PART IV - REBUTTAL

"So," Jorin continued, gesturing wildly with his hands to help explain, "then he turns around and walks right into the heavy spider webbing strung between the trees we'd warned him about two minutes previous. I don't think I've heard a higher-pitched sound in my life than Thorn shrieking in absolute terror. He tried to brush it away from his face, and that just caused him to get more entangled, leading to him panicking even harder! Before long, he's screaming 'Get it off! Get it off!' while spinning in circles, which was just wrapping him in more webbing." The Dwarf pantomimed trying to brush spider webs off to add even more humor.

"The fool spins several more times, managing to somehow pull the spider that made the webs down from its tree, where it became firmly stuck to his back, legs facing outward as the poor thing just wants to get away. Reynard and I are torn between helping our friend, and trying to keep breathing from laughing so hard."

The audience, having already been warmed up with hilarious stories from others, was almost in stitches as Jorin demonstrated. On the dais, Galin and Pelidri had also finally lost it, the latter's booming laughter carrying over the crowd. Even Nevikk, who was sitting at the table next to his dad for the moment, was cackling in glee trying to imagine the scene.

"Finally," Jorin continued, lowering his voice and crouching a bit, just to slightly increase the dramatic tension, "he bursts through the other side of the webbing, completely covered in the stuff, promptly trips over a fallen tree trunk, and splats face first into a deep puddle of mud. Try to imagine Thorn lying there, completely entombed by spider webbing, covered from head to toe in mud, while the poor spider is trapped upside-down on his back, struggling as its little legs twitched in the air." The scene was absolutely impossible to imagine with Thorn as the centerpiece, yet at the same time just as absolutely comical. Jorin half-turned, looking back and gesturing towards the embarrassed Ratkin. "This, my friends, is the perfect grace and beauty of a Topaz-tiered Martialist, who's childlike screams of terror still echo in my head to this day."

As the room filled with another round of raucous laughter, Jorin returned to the podium and stepped up onto the booster behind it. He tapped to disable the Amplification Sigil on his chest, since there was already one in front of him, and waited for the crowd to die down a little bit. "Yet, through it all, Thorn has been one of my best friends; one of our best friends. He's been there for all of us more times than we could count. I and the others consider him family, along with his son, Nevikk. On this Midsummer, when friends and family are of the most importance, we truly know our lives are better for him being part of it. I am happy to join in congratulating Thorn for achieving Topaz. He's worked hard, sacrificed much, and set a terrified, screaming example we can only hope to follow." He turned and looked back at the Ratkin. "Congratulations, my friend, congratulations."

Jorin stepped down, walking over to the approaching Thorn and the two embraced to the applause of the audience. They exchanged a few words that were lost in the noise before the Master Trainer patted his friend on the back.

"Excuse me," a voice said, and Callie looked up before leaning a little to the side to make some room. While the comedic roast had been going on, the Goblins had quietly emerged from the kitchen, bringing covered bowls for each table that were apparently part of the larger meal. There was also a little teapot, and Callie had peeked inside, seeing it filled with a steaming brown liquid sauce of some kind, while Juniper looked into another that was filled with diced cooked vegetables. They'd also been warned there was a heating stone in some, to make sure nobody accidentally swallowed one.

"Alright," Thorn said, stepping up to the podium and padding the air for quiet, apparently ready to respond to the people he had once thought were his friends. His smile was bright, though, and you could tell he knew it was all in fun. Slowly the room became still and grew a little more serious, or maybe anticipatory, wondering what Thorn might say in rebuttal.

Looking over at Reynard, Jorin and Natala, Thorn opened with, "I just want you to know, I hate each and every one of you." Then, looking out into the audience he added, "I am currently interviewing for new friends. If any of you are interested, please apply for the position tomorrow."

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"Just a warning," Jorin called out, his Amplification unmuted, "the job pays really poorly!"

"Quiet!" Thorn growled, "or I'll tell them all about that time in that old silver mine."

"Ah, I see … I do believe I will shut up now," Jorin said, before quickly retaking his seat to a few chuckles. Still, the exchange kept the lightness and humor alive in the room.

"You'll all be pleased to know I actually don't have a lot to say," Thorn began. "I suppose I could regale you all with the story of the time that Natala fell off a korrox into a patch of itchweed. If you've never seen a Dwarf going mad as she tries to deal with the effects all over her body, count yourself lucky. Or there was that time that Reynard managed to somehow show up three hours late to his own wedding. His own wedding! And for some reason she still actually married him! And as for Jorin, I wouldn't want to tell you about that time up in Marindine that …"

"Don't you say it!" Jorin growled out. It was hard to tell if he was actually serious or just acting the part, but the crowd was loving it all the same.

"I suppose you're right," Thorn said with a sigh, as if disappointed he couldn't spill the beans. "Suffice to say there's a very good reason he's not allowed into that city any more. It was the Governor's son, after all."

"Bah! He had it coming! I'm sure it grew back eventually." Jorin harrumphed as he sat back down.

Callie couldn't help but smile. It wasn't just the light atmosphere and the funny stories. What was warming her all over was seeing how close Thorn was to Reynard, Jorin and Natala, with their friendships going back years. And knowing that both Nevikk and Thorn had that supportive found-family to help them through everything that had happened with Ravina made it all the more special. She looked at Pixyl, and then to Jesca, Lhawni and the rest, trying to imagine all of them still being fast friends years from now, and it was a good image.

"As for General Xera," Thorn melodramatically sighed, looking back at the table as the Commandant raised an eyebrow in curious warning. "Honestly, Xera is my boss, so it's probably best if I don't say anything." There was a tiny groan of disappointment in the crowd. "Still, I am able to confirm one thing. I am, indeed, an absolute pain in their ass."

"Just as I told all of you!" Xera called out.

Thorn let the giggles settle a bit, before he took on a less-relaxed posture, as if the time for humor had ended. "In all seriousness, though. I can't possibly thank all of you enough for this recognition, it means a great deal to me. I had long since given up on the idea that I would ever reach Topaz, and made my peace with that fact. That I've reached it is perhaps as much of a shock to me as it is to all of you." He then went on to personally thank a few people directly, including Xera, his first Martialist mentor, and a few others. To Callie, it sounded a lot like an Academy Awards speech, and she half-expected an orchestra to rise up to play him off the stage.

"And last but certainly not least, I want to thank one person in particular." He paused, a playful glint in his eye as he turned to Callie at Table 1. "Recruit Callie, I think back to the day you arrived just a few weeks ago, when none of us were even sure Gnomes could be a Ranger, and I'm proud to say that you've excelled and proved the doubters wrong. For myself, I never suspected your morning class and all your other oddness could somehow inspire the increase in my Tier. While there is still an instinct to take shelter from the storm of Gnome chaos you bring, I'm willing to take a risk to personally and publically thank you for it."

Callie boggled in surprise at Thorn's words, almost overwhelmed with the heartfelt sincerity. She quickly tried to think of something appropriately smarmy she could call out in response in order to participate in all the banter, but before any words came out, someone in the back of the room shouted out, 'The Queen's Wife!'. In turn, this just caused Pixyl to groan, Juniper and Lhawni, with help from the wine, to giggle, and Callie to lose her place. The immediate moment lost, she only managed to quickly catch Thorn's eyes before he turned back, settling for mouthing out a simple 'You're welcome'.

"Finally," Thorn continued, apparently preparing to wrap things up, "I'd just like to say …"

His words were abruptly cut off as above him, hanging from the ceiling of the big tent, a huge banner unrolled itself. Long strips of lightweight cloth were attached to its bottom, continuing to unroll before fluttering in the air like long tentacles. Painted on the white canvas in a dark blue were the words 'BEST TRAINER EVER', just as Callie had suggested in jest before the Bogwump mission.

Looking around the table, there was no sign of Jesca, and amid the din of the crowd's laughter, Callie turned in her seat looking for her friend. Finally, she spotted the Cheetahkin standing off to the side, her hands holding the end of a rope that had been strung up to the ceiling and then over to the now-unrolled banner. The two locked eyes, and then Jesca's face broke into the widest, guiltiest grin that Callie had ever seen on her.

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