Chapter 82 - The Foul-Mouthed Little Parrot
“Demon Sovereign, where are you taking This Empress?”
In the ascending elevator, Long Yue asked Lin Fan beside her, confused.
After she had mentioned finding a bird that could speak human words, the Demon Sovereign, without a second word, had taken her out, and they had taken a taxi all the way to this apartment building.
“Empress, didn't you say you wanted to see a bird that could speak human words?”
“I remember that Ah Zhai has one. He happens to be home, so I'll take you to see it, and then you'll understand.”
“This so-called 'speaking bird' is just the result of human training; it hasn't had its intelligence awakened by spiritual power, nor has it comprehended speech on its own.”
“Human training…?”
Long Yue was greatly surprised.
In her understanding, birds and beasts were born stupid and could only learn to think and speak like humans by having their intelligence awakened by spiritual power. She had never heard of an animal that could learn to speak through human training alone, without relying on spiritual power!
Ding-dong.
The elevator arrived, and the doors slowly opened to both sides.
Lin Fan led Long Yue straight to an apartment door and knocked lightly.
“Ah Zhai.”
“Coming.”
Lu Zhai's reply came from within the room. The sound of footsteps approached from inside, and the next second, with a click, the door was opened.
“Brother Fan, sister-in-law, you're here.”
“The place is a bit messy, don't mind.”
Lu Zhai opened the door, stepped aside, and greeted them with an embarrassed look.
He lived alone and was quite casual. He usually only cleaned every once in a while. When he suddenly received the message that Lin Fan was bringing Long Yue over, he didn't have time to tidy up.
Lin Fan and Long Yue walked into the apartment and were immediately greeted by the sight of a messy and disorganized living room.
Pillows were scattered on the living room floor. On the TV stand, besides a large television, were a messily placed PS5, a Switch, various handheld game consoles, and even an ancient Subor game console.
Game controllers connected to the TV were placed haphazardly under the stand, and various game discs were scattered everywhere under the sofa and table.
On either side of the television stood a large display cabinet.
One was a glass cabinet, filled with the 'waifu' figures he had painstakingly collected over the years, including many animal girls in sexy and seductive poses.
The other was a bookshelf and game rack, filled with all sorts of game discs and collected novels.
The walls were covered with posters of various cute animal girls. The entire room was steeped in a thick otaku atmosphere.
“Hiss, so perver— mmph mmph...”
Seeing this scene, Long Yue couldn't help but suck in a sharp breath. She was about to blurt out the word 'pervert,' but luckily, Lin Fan quickly covered her mouth and reminded her:
“Empress, we're guests in someone else's home right now…”
Hearing this, Long Yue nodded and silently swallowed her words back down.
To be a guest in someone's home and call them a pervert... that would indeed be too rude…
“Brother Fan, sister-in-law, why the sudden visit? Is something up?”
Lu Zhai quickly tidied up the living room a little, then invited the two of them to sit down.
“It's nothing much, your sister-in-law just wants to see your bird,” Lin Fan said as he sat down.
“Oh, so it's just that. It's a good thing you came two days earlier. In another two days, I was planning on getting rid of that bird.”
“Why get rid of it? Haven't you had it for a long time?”
Lin Fan asked with confusion.
Long Yue also turned her head curiously to look at Lu Zhai.
“Hmm… I'll go get it. You'll understand in a moment.”
Lu Zhai looked like he had a lot to say but didn't know where to start. He turned, went into another room, and came out carrying a birdcage.
Inside the cage, a small, yellow and white cockatiel stood on a perch. It was adorned with two cheek patches, making it look especially cute.
“This little bird is quite cute. Tsk tsk tsk~”
Long Yue was instantly attracted by the cockatiel's cute appearance. She leaned close to the cage and moved her fingers, wanting to play with it.
The next second, the cockatiel opened its beak:
“Dumbass.”
Long Yue: “…(⊙_⊙)”
Lin Fan: “…”
Lu Zhai: “…”
Just two short words, and all three of them fell silent.
Long Yue blinked her eyes blankly, falling deep into self-doubt.
Did she... just get cursed out by a bird...?
This... this was the first time in her thousand-plus-year life that she had ever been cursed out by a bird!
Being sworn at by the mortals of this world was one thing, but now she was being humiliated by a bird!
“Sorry, sister-in-law, this bird is just... like this...”
“Ever since I took it from its previous owner, I've been trying to teach it to talk, but it won't learn anything else. All it knows is how to curse at people.”
Lu Zhai apologized to Long Yue, then opened the cage, took the parrot into his palm, and scolded it:
“No swearing! Quick, say hello.”
“Hello your mother”
The cockatiel craned its neck and squawked.
Lin Fan: “…”
Long Yue: “…”
The sudden mother-related greeting once again rendered both Lin Fan and Long Yue completely silent.
How is this little bird's mouth so sweet...
“See? You see?”
Lu Zhai had a helpless expression.
He had heard that this bird was very eloquent, could talk better than a normal cockatiel, and learned to speak quickly, which is why he had bought it for a high price.
But after he got it, he discovered that while it did learn quickly, it was limited to learning swear words.
He had tried to teach it other words for over two years, but couldn't get it to learn a single one.
On the other hand, an occasional swear word he let slip unintentionally—it would pick that up after hearing it just once!
Aren't cockatiels supposed to be gentle and affectionate? How come his is completely different…
“The fact that it can talk so well, does that also mean it's actually quite smart?”
Long Yue leaned close to the cockatiel again, thinking about it from another angle.
A bird this smart... could it have undergone a baptism of spiritual power, and thus gained the wisdom to curse at people?
Lin Fan knew what she was thinking and began to explain:
“Parrots are a relatively intelligent type of bird to begin with. Their ability to speak is mostly learned through long-term training or by picking it up from their environment. They usually only know a few simple words. It has nothing to do with what you're thinking.”
“Does it really only know a few simple words?”
Unwilling to give up, Long Yue looked seriously at the cockatiel and tried to greet it:
“Can you understand what I'm saying? If you can, answer me.”
“Dumbass.”
The cockatiel sized up Long Yue and once again replied cordially with a clear and articulate accent.
Long Yue had black lines down her face, greatly disappointed.
It seems this stupid bird really only knows these few phrases...
A normal bird or beast that had its intelligence awakened through a baptism of spiritual power would have a high level of wisdom, even if it couldn't speak.
From this bird's eyes, she did not see that kind of intelligent gaze.
It seems the Demon Sovereign was telling the truth. The fact that parrots can talk has nothing to do with spiritual power…
Her search for a way to restore her spiritual power was shattered once again.
“I'm not planning on keeping this bird anymore. If you guys want it, I'll give it to you.”
Lu Zhai held out the parrot in his hand toward Lin Fan and Long Yue with a look of disgust.
He had raised it for over two years, and it knew nothing except how to curse. He had already decided to give up on it.
Looking at the cockatiel before them, both Lin Fan and Long Yue hesitated.
A bird that only knows how to curse at people... is there any point in keeping it...?
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