Chapter 620 - Lighting the Lanterns

Wen Xian gently caressed the pair of jade pendants that had been pieced together, as if he imagined that he was caressing Ye’er’s face. It felt so familiar.

He spoke through his tears as the corners of his lips slowly bloomed into a bittersweet smile, “I still remember that the first time I saw Ye’er. She was wearing a set of blue robes embroidered with lovely jasmine flowers. Her hair was tied in two playful plaits that swung back and forth in front of her chest, and her refreshing face had a breezy smile. With one look, I determined that I, Wen Xian, would only be with her in this lifetime.

“The heavens were kind and allowed our fates to entwine. She said that she liked this jade pendant, so I had it cut into two and gave one half to her. I will never forget how happily she smiled when she held that jade pendant. Then, I swore to take care of her for a lifetime, but in the end… I wasn’t able to give her that lifetime.” His smile slowly grew taut.

Ji Yunshu asked, “Just what happened then to make you leave her?”

He let out a bitter laugh and wrapped his fingers tightly around that jade pendant. At this time, the wind started to pick up and the calm surface of the lake broke into tiny ripples. “Since young, I’ve always depended on taking medicines to sustain my health. If I stopped taking them, I could die at any time.”

He paused for a moment, then continued, “When Ye’er told me that she was pregnant, I was happier than anyone. However, the physician suddenly told me that I wouldn’t be able to live for much longer than a year. That’s why I chose to leave. I’d rather she hate me for life than spend that time missing me. I didn’t expect that my illness would suddenly take a turn for the better two years later. At first, I couldn’t find the courage to go back and look for her. I hesitated and debated for a long time before I finally decided to meet her. I never expected that she would choose to forgive me, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life making it up to her and our child.

“Unfortunately, the heavens make fools of us all. One day, she actually found out about the secret of the disaster relief funds. No matter how I tried to explain it to her, she refused to listen. I remember that it was raining cats and dogs that day; she paid it no heed and ran away, drenched. I just couldn’t do anything to stop her. The next day I went to look for her. As I waited in the room, I heard her come in with a man, so I hid myself. I didn’t expect that she would want to tell this man about the disaster relief funds. Before she could say it, I knocked that man unconscious. I expect that you know what happened next.” This entire affair was convoluted indeed!

Ji Yunshu kept silent.

Wen Xian blamed himself, “If I didn’t leave then, she wouldn’t have died. I wronged her so badly. I thought I could love her and take care of her for a lifetime, but instead, I owe her for a lifetime.”

“I believe that Ye’er will not hate you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Committed to this gentleman I admire,” she recited a line from a poem. “This poem was written on the lanterns that Ye’er gave you. As she said, ‘committed to this gentleman I admire’, to dedicate everything to their loved one, to never only care for surface niceties. For as long as you are here, she would love you. I think that the reason why she wanted to report the matter to the yamen, is not because she didn’t love you or was disappointed in you; it was exactly because she loved you that she didn’t want you to continue making mistakes time and yet again.” [1]

Wen Xian’s eyes were shot through with red, and felt like thousands of ants were gnawing at his inner organs. He felt nothing but pain.

Ji Yunshu continued, “Miss Ye’er’s love for you had never diminished one whit. If she saw your current state from the heavens, she would truly be upset.”

After a long silence, Wen Xian replied, “Many thanks, Teacher Ji.” That stubborn knot that had rested for so long in his heart seemed to gradually loosen and be released. It was as if he had finally put down a giant boulder.

“Why don’t you fetch the child back to live with you? I hear that child is adorably white and chubby. Since his mother is no longer around, as his father, you must not abandon him as well.” [2]

“Mn, I will, but not right now.” He nodded resolutely. The two of them looked at each other and smiled.

At that tranquil little lake surrounded by mountains, two figures stood by the shore. As the sun slowly slipped below the horizon, their two shadows also slowly grew longer...

That evening, Wen Xian sat in his own courtyard, with his dizi by his left and a pot of wine by his right. He sat there and drank by himself for a long time, until not a single drop of wine was left in that pot. He still hadn’t had his fill of the wine, so he wanted to summon a servant to bring more wine. Before he could open his mouth, two pots of wine landed on the table.

He lifted his head to take a look and saw Zhao Huai in front of him. Zhao Huai plopped down on a chair beside him, removed their caps, and pushed one of the pots towards Wen Xian. Wen Xian peered at him through narrowed eyes, his hands involuntarily clenched into fists. When he saw that, Zhao Huai commented in a loud, gruff voice, “If you feel that you haven’t fought enough, we can continue.” It’s not like he’s scared of him anyway!

Conversely, his words made Wen Xian’s clenched fists loosen. He glared at Zhao Huai for a moment before he lifted the pot in front of him and started drinking again. As the wine slid down his throat, his whole body started to relax. He told Zhao Huai, “Don’t think that our grudge between us is over. I will avenge Lin Feng eventually, but not today...”

“Alright, I’ll wait.” The two of them clinked their cups together in a toast.

Men are just like that; the minute they finish fighting, they can even sit down to continue drinking. Without noticing it, the two pots of wine quickly emptied.

“Elder brother.” Little Xiyue’s voice drifted in from outside the courtyard. In her hand, she carried a lantern decorated with Zisang flowers.

When Wen Xian saw it, he froze for a moment before he narrowed his bleary eyes and asked, “Xiyue, what’s this lantern?”

“I made this for Elder Brother! Elder Brother, you haven’t had lanterns in your room for a very long time now. Didn’t you always like this kind of lanterns? Yesterday I made one and specially brought it for you!”

He turned his head to look at his own room. He shrugged and smiled bitterly, “That’s right, I haven’t had a lit lantern in my room for so long that I’ve almost forgotten what things are in my room.”

Little Xiyue continued looking at him with wide eyes. He supported his swaying body with one arm and took the lantern from Little Xiyue’s hands. He then walked towards his pitch-black room. He took out the candle from within that lantern, and slowly lit all the candles in his room, one by one.

The room that had remained dark for several years finally lit up again, the candlelight radiating brightly throughout. He stood in the middle of that room and made a small circuit around it. He looked at the colorful lanterns with the vivid Zisang flowers on it almost blooming to life. It was so real that it felt exactly as the first time he saw Ye’er’s refreshing smile.

Now, he had finally let go. Ye’er, if there really is a next life, I swear, even if I only had a day left to live, I would choose to spend it together with you, until the moment I take my very last breath.

[1] I'm not crying, it's the ninjas again.

[2] Aru: NOW you finally think of the kid!

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