PART III: WORDS OF SELF-CARE

"Arkan?" Callie asked simply.

"Where do you come from?" the Arkan asked bluntly.

Callie almost felt like she'd just taken a foot to the gut as her breath seized up.

"With your memory loss, I know you don't know the answer to that question," Pelidri continued, "but it is very evident from the music you instinctively remember, and all the other strangeness about you, that you are not from any of the three kingdoms. I just can't help but to ponder where possibly your home could be, and how you may have ended up here."

"Any ideas?" Callie asked. She had been just about to tell him to go talk to Xera, as were the Commandant's standing orders, but the Arkan's tone seemed more idle speculation, rather than accusation. She was actually curious as to what theories Pelidri had, and if they might help strengthen the lie she had to always tell people. Callie knew she needed to be careful though, lest she give something away. If this conversation at all started to steer close to the truth, he was getting pointed straight at the officers.

"One interesting idea that's rather outlandish, actually, but quite fascinating. The history goes that after splitting from the Goblins many centuries ago, the Gnomes settled beneath the northern mountains, where they mined rare metals and manastone alongside the Dwarves and Elves. Over time, many began to migrate south to the cities as those rose to prominence, but the Gnomes also speak of ancient clans, or what they call the 'lost tribes.'

"Instead of moving to the cities, these tribes are said to have continued south, and then sailed south across the oceans in great ships powered not by wind, but by magical engines. Your people's Tinker nature taken to extremes it would seem. Some say these explorers perished, as they were never heard from again. But others believe they surely reached those distant shores on the far side of the world."

"Interesting," Callie said. She'd never heard of this, which wasn't really surprising considering how little she actually knew of Gnome culture beyond a few things she'd picked up in passing. "So, what, you think I'm from one of these lost tribes?"

"Are these just old stories? Or are they true?" The Arkan shrugged. "No one really knows, Calllie. But your Artificer, I believe his name is Frizzlebrok, had a thought."

Callie didn't rudely correct him.

"He and I were speaking last night after your wonderful performance." Then he added as an aside, "You brought tears to my own eyes, I should tell you. A simple children's song about a dragon and a boy? My cheeks ended up wet in sorrow. It was silly, fun, and beautiful, Little One."

"Thanks," Callie said, blushing a bit and looking away as she idly kicked a tuft of grass. A few others had mentioned how Puff had choked them up, too.

"As for Frizzlebrok," Pelidri continued, "he wildly theorizes that it could have been a Spire accident that brought you here; perhaps something misaligned or incorrectly controlled. Surely these far off lands would have Spires there, too, so with the great distance and Ohler not high, it could explain your memory loss. Maybe it's a bit outlandish, but it would explain a great many things."

"A … Spire?"

"A teleportation Spire," the Arkan said. Then seeing the confused look on Callie's face, continued, "You don't know what they are, do you."

Callie simply shook her head. Teleportation Spire? Whatever they were, they'd never come up in conversation before. She'd heard that there was a class called an Astralist that practiced portal magic for long-range teleportation, but they were super-rare. Other than that, the only other teleportation she knew of were the relatively short-range things like the Combat Healers, Shul'an, or Artemis could do.

The Arkan looked a little confused for a moment, as if trying to assemble the words. "I don't know a great deal about their workings, but the Spires are sporadically dotted around the kingdoms, most having a town or city growing up around them. They are old and ancient magical devices, some say many thousands of years old, and many no longer function. When powered by Ohler and properly controlled, each Spire is able to transport people and materials from one to another instantly. I have no idea how they actually work, but they generally only function when the Father Moon doesn't set in the sky, so for about two months, before going dormant for six. Some are able to be powered by manastones, and you need a lot of them to do it. I only know of one that can be used this way, though, and that is the one in the Nexus."

"I've never heard about them."

Pelidri simply shrugged. "I've used the Nexus Spire a few times, and it can be quite helpful for travel, They aren't very convenient for mass transportation, though, because the circle, or what they call a 'pad', you must stand in isn't very large, there's only a few weeks before they go dormant again, and recharge times could be measured in hours if the distance is long. Even the Nexus one takes so many manastones as to be effectively useless outside of the times Ohler is high. Most people also don't care for the experience. It can be quite disorienting. Just a warning, don't eat a hearty meal before ever using one."

Callie instantly had ten thousand questions she wanted to ask, and not just wanting to know how they worked. How far could they reach? How much could they move? Who built them? Who were these long ancient people and where did they go? Could one of these be hijacked to send her back to Earth? And then, morbidly, how did you prevent two different ones from arriving at the same place at the same time and the result ending up this gross, merged mass of conjoined bodies? But instead of asking the torrent of those questions, she kept quiet to allow Pelidri to explain this 'theory'.

"Frizzlebrok wonders if maybe you weren't somehow accidentally mis-targeted from a Spire in these far-off lands, arriving here in Imor with most of your memories missing due to the immense distance. Maybe that could even explain your missing memory, or the 'void' that the Colonel mentioned the Scryers found."

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"Huh," Callie said, as if considering the possibility. "That could explain things," she suggestively lied. If not for the actual truth, it seemed like a vaguely plausible explanation, at least.

"But Spires are only able to target another Spire, at least as far as I know, so someone would have had to actually put you into the wagon. It's curious, and forces more questions, but I suppose the Artificer's theory is as good as any other. Perhaps someone simply stumbled upon you lying on the Meadowglade spire pad unconscious, and assumed you had passed out in celebration before joining the other conscripts. I know that Spire no longer functions, even at times of Ohler being high, but maybe it is still able to receive in some manner?"

Then he waved the whole idea away. "Bah, maybe it doesn't matter. You're here now, memories or not, and sometimes you just must accept the way things are and not worry about the why or the how. Speculating about magical theory just makes my head hurt anyway, and I'm not smart enough to puzzle something this complex out."

Then, abruptly changing the subject, he simply said, "Walk with me, Recruit," before starting to move off. Callie noticed he kept his stride politely slow though, so she wouldn't need to race to keep up.

"Recruit Callie," Pelidri said, "regardless of how you arrived here, and what memories you do retain, you should know that you are special. I've heard so many reports, and even seen over and over again in just a few days, how you overcome and even excel, both in and out of combat situations. Even last night, thrust without warning into what was effectively musical combat, you simply accepted the task, worked the threat, and eventually emerged victorious. The Imorian Army is lucky to have you."

"Th-Thank you?" Callie said a little hesitantly.

"In speaking with your Commandant, and the others, it appears they may have plans for you," Pelidri continued. "This is good, as it would be folly to not take advantage of your capabilities and instincts. But I also wanted to give you a warning. Not as an officer, but as someone who has fallen victim in the past to praise and high expectations. Make sure you take care of yourself!"

Callie was about to ask what plans he was talking about, then frowned as the rest of his words played out. "I don't understand," she said instead.

"War takes a toll, Callie, but not just on your body. Responsibility takes a toll, too. When thrust into leadership roles, it is very easy to lose sight of what that is doing to you as you focus on your people and the mission. Just remember, as much as you may want to please your superiors, keep your mind healthy too. Know your limits and recognize when you've reached them. Don't be so stubborn as to not seek out Listeners if you need to, because if a leader cannot think clearly, then things can go very bad very quickly. Your Major is here because she needed a break for that very reason, if only to maintain her sanity. There's no shame in doing the same."

Pelidri's words confused Callie a bit, but she recognized they were important. Hearing him add the info about Celeste made her curious too. Was the Major possibly suffering from some PTSD-like issues? That's a little what it sounded like, at least. Callie didn't see any signs of it, but then again, she really didn't know what to look for.

The Arkan sighed. "I made that mistake, after Rorei died. I rejoined the army, I'm sure to mete out revenge, and pushed myself harder and longer than I should have. I ignored my own instincts to care for myself; to take time and clear my head. My leadership faltered, and that resulted in some terrible losses among those I was responsible for. They gave me a medal for what happened that day, and we did indeed score a decisive victory, but the price was so very high, and I still blame myself for paying it." He smiled, a warm smile. "Take care of yourself, so you can take care of your people."

While the advice seemed strange, it was certainly heartfelt, and even more-certainly, it was good advice, but it seemed to have come out of nowhere. Why was he telling her this? He mentioned that Xera had plans for her, and Natala had even jokingly gone on a few times about making a sergeant out of her. This was the first time really hearing some kind of confirmation, though, so something definitely was afoot. What could it be? And did she really want any part of it? All the same, she felt willing to trust Xera and the rest. They wouldn't give her a responsibility if they didn't think she could do it.

"Related to that, there is something else you need to know," the Arkan continued. "There's going to come a time when you lose someone you are commanding, maybe even someone close." He stopped walking and turned to look at her. "It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot and you're going to blame yourself. You're going to begin to doubt yourself. That's natural, even expected. Whatever you do, keep your focus when that happens! Deal with the moment, and then take the time to grieve later, when you and those that remain are safe at home."

Callie grinned, blushed a bit at the fact she grinned, and then said, "The Sergeant-Major once told me the same thing, a few weeks ago before we went to clear the bogwump nest."

"She did?"

"Mostly. Her words were … more-colorful, though."

"Oh? What did she say?" Pelidri asked, his voice having a light chuckle in it.

"She said that when I 'fuck up', and that someday I'm going to fuck up, I need to focus and work the problem, and deal with the emotions after, when the mission is over."

With that, the Arkan actually threw his head back as his deep laughter rolled out in waves. It took a bit but eventually the sounds faded. "Truer words could not have been said. You can learn a lot from her, or from any high-ranked enlisted. In fact, you'd learn more from them than any officer, and you should learn all you can from her before you leave."

"Understood, Arkan."

"I'd like to make a request, if I may?" Pelidri asked.

"Uh, sure?"

"When you return, and after you've settled down wherever you may end up, seek me out. Maybe in two years? I'd like to reconnect, and hear of your exploits and adventures. I'll likely still be living in Imor, and still acting as a liaison for the Cillisine army, although I'll likely travel from time to time to Marindine, and possibly back here for Midsummers, too." Then he added, "I think knowing you've returned safe would bring me some peace, as surrogate for Rorei not coming home."

There obviously was no way that Callie could say no to that request, but she also knew she didn't want to. She'd made a promise to him a few days ago to do Rorei proud, and she was willing to do everything to keep that promise. Ultimately seeing him again would complete that circle. Heck, maybe she'd come here for Midsummer in two years to see him and Camp Utora again.

"I'd be happy to," Callie finally said, after realizing she'd been quiet for a few long seconds.

"Splendid! Then I look forward to that reunion, Calliope Archer. For now, I'll simply wish you good hunting." He knelt, giving Callie a simple but requisite Gnome-hug. Rising, he turned and walked away, reminding Callie again of her grandfather. He handed Utora's Radiant Star to his assistant, Callie overhearing instructions to see it was packed in with his belongings, wrapped in cloth to keep it safe.

Callie pondered the advice he'd given her, about making sure to care for herself and also focusing on the moment in the face of things going wrong. She realized that, just like with the cloth protecting the medal, those were words designed to wrap around and keep her safe, too. "Thank you," Callie said quietly, almost in a whisper, as she raised a hand to wave Arkan Pelidri goodbye.

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