Part 1

As much as I would've liked to sit down and ponder the chain of events that led me to this very moment, the golems surrounding me had other plans. There were eight in total, counting the two that lost one arm each, and all of them had subtly different proportions. One at the edge of the group followed after Ambrose, so I figured they were automatically engaging the closest target, which left me with seven of them.

Those were some dicey odds on paper, but I wasn't exactly shaking in my boots for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, this wasn't be the first time I faced off against multiple giant humanoid enemies seemingly made of stone, and compared to the Colossi of the Celestials… Where should I even begin?

No Barriers, no wards, no armour or weapons, unable to adapt to the opponent's tactics, and vulnerable to my brand of magical disruption. Also, considerably less aesthetically pleasing to the eye. These things were pretty much the One-Jen-Store version of the Colossi, which meant… Wait. Were those marble statue guys in fact quite impressive?

Maybe my girlfriends were right. Maybe my view on the power levels of this world was indeed hopelessly and irrevocably twisted beyond repair.

Anyhow, because of the distinct gap in quality compared to the last time I was in a similar situation, I couldn't feel much tension. If anything, I was more worried about how Ambrose was doing. Sure, he was an arch-mage, and one of the more combat-oriented ones to boot, but this was our opponents' home turf, and… Hold on. Why were we fighting these guys again?

"Graaaah!"

Oh, right. Because the home defence system wasn't available for a reasonable discussion.

Even without my danger sense warning me ahead of time, the one-handed golem's roar would've given me enough of a heads-up to get out of the way of its haymaker punch. Yet, as soon as I came to a halt, another warning clawed at the back of my head, and I had to duck under the backhand swing of a sneakier (as if that concept applied to these things) golem. The rest were also closing in, and though there wasn't much teamwork between them, they were still freaking big, with lots of reach to limit my movements.

Even so, this wouldn't have even counted as a dangerous situation on my scale (Judy's scale was a different matter, but what she didn't know about couldn't hurt her) under normal circumstances. Except I was putting limitations on my Phasing, had to be careful with my phantom limbs accidentally triggering mini-retcons, and…

"Hey, answer me already! You're making this awkward!"

Yes, that was still happening. The Girl's portal not only followed after me, it was acting like it had gotten anchored to my head and remained exactly a palm's width away from my right ear no matter how much I moved. Oh, and if that wasn't distracting enough already, she also refused to shut up.

"I told you I was in the middle of something!"

"What?" Ambrose yelled over to me, sounding baffled by my sudden outburst.

"I'm not talking to you, but…" He wasn't listening, because he was busy trying not to get fully surrounded by the bodybuilder mages, so I bit back the end of my response into a soft groan, just in time to sense another ground-pound coming my way. "Bloody hell, I hate multitasking!"

"What?" This time the question came from the other side of the portal, and it wasn't coming from The Girl.

Meanwhile, I dashed back and observed the battlefield. I could take the fight to the pillars on my left, or the open space in the middle. One would've given me cover and opportunities to divide my foes but would also make me easier to box in, while the other would've given me more freedom to manoeuvre but also let the golems fully surround me.

"Do I know him? I don't think I do," the voice of The Boy continued to ask questions clearly aimed at The Girl. "Who's he?"

"I told you, just a friend! I contacted him for… erm… for advice! About the Simulacrum!"

"Uuuuh. You've asked an outside for help? ************ won't like that…"

Even though I was familiar with the info-torrents that occasionally erupted from the Emergent whenever they referred to each other or certain concepts, the unexpected stimulus made me nearly stumble, and it wasn't until I rolled out of the way of an incoming stony fist that my brain finished digesting the synaesthetic info-bomb and concluded that he was most likely referring to The Woman.

More importantly, that momentary lapse of action allowed the golems to cut off my way towards the row of columns, meaning my choice was made for me. I dashed forth, drawing the stone creatures towards the open middle of the hall, and they followed with heavy yet surprisingly rapid steps. Meanwhile…

"It's just a small thing! No need to tell her about it!" The Girl protested, and then her voice suddenly shifted from frightful chirps to angry crowing. "If you tattle, I'll also tell her about that time you skipped the middle strata when looking for the Crowned Coalescence, even though she specifically told you to do it!"

"H-Hey, that's blackmail, and… That's a peculiar way to call him…"

"Yeah, but it's fitting, isn't it?"

"I suppose, but…"

"Could you two pipe down? You're distracting me," I grumbled at the duo, and they both quieted down. Not completely though.

"S-Sorry? Um… What is he doing?"

"He's playing around," The Girl told him confidently, and if she wasn't a freaking star-god-people-thing, I would've been tempted to put this whole mess on hold long enough to give her a forehead flick.

"Playing around?" The Boy echoed her, sounding more confounded by the choice of words than anything.

"He's very serious about it," she insisted, and… yeah, I'll definitely give her a forehead flick as soon as I figure out how to do it safely.

More importantly, just running away from the golems was not a strategy, so I needed to stop stalling and come up with one. First off: no Phasing, either short- or long-ranged, and no phantom limbs unless necessary. Everything else was fair game.

"That's… barely a handicap," I whispered while simultaneously activating my Leoformer and donning my Lion Knight armour, followed by reaching into the storage enchantment and…

"{Status Report: Interface:Teeny, operational. Welcome back, Archon Polemos.}"

"{Oh, finally! What are we fighting…?}" Cal's words got caught in his non-existent throat and, I kid you not, he let out a freaking squee. "{Aaaah! Young Knight, look! Worthy foes, at last! We must use this opportunity to hone the practical application of your Flash Cut in real combat scenarios!}"

"{Objection: Interface:Teeny would like to once again state that the designation 'Flash Cut' is too plain and isn't befitting the stature of the Second True Archon.}"

"{Oh, please, Teeny! We talked about this! We have to leave space for improvement, so that once our young Knight has fully mastered the technique, it could be renamed to the 'Ultimate Flash Cut'! Then, once its mastery reaches its pinnacle, it might even break through and become an even mightier technique, such as the Omega Flash, or the Horizon Divider! If we grant it such a grand name right away, then it will only make naming the improved versions all the more difficult!}"

"{Compromise: Interface:Teeny admits that Interface:Cal's argument has merit, but isn't happy about it.}"

…

Was this a bad idea? Adding two chatterboxes to the situation while I was already being distracted sure felt like one, but then again, what other option did I have? I couldn't quite fight these guys bare-handed.

Speaking of which, I flourished my blades. Teeny was in its short sword form, while Cal's long blade was already thrumming with mana, even forming a faint white mist around it, a clear sign of being hyped up by the prospect of the fight. Which, to be honest, I wasn't entirely free of myself. When was the last time I fought someone properly, not in a training context? Maybe it would be good to let out some steam and…

"Okay, but what did you want to ask him about?"

"{Quickly, young Knight! Use your Flash Cut to bisect the foolish foe on the right!}"

"Oh, you know? Stuff? Simulacrum stuff?"

"{Advice: Interface:Teeny would recommend focusing on the two damaged enemy combatants for maximum threat reduction.}"

"Could all of you shut up for just a minute!?" I snapped, silencing the peanut gallery, if only momentarily.

The swords in my hands imperceptibly trembled from the stream of mana entering my body, but I held onto them firmly. My armour's physical enhancements were at their baseline values, but I didn't need more for this, and as soon as the mana in my body made a full circulation, I sprung forth.

The golems hadn't formed a united front. Or even tried, for that matter. There were two on the left, two at the front, one on the right, with two more lagging behind a bit. I honed in on the two directly in front of me. One was in pristine condition, while the other lost an arm to Ambrose. Because of this, there was a bit of a gap in their reach, so I dashed into that blind spot and swung Teeny at their knee.

Metal met stone, and while that was usually bad news for the blade, this was an ancient legendary plot-device weapon we were talking about here, and Teeny's leaf-shaped edge bit deep into the magical rock of the creature. It wasn't quite able to sever it in one go, and the resistance made me flinch, but I was still able to inflict enough damage to make the golem fall on one knee, bringing its head and one glowing red eye in range of Cal.

A simple stab, but it had quite a lot of force behind it, and the tip of the sword easily penetrated the glassy red orb embedded in its body. That's all it took to take the first golem out of commission, as expected, but there were still six left.

Tearing Cal out of the head of the creature took some effort, which left me momentarily vulnerable to another Golem's attack. This was the one-armed one though, so by the time it got into position to take a swing at me, I was not only out of the way but also swinging Teeny on the back-stroke, and as blade met with rock again, the latter crumbled and was cleanly severed.

Why was there such a stark difference compared to the first strike? Simply put, I cheated. This wasn't the first time I've used the trick where I lined my phantom limbs up with the edge of my weapon, and while I was playing things conservatively this time, I quickly found a good balance. I would only use them around Teeny to allow me to disrupt the magical formula maintaining and controlling their bodies, leading to easier dismemberment, while Cal would be used whenever striking their heads or torsos were required, thus avoiding getting accidentally pulled into retcon-space again.

Speaking of which, the disarmed (pun one hundred percent intended) golem staggered back, so before it could regain its balance (and try to headbutt me, or something) I jumped up and swung Cal at its face. With my physical enhancements, I not only reached its head level, but my momentum carried me over it. I successfully held back the urge to do a somersault, and I could hear the armless creature fall motionlessly on its face as soon as I landed. Two down. Now, there were only…

"Come on, help me out here!" An angry whisper interrupted my plans, coming from the portal by my ear. "Can you please just play along?"

"I told you, I'm—!" I tried to argue back, only to pause when I realized that I was already in the process of cutting off the leg of the next golem. This… might not take as much mental effort as I thought, so I grudgingly told her. "Fine. Just don't expect me to answer anything technical off-the-cuff."

"Thanks! I know you'd come around!"

"… What exactly is your relationship again?" The Boy asked, sounding oddly guarded.

"Friends!"/"Acquaintances," we answered simultaneously while I used Cal to redirect a haymaker punch coming my way and then immediately followed it up by a counter with Teeny, splitting the fist down in the middle.

"Hey! We're not just acquaintances!" The Girl protested as I took a couple of light steps to the side and slashed the other leg of the previous golem, sending it crashing to the ground. And crash it did; these things must've weighed multiple tons each!

"I don't think we're friends yet though," I countered even as I climbed the downed creature in preparation for targeting the back of its head. "At most, we're partners in crime."

"Ack! Don't put it that way! It's going to make us look bad!"

"… Are you doing something bad?" The Boy chimed in, and I could practically see The Girl pouting in my mind's eye.

"No! He's just messing with me because he knows you're listening!"

"Maybe," I said offhandedly and delivered the coup de grace on the downed golem before dashing out of the way of multiple stone fists coming my way.

"What is all that noise in the background?" came The Boy's next question, further flustering The Girl.

"I told you; he's playing! Seriously! Seriously playing!"

That wasn't how I would've put it, but in the meantime I swung Cal at the gap between the closest golem's head and body. The blade embedded itself about halfway through but got stuck, so before it could leave me open, I poured a whole lot of mana into it, kind of like how I would prepare for the beam attack, and then yanked on the handle. The excess energy created a bang and a flash, and a moment later the flat head of the golem sailed through the air like a novelty champagne cork at a New Year's party.

While the two Emergents continued to argue about what I was doing and how we knew each other, I made a quick headcount and found that there were still four more golems around. Since I made short work of the ones attacking me, there was enough of a gap to see that Ambrose was also making headway with the Magi. I hoped the people lying on the ground were still alive, and since there was no blood, it might not even have been an unfounded one.

Since the rest were now trying to bring their injured members out of the crossfire, it meant the arch-mage had even less opponents to deal with at once… except that one of those was the stray golem that disengaged from me at the beginning, and it was steadily cornering him. I had no idea how, or why; maybe he switched to different spells better suited against humans and they were ineffective against the creature? I couldn't ask, because we were too far apart, and…

"{Young Knight! Quick, use your Flash Cut to support your ally!}"

"Cal, I swear…!" I started, but then I glanced at the blade still filled with mana in my hand and went, "Argh, fine!"

After hamstringing another golem with Teeny and making sure the others were out of reach, I raised Cal over my head and pumped even more raw mana into it. The edge flared up with a bright white light, and while my form wasn't nearly as stable as when I last demonstrated the technique to Josh, I also wasn't going full throttle back then. Also, adrenaline may or may not have played an additional factor, because when I swung my hand and released the pent-up power, the crescent wave emitted by the tip was not only brighter and more defined than before…

"What the hell, Leonard!?"

"You're welcome!" I yelled over to the arch-mage retreating from the dust and debris kicked up by the neatly bisected golem, the gouged-out floor, and the crumbling wall at the far end of the hall. I couldn't hear anything else he said, because I was so focused on this stunt that I almost ate a backhand strike from another golem, but it was nothing a few quick cuts by Teeny couldn't rectify post-haste.

"{Haha! You see, Teeny! Well call that Flash Cut: Overload!}"

"{Restrained Awe: Interface:Teeny is impressed by the Second True Archon's boundless martial might.}"

"Cut it out, you two," I whispered, but The Girl must've overheard.

"What? I didn't say anything this time!"

"I wasn't talking to you, and—"

"Um… Sir? So, are you really an expert in regards to the fluent constancy principles of the Simulacrum?"

I tried to understand the question even as I continued to hack at the golem in front of me, right until its defences opened up and I could deliver a quick stab at its head. Only then did I utter a flat, "Sure, I suppose," before twisting the sword and jumping off. Two to go.

"I told you! He's… he's not just an expert; he's totally immersed in it! He's living and breathing it!"

"I-If you say so…" The Boy retreated in front of The Girl's dogged insistence, so I used the opportunity to focus on the remaining golems. I figured that the sooner I got rid of them, the sooner I could support Ambrose, so I went on the offensive.

"Whoa, whoa…"

Maybe a bit too much even, because I forgot that I shouldn't use Teeny (or rather, my phantom limbs) on the bodies, and I nearly ended up in another temporary-retcon. It didn't stagger me long enough for it to be dangerous, fortunately, so I managed to duck under the punch coming from the left, cut off the extended arm at the elbow, and then hit the back of the other golem's knee before giving it a good kick. Note to self: even when magically enhanced and wearing magitech armour, kicking a big-ass rock hurt.

Anyhow, that imbalanced it, the golem fell on one knee, and I immediately stepped on it to boost myself up to its shoulder. Cal made short work of its glowing glass eye, and since I was already up there, I could just hop over to the other golem. I withdrew my phantom limbs first, then I pulled back both my arms, followed by a quick cross-slash that completely destroyed the last golem's head while also giving me some upward boost for a full flip, concluded by a perfect landing punctuated by the two golems falling over at the same time.

Geez, it was nice to feel cool from time to time.

"Leonard! Stop playing around; we need to wrap this up right now!" Ambrose called out to me, cutting my basking in the afterglow of a well-executed move short.

"Yes, yes. I'll help you out."

"Really? In that case, what is your opinion on the rapidly rising structural complexity of the Simulacrum's ************* in the mid-stratum?"

… Oh crap. Did I miss a question from The Boy while I was focusing on the last golem? What did I agree to? And what did he mean by structural complexity? I would've liked to ask The Girl for support, but how was I supposed to do that without giving the game away? Also, this wasn't exactly the best time to answer inquiries like that, so… Refuge in audacity it was!

"It's because of the two Free Actors," I said the first thing that came to mind even as I broke into a dash towards Ambrose.

"The Free Actors… but… I mean, it would explain the rise in variable redefinition, but what about the spread of the effects to non-operational segments?"

Again, I had no idea what he was talking about, but that never stopped me from bullshitting my way out of a conversation. But before that, I targeted the closest muscle mage and leapt towards him.

"Leonard, no! Don't let them touch—!" Ambrose cried out in alarm.

I couldn't exactly stop at this point though, and I couldn't exactly hit them with Cal or Teeny (since even a strike with the flat of the blade would've been dangerous), so I settled for the next best thing and focused all my momentum into a kick. My target, a middle-aged man with defined muscles, short hair, and a neatly trimmed beard raised his arms into a boxing block. His hands, covered with thick metal gauntlets, shone with a fain green light… right until they met with my foot, at which point there was a deafening sound reminiscent of a whip crack, and the guy was sent flying back.

My momentum carried me on and I rolled to a stop, and when I got back on my feet and brandished my blades, the bearded arch-mage let out a soft, "… Never mind."

Meanwhile, I already came up with my answer to The Boy's question, or at least something that he would hopefully accept at face value.

"Phenomena, even outside the usual range of interactions, can occur as long as it is actively expected to occur, prompting the internal framework to bring them into existence to maintain the illusion of consistency."

"… Excuse me?" one of the muscle mages blurted out, so I used the opportunity to kick the broken fist of the bisected golem his way, while his defence was down. Of course, I didn't hit him (I was never great at soccer), but it made them regroup in a hurry, giving us some breathing room.

"Wait, are you implying that the Simulacrum would adjust the world-state of the scenario based on the Free Actor's expectancies? Wouldn't that go against the laws of ************* within the Simulacrum?"

"So long as it's out of sight, can anyone tell when part of the framework was bent to suit a new paradigm?"

"It… would be impossible, unless one searches the whole scenario for the seams, but… Why would two Free Actors make a difference?"

"A small change can create a huge divergence in unexpected places," I stated with a sagely voice. Meanwhile, the Magi grouped up, so before they could start slinging spells at me, I raised my blades and started walking towards them. "Just like how the wings of a butterfly could create a storm a world over."

"What in Sophia's name are you blabbering about?!" Ambrose exclaimed, but I had little mental power to spend on him, because I already had to divide it between the Magi in front of me and the duo on the other side of the portal.

"Oooh? Then, wouldn't that also explain the thing I asked about?" The Girl chimed in excitedly with the sound of a chattering of sparrows. "You know? The thing I asked when I called you?"

I'll be honest here, after everything that went down in the last ten minutes, I had no earthly clue what her original inquiry was, so I just nodded along.

"Sure, it might." I could hear The Boy inhaling in preparation for another question (why he needed to do that was yet another Emergent mystery), but I cut him off with, "Now, can I finish what I started here in peace?"

There were no more questions, so I flourished my blades at the group of magical musclemen and…

"We surrender," the man I just sent flying not too long ago called out to me. He had trouble standing on his own and had to lean on his fellows and… and…

"Those were the sanest words I've heard since the moment I set foot in this god-forsaken place!" I burst out loud, much to Ambrose's annoyance.

"I take umbrage to that!" He kept his spells active and trained on the group, and I only just noticed that he was limping. Even though he couldn't see my eyes because of the helmet, he must've realized something from my body language, because he grudgingly added, "I was sloppy. They got my left leg."

"I can see that, but… now what?"

"That's a good question!" he griped so hard he went as far as to tug on his beard. "What are we going to do with these bastards?! We can't take them hostage, but we can't leave them here either!"

"Just tie them up with a spell or something," I said off-handedly, but then I had a sudden epiphany. "Unless…"

I turned to the group and jerked my head towards the man in the middle, who seemed to be their leader, or at least their spokesperson.

"Hey, question: Can you tell us where the Grimoire Key is?"

"… We surrender."

I narrowed my eyes (not that he could see) and tried again.

"Where's the arch-mage's office?"

"… … We surrender."

A heavy silence lingered for a long beat, then on a whim I asked, "What's two plus two?"

"… … … It's four. And we surrender."

"Argh! These stubborn bastards are useless!" Ambrose fumed, and for once, I completely agreed with him.

In retrospect, I should've expected this much. These guys weren't just your run-of-the-mill placeholders, they were placeholders from an area of the Simulacrum that was an order of magnitude less defined and developed than the worst of Critias. It was a small miracle they didn't all look exactly the same, like a bunch of default character models in an RPG.

"Well, in that case…" I began, only to fall silent as I was hit with another epiphany. "Hold on, give me a minute."

"Did you think of something?" Ambrose tried not to sound too hopeful, but when I nodded, he burst into laughter at once. "Haha! I knew you would have something else up your sleeve! So, what's the plan? Come on, out with it!"

I couldn't exactly explain the details to him, so I shook my head and sat down, right then and there.

So, let's look at what we had here: a quantifiably less defined segment of the Simulacrum, a bunch of extra-basic placeholders, and the two of us not having a single clue about how to get to the Grimoire Key and exfiltrate before the local arch-mage could do something nefarious to it. Oh, and we had one more key resource here: someone Narrative-adjacent with lots of imagination.

It was a long shot, but it might've been our only shot at resolving this situation without fighting through the entire facility and getting blacklisted by the rest of the Assembly for all the damage caused in the process.

"Give me five… no, ten minutes," I spoke softly as I got into a lotus position and laid Cal on my lap. "I need to meditate."

Part 2

Polished red marble floors. Luxuriant hardwood wall panels. Wall-mounted lamps depicting brass mermaids holding the lights. Walking through the various assorted hallways of Ottawa's School of Restoration, I once again couldn't help but wonder if this place was especially extravagant, or if the School at home was uniquely austere in the grand scheme of things. Actually, why didn't I just ask?

"Hey, Ambrose? Is it normal for Schools to be this fancy?"

"Is that seriously something you want to ask in this situation?" the arch-mage asked back in a hiss, visibly miffed by my well-meaning inquiry.

"What? You've been to other Assembly Schools, so if anyone could give me a proper answer, it's you."

"This isn't the situation for idle talk like that!" he snapped at me, drawing everyone's attention.

It didn't make much of a difference though, and we continued to walk through the facility without any obstructions. Not that I expected anyone to stop us; even though we were out of the Purple Zone, we were also surrounded on all sides by the so-called combat response squad, and while some placeholder Magi stopped to gawk at us, things were proceeding smoothly.

"Calm down. Everything's going according to plan, so no need to be so tense."

"What 'plan'?! You just surrendered to them!"

"Yes. That's what I just said. All according to plan."

The bearded arch-mage continued to huff and puff, but since he apparently wouldn't answer my original question, I lightly shrugged and continued to walk. I wasn't kidding when I said things were proceeding well. Our biggest problem was that we had no idea where to find the Grimoire Key, and fighting through the whole School while looking for it was a terrible solution. Luckily, I had something better in mind.

Quick recap: since I was the acting Narrative at the moment, I could subconsciously influence the scenario of the Simulacrum. As much as I hated to accept it, the process was also ridiculously easy to hack by employing some meditative and self-suggestion practices. But then what if we took all that, and purposefully applied it to the current situation?

My hypothesis was that if this part of the Simulacrum was under-defined, which made it especially 'vulnerable' to my retconning ability, it logically followed that it had to be easier to affect by other means as well. To test it, I took a ten-minute break to practice some self-hypnosis, and while it wasn't nearly as pleasant as the usual sessions due to a lack of relaxing music and my girlfriend's thighs, it was undeniably effective.

After that, I shifted my Leoformer to my school uniform and convinced the magi at the scene that we were the ones surrendering to them, after which we enjoyed an unopposed tour through the School without any further conflict or obstacles in our way. Until this point, that is.

"Halt! Where are you going?"

Our group was stopped by a gruff-looking man backed by more muscle-mages, and based on the deferential treatment the people surrounding us gave him, he must've been their superior. He was tall, if not nearly as muscular as the rest, with mostly unremarkable features under a wide-brimmed black hat.

"We're taking them to interrogation after we surrendered," the guy leading our group, the one with the beard from before, stated firmly, and I couldn't help but interject by clearing my throat.

"He means that we surrendered," I cut in and raised my cuffed hands for illustration. The people surrounding us nodded along like it was obvious.

"Yes, that's what I said. They surrendered, and we're taking them to interrogation after we surrendered."

Oh, man. These placeholders were built different, that's for sure. I almost felt sorry for manipulating them like this. Maybe I should send them some gift baskets once we're done here. Or chocolate. Or maybe gift baskets with chocolate. I'll figure it out by then.

"Then what are you doing here? The holding cells are down at the bottom floor!" the behatted mage continued to raise entirely valid complaints, so I interjected again.

"It's because we're VIP captives, and the arch-mage needs to question us personally."

"That goes without saying," the man in front of us scoffed as if I just stated the obvious.

"And so we're being taken to her office. Where the Grimoire Key is," I insisted, just to be sure.

"Well, of course. Where else would it be? Are you dumb, or something?" he grumbled again and stepped aside. "On your way then. And keep a close eye on the mouthy one."

"Yes, certainly," our group leader responded briskly, and we started moving again.

"Ambrose?"

"Hm?"

"Once we're done here, remind me not to send any gift baskets to that guy."

The arch-mage squinted at me in disapproval for a while, but instead of responding to that, he threw his hands in the air.

"I still can't figure out what kind of spell you used to make all this happen, but I don't like it!"

"Don't be so over-dramatic. It's working fine, and we're being taken to the Grimoire Key."

"No, we're being taken to Marzanna!" His own retort made him pause and exhale a groan right after. "Right, this is going to be trouble. I should prepare for a battle instead of arguing with you like this!"

"Don't worry. I'm sure she'll be very reasonable."

"Yeah, and I'm sure pigs will start raining from the sky at any second now, but I'm still going to prepare myself for the more realistic scenario."

That sounded very pessimistic, so I normally would've wholeheartedly approved, but for once I had to deny his words on principle. I spent half my self-suggestion session telling myself that the local arch-mage would be perfectly rational, and I had to maintain that belief if I wanted to make it stick through my reverse-Narrative-influence.

…

Also, for the record: Bloody freaking hell! I still couldn't believe it was that easy to hijack this world's innner workings, but there was little I could do about it. For now, I just silently followed our 'captors' through the School, pointedly ignoring the covertly chanting Lord Ambrose and his occasional flashes of colourless magical light by my side. It didn't take long to reach our destination, and for once, I was met with something recognisable.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

"Finally a familiar sight," I whispered as I beheld the large double doors covered in a spider-web of smouldering, interlocked magical circles and other layered enchantments.

"Lord Marzanna! We've brought the intruders!" the bearded muscle-man leading our procession called out without any magical preamble, and a few short seconds later the wings of the door flared up bright and began to move.

The office on the other side had roughly the same dimensions as Lord Grandpa's, which might've been another one of those 'because that was my only frame of reference, and the Simulacrum bent to my expectations' situations, but I put the thought out of mind for the moment.

The floor under our feet was covered in extravagant Persian carpets, while shelves lining the left and right walls were stuffed with cups, plaques and framed certificates on one side, and rows of leather-bound books on the other. The wrought iron chandelier over our heads was also pretty neat, but the two most striking details in the room were definitely its owner, closely followed by the odd wooden pedestal in the corner at the far right. But one thing at a time.

The local arch-mage stood in front of her desk and appeared to be in her late sixties. She was dressed in a simple black dress under a set of loose white robes, creating an odd contrast. Her hair was a fifty-fifty mix of raven-black and aged grey strands, and the wrinkles around her mouth and eyes would've given her a bit of a resting-bitch-face even if she wasn't actively glaring bloody murder at us at the moment. She held a plain gnarled wooden staff in one hand, and all things considered, she was one oversized hat and some pointy shoes away from passing for a witch on Halloween.

"And thus, the conspirators make their grand entrance upon the stage." Her voice, both raspy yet melodious, was colder than her glare, and she followed it up by tapping her staff against the floor. It sent a barely perceptible ripple across the room and caused the door to close. Again, so far, so familiar.

"Conspirators? What the hell are you talking about?"

Ambrose's fiery response only made her glare at us even harder, and after a long beat, she pointed right at me.

"Did you not bring your Celestial collaborator yourself? Or is he your new master, traitor?"

"Zywie! Are you out of your mind?!"

"Don't you dare take my name upon your—"

"Excuse me? Can I get a word in?" I casually slipped out of the magical manacles on my hands and raised my palms as a show of non-hostility. "Can we first sit down and talk this out like adults?"

"Silence!" The arch-mage's hiss was filled to the brim with undisguised scorn, but I pressed on.

"Now, now. No need to be rude. Allow me to introduce myself." I let my hands down and tugged on my blazer, a habit I developed from playing Bel too much. "I'm sure you're aware, but I'm Leonard S. Dunning of many titles, and I'm here to negotiate."

"I'm well acquainted with your name and your face, interloper," Lord Marzanna scoffed. "And your titles hold no power here!"

"Sure, that's why I didn't mention any of them," I continued, trying my best to remain civil. Why did I have a feeling that if we met just a few months ago, she would've been one of those people whose mere presence made me irrationally disagreeable? Either way, I cleared my throat and tried again. "I'm only here to discuss certain sensitive topics, along with Lord Ambrose. Isn't that right?"

I was waiting for the bearded arch-mage to back me up, but Marzanna beat him to the punch with a disdainful harrumph.

"Your actions speak louder than your words, Celestial scum! Your invasion of the sanctuary of this school and the destruction of its protectors will not go unanswered!"

"For the record, I'm calling self-defence on that one. Completely justified." She continued to stare daggers at me, so I quickly pivoted. "Not to mention, as soon as the hostilities were resolved, we peacefully surrendered ourselves. Isn't that right?"

This time my question was aimed at the leader of the Magi task force, and unlike Ambrose, he responded on the spot.

"Indeed, we… they surrendered peacefully."

Oh, look at that. Already developing beyond his template. How neat.

More importantly, the local arch-mage remained completely unconvinced.

"You may wag your poisonous tongue as much as you want, contemptible Celestial mongrel, but your honeyed words will find no purchase here! Your kind are nothing but a scourge of the land, a throng of despicable backstabbers and scheming serpents! To trust you is akin to accepting a scorpion onto one's bosom, and the day your reprobate kin will disappear from the face of this Earth will be one marked as a red-letter day by history!"

"… Well, damn," I whispered, feeling genuinely taken aback by her tirade. "I mean, you're not entirely wrong, but still, a racist rant against Celestials wasn't on my BINGO card for today." My words were followed by a chilling silence, so I raised my palms again and pivoted again, accompanied by a forced smile. "Don't worry. We all have bad days when we say things we don't actually mean, and I won't hold it against you. How about we just ignore all that, water under the bridge, and just focus on the actual reason why we're here?"

Following that, I unsubtly pointed at the far-right corner of the room, drawing everyone's attention to it. Past the shelves and surrounded by all kinds of wards stood a single wooden pedestal with a complex glowing magic circle carved into its top, stuffed to the brim with all kinds of archaic magic symbols and whatnot. Way more importantly, there was a familiar small pebble floating over said pedestal, surrounded by so much magical energy it was hard to properly see it from this distance due to all the blinding magic lights.

"So you reveal your true colors, at last!" Marzanna accused me by pointing her staff at us, making me more confused than anything.

"Reveal? I thought it was rather explicit that it's why we're here."

"I've sworn a binding oath," she continued, completely disregarding my objection. "An oath to safeguard the heritage of the Magi from the hands of our enemies!"

"Technically, it'll be for the hands of the Magi," I corrected her. "My friend really needs that to live a normal life again."

"Silence, Celestial scum!"

"Okay, calm down. You're slipping again," I warned her, but she just waved her staff at me again.

"Men, restrain them at once, and throw them into the deepest bowels of the School!" The butt of her staff hit the floor and a torrent of magic erupted, though it didn't seem to have other purpose than intimidation. "I shall attend to their proper interrogation later!"

I glanced over at Ambrose and blurted out, "I guess the negotiations broke down, eh?"

"No surprise here," he huffed back, followed by a slightly more contemplative. "You were right about her being more sensible than usual, but it was still inevitable."

"Whoa, slow down! This is her when she's sensible?!"

Ambrose had no chance to respond, because our escort followed her command and started closing in on us, so I donned my Lion Knight armour once more and got ready to move.

"Change of plans. Smash and grab now, deal with the fallout later."

"Which is what we should've done from the beginning!" he spoke spiritedly and then added, "Cover your ears!"

"Wait, wha—?"

Not a moment later, the spell Ambrose had been secretly preparing ahead of time flew out of his sleeve and then promptly exploded into a rainbow spectrum of light and a deafening boom that staggered everyone in the office, including myself.

"Bloody hell! Couldn't you give me a bit more forewarning before flashbanging the room!?"

"Focus, Leonard! Focus!"

Rolling my eyes, I shoulder-tackled the closest muscle mage to open a hole in the encirclement and aimed at the pedestal holding the Grimoire Key. I could feel some magic activating on contact with the man, but I already had my phantom limbs raised in advance, so it didn't reach me. Meanwhile, I slipped through and reached the corner of the room in a second.

"No! Stop him at once!" the resident arch-mage screamed and she raised her staff over her head in preparation for some big spell.

I couldn't care less. I swept one phantom limb over the orb hovering in the air and one under it, and as I made contact, all of the defensive wards and other assorted utility spells shorted out, including the one that was keeping my target afloat. It wasn't a problem though, as I easily snatched it out of the air with an obligatory "Yoink!" in tow.

"How dare you!?"

Marzanna levelled her staff against me, her face an incarnate of fury. In a flash, a torrent of white threads exploded in my direction, like a blizzard of spider silk. I had no idea whether that was how the spell was supposed to look or if was just my unique perception making it appear that way. Nor did I know what it was supposed to do, but when a slightly unhinged old lady threw something like that at you, it was prudent to be cautious about it, and since I had phantom limbs for days, I used them without restraint.

The threads of the spell continued to cascade towards me, but as long as I kept swiping at them, there was no chance for any of it to reach me. The deluge abated before long and revealed a stunned face behind me, with Lord Marzanna looking at me with a mixture of bewilderment and hatred. I didn't much care for that, but there was no need to drag it out any longer with small talk.

"Got what we came for!" I yelled over to Ambrose, only to freeze when I saw him being subdued by three muscle-bound Magi.

In retrospect, that made sense; we were in an enclosed arena, and invocation spells took a while to cast, so it wasn't unexpected that they could reach him before he could put up a decent fight. I didn't just stay still while considering that though.

"Out of the way!"

Once again, the leader of the task force was on the receiving end of my foot as I sent him tumbling with a kick. The rest reacted fast, but not fast enough, and a punch was enough to send the guy trying to put the bearded arch-mage into a choke hold onto the floor.

"What are you doing?! Capture them!"

Marzanna's scream could've put a banshee to shame, but I tried to remain composed as I turned towards her.

"It was a ple—" Before I could finish that, I was suddenly tackled from behind. Oddly enough, my danger sense didn't warn me about it, and a moment later I could once again feel a spell activating as one of the muscle-mages hugged my back, almost as if preparing to suplex me. Whatever his plan might've been, I didn't give him the opportunity. "Do you mind? I'm in the middle of something."

For emphasis, I delivered a simple elbow strike onto his shoulder blade. Thanks to my outfit's physical enhancements (and my annoyance), the force ended up being a bit more than planned, and he let go of me with a 'Nyeh!' kind of groan before falling to the ground.

"As I was saying, we're done here, so let me bid you farewell. Once you're a bit calmer, please consider visiting Critias so we can discuss things under more civilized circumstances. Until then, bye."

I didn't wait for her to respond. I already had what we came for, as well as my phantom limbs around Ambrose, so there was no need to drag this out any further. A blink of an eye later, we were back on Critias. To be precise, inside the base, right next to the armoury section with rather startled Brang.

"[Blackcloak? Thy return at this hour was not foreseen,]" the old Faun greeted me with an odd look in his eyes.

"There were some unexpected developments and…" I began, only to fall silent when I noticed the man on the floor next to me. "Are you all right?"

"They got me," Ambrose heaved and tried to get up, but he only ended up flailing his limbs a bit. "I can't feel my arms."

We shared a glance with Brang and moved in unison. First things first, I shifted my Leoformer back to school uniform mode and then we carefully helped the arch-mage sit up.

"Damned restoration mages! The worst of the material schools, I tell you!"

He was animated and cursing, so I figured it couldn't have been that bad.

"I'll go call Jaakobah and have him take a look at you."

He didn't care about my reassurance.

"I'll live. Tell me, did you get the Grimoire Key?"

"I sure did." I opened my palm and showed him the marble, but then we all fell silent.

I couldn't see it back then, because of all the magical light pollution, but there was a prominent fracture running down almost the entire length of the orb. There was even some chipping on one side, with a small chunk of it missing.

"I don't think that a good sign," I commented in a whisper, only for the universal rules of timing to take my words as a challenge, and with a soft crack and a small pulse of green light, the Grimoire Key cleanly broke apart into two pieces.

"[Mine understanding of this matter be but scant, yet thine item appears... quite shattered.]"

"Yeah. Yeah it is."

"[And I reckon that's most unfortunate.]"

"That's an understatement if I'd ever heard one..."

Brang let out a soft grunt, and we were slowly enveloped by a suffocating silence… for less than five seconds. Then it was broken by a new voice. One that only I could hear.

"{Chief, can you hear me, over?}"

"Huh? Dormouse?"

Brang's ears swivelled, while Ambrose was looking at me like I was delirious, so I raised a hand to my ear to signal that I was communicating with her.

"{I've got the Chief,}" my dear assistant said, probably to someone else near to her, then addressed me again. "{Where have you been? No, never mind, you can answer that later. We need you here, right now.}"

She sounded unusually tense, so I didn't mess around.

"What happened?"

"{Bel is here.}"

Her answer was short, but it took me a couple of long seconds to understand it, at which point the words "Goddamit, me!" involuntarily slipped out of my mouth.

"Hrm?"/"Huh?"

Ambrose and Brang were both stumped by my sudden outburst, but I didn't bother to explain myself and just unceremoniously passed the broken Grimoire Key over to the Faun and stood up.

"Please, look after him until I'm back. I'm needed elsewhere."

"[As thou command, Blackcloak.]"

I barely noted Brang inclining his head, because I was already in the process of looking for Judy's mark. One thing was for sure: this was definitely one of those days, and it was far from over…

Part 3

It was hard to put my feelings at this very moment into words. Trepidation? Enervation? Blood-curdling exasperation? One of those was closer to the money than the others, and it didn't take a genius to figure out it was the one with the extra adjective.

First, my perfectly cosy school athletics festival was disturbed by Ambrose's antics, then I got sick, then The Girl annoyed the heck out of me, then the Grimoire Key ended up broken, and then Bel appeared on top of all that? Twist the knife a bit more, why don't you?

That reminded me of the fact that The Girl (or rather, her portal, but same difference) up and disappeared right after we 'surrendered'. I didn't mind that though, because bloody hell, dealing with another emergency while a disembodied voice was one-sidedly pestering me wasn't my idea of a good time.

"{Chief, are you listening? There's a situation on the track field. Where are you?}"

For the record, Judy didn't count. More importantly though…

"The track field? Out in the open?"

"{No, inside a Restricted Space. Hurry, please.}"

"On it!"

In the meantime, I took a couple of deep breaths to get my mounting nausea under control. It wasn't nearly as bad as when I Phased to Ottawa, but I still hadn't fully recovered from that one, and I had a feeling I needed to be in top shape for this kerfuffle. Speaking of shapes, considering that I was dealing with Bel during this event, and that Josh and Angie were already present at the scene, it made sense to first shift my Leoformer into my Polemos outfit. Once I was mentally prepared, I honed in on Judy's mark.

Despite what she said, I found her inside our classroom on the second floor instead of the track field. By the looks of it, she was using the higher vantage point to get a better overview of the fight unfolding below. Or at least I figured that's why she was intently staring out the window.

"I'm here."

"Finally."/"{Finally.}"

I heard her voice twice over, both in person and through the communication artifact. Which reminded me…

"Why do you have that?" I asked, pointing at the snazzy party glasses sitting on her nose, and while it hid her eyes, I was pretty sure she squinted at me in disapproval.

"Foresight. Also, this really isn't the thing you should ask me about right—" Her words were cut short by a displeased grunt, and then a sigh. "Yes, he just got here."

"Josh?" I guessed, but she shook her head.

"No, Bel. He's on the same frequency as your communicator."

"Actually, the enchantments aren't using radio waves, so calling them frequencies is…"

"Chief. This really isn't the time to nitpick my terminology."

I had a rather snappy response on the tip of my tongue, but I quickly swallowed it back.

"Sorry, I'm kind of out of it. Not in the right headspace right now. I'll tell you about what happened later."

"You do that, but first, go to the field. Bel is telling me that you're needed for the next act."

"So… no situation report?" My enquiry was met with silence, so I rolled my shoulder and added a nonchalant, "Fine. Let's leave it to the debriefing."

With that said, I closed my eyes and focused my Far Sight on the nearby marks at the edge of my vision. By the looks of it, we had… quite a kerfuffle on our hands. Right off the bat, I could sense Josh and Angie nearby, along with Penny and Jaakobah. It was a bit hard to tell the marks apart when there were so many of them present, but those three felt a bit less fuzzy than the rest, so I figured they were the ones inside the Purple Zone.

Using that criterion, I also found a few more un-fuzzy marks belonging to Arnwald, Morgana, and Snowy. Based on the distance and direction, they were probably inside the school building. I could also sense the Praetorian Guards inside, which wasn't surprising considering Jaakobah's presence, but I had no time to properly check any of them because Judy was already looking at me impatiently. Or so I felt, but couldn't see because of the glasses, and…

I was veering off-track again. Damn, that trip to Ottawa really messed up my head, didn't it? I shook it hard to dislodge any stray thoughts and inhaled deeply before Phasing to the middle of the track field, and…

"Oh, look! Our tardy guest of honor finally arrived!"

Bel, aka future-me, exclaimed with glee, but I couldn't pay much attention to him, because my attention was immediately drawn to the blinding mixture of golden and deep crimson light overpowering the usual ambience of the Purple Zone. I wasn't the only one who was surprised though, as its radiance momentarily faltered.

"Focus, boy! I don't know how much longer I can hold the son of a bitch!" Angie… no, wait. That was obviously Deus. Again, my brain was still a bit slow, but more importantly, that comment made me realize that Bel was covered in numerous thin, brightly glowing golden chains. Was that something Deus cooked up to restrain Bel, I wondered.

Not for long though, as he let out a hearty laugh and spread his arms, snapping a few of the chains in the process. That was… actually pretty impressive. I mean, I knew first-hand how easy it was to accidentally dispel magic with just a twitch of my phantom limbs, so precisely breaking only the ones that needed breaking for the theatrics was quite tricky. There. Now no one could say I never gave myself any credit.

"Yes, boy! Do your best, boy!" Future-me called out to Josh between snickers. "Give me your best shot! No holding back! I don't want to hear any complaints tomorrow about how you would've totally got me if only you gave one-hundred-and-ten percent!"

"There won't be any tomorrow for you, bastard!" Josh yelled from the top of his lungs, and the eye-searing red-gold brilliance over his head intensified by another notch.

While I couldn't see it with my naked eyes, because of the whole 'magical equivalent of a welding arc' thing he was doing, the colour scheme told me that he was definitely charging up his beam attack. Meanwhile, Angie/Deus was kneeling next to him, with her arms stretched out towards future-me. An idle thought in the back of my head told me to look for Penny and Jaakobah, as they were supposed to be around here somewhere, but before I would even have the opportunity to search for them, Josh made his move.

Accompanied by the sound of thunder and an enormous gust of wind, the accumulated mana exploded into a thick pillar of dark red light intertwined with golden flames. The beam, as wide as a car, crashed into future-me, yet the moment it made contact it split into counters smaller streams. It kind of reminded me of high-pressure water from a hose hitting something stationary, and I had to say, watching future-me getting engulfed by it sent shivers down my spine. Was this how Judy felt when I blocked Xiao's dragon breath, I wondered.

The entire event only lasted for a few seconds, and once it was over… future-me still stood there, but he was in worse shape than expected. The clothes on his right side were torn and signed, and his right arm, now completely bare, was bloodied and covered in a mixture of cuts and burn marks. He stood still, arm outstretched, then suddenly stumbled before catching himself and giving his injured hand a good shake in the company of a jaunty whistle.

"Well, damn, boy! I might've underestimated you. That actually stung a bit."

In the meantime Josh fell to one knee, visibly exhausted. Which, to be fair, was still better than the way he immediately lost consciousness the last time he tried doing this, and… what was I doing here again?

"{Chief? Bel kindly requests that you do something.}"

"Ah, right!" I blurted out with a shiver and rushed over to Josh's side. While it was true that I only got here a few seconds ago, 'a few seconds' were a long-ass time in a battle, and the way I'd been standing around in mild confusion wasn't good for my image. Once I came to a halt next to the childhood friend couple, I also remembered to pull out Teeny and do a quick flourish before taking up a defensive stance between them and 'Bel of the Abyss', and only then did I glance behind my shoulder and ask, "Are you all right?"

"No, we're not!" Deus snapped at me while holding onto her boyfriend… I mean, Angie's boyfriend… I mean… whatever. More importantly, she glared at me and yelled, "Where have you been?"

"Sorry, I was kind of busy with a situation at the other end of the world. Cut me some slack." She didn't look like she would, so I hastily added, "What did I miss?"

"Oh, nothing major," a familiar voice called out nearby, and when I glanced over, I found that future-me Phased closer to us and stood with one hand on his hips, while the injured one kept limply hanging by his side. Then he suddenly burst out, "Only the official debut of my Axis of Evil, that's what!"

"Ugh!"/"Fiend!"

The childhood friend couple tried to rise to their feet in response to him closing the gap, but it only resulted in them both losing their balance at the same time and having to hold onto each other so as not to fall over. While they went back down onto their knees, future-me started walking up and down in front of me.

"Come on, Polemos! I planned this whole thing to surprise you! How could you stand me up like this? Tsk-tsk-tsk!" He abruptly halted, provocatively jerked his head in my direction, and shifted his tone into a decidedly ominous timbre. "For lesser men, I would've already painted the walls with their blood, scattered their bones in the four cardinal directions, and trapped their dog in a maze made of old musky cheese…" Only to then immediately shift back to friendly and upbeat. "But we do have a history, so… Eh? Just make sure you won't miss it the next time, okay?"

He also mimed a wink, but to be honest, I wasn't paying much attention to his smaller gestures. Or his words, because while he was talking, I was also getting a robotic message from him through the communication enchantment.

"{Once things have wrapped up around here, give me five minutes and then let's meet at the usual spot.}"

"Sure," I responded on autopilot, forgetting to use my phantom limbs to tap into his gear to deliver the message, but luckily my response kinda-sorta fit his previous words. Not that anyone had the time to raise a brow at me, because a second later…

"Yaaah!"

… Penny, clad in her Uniformer, burst into the scene, holding a throwing javelin like a two-handed sword and swinging it at the back of future-me's head. Of course, by the time she got close enough to capitalize on that, he already Phased out of her range. But why was she swinging a javelin, I puzzled as she came to a screeching halt next to me and hefted her weapon over her head.

"Brother, you're back! He's already injured! Quick, we must take down this villain here and now!"

"Oh my! If it isn't Dame Pegasus!"

"It's Unicorn!" my knightly sister yelled back at him and made another overhead feint in his direction.

"A horse is a horse," future-me responded flippantly and glanced around the battlefield. "Hm. I think this should be enough for our debut. We have to leave something for our next appearance, too!" He tried to clap, but then realized that his right hand wasn't moving quite right, so he gave up the effort and inhaled deeply instead. "Gather up, boys and girls! The party's over!"

He must've fully upgraded the old Bel costume to the new standards, because he evidently had the voice amplification enchantment installed in his mask, as professed by my aching ears. That also didn't help my residual nausea, and by the time I regained my wits, I was stumped to see that future-me was surrounded by a bunch of Bels, and more were coming over.

Wait, let me correct myself: people dressed like Bel and wearing the same masks, except with inverted colour schemes. There were six… nine… about fifteen of them? Give or take a few?

They were all bearing traces of a recent scuffle on them; some dishevelled coats here, some ripped fabric there, and one of them was even missing a shoe. However, they weren't alone, as these… 'Axis of Evil' guys, for lack of a better description, were closely followed by the Praetorian Guards, Arnwald, Morgana, and even Snowy.

My family members were wearing their Uniformers, but since nobody was expecting this development, they lacked weapons. The same couldn't be said about the Celestials, who were all showing off their magitech swords and shields and hammers and whips and everything. Except for Jaakobah at the forefront, who apparently left his gear at home.

"You're surrounded!" the usually dour agent declared with uncharacteristic gusto, and future-me responded with a delighted laugh.

"Indeed, indeed! What a pickle!"

I thought that was the end of it, yet just as he finished saying that, the whole Purple Zone shook like there was an earthquake, and out of nowhere, a red blur carrying a light brown blur appeared and landed right next to us.

"You dare set foot on the land of my School, Abyssal wretch?!" a familiar voice boomed, and once its source stepped up, I finally realized what just happened: Elly, in her Draconian form, flew Lord Grandpa into the Purple Zone. Why did they have to fly? Where did they come from? I had no idea, but at the very least it explained why I couldn't see the princess anywhere until now.

"Oh, my! It seems I spoke too soon! Now we're in a right pickle! The arch-mage is here, it's the end for us!" future-me exclaimed with the subtlety of a Shakespearean actor, complete with swooning and everything, only to suddenly stand up straight and let out a chuckle. "Come on, you didn't think I was going to say that, did you? Oh no, my lovely little sausages; this is but the beginning! But now, we must leave the stage. I have a prior appointment with some cookies, you see." He did a scraping bow, then added, "Look forward to the Axis of Evil's next exciting performance, coming to a place close to you! Don't forget to tune in, and until then… ta-ta!"

There wasn't even a beat after that. As soon as he finished talking, future-me and his fake Bels all disappeared at the same time, leaving the group encircling them at a complete loss for words.

"That is patently impossible!" Lord Grandpa roared in outrage and stomped his way over to the spot where they'd been just a moment ago. "How!? How can he move so many people through space without leaving any trace behind? What sort of preposterous magic is this!?"

I didn't know why he was so livid; future-me didn't do anything new, only the same thing as always, but more of it. More importantly, while I was still in a bit of a daze, the princess de-transformed and rushed to my side.

"Leo! Are you okay? Where have you been?"

"Didn't Judy tell you?"

"No! I mean, yes, she told me something was happening with Lord Ambrose and you had to leave, but then you-know-who showed up and…" She abruptly clamped a hand on her mouth and gestured for me to lean closer. Once I did, she whispered directly into my ear. "He showed up and told me to go and get the arch-mage, and then the Restricted Space was erected and… you know?"

I didn't, but there was something else in the back of my mind that demanded the light of day, so I blurted it out on the spot.

"Wait, now that I think about it… isn't the sports festival still ongoing? Is the masquerade blown wide open?"

"It's only the people present who were taken into the Restricted Space. The standard obfuscation effect of the should've covered our disappearance in the minds of the mundane folk. Hopefully," Morgana spoke up next to us, and in a minute or two, everyone was gathering around with me at the center. Including Judy. She must've headed downstairs as soon as I left the classroom to get here so soon, I wagered.

On my left, my girlfriends and my family. On my right, the Praetorian Guards were looking after Josh and Angie, with Jaakobah already performing some diagnostics. I could understand why; the last time Josh did that beam attack, he got some mana burns and his hands had to be wrapped up for days.

"If we go back soon, probably nobody will notice that we're missing." Snowy continued the previous train of thought. "P-Probably."

"We have more important things to consider at this very moment." Lord Grandpa, still furious, gestured at the violet-tinted world around us. "How did Bel of the Abyss gain access to the anchor point of the Persistent Restricted Space of my School?"

"I'll be damned if I knew, but…"

"Aw! I knew I should've hit him while I had the chance!" This latest interruption came from my Knightly sister. She was standing near the childhood friend couple and was angrily bending the throwing javelin in her hands so much that I wouldn't have been surprised if it snapped in half at any moment. "I could've punched him, but I waited for Brother to make the first move and I missed the opportunity to deal a blow to Bel of the Abyss!"

"That's a shame, but…" Josh was standing on shaky feet and his face was pale a sheet, yet he forced a strained grin onto his face. "We got him this time. He underestimated us, and we dealt some damage."

"It wasn't a decisive blow, but we finally broke the ice," Angie… or was it still Deus? Either way, she resolutely declared, "We proved that he isn't infallible, let alone invincible."

"Yes," her boyfriend agreed with similar determination. "If we can hurt him, we can beat him."

"Next time," said Angie.

"Next time," echoed Josh.

"Yeah, we'll surely get him then!" chimed in Penny, acting like a third wheel again.

"Chief, are you listening?"

I blinked, hearing the fourth voice addressing me, but before I could turn to face her, Jaakobah approached me and saluted.

"Lord Archon. Allow me to give my report."

"That can wait!" Lord Grandpa cut him off, nearly knocking the Praetorian Prefect over in his hurry. "Can you first please tell me what in the name of Sofia had you done in Ottawa?!"

"With all due respect, Lord arch-mage," Jaakobah pushed back, quite literally. "The appearance of Bel of the Abyss takes precedent over the matter of the Magi."

"Are you telling me what I can and cannot inquire about? On the grounds of my own School?!"

And then, as if the situation wasn't all over the place enough, someone tugged on my sleeve.

"Chief. I have a message for you."

That was the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel's back, and so I raised Teeny high over my head and infused the spear with mana, just to slam its butt end against the ground. It resulted in a loud bang that made everyone flinch and turn to me, and so I followed it up with a loud, "Can everyone just give me five bloody minutes to get my bearings?! Would that really be too much to ask?!"

Needless to say, there wasn't a single soul on the Purple Zone-ified track field who would utter a single sound after that, so I exhaled a long breath and leaned against my weapon. I wasn't being overdramatic when I said I needed five minutes. Heck, I needed much more than that; this day was just that bad. Unfortunately, I also had a feeling it still wasn't over…

Part 4

"Oh, there you are!"

As soon as we returned to the track field in realspace, we were greeted by a whole gaggle of our classmates clustered together in the middle. They weren't the only ones, as all the classes were gathered there, forming a relatively orderly mass while waiting for the winners of the sports festival to be announced by Mrs Applebottom.

It wasn't the end of the programme, because there were some games and leisurely activities planned after this, plus there were the stalls, but it was the end of the inter-class competition.

"Seriously, guys! Where have you been?" a placeholder classmate griped with his arms crossed. "You can't just up and disappear in the middle of the scavenger race like that!"

That also applied to Josh and Angie, but they weren't present at the moment, so the complaint was clearly aimed at me.

"Give me a break. I had a rough time and I'm not in the mood for this," I told John Stevenson… Or was it Steven Johnson?

I squinted at the guy and started to feel a bit awkward. I was feeling pretty good about being able to tell all our placeholder classmates apart as of late, yet the longer I looked, the less confident I felt about who he was.

…

Wow. Phasing to Ottawa did a number on my brain, didn't it?

Of course, he didn't know that, yet after a long beat that was anything but silent, courtesy of the crowd around us, he looked over my dishevelled girlfriends and I could almost see the proverbial light-bulb light up over his head.

"Had it 'rough', eh? Lucky sunovabitch…"

I didn't have the energy to correct the misunderstanding, so I just waved him off with a dismissive, "Yeah, sure, whatever," and glanced at the stage, where Mrs Applebottom was already holding a mic and raring to start her announcement. The rest of the 'faculty' were nowhere to be seen, which was understandable.

While I was still far from being able to piece together the full timeline, by this point I had a rudimentary understanding of the events that unfolded here, in my absence. The footnotes version was something like this:

I left to pick up Ambrose and the broken Grimoire Key (which was a whole other bugbear I couldn't be arsed to care about at the moment). Right after that, future-me hijacked the School's permanent Purple Zone, similarly to how Crowy did it way back when, and dragged in a select group. It included the childhood friend couple, my girlfriends, my family, plus Jaakobah and the Praetorian Guards on standby.

That was an eclectic group, but I was sure there was a method to this madness. Josh and Angie were a no-brainer; future-me was out to heckle them and set up the final stretch of the scenario. Judy was there to coordinate things on our end, while Elly's job was to break out of the Purple Zone and inform Lord Grandpa, who was the only person with the authority to forcefully enter and bring reinforcements, thus setting up the excuse for future-me to retreat without accomplishing much more than being a nuisance.

As for the rest… I had a feeling they were taken in just so that they would serve as opponents to the so-called 'Axis of Evil' future-me was making, and in that light, the choices made sense. Out of the whole group, Snowy was the most powerful by far, but she was also a conservative combatant who preferred to fight defensively, so she was the least likely to nuke the Purple Zone, while my knightly family members had no access to their weapons, limiting their damage potential. As for the Praetorian Guards… they were probably chosen to invoke the 'Worf Effect'.

It's a trope named after a character from a big sci-fi franchise; a big guy who was meant to be the strongest and toughest of the crew, but he got beaten up disproportionately more than anyone else to establish the threat level of the antagonist of the week. While the Celestials seemed fine on the surface, from what I could gather from Jaakobah's laconic debriefing, they had a lot of trouble keeping up with the 'Axis of Evil', and while I didn't realize it at the time, both hammer-lad and wetsuit-chap were taken out of commission by them.

So, while the battle-slash-performance was happening, the more dangerous and unpredictable combatants present at the athletics festival were locked out of the Purple Zone, and so they focused on other things. Naoren and Rinne guarded Xiao, the arch-mages ensured that nobody remembered seeing people disappear in front of them, while Duncan and the other armed Ordo Draconis personnel secured the perimeter.

They were still doing that even now, hence why only Mrs Applebottom was on stage. As for the aftermath, Lord Grandpa wanted to keep things under wraps for the moment, so he stayed behind to wrestle back full control over the anchor of the School's Purple Zone, while the rest of us pretended that nothing out of the ordinary happened over the last half an hour. Except for Josh and Angie, who were both exhausted and so they were now resting in the nurse's tent with Jaakobah, but that was it.

So, in conclusion…

"Chief?"

"Hm?" My train of thought was interrupted by Judy tugging on my sleeve. "What is it, Dormouse?"

"Is everything okay?"

"… Can you be more specific?"

"You zoned out," Elly chimed in from my other side. "You just stared ahead without blinking."

"I just… I was just thinking. Hard."

"Pfff!" John Stevenson, standing in the row in front of us, stifled a chortle. "Yeah, I'm sure you were 'hard' at something, amirite?"

"Cut it out, you moron!" another of our classmates, a tall girl with pale blue hair, whacked the guy in the back of the head. "It's their business, not ours. Stop being a nuisance."

"Bleh!" the guy grimaced but fell silent all the same.

Meanwhile, Judy rose to her tiptoes (even though she didn't really need to) and put a hand on my forehead.

"Hm. It's as I thought. You're feverish."

"Really? Let me check!" Elly followed, and she also put a hand on my forehead and cheeks. "Yes, a little."

"Did you over-exert yourself?" my dear assistant inquired, and my other girlfriend let out a slightly strained chuckle.

"Hehe. Do you remember when Leo used to be like this after every time something major happened?"

"I do, and I also remember telling him—"

"To be careful, yes, yes," I interjected and gently pushed their hands away. "I'll tell you the details later. By the by, do you think I showed my face enough already?"

My girlfriends glanced around and checked their phone, respectively, and Judy responded with a flat, "It's still a bit early."

"I need to go to the toilet first, so I think I should get going anyway."

"If you say so," Elly whispered and showed a reluctant smile. "Let's meet up back home after this and continue where we left off."

"Another round?" the guy in front of us blurted out, followed by a string of stifled curses. "Goddamit. Why is life so unfair? I want to have a frisky girlfriend too!"

"I told you to pipe down!" the tall girl whacked Steven Stevenson… or John Johnson… whatever. The point is, she hit him in the back of the head. They had quite the slapstick relationship, didn't they?

Anyhow, once I got permission from my girlfriends, I slipped out of the crowd and headed to the usual ground-floor restroom for the third time today. My destination?

"Here you are!"

The moment I appeared inside the out-of-the-way storage room of the underground base, I was greeted by a chipper voice from future-me, as well as an enthusiastic 'Nyu-nyu-nyuuu!' from Pudding-kun. The latter was sitting on top of the magitech Roomba I got from Mensah as a party gift, and he was riding it around like a tiny chariot.

However, before I could even take a second look, I was suddenly grabbed by the shoulder and pushed down onto a chair prepared in advance.

"Here, drink this," future-me told me on no uncertain terms as he dangled a bottle of mineral water in front of my nose. "All of it. You need it."

"I'm not particularly thirsty, but…"

"No, you literally need it. Your body is out of whack now, you just can't feel it, so rest up and hydrate yourself."

It was around this time that my eyes fully adapted to the dim lighting condition of the storage room, and I was surprised to see that future-me was not only still wearing his Bel costume, sans the mask, but his injured right arm was completely wrapped up in white gauze up to the fingertips, making him look like he just got a transplant from a mummy.

"Shouldn't you be resting after taking a hit like that?"

While saying that, I didn't forget to open up the bottle and take a sip. To my surprise, I found myself feeling violently thirsty as soon as the first gulp reached my stomach and I downed the rest in pretty much one go.

"That's one," he said nonchalantly as he snatched the small empty bottle out of my grasp. "I brought a few more, but let's space them out a bit." He handed it over to Pudding-kun, then turned back to me. "As for the arm, it's nothing major."

For emphasis, he flexed his biceps and wiggled his fingers.

"It looked pretty major to me," I grumbled, and I had a feeling I was forgetting something.

"Nah, it was mostly for show. Josh and Angie needed a morale boost and I needed a handicap. This way, we hit two birds with one stone." He circled his bandaged shoulder before continuing in a detached tone. "Invincible villains are cool and all, but if we want Bel's defeat to make internal sense, he needs to have at least a few vulnerabilities."

"Yeah, that makes sense, but…"

"All right, second bottle!" future-me cut me off and handed another water bottle to me. "Here you go. Now, listen. Before anything else, let's discuss the state of your body."

"… As in?"

"You're a bit disoriented and tired, right? Mild headache and nausea?"

"Yeah. The usual symptoms of…" I began, then frowned.

I wanted to say 'the usual symptoms of using my abilities too much', but once I gave it a second thought, I realized that I didn't have those for a while now. On the other hand, as soon as started Phasing around in Ottawa, they hit me like a truckload of bricks. Could it be that the reason why I no longer experienced these side effects wasn't because I got more used to my powers, but because the world around me got more solid and defined?

But I didn't remember Critias being particularly floompy, ever. Not the same way as Ottawa was, at the very least… but then again, I had no reference until now, so maybe it was, and I just couldn't see it because it was my 'normal'? But if that's the case, then…

"Focus!" future-me snapped at me by literally snapping his fingers in front of my face. "That's another thing you have a hard time doing at the moment, right?"

"Yes, but the Simulacrum—"

"Yes, yes, you're entirely correct about that," he cut me off without hearing me out. But then again, he was me, so he ought to know what I was thinking. "Listen, that isn't why you're feeling off right now."

"It isn't?"

"Nope." Future-me stood upright, grabbed a third bottle from the top of a crate, and tossed it to me. Wait, when did I finish the second one? There was no time to ask, as he barrelled on without giving me the opportunity to interject. "You were hit by restoration magic. It sounds all nice and dandy, but it's nasty stuff. Do you remember when we got that mana-burn from handling Onikiri?"

"Of course I do."

"Then you remember the thing about astral bodies as well," he stated, and I nodded along.

I mean, it would've been weird if I didn't. Astral bodies were like the metaphysical shadows of physical objects in a lower stratum of the Simulacrum. In colloquial use (as much as the term applied to a word like this) it was almost exclusively used to refer to living creatures, but enchantments were acting on the astral bodies of inanimate objects, so I was familiar with them both in the Doylist and the Watsonian sense. In fact, technically speaking the Oaths and enhancements of the Knights were effectively enchantment arrays engraved on their astral bodies, and…

"Our mana-burn was healed by Jaakobah by forcefully morphing the 'injured' parts of our astral body to match our corporeal one, effectively 'healing' it," future-me spoke firmly, jolting me out of my stray train of thought. "Normal healing magic works the other way around; physical injuries are matched to a 'healthy' astral body to reverse them, and it has to be done ASAP, because the astral body adapts to reflect the state of the physical body over time. Restoration magic doesn't just 'restore' things, but directly modifies astral bodies to cause corresponding effects in the corporeal ones. You were hit by one of those spells while you were in Ottawa."

"I thought I blocked all of those. Or resisted. Or… you know what I'm talking about."

"I do, and you're wrong," future-me told me cheekily and pointed at my forehead. "The Magi wanted to restrain you and Ambrose. That's why he was hit by contact spells that disabled his limbs. In your case, you were a higher priority target, so what you got was an instant knock-out spell, right in the astral body."

"But… I'm awake."

"Yep. You are," he said, and this time he outright poked my forehead. "But your body isn't. It's literally asleep right now, but because we don't sleep, you just keep moving it without realizing it. That's why your brain isn't working quite right at the moment."

"Oh. I see." I didn't, but I didn't want to get bogged into an argument with myself. "Should I be worried?"

"Nah. It's not that serious. Once we're done here, have Jaakobah diagnose you, just to be safe, but he'll tell you the same thing: rest, drink plenty of fluids, don't do anything strenuous, and try to avoid using the stairs. You'll be back to normal in a day or two."

I glanced down.

"I'm sitting, not straining myself, I'm hydrated, and there's no stairs in sight. Now what?"

"Now, you take a break here for a bit, and then once you have more of your faculties under control…" Future-me paused and gave me a sly grin. "All the pieces are finally in place on the board, so it's time we discuss the capital-P Plan."

"Better late than never," I grumbled before taking a sip from my bottle and preparing myself for everything. Or at least as much as a sleepwalker could do so under the circumstances.

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