What an exceedingly ridiculous place. I was enthralled. The current was taking us right to it and I couldn't get there fast enough.

The flat river was full of little boats, or maybe big boats. But they looked tiny when compared to the walkers.

They were shaped like elk, perhaps. Their long legs ended in the multiply-forked root systems of mangroves, but those roots would curl up when the being took a step, dig in when the foot was planted. Four long, long legs stretching up to the huge body. Its hide was more like bark than anything, knotted and ridged and decorated with moss.

The heads of the things sported spectacular antlers, stretching dozens of meters to either side. The long snouts of the beings were adorned with gold, flowers and feathers, elaborate headdresses like one might see on a much, much smaller circus elephant. Charms and Runed gems dangled on silver chains from those spectacular antlers. The tiny eyes of the beings were dark and wet, and reminded me of a tidepool I'd visited by night as a boy, with the stars reflecting the sky above.

And atop the walkers were small villages. Little buildings, Human-sized or larger. I spotted cottages, trees, gardens and stone steps marching around the backs of the creatures. Each of the walkers had a different set of buildings on its back: one could easily see that this one was Human-centric, that one was nonhuman, largely consisting of spiny black structures. One of them had an honest-to-god little church up there.

Each of them had rope ladders and elevators, cranes extending to the water below. Many of the walkers had rope bridges stretching between them, such a wildly unsafe idea that I was seized with the immediate desire to run from one walker to the other along those things.

"Wow," I said. "Wow wow WOW!" And I bounced excitedly in the boat like a toddler.

"Caravan," Lux said, grinning. "I keep forgetting you're a hick from yesteryear."

"Wow!" I confirmed. "Old news to you though, do you visit here often?"

"Never. So I see your wow and add a Jeepers!"

Todd was doing his best not to look awed. Fine, be a stick in the mud.

I had no idea how many of the walkers were there. Dozens, a hundred? They marched off into the mist, one colossal being after the other.

Lux told me they were called Winnies by the Human populace, but didn't know why. I mentioned the recreational vehicles called winnebagos, and she still hadn't heard of them. Hick from yesteryear indeed.

"It's always traveling," she said. "The herd sets its path at the beginning of each year, and you can talk to them, find out where they're going. Trade routes have been set by where the herd goes. Not everyone wants to be visited by the Caravan, but the Winnie council doesn't really listen to protests. They go where they want."

"I'll bet they do!"

A decently-sized powerboat was approaching. It pulled up and a little white fuzzy fox-dinosaur, a Cazador, poked its head over the side. It wore a tiny white captain's hat. "Heyyyyy," it called. "You Human people in trouble? Need a ride to the Caravan?"

"Hell yeah!" I shouted, causing Lux to laugh.

"We're so stealthy and sneaky," she said. "On the run, that's us."

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"Oh yeah, forgot. This…it's just so cool, Ms. Lux."

We were taken to what was known as Tourist Winnie. Little taverns, restaurants, clothing shops. Once we got off the puffing steam elevator, it took a little while to adjust to the rocking of the beast's movement. Not quite like a ship at sea; one could feel the impacts as the Winnie's feet hit the earth.

"Do they have something we can do for you?" I asked Lux. "To get you out of the Human thing there and back into an AI…space?"

"I'm not in a hurry. Spring break, okay?"

I wasn't okay with it. You'll never do anything more important in your life than getting her out of that body.

We were given a room. Not huge, not too small. Three narrow beds made for Humans but probably not made BY humans. Lumpy. We put our stuff in there and went exploring.

Unlike the mall in Tropical Chicago, people seemed interested in trading; I didn't have anything for trade, so they'd just give us things. I was immediately handed a small edition of I Want My Friends To Be Monsters, by Schmendrick de los Cazadores. The one who'd visited in her flying red ship.

A restaurant in a moneyless world was a new experience. Gone was the rushed assembly-line of food preparation I'd grown up with. Instead the cook, a round middle-aged Human lady would invite you to hang out in the kitchen, demanding you try this or that, and she'd watch you carefully as you ate it. "Like it? Like it?" If we said yes, we did, she'd look skeptical. "How could it be better, though?"

The cook loved feeding Lux, who ate and ate and gushed over the quality of the meal.

Todd was grimly thankful. "It's good to see that Humans still have a place in this world," he said, for a moment going into Preston Covenant territory. I considered smacking the back of his head, then remembered I'd already nailed him there with a flying padlock.

We were thanked in turn by the cook: it was always good to have new input on her work. Lux hugged her and the cook blushed.

Everything here was a relentless pursuit of art. Everyone was a craftsperson of some kind. Lux expressed admiration for a huge sun hat with living alien flowers adorning its crown. They contained one of the Big Smart Bees, one with that tiny armor plating and melee weapons.

The person who'd made the hat was a delicate living balloon, a bright rescue-orange one with many eyes and five multijointed limbs. I was told she was a Gardener, and that she was terribly shy. Her Human apprentice informed us the Gardener's name was Nightmare Bloodstorm Eviscerator. She liked making things for very beautiful Humans. And the Bee came with the hat.

Lux was so grateful that she tried to hug the living balloon. The creature slapped frantically to drive her away.

"That hat is wicked cool," I said to Lux. "Like a big floppy pizza."

"Be honest, Owen-Mateo. Am I a pretty Human?" she asked. "It's okay if you say no, this is a temporary situation."

"Oh sure, your face fits all the measurements for it. I failed a good number of art classes, and you fit what's called the Golden Ratio, or the Marquardt Beauty Formula. These people are at your mercy." And it's also a very dangerous trait to have, I wanted to say. A lack of noticeability was safer by far. "Be careful," I concluded lamely.

"What should I name this big Bee?" The Big Smart Bee in question was parked in the flowers atop Lux's head. "Should I ask it? I understand they have souls, but they split them up between hive members, or something like that. A group mind."

"She's smart, right? How about Bee-nius? "

"Oh my god, forget it. Hey!"

Because the Bee had raised a little box, and there was a flash of light. The little box was stowed away again, and the Bee took off.

"Yes!" said Todd. He sounded miserable. "Yes, you're pretty, Lux. You really are."

"What have we here," I said, because Todd was flushed and sweaty. Unsteady on his feet, unable to match the rhythm of the walking Winnie beneath us. "Todd, you've been drinking, I think."

"I sure have!" he shouted.

Lux shoved him. "I wanna get drunk! Never did that before." She frowned. "Never did much of anything before. Take us to the booze, Todd."

Spring break. I followed nervously.

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