Today's Earth date: November 15, 1991

Monsters came out of the water. Some kind of fish people. They climbed the cliffs while we slept. The one soldier on watch had his eyes on the forest, so they got into the camp before anyone knew we were under attack.

We're fine, but two of the soldiers got the worst of it. Wilmond managed to heal one, but the other passed away. He was just a kid, like 15 or 16.

Horcus and Rathain are pushing for us to leave the Temple, but Wilmond wants to give the boy a real funeral. So we're staying.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

Wayne couldn't stop thinking about how they disabled the barrier around Julian's tomb. His being able to enter the Water Temple made him believe having or not having system access was the difference between getting in or staying locked out, but the options on the barrier cube suggested the reality may have more nuance.

The cube's six options were: Forgemaster, Heroes, Nobility, Wildlife, Designated, and Open.

The barrier was up and the cube was set to Forgemaster when they entered. Turning it to Open disabled the barrier entirely. Distinctions for Heroes, Nobility, and Wildlife suggested another set of potential criteria for who could access the barrier's interior. Presumably, the Temples were set to Heroes, if they operated under the same system.

For Wayne and the Zeroes to have entered the Water Temple and Julian's tomb, he hypothesized the roles weren't necessarily exclusive. A Forgemaster could be akin to admin access, so though a system was set to Heroes, Forgemasters still had super privileges. There being no "Closed" option made that more plausible in Wayne's mind. When access to an area was blocked in a piece of software, someone could still get in.

Fergus, meanwhile, couldn't help but come back to talking about their party's unfilled position when talk of mysteries waned.

"We need a campmaster. I'm tired of fighting with my tent every damn night."

"Does Einrig's mom have any other kids?" Wayne asked.

Fergus nearly pushed Wayne off of Outlawson.

"Okay, sorry," Wayne said. "That's the last joke I make about Einrig."

"I was doing something nice. That's all."

"I believe you. Mostly."

Fergus scowled. "We have an outstanding invoice with Miss Kryss. Is that the last piece of business to resolve before we move on?"

"I have an order in with Perris, but I guess you can't put a delivery date on an item like that."

"So if he hasn't procured it by the time Kryss pays us?"

Wayne shrugged. "I suppose we move on and either have it shipped to us or he holds on to it until we're back in the city. Probably the latter. Moving magic jewelry by courier seems like a great way to have it lost or stolen."

"Would be nice to have payment from Blackwell before we depart as well." But that was wishful thinking.

They had discussed this already and agreed that waiting on Blackwell could mean weeks of lounging about Cuan, and that was if he addressed the invoice immediately. With all of the distance he or the payment would need to travel, the more realistic timeline was a month or more.

Blackwell was good for his word, but waiting to get paid until the party had been in Iomallach for some time was frustrating. Wayne and Fergus both preferred to have the money in hand rather than keep a ledger of debts and unpaid bills.

As for other open action items, Fergus needed to procure his stash of fish for Cold Storage, and he wanted another night with Lady Grinroot, for business and pleasure. If anyone in Cuan could analyze the clay around Julian's bones, it would be Grinroot. Wayne, meanwhile, needed to pick items to trade with Vanilli. The party would stop in Asplugha on their way to the Water Temple to see if Margo's Prism revealed hidden rooms in the dungeon there, which could mean a brief or lengthy stay depending on what they found. Then they'd stop at the Water Temple before continuing northwest to go inland to the Forest of 10,000 Cuts.

"This is starting to feel like a vacation with my parents," Wayne said.

"How so?"

"Any trip we took was always preceded by a massive to-do list, a lot of work, and a great deal of stress. I don't remember a trip where my parents didn't fight and one of us didn't cry just trying to get out the door."

"Ah," Fergus replied. "My parents had similar dispositions. Relaxing was somehow so very serious."

"Am I falling into the same trap again? We're juggling a lot of variables and responsibilities. I'm starting to feel more stressed about leaving Cuan than I am excited for seeing Iomallach."

Fergus offered a knowing "Hmm." "The nature of a journey makes much of that inevitable. If we want the fun of exploring ruins, we need the connections and capital to do so."

Wayne said that was true.

"Perhaps the real problem is proportional. If we can't avoid being responsible Royal Scholars, we should be deliberate in balancing that with trivial nonsense that has no more meaning or value than to be enjoyable."

"Okay, yeah," Wayne said. "I'd be on board for that."

"Excellent. We've established that we need more nonsense. What flavor of nonsense would you like to partake in?"

Wayne didn't have any answers even when Fergus made the options as broad as, "women, entertainment, or food."

"You're hopeless," Fergus said. He turned to speak to the Zeroes riding in the wagon behind them. "Alright, friends, we have a new assignment. Each of you are to pick something fun you want to do in Cuan before we depart."

"Trivial bullshit only!" Wayne yelled, not turning around but holding a finger up in the air.

"Quite, right," Fergus said. "Trivial bullshit only. Fun for fun's sake. The only restriction is that it can't be illegal. If it is illegal, that's not necessarily the end of the idea, so we can talk about just how illegal it is before deciding for sure."

Hector looked across the wagon at Sammy the cook, who listened intently. "Does Sammy get to pick something too?" Hector asked.

Fergus smiled. "As Wayne would say, 'hell yeah!'"

Sammy lit up, and Fergus offered Hector a subtle "thank you" nod for not leaving Sammy out.

"Does around Cuan count?" Armond asked.

"Of course."

"Can we answer now or do we have to wait?" Hector asked.

Fergus encouraged him to share if he had an idea already.

"Lived in Cuan my whole life and never been on a boat. Always wanted to do one of those fishing charters folks talk about."

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Margo nodded enthusiastically. "That's a good one."

Wayne and Fergus agreed. Taking a fishing charter was officially on the list, Fergus proclaimed.

"My idea is fishing related too, but I can come up with something else," Armond said.

"Is it the same idea or different?"

"I've heard spearfishing near the Water Temple is pretty good. I've never spearfished but always wanted to."

"It's on the list!" Fergus said. He looked to Sammy and Margo next, but if they didn't have ideas yet, that was fine too.

"There's this bar my husband used to go to," Margo said, timidly.

"You never went with him?" Hector asked.

"I did, but not as this Margo."

Wayne could appreciate the sentiment, like visiting your neighborhood bar after being away for college for four years.

Hector asked which bar, when Margo answered, he chuckled. "Margo wants a bar fight."

"Huh? No, I don't."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Hector said. "Got to let loose in your own way. I know that bar, though. If you're going there to make a statement, going to be some punches."

"There might be a few people I wouldn't mind laying out…" Margo said.

"Fergus!" Wayne said, "Add barfighting with Margo to the list!"

"Gladly!"

Leaving Sammy. He said his idea wasn't as cool as everyone else's and wanted to wait to share until he came up with something better. Hector nudged him and insisted it would be fine.

"Well, I've been hearing Mr. Wayne and Mr. Fergus talking about art, and I don't know that I've ever seen proper art, like in a museum or a gallery."

"On Earth we called it a 'gallery crawl,'" Wayne said. "Not lame at all, especially with a few drinks."

Fergus added gallery crawl to the list.

When conversation quieted, Wayne spoke softly so that only Fergus could hear. "Thank you."

Margo's bar visit was the easiest to schedule, so the party ended up doing that first.

"The Tuna" was a bar on the southeastern side of Cuan, an area Wayne and Fergus were previously warned of because it was a "tough neighborhood." Margo's old locksmith shop was only four blocks away, and Hector had lived in the general area most of his life. They insisted what many called tough really just meant poor.

The people were nice enough. Just don't go down alleys at night and don't mouth off if you can't back it up. The Cuan guard didn't come around to break up fights in that part of town, so if you started something, you had to see it through one way or another.

To Wayne, The Tuna was like any generic dive bar he had known on Earth. There wasn't much in the way of beer-sign-neon or broken jukeboxes, but the vibe was the same. Locals knew who wasn't one of them, but they didn't give a shit if you weren't there to disturb the peace. If you were, the home team was putting you on your ass and tossing you out the door.

The party got more than a few curious looks when they entered, and several patrons doubletaked when they recognized Margo. The group claimed a table and Wayne went to the bar to order a round. When he turned back, a hairy cueball of a man stood at their table, addressing Margo.

"Margo, Margo, Margo. Look at you, darling."

"Good to see you, Klint," she answered while trying to ignore him.

"Thought you died or were busy working a corner to pay off all those debts."

"Neither of those, and every debt is settled."

Klint put a finger in his ear and twisted it back and forth. "Come to think of it, I remember some loan interest we never addressed. Surely your rich friends could cover the difference."

Wayne considered cancelling the round of drinks. At this rate, they wouldn't have time to drink them. Looking around, Wayne saw one group in particular watching the exchange, three goons at the far end of the bar who were their own iterations of Klint's looks and charm.

"Move along," Margo said and waved her hand for emphasis.

"Excuse me, hun?" Klint said, leaning over Margo. "I don't go looking to hit women, but if they deserve it, they deserve it, so remember your place."

Hector shifted as if to intervene, but Fergus gently held him back. Sammy, who was crammed in the corner, appeared to regret coming along for this adventure.

"You know what, Klint, you're right. I do owe you. I've wanted to slap that smile off your face for years. Man enough to step outside and hit a woman?"

Klint's head tilted like a dog hearing a strange noise. As he chewed on Margo's words, his scowl progressively deepened.

This was developing more quickly and in a far more straightforward manner than Wayne anticipated. Margo dropped the pretense of wanting a drink pretty much instantly. Hector hadn't exaggerated. She was fixing for a bar fight.

The party already agreed, "no killing," but how much could they pull their punches against people with no system access? Hector killed someone by accident before he became a barbarian and leveled up. If he couldn't restrain himself then, what were the chances he could now?

Fergus argued the Governor was good for at least one criminal pardon for each of them. It was the least he could do to repay the Zeroes for saving the city. Wayne wasn't so sure, but after standing within ten feet of Klint for 30 seconds, he had a hard time imagining anyone would complain that he got roughed up.

Klint collected himself and turned to leave Margo. "You're not worth it. World would have been better if you went up with Gryson."

Fergus winced. Gryson was Margo's husband's name.

Margo stood, and spoke loud enough for the bar to hear. "Step outside if you want an ass kicking. You have five minutes to work up the courage."

She pushed by a stunned Klint and walked out the door without looking back.

Armond appeared next to Wayne. "We didn't sign up for murder, did we?" His tone left the door open for his question to be a joke, but the question was mostly serious.

Wayne didn't answer because he wasn't sure himself. In less than a minute, Margo was outside in the street with everyone from the bar watching from the sidelines. Margo handed her knives and her bow to Wayne.

Klint seemed hesitant at first, but a few jeers put the cruelty back in his eyes. Margo put up her fists and glided into Klint's range. He chuckled uncomfortably.

Slap.

And Margo was back out of range, well out of danger before the sound of the strike reached the crowd's ears.

"You bitch." Klint spat. He ran forward and grabbed Margo's collar with one hand, loading a haymaker with his right.

He pulled her in and threw his whole body into the punch, some two hundred pounds of slightly drunk gangster hurtling at Margo's face.

He missed.

And he missed again.

He had Margo in his clutches, but he couldn't land a strike. Even with her shirt wrapped in his fist, Margo weaved around Klint's punches with ease. Between her system-driven combat knowledge and her Doran skill impairing Klint's coordination, his attacks were slow, lumbering, and easy to read.

She twisted and clipped his shin with her foot. Klint fell forward, releasing his grip to catch himself before his face hit cobblestone. Margo looked toward Wayne with her hand out. As Wayne passed the bow to the rogue, Klint lunged at her back with a knife in hand.

An arrow wrapped in a laser beam buzzed by Klint's head and burnt a hole in the street. He froze. As did every member of the gawking crowd.

"I'm good," Margo said to her party. She turned and walked away.

The group followed their rogue down the street and around the corner. Margo stood there grinning when they caught up, a key ring pinched between her fingers.

"This is the first time the Steal skill has been useful."

"Lead the way," Wayne said.

Klint's basement apartment wasn't far. Margo danced down the stairs humming a triumphant tune. She inserted the key and pushed the door open. She poked her head inside, wrinkled her nose, and danced back up the stairs.

"I can't watch this," Fergus said. "I'll be one block over."

"You sure?" Margo asked.

"I have no doubts in my soul." He grabbed Sammy by the back of his shirt and dragged the cook with him, saying it was for his own good.

When Fergus was out of sight, Wayne used Insect Flute to summon Outlawson.

"Margo," Hector said, "Wasn't sure what to make of you when this all started. This is damned incredible."

"Thanks, Hector." Margo walked by Outlawson and patted him on the side of his body-head. "You're up, buddy."

As Wayne maneuvered Outlawson so the bug's mouth opened at the top of the stairs, he thought that telling Margo his story of drowning rattlings with Sword of Water back in Taobh was a mistake. Too late now, though. Wayne eyeballed the path down to Klint's front door and tweaked his mount's position just so.

"This might be the most evil thing I've done in any of my lives," Wayne said.

Hrglut-Hrglut-Hrglut-Hrglut-Hrglut-Hrglut.

Liquid erupted from Outlawson's mouth like an unclogged storm drain, cascading down the stairs and through the front door. Everyone recoiled but Margo. She watched the entire ten minutes it took for Outlawson to fill the apartment to street level.

The smell was like inhaling chlorine and stale farts.

Margo nodded proudly. "Thanks, guys. This feels better than I thought it would. Let's get Fergie and Sammy. Drinks are on me."

"This makes a fishing trip seem pretty tame," Armond said to Hector.

"Yeah, this was a strange way to relax," Hector said. "Different strokes, I guess."

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