"So, how does it feel, getting paid by two bosses at once?"

Bank Rawroot of the Miserables raises an eyebrow at the imp who's claimed a seat at their table amidst the chaos of the dungeon's ongoing 'birthday party'. "Eh? I'm not sure what you're referring to, Ruckus. We don't have two bosses."

The rogue waves the question off. "Eh, technicalities. I mean, the dungeon's paying your team to show off on Floor Ten, and the Association is giving you credit again for trying out new things. So it's basically getting paid from both ends, right?"

The drider at the table scoffs. "You can't pay room and board with class credit. For that matter, I'm still not sure what motivated you to step in and broker the deal with the dungeon. It's not like we've been giving you a cut of the loot."

"Ah, but Slinz, I've been paid in something better than coin." Ruckus taps the side of his temple. "I've been paid in reputation. The dungeon knows that I can provide useful services, and the Association knows that I can come up with clever ways to help, ah...Challengers in need like yourself. And everyone learns that they can rely on good ol' Ruckus to help them out if things get tight." The man shrugs. "Besides, Xenia did actually give me a couple of choice items after it turned out that you lot could actually take on a Master or two in a fight."

Nalaney, the sister of the half-elf, half-dwarf Greengrass twins, chuckles at the admission. "Good thing you added on that last bit, because I was about to say that you're full of shit. Then again..." She pauses to look around at the exclusive party going on around them. "That deal actually got us an invite to this. So maybe reputation isn't entirely a worthless thing to have. We're not getting that much credit anyways. We're only doing like one 'performance' a week, and it's not as much as a half-clear used to give us when we were back here a year ago."

"But it gets you even more reputation outside of the dungeon! You're level what, twenty-six, twenty-seven now?" The imp grins widely. "And you've beaten seven people in the high thirties! Now, I've had to take some time to, ah...get used to how you locals score class ranks around here. But I get the strong impression that level thirty is considered a big jump in skill, the difference between a talented amateur and, well...an actual expert, regardless of what the tier title says. A high-end Master losing to even a team of Experts is taking some serious ego bruising."

Nalaney's brother, Nalaff, develops a concerned expression. "That...actually sounds like a bad thing, actually. Are you saying we've made enemies out of the people we've beat? A couple have actually offered to buy us rounds after, you know!"

"Eh, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If this was back where I came from? Oh yeah, you four would've been totally murdered by now. But folks around here seem to genuinely respect a bit of talent, and for every one Master you've shown up, there's gotta be like...twenty people who enjoyed the show. Although one might say you've even been doing too well."

The team's Vanguard tilts his head. "...How so?"

"Well, the betting's been getting too one-sided! And I'm not just talking about the sort going through the dungeon. As a matter of fact, I was wondering if maybe in your next fight, you could - "

The man's scheming is interrupted as Xenia taps Ruckus on one shoulder and leans over the other, causing him to almost leap out of his chair. "No fixing the fights, Ruckus."

"Ahaha, ah, right! Of course! I was just suggesting...sponsorship deals! They could...advertise some local businesses before the fighting starts, you know?"

The dungeon master grins. "Nice save, but still no. You kids keep your noses clean, yeah?"

The four quickly nod as Slinz speaks for the group. "Of course, ma'am! No trouble from us, ma'am."

"Good kids. Now, you behave for a bit, it's almost time for some announcements..."

As the midnight hour comes close to hand, Xenia makes her way onto one of the lounge's stages - alongside Guy, although only the dungeon's guardians can see the guide's floating form. "Been enjoying the party, yeah? Well, it ain't nowhere near over yet! But it's about time for the main attraction of the night - my birthday gifts!" As a few of the guests look panicked about the fact that they didn't bring anything with them, the reincarnator smiles widely.

"No worries, I ain't talkin' about from y'all - although I am accepting shit if you can smuggle it past Alizz. Joking! Or am I? Okay, stop glaring at me like that, moving on! No, as some of you may be aware, dungeons get some nice shit from the gods at certain milestones. Bit of a dungeon secret, maybe, but if so I've let that one out of the bag a while ago. Unfortunately these milestones get a little further apart as time goes on, but I've been reliably informed that a dungeon's second birthday qualifies! And we're just a minute or two away, so celebrate with me as we hopefully get some shit that'll make the next year extra interesting, yeah?"

There's a fair bit of cheering and excitement from the crowd, although a few of the Challenger guests look like they might be a bit concerned about what sort of effects these 'gifts' might have on their livelihoods. Not to mention their lives. Still, as Guy begins a countdown to midnight and the guardians join in, the room as a whole gives in to the excitement of the moment. Finally the moment strikes, and the crowd goes silent as Xenia stares at the screens that begin to emerge from Guy's 'face'.

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: SURVIVOR 6

YOU HAVE SURVIVED TWO YEARS. YOU MAY NOW PRESENT YOUR AVATAR FORM TO INTRUDERS FOR UP TO THREE HOURS A MONTH.

NOTE: DUE TO A PREVIOUSLY-ACQUIRED AVATAR SPELL, THIS HAS BEEN UPGRADED TO ALLOW FOR TWO ADDITIONAL HOURS OF AVATAR DURATION EACH WEEK. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: BLOODTHIRSTY 4

YOU HAVE SLAIN AT LEAST TWO HUNDRED MORTALS IN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. WHEN A MORTAL DIES IN YOUR DUNGEON, YOU MAY PSYCHICALLY PROJECT THEIR DEMISE TO OTHER ACTIVE INTRUDERS. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: EXPANSIONIST 4

YOU HAVE EXPANDED TO AT LEAST TEN FLOORS WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. YOU MAY NOW MODIFY THE ENVIRONMENT IN LIMITED AND NON-HAZARDOUS WAYS WITHIN THIRTY METERS OF YOUR NORMAL DUNGEON BOUNDS. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: GOOD FIRST IMPRESSIONS 7

AT LEAST TWO THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED MORTALS HAVE ESCAPED YOUR BOUNDS WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. INTRUDERS CAN CHOOSE NOT TO CLAIM EARNED FLOOR REWARDS IN EXCHANGE FOR IMPROVED REWARDS ON THEIR NEXT FLOOR CLEAR. ------------------------

------------------------ The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: GOOD FIRST IMPRESSIONS 8

AT LEAST FIVE THOUSAND MORTALS HAVE ESCAPED YOUR BOUNDS WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. UP TO SIX INTRUDERS CAN BE MARKED AS 'FRIENDS OF THE DUNGEON' AT A TIME. THIS MARK LASTS FOR SIX HOURS OR UNTIL THE INTRUDER LEAVES THE DUNGEON BOUNDS. DURING THIS TIME THE INTRUDERS CAN BE GRANTED SKILLS AS IF THEY WERE DUNGEON MONSTERS, AND BE HEALED BY DIRECT APPLICATIONS OF DUNGEON MANA. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: RAVAGER 5

YOUR DUNGEON MONSTERS HAVE PERFORMED SEXUAL ACTS UPON MORTALS AT LEAST TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY TIMES. INTRUDERS WHO ARE VIRGINS OR WHO HAVE TAKEN AN OATH OF CHASTITY SHALL STILL BE CONSIDERED CHASTE FOR THE PURPOSES OF DIVINE OATHS AND OTHER REQUIREMENTS FOLLOWING A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH YOUR DUNGEON MONSTERS. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: RAVAGER 6

YOUR DUNGEON MONSTERS HAVE PERFORMED SEXUAL ACTS UPON MORTALS AT LEAST FIVE HUNDRED TIMES. INTRUDERS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH YOUR DUNGEON MONSTERS BECOME SIGNIFICANTLY MORE RESISTANT TO DAMAGE OF ALL TYPES. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: RAVAGER 7

YOUR DUNGEON MONSTERS HAVE PERFORMED SEXUAL ACTS UPON MORTALS AT LEAST SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY TIMES. YOU ARE NOW SUBJECT TO THE FOLLOWING DIVINE SANCTION:

*** INTRUDERS WHO EXPERIENCE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH YOUR DUNGEON MONSTERS MAY BECOME SIGNIFICANTLY MORE FERTILE FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

LOVE, KAHLIA ***

------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: CAMPERS 2

AT LEAST FIFTY MORTALS HAVE SPENT THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS WITHIN THE DUNGEON WITHOUT EXITING. MORTALS AFFLICTED IN YOUR DUNGEON WITH POISON, ILLNESS, OR OTHER SUCH EFFECTS MAY TREAT THEM WHILE SLEEPING WITHIN THE DUNGEON. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: CAMPERS 3

AT LEAST ONE HUNDRED MORTALS HAVE SPENT THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS WITHIN THE DUNGEON WITHOUT EXITING. THE EFFECTS OF HUNGER ARE REDUCED FOR MORTALS WHO SLEEP WITHIN THE DUNGEON. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: THEY TRIED 1

YOU HAVE DEFEATED AT LEAST ONE RAID WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. PARTIES WITH AT LEAST EIGHT MORTALS MAY BE RESTRICTED FROM DUNGEON BONUSES USUALLY APPLIED TO INTRUDERS AUTOMATICALLY. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: MEETING NEW PEOPLE 1

YOU HAVE SLAIN AT LEAST ONE MORTAL OF A SPECIES NOT NATIVE TO THIS REALM WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. BONE AND 'FALSE MORTAL' UNDEAD CAN BE CREATED OF ANY NON-NATIVE MORTAL SPECIES WHICH HAS ENTERED YOUR DUNGEON. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: DEFENDER OF THE REALM 1

YOU HAVE SLAIN AT LEAST ONE MORTAL NOT NATIVE TO THIS REALM WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. INTRUDERS NOT NATIVE TO THIS REALM SHALL BE KNOWN TO YOU UPON ENTRY INTO YOUR DUNGEON BOUNDS. ------------------------

------------------------ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: DEFENDER OF THE REALM 2

YOU HAVE SLAIN AT LEAST FIVE MORTALS NOT NATIVE TO THIS REALM WITHIN YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS. YOUR FLOOR GUARDIANS ARE NOW 25% MORE RESISTANT TO NON-NATIVE MAGICS. ------------------------

There's cheers, laughter, and some odd looks as Xenia reads off the list. Halfway through, even Xenia has to pause for a moment. "Seven hundred and fuckin' fifty? Unfortunately, I have way too good a memory and senses to not be aware of that shit, but at least I wasn't counting it. God, you all are the horniest pack of motherfuckers I've ever hung out with!"

Tolla of the Dungeon Fuckers yells back over the shouts of the crowd. "And here's hoping we can get you a few more milestones the next time one of these come around, yeah!? After all, if Kahlia says it's cool, who are we mortals to disagree?"

"True, I ain't gonna get us in trouble with our divine patron or something. But I am going to have so much sweaty flesh in my eternal memories by time I'm old..." Xenia sighs and continues with the list, finally pausing again as she reaches the end. As she does so, she blinks before pointing fingers at Beatrice, Ruckus, Bill, and at Thaddeus's party.

"Realmwalker. Realmwalkers. Yup, the realmwalker radar is working. Hopefully I won't be needing that again, though. Why's that even in there? Bill, you know any divine secrets you could share here?"

The guitarist furrows his brow. "What, like, about dungeon design and shit? Sorry, no. I know the Big Lady was looking into it a bit but I don't think even she knows a lot. I do know the gods get like, crazy jealous of gods from other realms poking their noses in, though."

Unable to stop her professional curiosity from leaking through, Alizz directs a question up to the stage. "Thank you greatly for sharing all of that with us, Xenia. Do you think any of these will lead to changes in the dungeon this year?"

Xenia pauses to consider her options. "Well, it sounds like we've just gotten some great new perks to advertise for the Floor Five inn. And I'm definitely making our entrance way fancier now! I'm thinking statues, leveling out the walkway...in areas where the dungeon's close enough to the surface, maybe I can even add some stairs to help out with the climb. But the one that I really like?" Xenia chuckles evilly and rubs her hands together before pointing her hand at the Miserables. "You!"

Bank points a finger at his own chest and speaks for the party. "...Us?"

"You've been doing a great job embarrassing Masters these past few weeks. But I hope you're ready for some serious training as Friends of the Dungeon, cause I am about to turn you into Supreme-humiliating machines."

Slinz gulps as she stands next to her party leader. "That...that sounds great, dungeon master! Definitely, uh, looking forward to it!"

The suggestion causes Alizz to frown. "Really? The gods grant you a way to help Challengers and your first thought it to turn it against them?"

"Yes, but only for fun and profit." Xenia gives the administrator her most charming smile. "And I, for one, am hoping for a lot of fun and profit for the next year. So thanks again to everyone for all your help this past year, and I hope I keep seeing some of you around - cause I'm betting the next one's gonna be a whole lot better..."

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