Chapter 660: Words I Want To Say

I ate the butterfly.

I’ll spare you guys from the details.

Actually, it wasn’t that bad. If I could use one sentence to describe it, it would be “crunchy and tastes like chicken”.

I used $500,000 to fill my stomach, so shouldn’t I also rise in the upper class.

I felt a boost of strength after using Grylls’ survival method. It doesn’t matter if I already digested the butterfly or not, but I felt I could try to escape again.

But I gave up on the idea three seconds later.

Because I felt a strong pain in my chest.

My heart… was beating so intensely at a frequency that exceeded its limits that it was literally beating out of my chest cavity.

All the blood was concentrated there as if to emphasize that it was the most important organ in the body.

Now, that organ, was about to burst.

Or at least that’s how I felt.

I don’t have any heart troubles, but why do I feel like this after eating the butterfly?

Don’t tell me the butterfly has poison? I never heard of Brazilian butterfly having poison?

First, I was bitten by a poisonous snake and now I ate a poisonous butterfly. Am I being punished because I’ve had too much luck with women recently?

I leaned against the walls and clenched my teeth to try and slow my heartbeat.

“Namo Amitābha… I control my own fate… cabbage, tofu, and rice…”

I recited a mantra hoping it cold calm me down.

It’s terrifying feeling your blood entering your heart and then being violently expelled.

It was like there’s a crazy drummer pounding on my heart with drumsticks.

It was the closest I had come to death. I even thought that my whole body was dead, except for my beating heart.

As it turned out, I survived, or at least for the time being.

My heart gradually returned to its normal heart rate. I actually exhausted more calories than I consumed. If I had known, I wouldn’t have eaten the butterfly.

It was a $500,000 poison! I almost died! It’s a good thing I don’t have heart troubles or I would have died.

The pain from the bite on my left ankle was still there, but I’m thankful it’s not getting worse.

Not good, this time I don’t even have any more strength to stand up.

My hot sweat slid across my chest and it also took away heat from my body. I actually began shivering from the cold on a hot summer day.

I picked up my phone with my stiff fingers. The time on the phone showed that I had been trapped in this trap for more than 12 hours, so counting the time I was unconscious, it was now the next morning.

Still no signal at all.

Undeterred, I dialed all the numbers in my contacts one by one, but none of them connected.

I finally felt like there was no hope left for me.

My body was feeling exhausted and dried up. I might be able to fool others, but I can’t fool myself.

I might end up starving to death.

Or, the wound on my leg deteriorates which causes my death. I must have been bitten by a venomous snake. Even if the poison isn’t strong, it’s still enough of a burden to cause my death.

What’s more, the tachycardia caused by eating the butterfly did not just occur once, but two or three times even though it was less severe, but that was probably because I was already exhausted.

The class leader may have mobilized our classmates to form a search party on Cui Song Mountain after she realized I was missing and couldn’t reach my cell phone… but I wasn’t on Cui Song Mountain. I had entered into the dangerous unknown mountain next to it and only the gangsters who were chasing me knew about it.

Ironically, my hope of being rescued was all placed on those gangsters.

But this place was dark and dangerous, there are also many poisonous insects and beasts, and it is easy to get lost. Even if they are desperately looking for me to get the butterfly, will they really find me?

Will I die from the tachycardia the butterfly gave me before they find me?

I picked up my phone for the last time with those thoughts in mind. As I was scrolling through my contacts, I saw the names of Xiao Qin, the class leader, Ai Mi, and dad.

I couldn’t even talk to them at this time.

I suddenly realized that the class leader said I was not a good person when she heard that I was also going to catch the butterfly today, but what exactly did she mean.

I thought she was referring to how I treated her last night, but in the context of the last two days, what she was trying to say was that family and friends should spend more time with each other rather than just making money, or even doing dangerous things to make money.

“So, I’m really not a good person…” I covered my belly and laughed bitterly because the half million dollars had turned into calories and came out of my body again as sweat.

I saw the factory pre-installed notepad app on my phone. I rarely use it, but at this time, I suddenly wanted to use it once.

Maybe it was because I remembered the class leader’s habit of keeping a diary.

Except for my heart, which was still warm, all four of my limbs were ice cold. I started to write down my diary for today with trembling fingers.

It was a diary entry that was kind of like a will.

First, I would like to do thank my dad for raising me for 14 years. Although I would prefer him to return to the university, but even as a Taobao store owner selling adult products and a porn commentator for the HHH club, I still treat him as my idol. His absurd life cannot hide his kindness and perseverance.

“Dad, you deserve a better life, let go of the past.”

“Take good care of the child in Auntie Ren’s belly, don’t be too sad about losing me. If it’s a boy, give him the same name as me, and transfer the love you have for me to him as well.”

I guess it’s true the words of a man on his deathbed comes from his heart. I didn’t even know I could say something so corny to my dad.

I didn’t tell dad to be nice to Xiao Qin after he married Auntie Ren because I don’t think my kind-hearted dad needed to be reminded.

He did not show any hostility to even Ai Mi, the daughter Ai ShuQiao had with the person she ran off with, let alone Xiao Qin, who he grew up watching.

Next, I used a lot of space in the diary to make a sincere apology to Ai Mi.

I died so soon after I promised I would take care of her for the rest of her life. It wasn’t even enough time for Ai Mi to heal from her old wounds. I’m not even sure whether if it was good or bad that I appeared in her life.

I wrote a lot of words and told Ai Mi a lot of things, including eating less chips and coke, so she wouldn’t suffer from mouth ulcers again, and other miscellaneous things.

I didn’t tell Ai Mi to “stay strong and brave and live on” in my diary because I felt with Ai Mi’s personality, she would continue on the path she chose.

Ai Mi has already suffered the death of someone she liked before, so she most likely will not die of grief. Instead it would be like what she said before, she would use alcohol to numb herself and live a degenerate life.

Although I don’t want to see her wallow in depression, but there’s nothing I could do when I am no longer in this world.

I finished Ai Mi’s part with these words:

“I’m sorry, your brother could not keep his word. I can’t eat roasted marshmallows with you anymore.”

How embarrassing, my eyes actually watered up.

Naturally, I also left a note for the class leader, the person who inspired me to write this diary.

The note was quite formal, unlike the note for my dad and Ai Mi, where there was a lot of emotion mixed in the message. It probably had to do with how the class leader was also a more serious person.

“Class leader, I hope you can become fulfilling your wish of becoming a police officer. Be careful when going against criminals, they are much more dangerous than me.”

“Um, even though I’m gone, I at least fulfilled my promise to you and didn’t become a criminal, right?”

The class leader was a very strong and independent woman. Even when she encounters bumps in her life, I believe she will face them bravely and move steadfastly towards her goals.

Who am I to her? A rotten apple she wants to save? A hooligan who once saved her but also caused her a lot of trouble? Or someone she will occasionally think about sadly deep in the night after she finishes a busy day of work?

I might be overthinking. There’s a lot I wanted to say, but I didn’t write it down. Between the class leader and I, there’s often more left unsaid than said, it’s a habit that’s hard to change even at my final moment.

At the end of the note to the class leader, I warned Shu Zhe:

“Treat your sister well, or I won’t let you go even if I become a ghost.”

I also lied to him and said that those shameful things of yours (referring to the nude photos I took of Shu Zhe after he was stripped naked by the Five Tigers), were given to Eunuch Cao to take care of and if he was caught taking advantage of his sister again, he would become famous online.

The class leader would also see the note, so I was both warning Shu Zhe while telling the class leader to be careful of her brother.

I felt that I should also say a couple of words to Winnie, who aspires to be Ai Mi’s bodyguard in the future.

“It’s been fun and relaxing to play with you. You’re a good friend who is very loyal. I hope you can always be Ai Mi’s good friend too, but I can tell you now: Ai Mi is my biological sister, so since we were brothers (BFFs) , take good care of her for me. If there is anything you don’t understand, you can ask Peng TouSi for help.”

“Also, don’t be too sad, I wish you can become a god at LOL. I can’t play with you anymore because I’m waiting to be revived.”

I also mentioned some other people, including Auntie Ren, Bro Gang, Captain Guo SongTao, Shen ShaoYi, and even Director Cao and his son, but I’m not going to go into detail.

Xiao Qin was left for last, mainly because I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to Xiao Qin.

I could feel that without me, Xiao Qin will not live alone in this world.

What should I say to a girl like that?

My heart hurts. Is it the toxic effect of the butterfly, or is it something else?

How much longer will I live, what should I write for Xiao Qin?

I don’t even know what kind of person Xiao Qin is to me, or what kind of person I am to her.

“Xiao Qin, do you really believe in a fairy tale world?”

I began my final farewell to Xiao Qin with a question.

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