Chapter 372: An Elusive Moon (3)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
As usual, Juho was looking down at a blank sheet of manuscript paper while thinking of what to write next. His stories had become shorter lately, and Juho hadn’t been satisfied with any of them. Contrary to him, Hyun Do had been writing steadily and unhindered. After glancing at him from behind, Juho looked down at his own manuscript. There was a noticeable difference between Hyun Do’s current appearance and the author’s younger version in Juho’s dream. With his sharp nose, Hyun Do had been strikingly handsome when he had been younger. While Juho was spinning his pen, Hyun Do asked, “Did you have a question?”
Looking under his manuscript for no apparent reason, Juho asked, “Not really. Why do you ask, Mr. Lim?”
“All right, then.”
Then, right as Hyun Do was about to go back to writing, Juho brought up what he had been meaning to talk about with Hyun Do, “So, I had an unsettling dream last night.”
At that, Hyun Do stopped what he was doing, turned toward the young author and gave Juho his full attention. At which point, Juho wondered if he was taking Hyun Do’s time. However, Hyun Do seemed rather interested in what Juho had to say, so backing out was no longer an option. In the end, Juho ended up giving Hyun Do a brief summary of his dream.
“So, Wol was in your dream, huh?” Hyun Do asked, sounding delighted for some reason.
“I read one of his books in the study before going bed. It must’ve stayed with me.”
“Which book?”
“This and that. I read one of Mrs. Baek’s books too. I also came across some first editions that I hadn’t seen before.”
Hyun Do seemed to remember where he kept his books for the most part. Crossing his arms, Hyun Do asked, “What else did you read?”
“The white book,” Juho replied honestly. Although he had described it as a book, it was closer to being a manuscript. Then, without hesitation, Juho proceeded to ask, “Mr. Kang wrote that one, didn’t he?”
“So, you recognize it, huh?”
“His style is rather unique.”
“Did you read all of it?” Hyun Do asked calmly.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I felt like I needed to get your permission.”
At that, Hyun Do chuckled quietly and said, “Do you not remember what I said when you first came here?”
“I do.”
“You already have my permission.”
Then, clenching his hands into fists, Juho asked, “When I found the book and realized that it had been written by Mr. Kang, I just couldn’t read on. Besides, I wanted to read it under a better state of mind.”
Then, the young author brought up the question that had been burning in his mind, and Hyun Do waited for Juho to finish calmly and patiently.
“How come Mr. Kang couldn’t finish writing that book?” Juho asked.
“Because he ran out of time,” Hyun Do said briefly. Just as the young author had expected, the white book was Wol Kang’s last work, which was yet to have been released to the public. Juho wouldn’t dare treat it lightly.
“How is it that you have it, Mr. Lim?”
“It was given to me. I was asked to finish it on Wol’s behalf.”
“By whom?”
“Yun Seo.”
“Did she not want to write it herself?”
“It makes her sad,” Hyun Do said, rubbing his temple.
“Did you not finish it for the same reason?”
Hyun Do remained silent that time. While Juho was able to understand, the young author couldn’t empathize with Hyun Do. Lowering his hand, Hyun Do asked, “If you were in my shoes, would you have done it?”
“Yes, I would have.”
“‘I’m me, and a novel is a novel.’ He used to say that all the time. He would’ve led a happy life even if he hadn’t been a writer, but I can’t say the same for myself.”
“What do you mean?” Juho asked. Seeing the manuscript in front of Hyun Do, and his blank sheet of manuscript paper after that, Juho felt small.
“It means that without my writing, I was nobody. Without work, there’s no way to get recognized. At which point, one would be reduced to a pathetic human being. The thought of losing my work makes me feel dreadful because I don’t have any other place where I belong. I wouldn’t have a way to prove myself.”
“That’s not true,” Juho said. He knew for certain that Hyun Do was different from him, which was why he looked up to Hyun Do so much.
“That’s what I used to tell myself.”
The fact that Hyun Do hadn’t finished Wol’s book was proof of that. Knowing that, Juho clenched his lips. After the death of his friend, Hyun Do had started to prioritize his own emotions and make them the source of all his actions. In doing so, Hyun Do was able to abandon the moniker of fellow author and remain Wol’s friend.
“But, you would have written it.”
“Yes, I would have,” Juho said, repeating the same answer.
As Hyun Do looked at the empty sheet of manuscript paper in front of Juho, the young author did the same.
“Do you wanna give it a try?” Hyun Do asked. At that, Juho lowered his head slowly and shook it, saying, “I don’t think I have what it takes.”
“Something tells me you do.”
“You flatter me, Mr. Lim.”
“If Wol had actually finished it, what do you think the book would’ve looked like?”
Juho couldn’t answer that question. He had never met or spoken to Wol, let alone read his book until the end.
“I couldn’t possibly know that, Mr. Lim. Especially when you don’t know the answer yourself.”
Hyun Do remained silent for a little while. Then, when he opened his mouth to speak, the subject took a sudden, different turn.
“I did try,” Hyun Do said, looking out in the distance. “I tried to finish writing the book, but I couldn’t. I was even more inexperienced back then. I didn’t know how to fight the wave of emotions that came over me.”
“Well, I’m sure you could now.”
“But, I won’t,” Hyun Do said, his now white hair blowing in the breeze. Locking eyes with Hyun Do, Juho bit down on his lip.
“I need some time to think.”
To which, Hyun Do nodded and said, “Would you let me know before you leave this place?”
“I will.”
When the house was engulfed in darkness, Juho made his way into the study. That time, it was much easier to take hold of the white book. Taking a deep breath, the young author opened the book, asking himself when the last time he had felt so nervous about reading a book was.
“Mr. Kang’s last book.”
By default, Wol’s books tended to contain hopeful messages. Almost all of his stories had a happy ending, even a gritty book like ‘The Village’ turned into the most humorous and satirical story. Wol’s depiction of poverty had little to do with lack of wealth, and that was what had set him apart as an author.
“Destroyer.”
He was the very first character to appear in the novel. With an appearance similar to Wol’s, the character suffered from aspermia. Often depressed, timid, and struggling with his compulsive personality, Destroyer tended to be hands-off when it came to interpersonal relationships. Even the most trivial things would often become sources of worry and anxiety. On top of that, the character had a wish that he could never share openly with another person, something closer to an impulse.
“I want to do something that I can never undo.”
The character made a living altering and repairing leather items. During his two-decade career, there had never been a single item the character hadn’t been able to repair. However, Destroyer belittled his career. In his mind, things that could be undone or reversed were unstimulating. Similarly, he was turned off by anything of dubious quality. To Destroyer, being unable to distinguish when something was real or not was less than charming. Juho swallowed nervously as the story brought in yet another character. Suffering from a terminal illness, the character came into the shop with a request for a repair. With their encounter, the character caught on to Destroyer’s unspeakable desire.
“Do you know what euthanasia is?”
The protagonist received an irresistible offer, and that was where the story came to an end. Desperate to know what came next and how the story ended, Juho clasped his head. At that moment…
“Makes you desperate, doesn’t it?”
… A voice came from behind him. When Juho looked up and back, he saw Hyun Do standing by the door with his arms crossed. He said, “He died a week after writing that sentence.”
Juho quietly brushed his hand across the last sentence of the book, feeling as though he needed to continue writing immediately. Wol had to have had the next scene in mind before he died.
“I remember asking him how the story ended,” Hyun Do said, approaching the young author and reading the book over his shoulders. “But, he never told me.”
“Why not?”
“He probably wanted to tease me.”
Juho’s mouth parted open at the unfortunate development. Seeing the look on the young author’s face, Hyun Do chuckled.
“Do you think Mrs. Baek would know?” Juho asked.
“He wanted to tease her too.”
Seeing that Juho clearly had a lot to say, Hyun Do nodded and said, “He’s a character.”
As Juho looked up at Hyun Do, a thought occurred to the young author: ‘What if this is a form of lingering attachment?’ The reason Hyun Do had turned the incomplete manuscript into a book had to be because he wanted to see it get made into a book. A book only became a book when it was wanted by another person, and as the only person aside from Yun Seo who knew about the existence of the white book, Hyun Do had to have wanted that manuscript to get made into a proper book at one point. Rather than bringing up his thoughts, Juho remained quiet.
“So, what did you think?” Hyun Do asked, sounding somewhat excited.
Rubbing his eyebrows, Juho replied, “I thought the intro was very unlike him.”
“It is rather heavy.”
Among Wol’s bibliography, there was no other book that was as dark as the white book. Yet, upon reading it, Juho couldn’t contain his excitement in experiencing Wol Kang’s unreleased book.
“I thought I’d never get to meet him, but something makes me feel like he’s back from the dead.”
“Do you think you’d be able to do it?”
“I don’t know. I’m not gonna lie, it is intimidating,” Juho said honestly. Every sentence was exuding with Wol’s presence, and picking up where the novel had left off on his behalf was bound to introduce inconsistencies. It seemed impossible to become one with his writing, and the sentences also gave off the impression that it didn’t want to be tampered with. On top of that, Juho couldn’t get a grasp of the direction of the story. No matter from which angle he looked at it, it seemed to him like Hyun Do or Yun Seo would be the only people capable of finishing the book.
“I don’t think I can do it,” Juho said. However, pretending not to have heard it, Hyun Do turned around and said, “There’s time, so think through it some more. One tends to be their most emotional self immediately after reading a book.”
Left alone in the study, Juho remained there, not moving a muscle for quite a while.
“I’d be lying if I said that I’m not tempted.”
Then, setting the white book aside, Juho took out every single book that bore the name Wol Kang on it.
“Are you planning on going back to the study?” Hyun Do asked after calling him out.
To which, Juho responded with an awkward smile, “Probably. I had the sudden urge to read through Mr. Kang’s entire bibliography.”
With a nonchalant look on his face, Hyun Do revised his manuscript while the young author immersed himself in reading. Reading both Wol’s writing and Hyun Do’s writing, which was close to completion by that point, Juho was awash by a wave of irresistible emotions.
“This is no joke,” Juho said, looking out into the ocean at night and sighing deeply. As the sound of waves breaking in the distance, he felt his feet sinking deeper into the sand. The water was completely engulfed by the dark by that point, which had an uncanny resemblance to the white book. After getting out of the water, Juho shook the sand out of his shoes. Breathing in the night air, Juho felt slightly more at ease. Smelling roasted clams in the air, he sat on the safety rail and looked out into the ocean.
“There you are.”
“Hey, Mr. Lim.”
“I was looking for you.”
When Juho checked the time, he realized that it was quite late. Then, remembering that he had walked out without telling Hyun Do, a look of regret appeared on the young author’s face. Catching on to that, Hyun Do said, “Sometimes, I come out to the beach at night too.”
Engulfed by the dark, the water was completely black. Juho looked at the people walking on the beach while enjoying the unique atmosphere of the beach at night. Sighing, Juho said, “Whenever I see you write, I also find myself getting anxious to write.”
“Isn’t that what you did?”
“It’s still not enough. My hands are still itching to write, and I just can’t seem to feel satisfied by what I write.”
Chuckling quietly, Hyun Do sad, “You know, Wol had that exact same look on his face.”
“Is that why you suggested I pick up where he left off?” Juho asked.
“No, not necessarily,” Hyun Do replied.
“Then, what was your reason?”
Leaning against the safety rail, Hyun Do said, “You were running toward the water.”
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