The warm breeze of the desert blew across my face as I leaned back on the chaise lounge on the balcony off my bedroom. It was nice to finally be somewhere else than my bed. The Caretaker had been clear that I should not exert myself during the healing of my lung if I wanted a faster healing. So I'd stayed mostly in my bed since I had awakened a day and a half ago. This was the first time I felt like I could make the move somewhere else without it causing me to reach for my breathing mask.

In fact, with every treatment, which I got twice a day, I could breathe a little easier. Caretaker Yoshi even said he should be able to clear me for travel in two days' time if the healing kept progressing as it did. I think I was okay with that. The College was a fascinating place, and those who chose to be here even more so. But it was clear when Captain Dexter had visited me yesterday that even though he was apologetic for all that had happened during my stay here, he and the rest of those higher in the Protectorate were eager to have me on my way.

My father was of the same mind. He had called me within an hour of my waking. He had not been happy that my injury was delaying my return to the Palace. He then went into great detail of all the preparations he was making to ensure my return was as safe as possible and also to let me know he'd issued arrest warrants for everyone involved, including an execution order for Pledge Pezeri.

I was surprised at the second revelation and even argued if an execution wasn't a bit extreme since I was alive and well, and according to Caretaker Yoshi, quickly making a full recovery. But as usual, my father didn't really care about my opinion on the matter. So I had ended the conversation with a massive headache and trying not to think too hard about yet another death that was directly linked to me. I still had not even come to terms with Gunther's untimely demise.

Just thinking about the two men made my mood tank considerably, and the feeling of excitement I had at being able to move outside to get some fresh air evaporated quickly. I turned my attention to the view of the College stretched out before me. The morning light bathed the buildings in its fiery glow, and it promised yet another intensely hot day.

"Adar, Cadet Shem is here to see you," Markus said softly as he came out to the balcony from the living area.

I smiled. It had been nice getting to know the man a little more outside of the usual persona he'd first shown me. Markus had spent some time after I'd waken and most of yesterday telling me stories of when we had been children, carefree, and had the run of River Palace. And more than a few times, the man had let his usual emotional barrier slip during his tales, which had allowed me to get to know him on a far deeper level.

It showed me that these weren't just stories to entertain me, but that this man truly cared about me, or at least the person I used to be, and that he looked on our time as children with great fondness. It made me even more eager to get my childhood memories back, but also settled the matter of how much I could trust Markus once and for all. I was excited to know that I had this ready-made friend who was eager to give our friendship another go, and so was I.

I nodded. That's all I needed to do, and Markus turned around to let my guest know. I felt a twist in my gut. I had been eagerly awaiting to see Hotoe, but I confessed I was not sure how this would go, and I was a little more than nervous. I had enjoyed my short time as a Cadet and that I had seemed to make a fast friend in Hotoe, but I didn't like that I had lied to him, and I wasn't sure how he would feel about that.

A moment later, the big man walked out onto the balcony. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he spied me. I immediately received a wave of nervousness from Hotoe, and he stood there for a long while, not moving a muscle. And my heart fell just a little, because I realized in that moment that even though I didn't want it to, our friendship had changed because of my station. I smiled to try to lessen his nervousness and waved a hand for him to come closer.

"Shouldn't you be at morning assembly right now?" In fact, it was early enough that he'd skipped the morning exercises as well.

Hotoe shuffled forward, but he stopped well away from the chair I was reclined on and bowed his head low, and when his head came back up, he didn't meet my eyes. His gaze was fixed firmly on the floor between us.

"I got special permission to come see you, and it was decided it would be during the morning assembly."

"Well, I'm sure you aren't sad about missing Chief Winters belting his not so hidden threats to expel everyone," I said with lightness in my voice to try to get him to settle down. His nervousness had only increased as he'd come closer to me.

There was a ghost of a smile on the other man's lips, but he didn't laugh out loud like I was sure he normally would have. Frustration rose, but then I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised at Hotoe's reaction to me. Dur-rele had lectured me all about the formality of station after all.

"Have a seat?" I gestured to the chaise lounge beside me.

Hotoe looked stricken, like I'd asked him to do something heinous, and I almost wish I hadn't offered. But I decided to double down and reached out to pat the seat of the chair beside me.

"Please, Hotoe. I have something important to say. I won't ask you to stay long if you aren't comfortable here, but I want to have an honest conversation with you, and I can't do that if you are standing there towering over me."

He nodded and moved to the chair, but he only sat on the edge and did not look the least little bit relaxed.

I blew out a long breath and plunged forward with what I'd been practicing in my mind for the last day and a half.

"First, I want to say I am sorry. I do not like that the beginning of our friendship was based on a lie, but I suspect if you had met me as my true self, that we would have never become friends at all. So I suppose in that aspect I am grateful for the lie because it allowed me to get to know you.

"My time here at the College has been turbulent at best, and it was nice to have someone that could travel some of that journey with me. It made things more exciting and made me feel like I was truly a part of something great. I also really appreciate you standing up for me with Gunther, Pezeri, and Wy-lin. I'm not sure how things would have turned out without your interference, but I'm certain they would have killed me outright or taken me elsewhere to do so. So thank you."

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I paused a moment to let my offer of gratitude sink in, but Hotoe still refused to look me directly in the eye. He simply sat there. His back was straight, and his eyes to the floor. My heart sank a little more. I really missed my friend. Was he acting like this because he thought he was supposed to, someone told him to, or because he was angry with me?

I had been listening to pick up a clue from the big guy on any emotions he might be putting out, but I was surprisingly not getting anything but extreme nervousness. I decided to finish up what I had to say and let him go. I did not want to keep making him feel this uncomfortable.

"I know that we have not known each other long, but I do still consider you a friend, Hotoe. I would like to continue our friendship, if you are willing, but I understand if you don't as well."

I wanted to say more, but I wasn't exactly sure what it would take to get him to settle down, and I realized maybe I wasn't going to do so. Maybe the gap between our stations was too much to bridge. Or maybe he was too upset that I had lied to him. I sat back, waiting for him to say something, but he did not. After a long, uncomfortable minute, I spoke up.

"I've said what I need to. You are free to say whatever you like to me. Or if you prefer, you can leave."

Hotoe stood, turned, and started to walk away, but just when I felt like my insides were twisted up in knots, the big man stopped, and turned around. He kept his eyes to the floor as he spoke. "I can say whatever I want?"

"Yes," I reaffirmed.

"And I won't get remediation, no matter what I might say?"

"No. It's just you and me here, Hotoe. Please speak freely. I insist."

Hotoe nodded, and for the first time since he arrived, he looked up, but kept his eyes from fully meeting my own. "When I found out you were the Heir. I was surprised. I could not believe that my friend Jasper was the person the whole College had been looking for. He––you had been beside me the entire time. That bothered me. It made me feel foolish. It made me wonder why I was even here.

"You see, I might not have been entirely honest as to why I enrolled in the Program. You know I have the Endurance Dome-ni. It makes me strong and capable physically, but I tire of only being that. I want to use my mind as well, but because I have Endurance and I am a big man, I am always asked to do the physical tasks and never the mental ones. I came to the College, because to become a Protector it requires mental training as well as physical. I was eager to use my mind.

"You were beside me the entire time, and it did not even register that you could have been more than Jasper Rulock from Frillnax. I thought nothing of it. So maybe I am what I am, and maybe I need to stop trying to be more than that. Maybe I came to the College for the wrong reasons.

"I don't fault you for the ruse, Jas––Highness. You had to do what you needed to keep yourself safe. It was a very smart plan, and I feel honored it was me you chose to talk to and spend time with. And I am very pleased you consider me a friend, as I have you.

"But I was told by Director Shiperii that whatever friendliness I had enjoyed with you when you were masquerading as a Cadet was over, and that you were the Heir and you needed to be treated as such. He even made it sound like my position at the College might be in jeopardy if I did not comply. I like it here, Highness, and even if I came here for the wrong reasons, I still want to make it two years if I can. You understand, don't you?"

I smiled at him to let him know I was glad that he had opened up. "Of course I do, and I would never want to jeopardize your place here, Hotoe. But it pisses me off the Director said that to you. You should be allowed to have friends with whomever you want, and so should I." I blew out an air of frustration as I realized why Hotoe had been so nervous.

The Director actually threatened his position at the College? Why would he do such a thing? I wasn't sure why the Director would do that, but I knew a person who would. Had my father had a conversation with the Director? And as soon as I asked that question, I knew he had.

Dammit all to hell.

Anger soared through me as I considered my father's meddling. But then, had I really expected anything different? It took a long while for me to get my anger back under control, so that I could finish my conversation with Hotoe.

"Do you still want to be my friend? Tell me the truth. Don't worry about what the Director or what anyone else wants, and ignore the fact that , for this moment, I am a member of the Zahn family. Do you wish to be my friend?"

"Yes," the big man said with a firm nod. "I really liked being friends with Jasper Ruloc, and I confess, I think I might like being friends with the Heir even more."

I laughed. There was a twinge in my side, but I ignored it. "Good, then we will be friends, and everyone else can suck it."

Hotoe raised an eyebrow. "Suck it?"

I laughed again. "It's a saying from where I grew up. It means they can get over it or not, but I won't change my mind."

Hotoe looked like he wanted to smile, but I knew what he was thinking about.

"It seems to me the College owes me quite a bit from the hardship I've endured during my stay here. I think allowing one of their Cadets to consort with the Heir from time to time would be only a small penance against that balance. Don't you think?"

I didn't mention my father or what he might think on the matter, but I had already decided that this was something I cared about and I wasn't going to let him bully me into letting go of a relationship that was precious to me. If it became an issue, then I would simply tell him that my introduction back into Ethia would go a lot smoother and my understanding broader if I had contacts at all levels of Ethian society.

That smile he'd been trying to keep in check finally broke free. "It sounds like a fair payment to me, Highness."

I nodded, settling the deal. "Yes, it does, and I will speak with the Director myself on this, but if they give you a hard time about it after I leave, let me know. I'll make sure they get an earful. Oh, and one other thing: if we are to be friends, you can start calling me by my first name. My real first name. Think you can handle that, Cadet Shem?"

Hotoe finally let his eyes meet mine, and I let a large smile cross my face as his dark brown eyes danced with amusement. "I must confess. I never thought I would ever be on a first-name terms with a member of the Imperial Family."

"You'll be the talk of the College."

Hotoe thew back his head and let out one of his bellowing laughs. After a long moment, he stopped and wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. I could feel waves of relief and excitement coming from my friend.

"I already am. I have become an overnight sensation. Everyone wants to shake my hand or buy me a drink for my part in the confrontation in the washroom. They think I am a hero of sorts. Others simply want to ask me questions about you and if I knew who you were the whole time."

A look of embarrassment came over Hotoe, and he looked down and shuffled his feet. "I might have exaggerated a bit on the last part. Of course, I told the Director the truth of the matter, but I may have deviated from that when talking to the others."

I laughed to set him at ease. "You can absolutely tell everyone you were in the know the whole time. I don't mind."

Hotoe looked up with a half-grin. "Are you sure? It's not very honest."

I laughed again. "Do you think they really care about the truth? I think it's a far better story if you were my secret bodyguard. And perhaps you were."

The big man's face blushed at that. He shuffled his feet again, clearly not knowing what else to say. So, I broke the awkward silence with something that had been on my mind since yesterday.

"Unfortunately, I will be leaving in a few days, but I thought that before I go, it would be nice to invite a handful of people here to have dinner with me. It will be an informal affair and a way to show my thanks to those who have helped me since I've come here. I would be honored if you would attend."

Hotoe looked up with an enormous grin. "I would love to."

I nodded. "It's settled then. We will do it during your dinner hour two days from now so you don't have to ask for special permission. Just come straight here after your last class. Plan on spending your free time here too, if you want, of course."

"I will." His grin widened until he looked like a sun beaming down at me, and it warmed my heart greatly.

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