Mud splattered Alex's face, uniform shirt, and most importantly, the pizza box just as he jogged near the voices. He stumbled and wiped off his face while mumbling 'Pizza…,". In the clearing near the Don River, two figures were locked in brutal combat and were none the wiser that their pizza had arrived. Behind the battle was a lived in campground, complete with a fire, tents, and hanging clothes.
The first, a lean lime green hybrid human with sharp back carapace and leathery skin shot forward on clawed feet, spinning a gorgeous bo staff in brutal arcs. He struck at his opponent with a bunch of whooshes. Alex was used to seeing mutated people, and it looked like the pair were crosses between people and turtles, with a thick shell on their backs, small knowing eyes, and big broad mouths. The staff user's opponent, broader with a vicious scar down his beak, deflected and tried to ping his opponent with nunchucks. The staff user was faster, and landed a thwack that boomed in the little camp clearing. Alex went to announce himself again but was cut off by a bark.
"ADAPT OR PERISH, DAN!"
Alex looked up to spot a little figure seated on a child sized chair near the camping tents and fire. A guinea pig in a faded purple gi, with a notched ear, and eyes burning flames in martial superiority. His tiny arms were muscled, crossed, and he watched the two turtle boys beat each other while yelling. "You think they'll accept us hybrids? You need to be better! Block Sal's strikes, Dan! CENTER YOUR BALANCE! Do not rely on your protection!"
The turtle man with the nunchucks roared and spun, clipping the staff-fighter across the back of the knee. With a flip and another slice, the staff clattered to the mud. The thick turtle leapt and cracked the final nunchuck into the other's forehead. The thin on stumbled back and rubbed where he was struck.
"Boom! Smacked ya!" the thick turtle, Dan, laughed and flexed. "You didn't see that coming, Sal!"
"We said no boosties today!" Sal groaned.
"Uhhh–Pizza delivery?" Alex tried to interrupt just as the two turtle boys jumped on eachother and began to wrestle in the mud. The sensei took notice of Alex with the sharpest glare he had ever seen and yelled again.
"ENOOOOOUGH!" His voice whooshed out and wind blew the candy wrappers and plastic on the ground outward. The two turtle boys rolling on the ground stopped pummeling each other and began to unknot themselves.
"That's enough," said the sensei as the pair scrambled up. "You two will not embarrass the Clan. Plus, the pizza is here. We must fortify ourselves with a Buff prior to today's trial. That puppy mill is not going to get broken by itself." The two bowed toward their master.
"Yes, Master Whiskers. Sorry, Master Whiskers." They said together.
A third turtle boy came out from a tent, smaller than the other two. He walked with grace, and a long sword strapped to his carapace. He bowed towards Alex with hands pressed together. "Forgive them, and thank you for the delivery. They are idiots."
Dan snorted. "Raph, you meditate too much. It's getting weird."
"Someone has to," the third replied and smiled at Alex. "Thank you for the drop, stranger. We do not have much in the way of tips. However, if you would ever like a discount for our services, be they security, labour, or any manner of problem solving, The Turtle Power Clan is in your debt." He reached into his shell and handed Alex a hand-drawn business card with three turtle faces on it. There was a little rune in the center, presumably to call Raph or Master Whiskers. Alex handed over the pizza and got the ding of the completed delivery. Now that he thought about it, it would be useful to have some eager turtles called in for back up if he needed it.
[Deliver the Pizza to the Customer - Complete]
[CREDITS: 173 -> 223]
"Yeah, anyone needs an ass kicking, you call us," Dan puffed his chest.
"Dan, you continue to embarrass the Clan," Master Whiskers squeezed the bridge of his nose.
"I'll keep that in mind," Alex said and began to jog off. "Keep uh, keep doing what you're doing. And enjoy the pizza!"
"RADIIICAL," They all said together and ripped open the box. Alex could already hear the trio and Master Whiskers arguing again and clapping pizza down their turtle gullets as he ran off, wondering why hell they seemed so familiar. The last thing he heard was Dan yelling. "Why the hell did you get vegetables? You ruined it!" No tip, but a turtle hit squad in his back pocket? That could come in handy. From what he could see, the young hybrids could seriously fight. The turtles slipped from his mind as he approached the portal. Even though it was a Tuesday and not very busy, there were still a bunch of deliveries to make.
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Cue the delivery montage.
Alex portaled all through Toronto and delivered pizzas. Up to the Bridle Path, where fortress mansions hid behind carnivorous hedge Monsters and wards that tracked your every step. He handed off a gold flaked pie that Nina scoffed at to a lion Familiar in a tuxedo. The tip was heavy and wrapped in velvet. Then it was up to Richmond Hill, where the Bernard Clan had ringed an entire block off with glowing runes and twenty foot pylons that exploded on contact. From there, he hit a run-down commercial strip in East York where every shop was desperate and a terrible suit wearing realtors. The guy who took the pizza had terrible breath he tried to cover up with cologne. So much cologne. And gel. No tip at that one, which wasn't a big surprise.
Halfway through his shift, Nina forced him to sit and eat a panino. No Buffs, or weird effects, just good food. The bread was still warm, with a crackling crust and warm middle. Thin ribbons of mortadella sat under crisp lettuce coated in the perfect amount of mayo. It wasn't fancy, but there's nothing like a sandwich when you're hungry. His [Running] was going beautifully, and he felt more in shape than ever. The tips were slowly stacking in his locker, and Nino was out front passionately arguing with a customer for requesting the absolutely not allowed substitution of "no cheese". Just as he finished his sandwich, his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see who messaged him.
Mary: WTF? NOW WE GOTTA BLOW THEM UP AGAIN? OKAY
Mary: Talk when home. Good day selling loot. Beepy can't wait to show u upgrade. Remember, it's a surprise. Act surprised
Alex grinned. Even with the looming threat of the Krusher's, he was looking forward to seeing what the little drone could do. He also couldn't wait to see if the boys would like the loot he got special ordered from Neuronuim. His phone buzzed again.
Mary: pack food again. Ask nina. Say please. Pretty pretty pretty please.
Alex just snorted and got back to work.
He even portaled inside someone's apartment, to a hyper perky woman wearing glitter and a fake smile. She kept the filming from her phone going as she handed him over the Credits and shoved him into frame. "Day in the life of a Relic Influencer! This pizza is like the best in the city! Very lowkey. Verrrrry demure. Don't blow up this spot." That tip was some merch she had from some workout company. No way he was taking a supplement called "Super Intestine Bloat Cleanse". Maybe Mary would risk it. He then portaled into a parkette where a gang of raptor like people hissed at him until one sniffed the box and chirped "He cool." The dripping tip that looked like a hunk of meat was pocketed, and he was off again.
Before he knew it, his shift was over. At 8PM, the old Lich couple stopped answering the phone, and Nina shoved a warm plastic bag with containers in it into his hand with strict instructions to not look until he got home. Nino escorted him out the front. The flower that hung in the window looked so healthy it was practically dripping nectar. Nino, who couldn't even be classified as looking old any more, gave him a firm clap and told him to "Be careful, be smart." before showing him out and seeing him off. The looks they were each other made him eager to leave and give the couple some alone time.
Does Nino like things thrown at him? Gross.
Alex hit the streets with his bag of loot and walked home. He waved to the Cookie Monster sweeper, who gave him a finger gun. Alex dodged sweaty Adventurer's and kept his eyes open for anyone wearing red. He swerved past a huddle of teens smoking their rainbow cloud cigarettes, and crossed through the traffic laden streets. As always, the floating cars honked, and the mopeds and scooters shaved hair off his arms and legs as they brushed past, but he didn't mind. He turned up the My Chemical Bromance album on his [Audio Player] and made his way home.
His stomach growled, but he wanted to share whatever Nina had packed with Mary. And maybe Emilio, if the chunky cat was home and waiting. At some point he needed to make it to the Allen gardens to see who the Gnomes had captured and were keeping hopefully fed and watered. The deliveries had helped clear his head. Snu was aware, if maybe pissed at him for not mentioning Britanii, but they were meeting tomorrow night. He figured he'd just lay the charm on thick and hope she was going to be OK. That's what mattered most anyways. The lack of aggressive flirting texts and dirty gifs had him a bit on edge, though. Neuronium, alongside his sidekicks, Pickles, and the pizza buff, were hopefully dishing out some serious hurt to the Krushers. The Professor hadn't texted Alex, so he assumed it was all OK for now. He was also looking forward to seeing what the boys, Beepy and Zippy, thought of what he got them.
The tips had been good, with a stuffed bag, and the added Credits helped as well.
[CREDITS: 223 -> 773]
As Alex made his way to his house apartment on St. George Street, the street seemed peaceful. Familiars were being walked, the purple night lilies pecked him on the shoulder with their "mwahs", and Alex felt mostly OK. He'd tell Mary what was going on, Snu was going to be OK, and his new relationship was not doomed.
Fingers and toesies crossed.
A blast of blue light flashed out of the third floor window of his apartment, followed by a pop and the sound of something very breakable exploding. A second flash followed. From down the street, he heard Mary yelling something that included multiple curses. Right after, the unmistakable bellow of Gravewhistle blared through the brick of the house. The bird monsters in the trees took to the sky in a howling swarm as they alerted everything around them that something had happened.
Alex sprinted home, hoping that Emilio wasn't laying down the law and blasting Beepy or something. Then came another boom from upstairs as the dinner bag swung in his arm. He banged into the apartment, and heard his friend yelling, Gravewhistle yelling, and his favorite lazy "meow" coming from the third floor of Mary's room.
Is that Emilio laughing?
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