They Wanted a Healer, I Gave Them Trauma

Chapter 42: Sir Prise Party (42)


Ahrie and Min tailed the carriage—slow, sneaky, stupidly suspicious.

Without the merchant noticing, they slid right in.

Smooth. Silent.

(Okay, not really silent. Min almost tripped on a barrel.)

They dropped their bags inside like it was their own damn ride.

Their eyes darted around.

Barrels. Pouches.

And then… there it was.

Their horse.

The slim bastard.

Sitting inside the carriage

The horse—turned its head, eyes wide.

Just when it was about to neigh.

Both of them lunged.

"Shhhhhhhh!"

Ahrie covered its mouth.

Min patted its face like a hostage negotiator.

The horse blinked, offended but silent.

Ahrie leaned close, whispering,

"Good. Stay quiet. We're getting revenge first…"

The horse just stared—

Wondering how it got involved in this nonsense in the first place.

"How much do you think that horse's worth, sir?"

The lone guard asked, tapping the reins.

The merchant smirked.

"Hmm… slim, yes… but it's a high-breed Etrahne. Rare. Nobles would throw coins for that—HAHAHA!"

His laugh was sticky and proud.

"Speaking of nobles," he added, "we've got an appointment later. A nobleman from Embergarde."

Ahrie and Min froze.

They turned to each other — grin, fist bump.

Operation Horse Revenge just upgraded to Noble Sabotage.

And then—

"I wish I could see the owner's face when they noticed their horse was missing," the merchant added, laughing again.

Both Ahrie and Min stared dead ahead.

Silent.

Smiles fading into pure murderous calm.

Ahrie whispered,

"Oh… you're gonna see a face, alright."

Min nodded.

"The last one you'll ever see."

The horse shifted, uneasy.

Even it felt the air change — shit's about to go down.

Ahrie was clenching his fist, jaw tight, eyes locked on the merchant's back.

Min tapped his shoulder. "Hold it in… hold it in…" he whispered.

Min glanced at the merchant and let out a short giggle. "You're fucked now."

The merchant reached his store, humming proudly. He stopped the carriage, stretching his back like a man who thought life was good.

He had no idea.

Ahrie and Min moved fast, quiet. They lifted their stuff off the carriage, one bag at a time.

Inside, their slim horse shuffled, hooves scratching. It was about to crawl out.

Ahrie turned, glaring so hard it stopped mid-move.

That look said everything—stay there, you fucker.

The horse froze.

It didn't blink.

Even looked confused.

The merchant slid the cover of his carriage open and grinned.

He and his guard dragged the slim horse down, laughing like they'd just won the lottery.

The horse stared at Ahrie and Min from afar—frozen, eyes wide,

Ahrie and Min didn't move for a while. Just watched.

Then they turned to each other. No words needed.

It was time.

They slipped away down the side road.

A few minutes later—

Min came back wearing a knight's uniform.

Ahrie followed, dressed like a nobleman

Where'd they get it?

They borrowed it from who knows where….

Just kidding, they stole it from someone…

I mean borrow… yes… borrow.

Ahrie and Min crashed into the merchant's place.

"Is this the place?" Ahrie asked, acting all high and mighty.

"Yes, young master," Min bowed, playing along.

The merchant and his guard were inside, with a few workers arranging stuff.

The merchant quickly approached, nervous but smiling.

"Hello, my lord… how's your day?" the merchant muttered.

"Not good. Because of you." Ahrie shot back, straight-faced.

Min almost burst out laughing.

The merchant blinked, confused. What did I do?

Ahrie began walking around the shop, looking at random things like a spoiled noble.

Min followed close behind, arms crossed, keeping his knight act.

The merchant trailed behind them, sweating.

Ahrie stopped and picked up a cool-looking vase.

"Hmmm…" he said.

"That, my lord, is an ancient vase found in the South Forest dungeon," the merchant started explaining. "It is said to—"

"How much?" Ahrie cut him off.

"W-well, due to its rarity, around 100 bronze coins or so…"

"I'll buy it," Ahrie said.

"Oh! Thank you very mu—"

SMASH!

The merchant froze. The vase was gone—shattered across the floor.

His soul nearly left his body.

He just stood there, staring at Ahrie.

"What?" Ahrie said. "I said I'll buy it. List it."

"Y-yes, young master…" the merchant stammered.

Min was dying inside, trying not to laugh.

Ahrie's lip twitched too, but he held it together.

They kept going.

Ahrie spotted a shelf filled with intricate glass figures.

"This?" he asked, pointing.

"Ah, yes! Those are glass sculptures crafted by one of the best sculptors fro—"

"How much?" Ahrie interrupted.

"U-uh… around 150 to 180 bronze coi—"

SMASH!

SMASH!

SMASH!

The merchant's guard took a cautious step closer.

"Sir, is this… okay?" he whispered.

"Don't mind him," the merchant replied quickly, his face twitching. "The rich have… different ways of having fun."

"I see," the guard said, though his expression screamed confusion.

Ahrie stretched his arm wide, brushing through the row of sculptures.

CRASH—CRASH—CRASH!

A domino of shattered glass followed.

"Eugh…" The merchant's voice cracked as he stared at the wreckage.

"How much?" Ahrie asked, brushing glass dust from his sleeve.

The merchant, half-laughing and half-crying, took out his list.

"S-so, you're at around 900 bronze coins…"

Ahrie glanced at Min—who was barely holding back his laughter.

Their eyes met.

"Do you want some too?" Ahrie asked.

"Of course, young master." Min winked.

Min turned toward the merchant. "Bring us your most expensive things! The young master's just getting started with his shopping spree."

The merchant froze, then forced a grin. "B-bring them… now!"

His workers scrambled in fear.

One by one, the merchant's workers brought out expensive items, trembling as they placed them before Ahrie and Min.

"This pot is made out of—"

WHAM!

"Err… this soft material is very popular—"

WHIISHHHK!

The merchant stopped explaining altogether. He simply handed the next item over.

SMASH!

Minutes passed. The sound of breaking glass and splintering wood filled the store until it looked more like a junkyard than a place of business.

Ahrie and Min stood in the middle of the chaos, satisfied.

"Ahhh… this hits the spot," Ahrie said, stretching his arms.

"Indeed, sir," Min replied, trying not to laugh again.

The merchant's lips twitched as he surveyed the wreckage that used to be his store.

"Do you have anything else for sale today?" Ahrie asked casually.

"Ah… yes, now that you mention it…" the merchant forced a smile. "Behold—a high-breed Etrahne!"

At his signal, a worker brought out a gleaming white horse.

The horse blinked, visibly confused.

It had no idea why this man—who'd been breaking everything in sight—was now about to "buy" it.

"I'll take it," Ahrie said immediately.

"Excellent choice, sir…" the merchant muttered, already dying inside.

"So what's my total?" Ahrie muttered.

"Ehh… urr…" The merchant fumbled with his ledger. "Your total is around 9 silver coins, young master. 6 for the… things you've broken, and 2 for the Etrahne."

Ahrie and Min tilted their heads in unison.

"How much is that in bronze coins?" Ahrie asked.

"Uhh… one silver coin equals one thousand bronze coins…"

"Wow. That's a lot, isn't it?" Ahrie said.

"It is quite a lot, sir," the merchant replied nervously.

Ahrie leaned closer. "Do you have that kind of money?"

"N-no, sir…" the merchant stammered.

"Thought so. So I'll give you a discount," Ahrie muttered.

"Eh?" the merchant blinked.

"I'll give you a discount?" the merchant repeated, confused.

"No! No! No! I'll give you a discount!" Ahrie barked back.

"Huh…" The merchant looked at his guard.

The guard shrugged. "How does that even work?"

"I don't fucking know," the merchant whispered.

Ahrie grinned. "Instead of 9 silver coins… you'll give me 500 bronze coins."

"Eh?!" Both the merchant and his guard shouted in disbelief.

Then, the store's broken door creaked open.

"Eugh… is this supposed to be the place?" a man muttered.

"Yes, young master," his butler replied.

The man looked around, disgusted. "What a disgrace… this place is a dumpster. Let's go."

The butler stayed behind, cleared his throat, and said coldly,

"The young master of Embergarde is dissatisfied with your courtesy. Your store will no longer be allowed to branch into Embergarde as per contract."

Then he slammed the door shut.

Silence.

The merchant's jaw dropped. Ahrie and Min stood there, barely holding back their laughter.

"Huh? That's the nobleman we're supposed to meet?" the merchant muttered.

"Then who are these people?" the guard asked.

Ahrie and Min dramatically posed.

"It is I… Sir ShattersALot," Ahrie declared.

"Figures," the merchant sighed, staring at the guard.

"Yeah, he did shatter quite a lot," the guard replied.

"And I'm Sir Prise," Min said proudly.

"Sir… Prise? What kind of name is that?" the guard muttered.

"Ehem," Min said, cracking his knuckles. "Allow me to demonstrate."

He slowly walked toward the guard.

Then—WHAM!—the guard got punched straight to sleep.

"Sir Prise punched! Whehehehe!" Min laughed.

Ahrie stepped on the guard's face, grinning like a villain.

"So where's the money?" he said, dropping the nobleman act completely.

"Like hell I'd tell you!" the merchant shouted.

SLAP!

Ahrie slapped the merchant across the face. "I'm not gonna ask again." His stare said everything.

The merchant trembled, scrambled to his desk, and handed over the coins.

"H-here you go, s-sir…"

WHAM!

Min punched the merchant to sleep.

"Sir Prise~! Wheheheh!" Min snorted.

"Stop with the pun already. We get it," Ahrie muttered, counting the coins.

He pocketed 50 bronze coins and tossed the rest toward the frozen workers.

"Here. Find another job," Ahrie said casually.

"T-thank you, sir…" one worker stammered, bowing.

"Fuck off," Ahrie muttered.

They left the store with the slim horse tagging along.

At the park, the horse was in tears. It thought it was done for.

But it was.

Ahrie and Min both punched the top of its head.

"You fucker! How the hell did you get caught?!"

"You weakass, slim, pathetic horse!"

The horse cried louder.

"Eat good food! Exercise! Grow strong, you useless piece of shit!"

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