Today's Earth date: November 16, 1991

I used to love the beach. Thanks to this place, this world, I don't want to be anywhere near the water. Every shadow I see looks like a monster.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

"We're friends, right Margo?" Fergus asked. He had a widebrimmed hat on and his feet propped up on the boat railing, a book in his lap.

"Of course," she answered, her eyes on her fishing line.

"I didn't even see it, and I've still had nightmares."

"Sorry about that." Margo didn't sound sorry.

"I'm grateful your tactical mind is on our side," Armond said. "And I'm glad no one else in our party is that creative."

Hector, meanwhile, stood at the railing, wearing a smile that hadn't faded since his first cast. Seeing the former bouncer smile was a rarity in general, and Wayne suspected that this might be the most the man had smiled in a day, ever.

Wayne had a rod, but he told Sammy he could reel it in if he got a bite before the cook did. He wasn't much of a fisherman and didn't mind making the boy's trip a little bit more fun if he could. The view was nice, and that was plenty. In one direction, Cuan was a distant spec. In the other, the bluest water Wayne had ever seen stretched beyond the horizon.

The boat they chartered wasn't quite as picturesque as the scenery. Wayne was transparent with each captain he talked to about the likelihood of a random monster attack while his party was on board. Invariably, they laughed uncomfortably as if it was a joke, and he had to gently explain that no, he was being serious. He'd recap what a usual wagon ride between towns was like for them, and unsurprisingly, captains were not inclined to risk their crew and their boats.

The Wiggly Worm was the exception. That was the boat's name. Not the captain's.

The captain's name was Earl, and he usually worked alone, so his vessel was small enough to be manned by a single sailor. The deck was a touch crowded with the entire party on board, but it was manageable as long as they didn't keep any catch they made. Earl was confused when Wayne said that was fine–because then why go fishing in the first place–but he happily took his pay and welcomed the Zeroes aboard.

"Haven't had any trouble with monsters in something like five years," Earl said. "Even then, was just a school of blue slimes. The real dangerous stuff is in deeper waters."

"I don't want anything to happen to you or the boat. I wasn't joking about the monster attacks."

Earl held up a spear with a rope attached to the end and said he was ready. When Wayne first saw the weapon as they boarded, he expected it to be some sort of harpoon, but really it was so Earl didn't lose his spear. The captain had terrible luck with equipment going overboard, so anything of value was tethered to the boat, just in case.

Wayne continued to use Probe out of habit, quickly gaining an appreciation for how much lived beneath the water's surface. A scattering of red dots was ever-present on his HUD, but they moved about the way fish do. None of them indicated any interest in the boat, and they swam away when the boat got too close.

Perhaps water monsters were akin to sharks on Earth, potentially dangerous but mostly they were uninterested in doing too much work for a meal. Monsters attacked the Chosen Heroes when they were on or near water, however, including down the coast not far from Cuan.

In all of their recent travels, the party seemed to be just as susceptible to random encounters as the Heroes were. Wayne didn't expect the water to be any different.

The trip had been quiet.

"What do you think so far?" Armond asked Hector.

"I know what I want to do when I retire," Hector said. "I could get used to this."

"Already thinking of retirement?"

"I'm not in any hurry, but it's hard not to think about it sometimes."

Armond asked why.

"Before this job, I knew I'd never get to retire. I wouldn't have a choice but to work until I died. I'm not there yet, but I like knowing I could have the option, you know?"

"I don't think I could retire," Armond admitted. "I have trouble with the time off we get already."

"Why's that?" Fergus asked.

"Need to feel useful, I guess."

"Relaxation is useful," Fergus said. "Rewards make work meaningful, and when we find meaning in our work, we tend to do it better. So really, you aren't giving it your best if you're not enjoying the fruits."

Armond laughed. "I don't know if I can argue."

"Of course you can't. A scholar's argument is unassailable."

"I yield," Armond joked.

"I accept."

The lazy day on the water flowed by, as if the rocking waves were a slow metronome in no hurry to swing back in the other direction. Wayne sat next to Fergus for most of the trip. For the most part, they didn't speak, but when they did, it was about their research.

Grinroot helped Fergus analyze the samples from Julian's tomb: pieces of the tablets, the remains of the dog golem, and Julian's clay-covered bones. The clay was indeed made from the tablets. The dog's clay had fragments of bone mixed into it. Not full bones like Julian's limbs, ground to dust, like with a mortar and pestle.

"He was missing fingers," Wayne reminded Fergus.

"Right, but why? There's more to it than mixing the two together. Grinroot tested the blend and is certain druid magic isn't the answer."

"It's weird that you call her by her last name."

"This is a professional conversation."

"Right," Wayne laughed. "If there's something to this, we have lots more ruins to explore. If they all have the secret admin floor, we'll have more to work with."

When conversation lulled, Wayne's resting his eyes turned into an afternoon nap.

"Wayne. Look at this." Fergus kicked Wayne in the shoulder. The old scholar could have gently shaken him from his sleep, but that would have meant getting up. Poking Wayne with a toe was easier.

Hector had his rod set in his hip. He leaned back to brace himself, the bend in his pole looking as if it could shatter any moment. Sammy had his arms around Hector's waist in an attempt to anchor the party's tank to the deck. Armond stood next to the pair, shouting encouragement. Margo, meanwhile, sat on the railing, enjoying the show.

"So it's kind of big?" Wayne said.

Earl was abuzz with excitement. "Big enough that we had to raise the anchor. She's pulling us through the water."

"Is that normal?"

"Unusual but not all that rare. This one's spunkier than most. Girl's been pulling for a while."

Wayne looked around. They were moving farther from shore. Earl said that wasn't surprising either. Deep water meant the ability to dive harder and faster to escape the hook. If she doubled back under the boat, the line would break against the hull.

"How long can a thing like this last?"

"Heard of one fish who fought for two days and then shook the hook."

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Well, that wouldn't work. They only rented the boat for the day.

Probe.

If Wayne's HUD was a physical screen, he would have tried wiping it off. He couldn't be seeing this right.

A red dot a fourth the size of his HUD view was ahead of the boat, pulling it along. If that reading was correct–and he had no reason to believe it wasn't–a monster that big could fit this little fishing boat in its mouth.

"Hey, Hector," Wayne said, calmly.

"Yeah?" he grunted.

"Probe says your fish is big."

"How big?"

"Guest-house-big."

Hector looked over his shoulder at Wayne, confirming the Zero Hero wasn't joking. "What do you want to do?"

Wayne thought. He apologized to Earl ahead of time and summoned Outlawson.

The bug landed in the water, pushing the boat a dozen yards away in the wave. When the water settled, Outlawson bobbed to the surface and righted himself. He appeared to float just fine.

Wait. Was this his new Ferryboats ability? He never had a reason to use Outlawson on water before. Maybe if he had tried, the bug would have sunk.

At any rate, he answered the most pertinent question and dismissed the bug.

"We've got a ride back if the boat sinks," Wayne said. "I don't have a solution for if it eats us."

"Hrglut would eject you," Fergus said.

"Us."

Fergus signed. "Yes, us."

"What do you want to do, Hector?"

"I want to catch a big fucking fish."

Wayne laughed. "Okay. Let's catch a big fucking fish."

Fergus promised Earl they'd get him a new boat if this went poorly. The captain seemed oddly fine with that.

"Your fish, Hector. Your show." Wayne stood on the side opposite of Armond. "How do you want to play this?"

"I want to hit it with the fish club."

"What?"

"The club you use when you catch a fish."

"Hector," Wayne looked at the club lying on the deck. It was smaller than a baseball bat. "There's no way that will–Sorry, we're killing it. Twenty some more dots moving in."

"Sorry, Hector," Margo said.

"This would count as a catch even if we fight it, right?"

The party looked to Earl. He startled when he realized all eyes were on him. "Yes. I believe that counts."

Wayne asked Fergus what he needed for Tsu, his new space laser spell, to target. Fergus dropped his head and said he needed line of sight. The scholar turned around to accept his fate.

The younger scholar wrapped two arms around the older scholar and Blitzed into the sky. As their height crested, passing into that momentary feeling of weightlessness before gravity reclaimed them, Wayne pointed Fergus at the large shadow beneath the water.

A red beam dropped from the sky, ocean water turning to steam where it struck. A muffled roar bubbled up from below and the shadow turned a sharp right to doubleback on the boat. Wayne tried Missile but couldn't confirm if they actually hit their target. From this high up, they almost looked like they broke apart on the surface, but he couldn't be certain.

As the scholars fell back to the boat, Wayne looked back at his HUD.

"On the boat!"

Four red dots beneath the water slopped black tentacles over the sides of the vessel. The monsters that emerged were like the heads of sunflowers with tentacles instead of petals. At their centers were a circle of teeth that contracted like angry sphincters. They were equal in size to the party barbarian.

Their entire bodies were a similar size, to clarify. Wayne wouldn't know how to go about comparing sphincter sizes. Was it a total surface area thing? Perhaps diameter? Clenched or unclenched? Too complicated.

Margo opted for her bow, sniping one tentacle at a time as Armond went in with a sword and Hector with the dumb little fish clubber, one hand still gripping his rod.

Wayne hit Brake inches above the boat and deposited Fergus on the deck. As he reached for Insect Flute again, he called for Armond to hit Outlawson with the speed spell Ner. While the wizard collected his wits, Wayne hopped on Outlawson's back and pointed him toward the red mass on his HUD.

As for what he would do when he got within range of the sea monster, Wayne was hoping he'd have an idea for that soon.

A black tentacle the size of an inflated car dealership wavy man–and with similar physics–burst from the water and swung down at Outlawson. Wayne steered his mount clear and spammed Missile at the exposed appendage. Their impacts broke away black pieces of the giant, but he would need two dozen more Missiles to eliminate the tentacle completely. Potentially cutting off one tentacle was a small victory against an enemy that had seven backups.

Ah!

Wayne had a burst of inspiration after panic browsing his system menus for several long seconds, but it was a long shot. And risky.

He turned Outlawson toward the nearest tentacle and jumped, rapid-tapping Blitz to launch himself forward. Instead of sinking a sword in the nearest noodle, he aimed to strike it with his shoulder. When his shoulder was about to connect, a tentacle he hadn't seen smacked him across the chest, triggering Personal Foul and taking 21 hitpoints. That was less elegant than he intended, but the outcome was what he had hoped.

The monster surfaced, bellowing pained anger.

The monster Hector had hooked was a kaiju version of the black sunflowers attacking the Zeroes on the boat. Risking a glance to check on them, Wayne saw Armond use his air barrier spell to knock the monsters into the water. Wayne didn't know that the barrier followed the cleric's movements, but he saw Armond summon Deban, then move side to side on the boat to bounce the air barrier against the monsters. Peeling them off the boat with a hitbox, essentially.

Clever.

Skycat swooped in with orders to strafe to and fro with Missile barrages. The spells found their mark–not terribly surprising given the size of the monster–but the damage they dealt was little more than scrapes and scratches. If the party didn't seriously injure it before it dove again, the monster could easily crush the fishing boat from the safety of deep water.

Wayne ordered Outlawson to return to the fishing boat. As his mount turned in the water, Wayne leapt from the insect and Blitzed to put himself well above the sea monster.

Linebacker.

The football robot appeared next to Wayne and immediately plummeted out of the sky and toward the water, repeating "hut, hut, hut, hut" the entire way down. The monster took the bait and whipped tentacles at Linebacker Bot. As they wrapped around the football robot, Wayne dropped from the sky and tapped Brake just over the writhing beast.

Linebacker Bot exploded, but the distraction did its job. Wayne stabbed his sword downward into a tentacle, twisted, and tapped Easy Out.

The momentum of the instant backward dash pulled Wayne's longsword down the length of the tentacle, splitting the appendage in half. Holding onto the sword during that movement shot pain through his hands and wrists. The results, however, were worth it.

As Wayne Blitzed upward out of range again, he yelled. "Margo! Get on Outlawson!"

He didn't have time to see if Margo listened, but the movement of green dots on his HUD suggested she heard the order and leapt to follow it.

Seeing Outlawson paddling back toward the sea monster, Wayne ordered Skycat to do a low strafe. The maneuver was risky for the model plane, but he preferred Skycat to take a slap from the tentacles over himself.

Just as it did with Linebacker Bot, the sea monster fixated on attacking the nuisance fighter jet.

Wayne dropped back down, sank his sword into monster flesh, and tapped Easy Out to flay another appendage. He didn't withdraw quickly enough.

The blow felt like being hit by a wet bag of grain, heavy yet bendable. The strike came from below, launching Wayne into the air. He twirled from the impact and saw his hitpoints drop to

73 out of 171.

Still spinning through the sky, he cast Fanbi through Skycat to slowly drain hitpoints from the beast. At the same time, he felt the warmth of a healing spell. Armond must have seen the strike and immediately lent his aid.

His hitpoints jumped to 103 and started climbing.

As his trajectory leveled, Wayne saw Margo and Outlawson closing quickly.

"Save the laser! Doran and arrows!"

Outlawson arced wide around the monster to stay at the edge of its range. Margo rapidly fired arrows, buffed by Armond's Ner spell. The arrows had no hope of winning the fight, but they drew the beast's attention away from Wayne. Between its wounds and the lowered accuracy of the Doran debuff, every attempted swat at Outlawson and his passenger missed their mark.

Wayne adjusted his course with Blitz and fell back toward the black tentacles, aiming just off the monster's center, to the side of its jagged maw.

"Laser now!" he yelled as he descended.

Three gleaming red arrows shot through the side of the monster one after the other, and the beast recoiled in response to the pain, crunching its body around the wound to protect it.

Brake.

Wayne landed with his sword thrusting downward. He set the hilt against his hips, much like Hector had done with his fishing rod, and he repeated the Blitz skill as quickly as he could.

Every activation was like a hammer striking a nail, driving Wayne deeper and deeper into the monster. His hitpoints fell by 15 with every dash, his body straining against the pain of smashing into his hilt repeatedly at top speed.

Fanbi helped to delay his demise, fighting to restore the hit points as fast as he was losing them, so he kept hammering. Daylight disappeared as he drove deeper and deeper into the monster.

Then he burst free, Blitz shooting him through an ocean black with monster blood.

He spotted Outlawson on his HUD and Blitzed toward the insect. Margo grabbed Wayne's hand and pulled him up when he was close.

35 hitpoints left but climbing.

The fight had gone out from the monster. It attempted to dive, but with most of its tentacles mangled or severed, it splashed weakly. The few remaining red dots on his HUD sped away from the fishing boat.

Hector had his rod in his hand and cranked the reel, pulling the fishing boat toward the nearly dead sea monster with each revolution.

"I caught my first fish!" he yelled like a child on Christmas morning.

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