Questions, hmm?

The whole situation reminded him of how Alec had once let him mess around with his class with minimal guidance, letting Lev arrive at the conclusions he thought best. It had largely worked, though he still wished not to be so in the dark sometimes.

Now, submerged in dark waters that allowed him to stay there indefinitely, he wasn't so ignorant. Life had been unpredictable at the best of times, and none of his advantages had proven to be beyond the horrors of Monarch. He was, at the end of the day, still human.

The lessons were impossible to forget.

Let's see, he took a deep breath and calmed his mind as much as possible. Harun straight up doubted my goals, yet I can't even blame the man. He must have seen more than I know.

Gradually, Lev's aura spread out into the pond, enveloping it all until he felt light as a feather. Only now was he realizing that it actually weighed slightly on his mind to keep it close and not spread out. Curious, but nothing that mattered right now.

Going past the limits of The System and conquering Monarch while doing so… he began in his mind, keeping half an eye on his aura and any changes. That is still the end goal, if it is even possible, even if things have changed considerably for the journey. There are actual gods out there, our lands are lost, there is no way off Monarch, and fifth-threshold monsters are real.

No hints of disapproval or any similar emotion were present in his aura, so he continued in his head, mapping out his steps from the present state.

Assuming this meditation session doesn't change anything drastically, the first order of business is to expand my bubble and train while defending the cities. My team…

For the first time, doubts crept into his aura. They weren't minor either, but a cacophony of different negative emotions, intense enough to make him gulp. Lev didn't break his calm state, but the shuddering breath that followed came close to doing so.

Guilt, he noted with a chuckle in his head. Fitting, I suppose.

His thoughts about joining a team were… mixed, as displayed by his aura. To begin with, they were random strangers who may or may not approve of Lev's methods of doing things. Granted, he planned to change them quite a bit in the upcoming days, but not working under someone's thumb was going to remain a constant. He liked his freedom too much.

Then there was the matter of strength, the main reason they were going to be a team to begin with. Would they be disheartened to see all his advantages? What if his very existence eroded their spirit and resolve? Were they going to be as strong as him, or was there always going to be a barrier between them because of the obvious gap?

On the other hand, what if they saw him as an obstacle? The thought was mostly irrational, borne of his fear of losing friends and found family, but what if they genuinely saw him as a rival to overcome? With his uncaring attitude, that was very much a possibility. Life was rarely predictable.

Minutes passed as his thoughts spiralled, going from obvious concerns like personal strength to utterly ridiculous worries such as beauty standards. Somehow, his mind conjured up teammates to be so good-looking that Lev felt like an outsider simply because of their faces.

That finally caused him to snap out of that bottomless pit of worries.

Where the hell did that even come from? he wondered, a faint smile tugging on his lips through the meditative state. There really is no point in pondering about them, is there?

Orianna and Alec's words came to mind. Both of them were certain that the team wouldn't be a burden, and Sherron also recently approved of the fire enhancer. Lev repeated their message several times in his head until the meaning truly settled in, reducing his uneasiness about the uncertain future considerably. It would be much more useful to focus on himself instead. There were many flaws in his being.

My being… his mind turned solemn, arriving at the heart of the issue. His mere presence had already killed dozens of hunters, which did not bode well for his team at all. Accompanying him would mean subjecting them to all the horrors he attracted to his position, like the executioner beetle probably was.

Even if they were killed by monsters, it was his hands that were going to be bloodied.

Lev kept his eyes tightly shut, discomfort and worry swirling in his heart. The options were few, and even fewer were realistic. No matter what he did, they were eventually going to go beyond the walls together. His protection would stop being enough after that, and whatever was after his life could just as easily reap theirs.

I won't let you, his fists unknowingly clenched hard enough that his nails dug into his skin, painting the water in barely noticeable shades of red. Lev's aura trembled as he imagined all the ways things could go wrong, yet he was always there, ready to take on the world. The aura matched his thoughts perfectly.

Not again. Whatever you are, you will not find me so weak ever again. No matter what you send, I will be there, ready to tear it to shreds. The warg was the last time you will ever come so close to killing me.

A thin blanket of calm settled over his mind after that proclamation. To Lev, it felt like only moments had passed, but hours were going by quickly as the plans for the future related to his team became obvious.

He was going to train them, and they were going to spare the cruel world no quarter. Terrifying monsters wanted them dead? Good. They would welcome them all with open arms, delighted to see the free levels conveniently deliver themselves to his team.

And Lev was going to be at the spearhead of it all. It didn't matter if they didn't reach his expectations and couldn't keep up with him. As long as he breathed and his team didn't give up hope, he would make sure that they were never broken. He wasn't willing to give the world the satisfaction of their deaths. Not now, not ever.

Slowly breathing out, Lev allowed himself a contented smile. His fears hadn't just vanished into thin air, but they now had a much weaker hold on him. Beatrice had already asked him to promise not to isolate himself, and he intended to stay true to his word. Letting his worries guide him was no longer an option, especially on the path of greatness.

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Man, this water sure does wonders, Lev mused distractedly, completely oblivious to the fact that two days had passed since he entered the pond. Feeling much lighter than before, he let his mind wander again, inevitably thinking back to his time spent with Orianna.

Who is Orianna to me?

That was a question that he should've tried to answer a long time ago. He and Orianna were extremely close by most standards, just short of treating each other like a parent and child. Except that wasn't even close to the truth. Lev had never seen Orianna as a guardian figure, and she probably never saw him as her own blood either.

Then… what? What does she mean to me? More importantly, do I even care about the answer?

He didn't, and his aura agreed. It didn't matter that Orianna was fifty times his age or whatever. She treated him like someone precious, and Lev would happily die for her. It was that simple.

What about Sherron, then?

The answer to that question, at least in his opinion, was simpler. Sherron treated him like a little brother, especially since she wasn't averse to messing around, unlike Orianna. And similar to the fire mage, he cared about Sherron just as much, more than enough to give up his life for her.

Alec… is Alec, he thought with a small chuckle, the movement not disrupting his mental state. He definitely doesn't treat me like Sherron or Orianna, but much more like a precious disciple, which is perfectly fine by me. I can't even imagine ever calling him a brother, or Monarch forbid, father.

Lev broke out in snickers, ruining his meditative state before breaking out into full-blown laughter. The mere thought of being disowned as a disciple because he called the man 'father' was making his amusement teeter at the edge of hysteria.

Okay, okay. Deep breaths, Lev tried to control himself as some giggles still escaped. He won't be that harsh. I reckon he will just stare at me… with the most disbelieving expression possible.

The mental image was too funny, preventing him from calming down for a good while.

That leaves… me. Just the little old Lev, he snorted lightly, sinking deep into the meditative state of mind. I'm an adult now, even in this life. About time I try to figure out who I want to be.

Lev spent a few minutes thinking in silence. Then a few more, before that turned into hours. Eventually, it became a struggle to maintain his calm because no matter what threat of thought he latched onto, there was no answer.

Not a single one.

Clearly, I'm going about this the wrong way, he chuckled uncertainly in his head, not liking how complex the task was turning out to be. Let's start from the start.

I was reborn in this world with no apparent purpose or reason. Just popped in here, somehow an orphan once again. My parents were only Adept hunters who died in an abrupt wave, which is far from abnormal…

A deep sigh escaped his lips as the delusions of having a happy family infiltrated his mind once again. He could've had it all. His titles would ensure that he would be strong, no matter what. Maybe he would've come home to loving parents, who always waited for him to return to retell his adventures and other goofy activities. An older brother would've doted on him for being so reliable, or perhaps a younger brother would look up to him with stars in his eyes. That could just as easily be a sister, one he would tease for no reason whatsoever, as everyone laughed around the dinner table.

So close, yet so far.

… I was reborn here through sheer luck, he deduced as a single, solitary tear fell from his right eye. No purpose, no demands, no other reason. Nothing that stands out as a task that only I could accomplish when people like Hakim and Drakys exist.

Who am I, then?

The simple question lingered in his head, urging him to find an answer. Yet, all it evoked was a tired breath, one loaded with emotion. His identity was always shrouded in mystery for people, but even now, if Beatrice asked who he was, Lev couldn't tell her anything beyond his name.

He just… existed. There was nothing meaningful attached to the person named Lev, one who was supposedly one of the strongest Adepts to have ever existed.

Sure, he was a Master mage and a platinum hunter, but those things simply weren't the same for him. If anything, they were the least he expected from himself and his class. Which left him at square zero once again.

Who am I? Lev asked himself again.

He was someone who won the heart of Orianna, somehow tamed Sherron's fury, earned the care and apprenticeship of Alec, inherited some of the power of Drakys, weasled Hakim's silent approval, and above all, managed to attract the attention of beings far beyond comprehension.

His present was infinitely richer than anyone his age could claim, but what had he done with it all? Beyond his eternal quest of acquiring ever-increasing amounts of personal power, what was he supposed to do in life?

Time's passage sped up as Lev's mind gradually went over every option, slowly dismissing possible futures while holding onto whatever seemed promising. It was like slicing off the deadweight, freeing it from the burdens weighing it down. He needed it to be focused forward, ready to tackle the tumultuous future head-on.

Hours passed as his aura fluctuated, sometimes in annoyance, sometimes in palpable grief. Vision after vision swarmed his head, born of conjectures and common knowledge.

Several facts became obvious in the passage of days. The most obvious being his thoughts about leading the masses.

That was just not an option.

Regardless of how strong he became or how much he trained himself to be a social climber, Lev refused to take on the burden of more lives than absolutely necessary. He was going to protect the cities from waves and scout the outer walls for any horrors aiming to enter their lands, but that was already enough. His team's protection was also going to fall on his shoulders. Keeping both him and his team alive through whatever his presence called was going to be a gruelling task.

Personal strength was what he excelled in, but if he had to disregard that and take on the mantle of ruling and politics? He would much rather flee into the Grand Forest. His very being and his aura both rebelled at the notion of being a figure of hope and justice to look up to, though only if it wasn't based on his exploits outside the safety of city walls.

Then came the prospects of being a renowned crafter, and oh boy. There was so much potential packed in that thread of possibilities that Lev didn't even know where to begin and end the pondering.

He bypassed that issue entirely by just dealing with crafting as time went by. No need to rush skills that need practice, decades worth of it.

It all boiled down to how Lev wanted to proceed further with acquiring power. So far, it was no secret that he had thrown tantrums to get his way, and was only allowed to meander around on his own because it was a feasible method of evolving.

That ended now. Masters were strictly regulated to ensure the best prospects for humanity as a whole, and Lev needed to do his part. No longer was he an insignificant hunter who couldn't make a difference on any meaningful scale. Whenever he went, his class and advantages would leave their mark, both taking the burdens off the shoulders of others as well as accelerating progress.

Being a brat was no longer going to cut it.

Damn you all, he thought with an embarrassed smile. All this while, I was trying to make you all act more casually. Instead, it's I who's planning to be more professional and controlled. How the hell did this even come to be?

There wasn't much to consider. Be it Alec, Orianna, or even Sherron, everyone was fully dedicated to their purpose, never letting time go to waste. They were akin to legends in their chosen professions, yet they hadn't ever treated him as lesser. A child, sure, but never without warmth.

He wouldn't dare disregard their affection. No matter how much he wanted to be free of burdens, or however he wanted to avoid people getting caught in his problems, it wasn't healthy or feasible to isolate himself any longer.

There were people in the world who didn't wish for him to be lonely, after all. It was the least he could do for them.

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