Flannery's words cut like daggers. Daggers into the soft flesh of a pudgy director mayhaps? It was time to do some digging into this psycho fan's cranium, but I had to be careful. Fanfiction writers were notoriously temperamental, especially if you questioned the storyline in their head."

"So, Miss Flan," I said, leaning on the table. "Mind if I speak with you about this case. You were there after all!"

Flannery retained her composure, which again, for someone who could have been in a Stephen Prince novel breaking someone's legs, this was a miraculous feat. "So were a hundredth other Mina fans and cosplayersth and you are going to accuse me of thomething? I believe you are profiling me, Mr. Lockwood…"

I opened my mouth, but I wasn't quick enough for her fast yapper. "And another thing. Raven Lockwoodth, you were always my least favorite character in the story of Legally Brunette. You're just a retread of Archibald the Majester from the Rotund Royal and Archibell the Sea Captain from Burglar of the Ocean. You're hardly original and your confusing amnesia plotline was just there to add intrigue to Mina's otherwise pathetic lifeth! But at least she hasth one. You need to get one!"

That was cold. Really cold. Colder than beer at a cooler in a dry ice factory in the Arctic. It was one thing to question my relevance to the plotline of Legally Brunette, but another to call a handsome and highly original fellow like me a retread. But let's not get too meta here, I had a case to solve.

"Look Flannery, I'm not going to profile you for anything other than being overly judgemental of my character. But please, where were you on the night of the murder!"

Flannery lifted her E-Phone which was covered in stickers of obnoxious smiling demons of Hazmat Motel and clicked it on. There was an entry on fiction website Regal Lane entitled: Mina's last case.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

I started to scroll through it. It was long and deeply unpleasant, entailing the case where Mina was accused of butchering the director and her fangirl's undying love. Not only was I portrayed as incompetent, but the judge even revoked both our lawyer badges, kicked us to the curb and the gorgeous fan fiction writer Flannery got to marry Blind Justice and Ashley O'Ryan while poor Mina was locked in prison and I had to spend the rest of my life as a homeless ex lawyer with a silver beard down to the ground, begging for change and never appearing in any stories ever again. It was beyond rude, and the descriptions were over the top!

"Ok," I growled. "I read your dumb and highly fictional story. What was the point!"

Flannery scrolled to the time it was posted. The exact time of the murder!

I was caught like a chest hairball in a middle aged, hairy Italian man's shower. She had an alibi.

"As you seeth, you stupid mentor character," Flan said. "I couldn't have done this. There's no way I could chop someone up like a gratuitous horror movie and post on Regal Lane at the same time."

I rubbed my goatee and collected my thoughts. Flan, however, was through with me. "If you excuse me," she said. "I have a vigorous wedding to write with William Blind Justice and Ashley O'Ryan where they will proclaim their undying love to me and denounce Mina Hawkins once and for all. And I'll get a millionth viewths and have the top fiction on there!"

I glared back at her with my eagle-eyes. "Yeah, under satire! Because nobody would ever take that fiction seriously. I'll prove it to you, Miss Flannery."

Before she could leave, I headed to the door and held my hand out. "Good day to you, ma'am! And don't let any bad comments hit you on the way out!"

Flannery turned up her nose and marched out, lisping all the way home. "An uncultured bird like you would never understand my fiction. And I'm setting my next chapter to publish at the very moment Mina gets a guilty verdict!"

As she slammed the door, Chief O'Law looked at me, her eyes wide open on her otherwise frozen face. "That child needs to go outside more," said the ever blunt ladycop. "She thinks life is a steamy fanfiction."

Truer words had never been said.

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