Was I screaming? It felt like I was screaming. But no. I was completely silent, at least on the outside. After all this time spent hiding my real emotions and thoughts from my family, I was able to keep all the screaming limited to inside my mind. Anthony. Oh God, Anthony. I saw his body. I saw him die. Those horrific memories kept flashing every time I closed my eyes. I could open them and see the massacre in front of me, or close them and see the one I'd witnessed as a child. How could I make that sort of choice? I… I…

I opened them. Not because I wanted to see what was in front of me. Not because I'd actually decided that seeing my memories was worse than seeing this current thing. No, I opened them because these people deserved that. Casura wouldn't care, and she would almost certainly destroy the evidence before anyone else found it. If these-- if this tragedy, this horror was going to be remembered by anyone, if anybody was going to give a shit about what happened here, it had to be me. It didn't matter how sick it made me. It didn't matter how horrified I was, or how much I wanted to curl into a ball and never look at it again. These people deserved to have someone who cared remember them. So I opened my eyes. I looked. I remembered.

What was I supposed to do? Standing there, facing the mutilated and horrifically murdered body of a woman I'd barely known anything about, I just… froze. I'd decided to look at them, but beyond that… what?

This woman, Hyperkey, was a Fell. She had done some bad things, she'd tried to hurt me and Dani, and had clearly intended to try again. But this? This was… she was dead, they were all dead, because they were involved with me. Yes, she was a villain, a thief, but so were Dani, Ryder, even Broadway. And others who did bad things but didn't deserve to die. This woman, and her companions, they didn't deserve this.

They didn't deserve it. This only happened because they might have distracted me, and Casura couldn't let that happen. She wanted all my attention for herself. So, she killed them. And not even quickly, from what I could see. They died horribly, all these people, the entire gang. Fells and Prevs alike were-- oh God. Casura had fun. She enjoyed herself, and these guys suffered.

Was it strange to feel so much grief in that moment? I barely knew this woman, or any of the rest at all. I'd encountered them once as enemies, and even that really hadn't been all that personal or anything. They didn't even realize they'd stolen Dani's lizards. Now, just because of that one choice, because that one member had grabbed that bag, they were all dead. No trial, no judge, no chance. They had been strung up, massacred, torn apart, and probably tortured if the look of them right now was anything to go by. The gang had died because they were connected to me in a tiny way.

Guilt. Disgust. Fear. Horror. Responsibility. Rage. All those feelings and more washed over me in those long, lingering seconds as I stood in place and just stared that way in absolute silence.

I wanted to run away. I wanted to flee and never look back. But I kept forcing myself to look at them. I forced myself to take in the entire scene, staring at one body before shifting my gaze just a little to the next one. Over and over, I memorized every body, every wound, every bit of blood and other fluid. I let the images sear themselves into my mind so I would never forget any of them. They deserved that much.

I only realized I was crying when the tears became too much for me to see through. Blinking the stinging droplets away quickly, I took a few steps that way. I didn't want to. God, I didn't want to go closer to those bodies. The truth was, I didn't even fully comprehend why I was moving that way at all until I finished doing so and turned to face Casura. That was why. Moving closer to the bodies had been about putting myself on their side, not hers. Obviously, that was all but entirely pointless to anyone but me in that moment. But it really mattered to me, more than I could say.

From Casura's body language, she was equal parts amused and curious while watching me go that way. The woman waited with almost surprising patience, even as I turned slowly to face her. The dangling corpse of Hyperkey was just to my right and slightly behind me. I could still see some of it from the corner of my eye, which was… yeah, it didn't exactly help the way my voice shook when I faced that evil bitch and gave a short, snapped, "You are a fucking monster."

She laughed. It was a short, clipped, actually fairly surprised sound, like she couldn't believe I was saying that right then. I'd genuinely taken her off guard. "This is what makes you realize that, kid?" Her head shook, a soft chuckle escaping the woman before she added, "Amazing."

I wanted to snap at her. I wanted to tell her exactly what I thought of her. I wanted to throw my body that way and pummel her as hard as I could. I wanted… so many things that all would have been completely useless. I couldn't actually hurt her. Not like this, not now. But knowing that didn't actually help that much. The rage I felt, the helpless horror, the grief for these damn people I didn't even know beyond the fact that they'd tried to hurt Dani and me, it all rose in a violent flood of emotions that were almost enough to make me give it a shot anyway. Yeah, it was dumb. It was idiotic. But I was still this close to saying fuck it and launching myself that way.

Paint. She'd said she'd quit if I hit her with every color paint. Would my rainbow paint count? It was every color at once. I wasn't sure, but in that moment, all I wanted to do was hit her with something. Details be damned. My hand snapped out, sending a shot of the stuff that way before I could even consider how stupid this might be. Scratch that, how stupid it was. We had a plan. There was a plan. But I didn't care. I just… I just wanted to hit her.

It didn't work, of course. My paint crossed about half the distance between us before stopping. The rainbow spray hovered there. I didn't teleport to where it was. She'd disabled that effect or… or something. Whatever she did, the woman watched the colorful paint dangle in the air for a moment, then gave a little flick of her hand and made it disappear.

She didn't even bother saying anything about it. She didn't threaten me, didn't mock me, didn't tell me to try better next time. She didn't address it at all. It was like nothing had happened. It wasn't worth acknowledging in the slightest.

I desperately needed something to distract me before I did something that dumb. Dumber than shooting paint at her. At least that she'd told me to try. And in the end, as my brain flailed around trying to find something to latch onto that would accomplish that, it actually found something. I had a thought that made me stop and think about what I was seeing here. When I voiced that thought, it came out strained, barely comprehensible. "The blood." My chin lifted as I reiterated the point more clearly. "Why is there blood? You use blood."

"Aww, that's so sweet, are you really worried about me?" Casura cooed, bizarrely and clearly intentionally misinterpreting the question. "Don't fret, little guy, I'm just fine. I took what I needed from the useful ones. It's not like I have to take blood from everyone. If they had a chance to do some real investigating, the authorities would've figured out that none of this blood comes from the people with powers. I took all of that. But the rest of them? Why would I take that? It'd be like eating the wrapper the cookies come in. They were useless, I didn't need anything they had."

Oh goody, apparently it actually was possible for me to feel worse about this whole thing. Was it bad that I was offended on behalf of the people who had been murdered that Casura didn't even want to absorb their blood to use their knowledge and skills? It wasn't like it would actually make any difference to them, obviously. But somehow, knowing that she didn't even care enough to take the blood from them just… it made the horror that much more impersonal and pointless. As if there had been any point to begin with. It made me want to scream till my throat completely gave out.

Instead, I dropped my gaze to stare at the floor. Or rather, at a line of dried blood on that floor. I gazed at that stain, feeling my emotions swirl and twist inside my stomach so much it was like I was about to completely turn inside out. Those images of the bodies I had seared into my brain danced through my soul as I forced myself to take one deep breath after another. It was like I could hear the screams and cries of these people. Enemies. Fells. Thieves. They didn't deserve this. None of them deserved this. It didn't matter what they did or who they were. They didn't deserve what happened to them. What they deserved, what they all deserved, was real justice.

My head lifted, gaze tearing itself away from that stain so I could look at the woman who was the cause of all this. As our eyes met through our respective helmets, I took another breath, holding it for a long second before letting it out as the words came. "I'm going to stop you. Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, I don't care. I am going to stop whatever you're really planning here." Even with my rage boiling over, I had the sense to act like I didn't know her actual goal.

"Well, this is unexpected." Once again, Casura sounded amused. And who could blame her? I was nothing compared to the sort of threats she was accustomed to dealing with. This sort of threat coming from me was basically like an ant shaking its fist (did ants have fists?) at the Hoover Dam and vowing revenge. There was nothing to make me any sort of real threat to her.

But I didn't care. Logic be damned, whatever it took, somehow I was going to stop her for good. Not just her plan right here. Up until this point, I had been resolved to only being able to maybe stop her from this particular goal, if I was lucky. But now, after this, I was going to find a way to make sure she never hurt any more people. I was going to find some way to stop her for good.

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"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're taking it seriously," she was saying, her voice as casual as it had ever been. It was absolutely clear that she didn't see me as an actual threat in any way. "Though I think your little friends might be kind of offended that it took this for you to get mad at me. But whatever, you just tell yourself whatever you have to. As long as you're giving it your very best shot, I'll be happy. When this all comes to a head, make sure you'll always be able to say you actually tried."

There was a lot I wanted to say to that. Things that might've pushed her beyond just being all casual like this. As stupid and honestly bizarre as it was, part of me wanted to say something that could make her angry, just to put a stop to that uncaring, casual voice once and for all. I just wanted to make her feel as much as I was feeling then, no matter how idiotic that impulse was.

Thankfully, I managed to restrain the impulse with some effort, and just nodded. "I'll do my best."

"Good!" the evil woman chirped in a bright, happy voice. "Can't wait to see what you come up with, Paintball. Maybe you'll even surprise me." From her tone, it was clear she didn't actually expect that, which somehow managed to offend me even more than I already was. As if I really needed more reason to want to find a way to punch this evil piece of shit in the face repeatedly.

I was still absorbing that and working to keep myself under control as she gestured. "Now, time for you to get on out of here. You've got another match to run through if you wanna get a better ring, you know. And I've got this mess to clean up. Can't have the authorities finding this place and figuring out I'm in town before my grand reveal. I'll just make sure these bodies disappear."

Just as I'd thought, she wouldn't actually risk leaving these corpses around like this. If I found a way to lead the Shields or Stars back here without actually telling them it was Casura, there was a slight chance they might figure it out on their own and call in reinforcements before Saturday.

The last thing-- okay, one of the last things I wanted to do in that moment was look at all those bodies again. They were already seared permanently into my brain. But I did it anyway. Again, I owed these people that much. I couldn't bring them back to life, I couldn't erase the damage that just having an interaction with me had caused. But I could make absolutely certain that I would never forget them. I could force myself to turn and look one more time before Casura made all of their bodies disappear for good. I could look at them, stare at those dead people, and silently swear that their deaths wouldn't be as pointless as they seemed to be now. I could promise to stop her. I could swear to make their deaths mean something.

And with that, after letting the horrific sight brand itself against my soul one more time, I turned away and took those few steps back over to the evil bitch who caused all this. She, in turn, just wished me good luck in my upcoming matches, like all this was a totally normal outing, and teleported me to the tunnel entrance right outside the stadium with a vague wave of her hand.

I didn't go right inside immediately. No, the very first thing I did, after realizing where I had just appeared, was stumble off into the trees. By some miracle I managed to retain enough thought to shove my helmet off, letting it bounce along the ground while I fell to my knees. My fingers pushed up the bottom part of my mask just in time before basically everything I'd eaten in the past day came roaring out of my stomach. I clutched the ground, digging into it with a whine as I threw up violently. The tears were back with a vengeance, blinding me once more. Not that I had anything useful to look at. I didn't need a visual reminder of my stomach contents. The smell and burning sensation in my throat were more than enough. My head dropped as I cried like that.

There was no way for me to tell how long that lasted. I could've knelt there for a few minutes, or thirty. The shame, dread, and anger just kept boiling up inside me, taking up every bit of strength I had. I couldn't make myself stand up until enough of those emotions had been so intensely expelled. And once they had, I still continued to kneel there, eyes closed while the tears fell. Only when I was completely cried out did I manage to push myself back to my feet. My hands were shaking until I tightened them into fists. Mechanically, I kicked some dirt over the evidence of my stomach contents, then turned to face the building with the tunnel. No more indulging in my emotions like that. I would let that anger sustain me, push me, drive me through the rest of these events. But I wouldn't let it cripple me. I was going to take all of that and use it as fuel.

It was time to go back in there and start my next match. And if I had anything to say about it, when all this was finally over, Casura would be the one who truly regretted ever knowing me.

***************

So, over the next day and a half, I kept those thoughts in mind as I went through the last few matches. And it worked. When everything was said and done, I had all the points I needed for a ruby ring. More than enough, actually. I'd needed twenty total LEAT points for one of them, and I came out with a full twenty-two. Even with the distraction of having to deal with Amanda fucking Sanvers doing her best to get all the info she could out of me about Maki, I still won the points.

I also found out more about what happened with the Minority back in Detroit, about those weird, obviously powerful and experienced Fells they'd fought and how intent they'd been on stealing the contents of that Touched-Tech evidence vault. A thing they'd actually managed to pull off, unfortunately. So yeah, we had those people to worry about causing even more problems somewhere down the road. As if we really needed something else to be thrown onto the pile.

Apparently there was more to that whole thing. Amber made that much clear in her calls and texts, but also insisted that she'd tell me about it once I was back home. She wanted me to focus on the games here and enjoy my vacation. The girl had no idea what was happening.

Or at least, that was what she said in my texts. Which, for anyone who might possibly look into it, would absolutely look like they were coming from Detroit. Mostly thanks to the special VPN type thing Ryder and Wren had rigged up real quick so Amber could text from right next to me and make it look, to any technical inspection, like she was over fifteen hundred miles away.

Yeah, Amber knew the truth. Not because I'd told her, obviously. I couldn't. But Dani could, and she'd made sure the other girl was aware of what was going on as soon as she got out of that temporary quarantine. She also helped make sure Amber could make it down here to Phoenix to help out when the time came. But the part about not telling me anything else about what really happened back there was true. It was just that we were face to face when she said she didn't want to distract me with more issues. The rest of the Minority 'and some help,' whatever that meant, were working on it. She just said she'd tell me more when this situation was dealt with.

Shockingly, knowing there was yet another problem going on back home, but not having any details about it, didn't exactly make me feel better about… anything, really. But on the other hand, Amber was probably right that knowing the whole story wouldn't help either. Was it worse to wonder or know for sure? I had no idea. I was just going to have to trust that the girl was right when she said the details could wait, and that the others were doing everything they could.

The real point was that Amber was here to help when this whole thing finally went down, which was one more Touched on our side ready to deal with whatever went wrong. Because there was no way in hell I was actually going to believe this would go off without a hitch. The plan was for me to warn everyone about Casura, pissing her off so much she went teleporting straight back to the place where she had her hostages stashed. As soon as she did, Amanda's shield thing would kick in and teleport her to an area where Caishen and all her people were waiting to ambush her. At the same time, Paige and the others would be teleported to another place, where the rest of the team would be waiting to just… make sure they were safe. If it all worked, we wouldn't actually fight at all.

Yeah, I didn't expect it to work out like that. I wasn't sure what would go wrong, exactly, or how we would end up having to fight after all. But I was still glad Amber would be right there with us.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't be right next to me while I was exposing Casura's plan. Which, to be honest, was probably the most likely time for her to lose her shit and lash out. Sure, I would have a bunch of other Touched around me in that moment, but what were the odds that they would actually react quickly enough after a shock like that to jump in before Casura did her worst?

The fact that I had to hope she would be so angry at me she just went running straight back to murder the people I cared about rather than try to hurt me directly was even more proof of what a completely fucked up situation this really was. I couldn't wait for it to be over and done with. But at the same time, I was terrified about how quickly the end seemed to be rushing toward me.

Honestly, I probably wouldn't have slept at all Friday night. Which really would've put a bit of a damper on how well I could fight when things inevitably went wrong. But that was where Dani came to the rescue. She had provided some sort of pill that would help me sleep, and convinced everyone else to essentially threaten me into actually taking it. They insisted I needed to be at my best, and that meant genuinely sleeping. Gee, it was almost like they knew me or something.

In any case, they were right. If I was going to be of any use at all when things went down, I had to sleep. I told myself that putting up with the guilt of sleeping through the night, while the others were finishing up the last of our plan, was part of my oath to do whatever it took to stop Casura.

Then it was Saturday morning. Deck had been working on those rings, and must've had them as ready as they could be. The teleportation shield was prepared. Caishen had her people on standby for what they all believed was some sort of big training exercise (they would be told the truth once they were all in place and there was as little chance as possible that any of them could give anything away), and I was as rested as possible. And fed too, having just finished choking down breakfast alongside Izzy. She was watching me like a hawk, ensuring I actually ate something and didn't go skipping off with an empty stomach.

I'd told her, and the others, about the massacre Casura had shown me. Dani had been the most disturbed, obviously. Everything I tried to say to her about it not being her fault and having nothing to do with her had seemed as useless as the others saying it to me had felt. It didn't matter that it wasn't our fault. It didn't matter that Casura was the one who chose to kill them, not us. They were still dead because they had a connection to us, faint as it was. We had to live with that.

Fortunately, with any luck, living with it would be easier as soon as this was over and Casura was dealt with. And hey, if this went wrong, maybe we wouldn't have to live with it at all anyway.

With food in my stomach, queasy as it felt, a full night's sleep behind me, and the knowledge that the others were going through the last steps of getting everything ready, I pushed myself away from the table and stood up. My eyes met Izzy's as I spoke words that the rest of our family would hear, but only we knew the real meaning of. "Come on, let's get to the stadium.

"I can't wait to see how this ends."

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