Anyone remember Calvin and Hobbes? I grew up with the books, I'd hide in the school library and binge them, over and over. They were a comic book, and Calvin was someone with whom I identified strongly. Strongly.

Calvin was an ADHDemon. He had lots of behavioral issues, ones I'd shared. He was smart, imaginative and bored. He'd fantasize about being a sci-fi character, one who flew around in a spaceship the shape and color of a red M&M.

"It's Spaceman Spiff," I said. Because that's who was zipping around up there. I couldn't see Calvin's goggles or puff of yellow hair, but the vehicle itself? Dead on. It even had the little rear fins, the headlights and grille in the front.

"Are they looking for us?" Lux said. She was still wet, looking like a very photogenic drowned rat. "They are, right?"

"Yeah. Definitely, here…" I wrapped her up in the Stealth tarp.

"HELP!" Shouted Todd, running from the cave. "OH GOD HELP PLEASE! I've been abducted, please contact the Human authorities!"

He picked his way along between the rocks and trees. His filthy trenchcoat had been left in the cave. He was just a dork without it. Or with it.

"Should we do something?"

"I think we blew it. He's already out there." He was about to give it all away. But I let him run. It was funny. I don't know why; maybe I just felt he'd suffered enough. Spoiler alert, readers: Todd had not suffered enough. "Want me to go get him?"

After a pause, she shook her head. She smirked. "Can we get away if they send people?"

"No question. Just disappear into the jungle, go down the river, whatever."

"Let's see what happens here."

The red flyer halted instantly midair in a way that made my neck hurt to watch. It was facing one way, then zip: immediately facing Todd. Zip, it was in front of him, just like that. Todd was startled enough to be knocked on his rear.

"I need assistance!" he called. "Are you Human?"

A feminine-but-also-inhuman voice boomed from the flyer. "I am Schmendrick."

Todd was frozen in place. Then, interestingly, he started scrambling desperately back to the cave, first on all fours, then at a dead run.

"Oh." Said Lux. "She's one of ours." And Lux grabbed my hand, hauling me to my feet. Shoved my back. "Go go let's go!"

"Are you sure?"

"Well yeah, look how scared Todd is!"

Lux had a point. Todd was expressionless with terror, but pale. He passed us in the opposite direction as he fled back into the cave.

"Hey!" Lux called. "Schmendrick de los Cazadores! I love your book!"

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

The voice boomed from the flying car. "You DO? You've read it? Oh! Oh I LOVE you supermodel lady!"

"I love you too, Schmendrick!" shouted Lux. "Can you give us a ride?"

The little flying car slid its glass bubble open. A nonhuman creature popped up: a face like a dog, or a weasel, or maybe one of the cute kinds of bats, not the kinds with all the doohickeys for sonar on the face. It was dark-eyed and white-furred. I'd seen her on a book cover.

"Tell me the best part of my book!" Schmendrick said without the loudspeaker. "Aaand the bad parts. I want to make a good book for my friends…" She trailed off, looking at me.

She tilted her head, big triangular ears forward. "Owen?"

I shrugged. "Sort of."

The little nonhuman tilted her head the other way, still aimed at me. "Tricky," she said. "You hear that?"

A very low hum. One I hadn't heard since I'd gotten here, to this…world. Droning, rhythmic. Helicopters.

There they were, coming over the horizon. Five of them. Glittering, black, menacing. Human.

The bubble closed decisively, and her voice boomed out from the car. "I need to fight helicopters. I need to ask about you. You're my friends but I think you might be a tricky trap. I'm sorry. I love you, supermodel lady."

And the flying car jumped straight up. Paused in midair. Then leaped at the helicopters.

We both wanted to watch, clearly. But I said: "Those aren't on our side. They might be here for Todd. Maybe he found a way to signal them."

"That's fine. I stole something useful."

It was a self-inflating raft. Not made for rivers, probably, but we had a river and a raft and that was that. It puffed into being, unfolding and hissing and flopping to life.

Lux had an armful of stolen Costco goods. "This raft is neat. It had a price tag of five thousand bucks. I like Costco, are they still in business, you think? I hope so. They had stuff that looked good to eat but was really expired."

The raft was at the base of a waterfall, and Todd was watching the fight up there. Schmendrick's Spiff ship was weaving and spinning around the helicopters, flying literal circles around them. If she had a weapon she wasn't firing it. I got the impression she didn't really want to kill anyone, not for real.

"She's stalling them," I said. "I think she wants us to get away, so let's go. Todd, want to?"

He blinked at me. "I get a choice?"

"I…yeah. Lux, does Todd get a choice?"

"Sure whatever, help me load up."

He sounded exasperated instead of grateful. "Why do I get to choose? Aren't I your hostage?"

I sighed. "I was upset. I don't want to hurt you. You deserve it, let's be clear. But you're just…dumb. Racist and evil too, and I can't do anything about that. You have people in the helicopters who can rescue you and take you home. Your choice. Lux, what do you think?"

"I don't need the parka."

"About Todd."

"Todd can do what he wants. I don't have a hostage-taking gland."

"I don't either." Not anymore. And he was a pain.

A distant boom. Schmendrick's red M&M craft whipped around overhead, back into the fray.

"I'll go with you," he said. "I don't actually know who those guys are in the copters. I'm not sure…I might be better off on this camping trip." He frowned. "Some bad people in that camp…" He had a brief, rare facial expression: dread.

Great, more Todd. I helped them in, shoved the raft. Climbed in myself. Draped the Stealth tarp over the whole thing for shade. And away we went.

"I like camping so far," Lux said. Turns out I do know how to poop."

I held up a hand to high-five her, and she smacked me there good and solid. I did discreetly scrub my hand in the water afterwards.

The sounds of combat faded. I was going to say something dumb like I hope Schmendrick's okay. But I think Schmendrick was just fine. It was us I worried about.

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