Chapter 173 Disheartening Topic

"This test of time will be beneficial for you two," Li Chenyang pointed out, though he couldn't bring himself to support this idea. 

Li Chenyang was fearful of the heartbreak she would face in Hanjian if she chose to go with Yu Zhen, but he was also fearful of the heartbreak she would feel in Wuyi if she remained. To be far away from Yu Zhen without any proper means of communication except the occasional letter or two was a bleak thing to imagine for this pair of lovers.

Long-distance relationships were always difficult.

With the disheartening topic, the room suddenly felt suffocating. 

Li Xueyue shifted her gaze to the locked window. Absentmindedly, she wandered towards it, unlocked it, and pushed it open to peer outside. A cool, refreshing breeze whirled past her, calming her uneasy nerves. She leaned out of the window to peer up at the cloudless night and star-speckled sky.

Li Chenyang silently watched over her as she basked in the moonlight. Glowing in an ethereal manner, she resembled a fairy who had descended from the heavens but suddenly missed home.

"If you didn't have the Bai Family holding you back and you didn't have to worry about us, would you take a leap of faith for him?" Li Chenyang asked.

Li Xueyue shifted her upper body backward so that she could meet his gaze. In a quiet tone, she muttered, "I would." 

Her voice was mellow and soft, the sound so light, it was almost carried away by the wind. 

Li Chenyang knew this would be her response. He didn't even have to ask. People were fools for love and the rare handful who were willing to sacrifice it all would do so in a heartbeat. 

Li Xueyue knew she was foolish. She was tricked by love before in the form of Zheng Leiyu, but she didn't hesitate to answer Li Chenyang. She thought her heart would never heal from Zheng Leiyu's betrayals, and that no one in this world would be able to convince her of otherwise, but perhaps it was because no one ever came close to Yu Zhen's presence in her life.

Zheng Leiyu smiled at the expense of her happiness, but Yu Zhen smiled to make her happy. 

- - - - -

After a brief discussion to confirm the details of their plans, the siblings parted ways. They decided that Li Chenyang would be the one to safekeep the scrolls since he had more secret hiding places. 

Meanwhile, Li Xueyue retired to her room. In utter exhaustion, she collapsed onto her bed without paying attention to the hairpins and make-up that she needed to remove. 

Li Xueyue was too lethargic to move another finger. "What a long day," she sighed, her shoulders sagged in relief when she melted into her comfortable bed, but her restless heart was beginning to weigh her down.

What if Li Chenyang's predictions were true…? What if Yu Zhen would never come back to fetch her from Wuyi? What if he suddenly decided that the women in Hanjian were more beneficial to him? There were plenty he could choose from.

"Stop thinking these stupid thoughts!" Li Xueyue groaned, shifting her body on the bed. Her thoughts spiralled down the rabbit hole and conjured up the worst scenarios possible until she terrified herself too much to have a restful night.

And that was exactly what happened. Lying motionless on the bed, Li Xueyue had finally drifted off to sleep, but this time, her mind was plagued with one of her worst nightmares.

- - - - -

Three years ago.

"I'm hungry…" Bai Xueyue mumbled to herself. She was huddled in the corner of her bedroom that was smaller than the servants' living quarters.

Bai Xueyue didn't know why, but she always found the corner of this bedroom to be the most comforting spot for her. Perhaps it was because this cramped corner pressing against her shoulder felt like the gentle hands of a mother hugging her.

Bai Xueyue placed a hand on her stomach, flat and never full. She hugged it, cringing when her legs nearly gave out from under her. How long was she in this position for? She had fallen asleep here, instead of the decently-sized bed. She couldn't even tell whether it was the early morning or late at night. 

She had accidentally talked back to Viscount Bai Sheng in regard to her meals and as a result, he had banished her to her room for three days without food. He had left her in isolation, going as far as hammering wooden boards over her windows to seal her in.

"Starvation is the least of my worries…" she told herself, deciding that at least she was given water to drink, even if it tasted funny and random bits of food could be found at the bottom of the small bowl.

Bai Xueyue hesitantly made her way to the doors of her bedroom. "What if…" she whispered, placing a hand on the knob and twisting it. To her surprise, the door wasn't locked.

Standing there dumbfounded, she wondered if it was because one of the servants forgot to lock it up after giving her the smallest ration of water for the day. She nervously licked her cracked lips, but she was so parched that her tongue didn't do much to soothe her lips.

Bai Xueyue nervously wandered down the dark hallways. "It's night time," she said to herself, her heart leaping. If it was nighttime, then she could at least sneak into the storage room. If she was lucky, she'd find a piece of stale bread in there. Even a raw vegetable like a carrot would satisfy her hunger.

She walked for a while before hearing a loud commotion down the hallways. Bai Xueyue jumped out of fear, her eyes widening. There was a room down the hallways that was brightly lit. 

Bai Xueyue looked at her surroundings. She was just a short distance away from the kitchen and storage rooms.

"I-I should head back," she whispered, taking hesitant steps backward.

Her stomach loudly grumbled in protest. Bai Xueyue let out a quiet groan as a spark of pain shot through her body. 

"Maybe if I run past really quickly, they won't see me," she whispered to herself.

Bai Xueyue had already ventured this far. It would be too late for her to head back to her room. All of her hard work would go to waste if she gave up here.

Mustering her courage, she ventured onwards. 

"Just a little bit more…" she mumbled, swallowing hard as she picked up her ragged hanfu and prepared herself to dash past the room as fast as she could.

"Hey—what was that—" a voice spoke up upon hearing the loud thuds of footsteps scampering past the doors.

The door was instantly slammed open and Bai Xueyue turned her head, eyes widened in horror when she saw the person who stepped out. It was none other than Viscount Bai Sheng.

She jumped in fear. He had seen her. Before he or anyone else in the room could speak up, she continued running. The only problem was, she didn't look at where she was running.

Bai Xueyue ran into something. She fell backwards in horror and shock, landing right on her butt. 

"My, my, what do we have here?" a voice commented in front of her.

Bai Xueyue looked up in confusion, her eyes widened at the sight of the stranger in front of her. She had never seen this person before. Despite that, she still felt an angsty tug in her gut. This person was up to no good.

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