Wade stared at his phone, thumbs flying across the screen.

Wait, so it actually worked? You got the grenades?!

A small loading icon popped up as the text was being encrypted before being sent. The text app Zin had forced him to pick up took a little bit more time to send and get texts, since it did some kind of odd encryption thing, but Zin had sworn up and down this was what everyone in the 'business used', and so should he. That'd be what he'd get Illy and Leon to use when he could talk to them next.

He glanced at Eri, who was mesmerized by a passing convertible, the masked face tracking it like a cat watching a laser pointer. Just about everything was still getting his attention and keeping it. If Wade wasn't steering the skeleton, he'd probably run straight into a signpost.

Zin's reply came a moment later: Did I stutter? Y.E.S. Few beauties ready for your incredibly illegal and probably suicidal purposes. Though I'm questioning my own sanity for enabling whatever you're cooking up. Play's going to be real upset if you blow yourself up instantly on the next run, and little miss celestial pain-in-the-neck is going to blame ME.

There was a pause. And another text came back right after.

Well, fifty fifty if she loses her divine marbles or decides this is the most entertaining thing since she discovered colombian novellas. Same thing. Either way, pay me.

Wade ducked into an alley, pulling Eri along. The skeleton nearly dropped the crossbow, making frustrated gestures at being yanked away from checking out what was going on inside a salon shop window that had just caught his attention. Wade didn't quite see, but Eri sure had.

He put his bags down on the street, and focused in on his phone, while Eri simply took the chance to unzip the crossbow bag and start peering inside with a clearly lecherous look. Or at least, that's how it felt to Wade.

The skeleton was very much obsessed with Earth tech, and the crossbow looked exactly like pinnacle earth tech.

"Careful not to mess with it too much," Wade said to his fellow. "I need to run some tests with the dodge boon and that thing paired up later."

Along with the yellow rubber rain boots. Those would be key.

But right now, he needed to check if he could get his latest scheme off the ground before witching hour struck.

I need them linked to a trigger I can press, Wade typed. Or better yet, some kind of dead-man's switch. Something that goes off if I let go, and that I can easily swap one grenade after another.

Three dots appeared, disappeared, reappeared. Finally:

Whoa there Rambo. That was NOT part of our arrangement. I'm a businessman, not some bomb tech from an action movie. You said "get grenades" and I, against my better judgment, GOT GRENADES. What'll you ask for next, paint little smiley faces on them?

Wade leaned against the brick wall, sighing. He already knew what Zin was really after here. All of that could be condensed down to 'Pay me more.'

How much extra? Wade typed out and sent.

This isn't about MONEY, Wade. It's about TIME and EXPERTISE. I don't have the latter, and the former is running out if I'm going to meet your little insane last-second deadlines. And it'll cost you. Significantly. Getting someone to set that up without asking questions means finding someone both skilled AND morally flexible. That's a niche market with premium pricing. You don't easily find how on youtube tutorial videos. But feel free to double check if you'd like. I'll wait.

Wade ran a hand through his hair, thinking quickly. The demon wasn't saying no, which meant all the arguing and bluster here was just an attempt to hike up the prices.

Three things happened simultaneously:

What Wade didn't know was that his request for deadman switches were already how grenades in general worked by default, and Zin was very well aware - and trying to weasel more out of a retail worker that the demon correctly gambled shouldn't know a thing about how grenades worked.

What Zin didn't know was the Wade needed more than just a simple dead man's switch, he needed a highly precise timer wired to them and had thought deadmans switch meant the Hollywood digital timers that would let him set any amount of milliseconds. So agreeing to a contract with Wade wasn't going to be the easy slam dunk the demon was currently gloating to himself about.

And finally, what they both knew was what the demon was really after: Mana potions.

Money was money, Zin could get more than Wade ever could right now. But mana potions?

Problem was that Wade needed those. Needed them for… some part of his soul stilled at the thought. Like a tired marathon runner who'd realized walking was possible.

Hold on. Why did he need all of them, all at once? There was only so many he could go through in one day without dying or throwing himself into actual danger. He'd need to pace his healing process.

And he didn't need to heal Jason, Ann and himself all at once. He could just focus the healing on Ann, get her out of the hospital and back home, and the rest could be handled over the coming week. Worse case, he'd buy more mana potions directly from the storefront.

Jason and himself had been dealing with injury for years now without too much issue. Both of them could wait an extra few days. Hell, an extra few weeks would be nothing at all.

And he had that alchemy questline that would teach him potion crafting for free. If mana potions were considered starter equipment, probably the first thing he'd learn to craft would be those. He turned back to his smartphone and went to typing.

How about one more mana potion?

That answer came back instantly. Three more and you got a deal.

Wade's thumbs tapped his reply message. That's all I have left in the first place, I only started with four and you already have one. How many mana potions would I need to heal Ann with?

Eh, one potion should be enough to heal about a pound of flesh. She's got brain damage right? We're talking about a few tiny little neural hiccups here, not reconstructing her entire cranium from scratch. You could fix all that and still have enough left mana leftover to clear up wrinkles and bed sores for like, a month. This is holy magic, not nature magic. Little more miracle divine soul-healing than your usual bandaid and a kiss. Point is, you'll be fine, so why not share some of those goods with the less fortunate? And by less fortunate, I mean me, just so we're clear. I'll knock it down to two potions and an IOU, final offer.

Wade did feel oddly giddy reading that text. He couldn't quite trust Zin was 100% honest or just saying everything he possibly could to weasel out some more mana potions from Wade. But one way or another, he was healing Ann first thing he could.

Fine, two of my owned mana potions. He typed back.

Two mana potions and that IOU for a third, Mr. Wade.

Well. Had been worth the try. Two mana potions, and an IOU for the next mana potion I manage to bring back from Azdrial.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Deal. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few choice gentlemen to text right this moment. Let's do around seven, I'll send you a good address where we can talk shop in private. You bring all your little nick-nacks from Azdrial, and I'll be there with a nice stall of excellent hand-picked goods.

Wade nodded, and put the phone back into his pants. He felt a bit more weight off his shoulders. He'd get Jason on board too, he'd promised that. And it would give him a bit more practice healing others before he tried something on Ann.

Eri gave him a look, and Wade shot him a thumbs up before grabbing the shopping items and starting on the trek back home. The skeleton followed behind happily, playing with how the zipper on the crossbow bag worked.

Zip. Ziiiiip. Zip? Zip.

It was just about noon, they still had to go to a dedicated shop for climbing gear next, plus some good quality backpacks to hold all of what he'd be bringing to the next round. Which included water bottles.

And he still hasn't gotten anything from Illy yet.

They'd walked back to Wade's pad, and dropped off the collected assortment of (expensive) goods, before going back out with some trail mix to serve as Wade's lunch for the day.

Next up: Climbing gym. Or store. Wherever people bought all that specialized gear from, Wade was just relying on his phone's maps for this. He'd naturally never stepped foot inside a Whole Foods or a climbing gym, Wade wasn't that insane after all.

Eri was just enjoying the walk, since basically everything out here was brand new.

It was on the walk over that his phone pinged again with a notification.

As it turns out, it was Illy. She'd accepted his friend request.

"Finally she's back." Wade muttered, waving to the skeleton as they both shuffled off the sidewalk to the shadow of a larger building. People passed by, some gawking at Eri's cosplay, but it wasn't anything big.

On the other hand Illy immediately started calling Wade up on video chat. The first thing Wade saw, was that it was night over there in England. Illy was indoors.

Wade angled his phone so Eri could see the screen too. The skeleton peered over with his ink-blot face, giving a little wave to the camera.

"Who the feck is that behind you?" Illy hissed out instantly.

"Eri." Wade said. "And a hello to you too Illy, I've been pretty great on my end after I killed myself, thank you for asking."

Illy took a deep breath, was about to start saying something, then stopped. "Aight. Good plan with the mask. I can see it worked out over there."

"It's paid off pretty well so far. So what's going on over there anyhow, why are you answering only now?"

"Run in between Selena and the folks. It's a wee bit of a fecking shitshow over here. All done and handled now, but it was an ordeal."

"Did Selena try ordering steak instead of beans, bread and fries? Or is it chips?"

Illy's scowl deepened. "Oh, think this is laugh don't ya?"

"A little, yes."

Selena appeared behind Illy, looking decidedly uncomfortable in what appeared to be borrowed human clothes. And also… guilty?

"Is that your elf wearing a Taylor Swift hoodie?" Wade asked, pointing at the screen. "Wow Illy, a swiftie huh?"

"The hoodies's the least of our problems, one of the maids helped us out with that one." Illy said, waving him off.

"So what happened?"

"Like I said. Family. Got dragged into lunch and then a dinner, and Selena naturally got involved in both. Lunch was... Well, the little turnip refused to get out of her armor. Dinner was better, got her to see reason by that point. She don't got any other clothing besides that armor, so that's where we got the hoodie from. It's what happened between lunch and dinner that's the problem."

"Why'd she refuse to get out of her armor for? It's safe at your estate, right?"

Wade could see the elf waggle her ears in objection, and so could Illy, since the Scot turned around and glared at the elf with the fury of a thousand suns.

"Fecking knife-ears was convinced someone was going to nick her armor if she left it out of sight. The weapons and shield were fine, she's got spares of those she told me. But the armor?"

"My armor is a family heirloom and has been passed down from generation to generation." Selena said, feathers puffing out indignantly. "I will broker no chances of losing it."

"Yeah, except that's not at all why you were trying to stay in armor ye wee shy blushing maiden." She turned back to Wade. "Turns out, she's just mortified of her feathers. As in the ones on her back. All of this shiteshow started because princess here was feeling too embarrassed to show some tail feathers."

Selena stepped forward, going to the small screen, tapping one hand to verify how it worked and if it captured her. Then she jumped on the defense.

"My feathers are deeply out of shape and required proper care and oiling before being shown in civilized society. In my culture, having unkept spine feathers is a…" She paused, "Unladylike sign. And I did not wish to show others that they had gone unaddressed within my armor. Due to warfare and all the motions I had to take protecting Lady Illy… I am not lying! I really am- oh, this stupid language blessing is a curse!"

Her ears were twitching each time she embellished her story, and because Selena also had the language buff whispering the same obvious cues back - and was staring at her own video image - she could tell everyone else could tell she was lying.

So she lunged for the camera, as if trying to grab the thing, but Illy was faster with a jump on the bed, out of reach.

"It's fecking fine if you weren't taking care of your feathers, nobody here knows the difference!" She said, turning to the elf and tapping her on the chest a few times with a finger, now that she had the bed's added height to work with. "I couldnae even tell the difference between a preened feather or not, how could I? Do I look like a hen to ya? Wade's the peacock in the group here, none of the rest of my family or the servants here could tell. You were fine."

Selena, on her end, was starting to look beet red. Or red enough on the cheeks and ear tips even Wade could see it through the video footage.

"What exactly happened during lunch and dinner?" Wade asked. It had kept Illy from contacting him this whole time. Had to be a serious shitshow.

Illy turned back to the screen to continue her rant, but stopped, took a breath, and answered back. "Dinner part was mostly fine, things were calmed down by then. Lunch and what happened after are where it got involved. Not to worry though, I handled it all and we're better off for it. I'll explain in a second. First things first - you got the climbing gear or not? And the radios too, don't forget those."

"I got the radios, I'm just about to walk into the shop for the rest. Can you send me a list of things I need to ask for, and more importantly, wire me the funds you promised? My wallet's taking a beating right now. Also send me Leon's contact info, and we should swap to something more secure to talk to each other with." Wade's mouth tried to sound something out, and nothing came out. He coughed in his hands, and tried again. "Play's butler has an app he uses for that, I can link you it. I'm pretty sure he has…" Once more nothing came out of his mouth. Wade tried again. And again. But any attempt he made to explain what Zin did as his real job failed. Likely because it directly linked back to the dealings between Zin and Wade, which were to be kept private. "… He's got to earn money in other ways to pay off the bills the NEETess piles up on him. I know he does stock trading, and other business stuff, but that's…. nnngg, fuck. Fine. That's all I can think of."

That was as close as Wade could get to explaining that Zin likely had ties to the underworld. Given the grenades he'd managed to procure on a day's notice. It meant those were already smuggled in, and prepared for use.

"Magic holding your tongue?" Illy asked.

Wade tried saying something, then gave up and just shrugged. That seemed allowed.

"Sounds like you made a contract with a demon or something." Illy said, laughing to herself.

Wade stared back without moving a single muscle. He couldn't say or joke about that at all, but not doing anything? Looks like the contract couldn't do anything about that.

Illy stopped laughing, then narrowed down her eyes. "Huh. Demon butler, eh? Interesting. Is he nice at least or are ye in danger?"

"He's nice." Wade said, then found his voice frozen again. So he shook his head and decided to move the topic along. "What about on your end, what happened after I took a dip in the sea?"

"Talkin' about demons, we made it on the boat, even managed to get Leon on it after we bargained for another mana crystal so Selena could fly again. The two on that boat, they're named Jayy'Rem and Deie'Rego. Jay and De for short. Fun lads. You'd think for literal demons they'd be scheming or wicked or somethin' but nae, they just want to fish, play cards and smoke. Even offered us all a few puffs. System showed them levels 23 and 29, so both were as dangerous as Selena, don't let yer guard down around them. She did mention demons are really good at scrapping."

"And the quest?"

"Completed it. Got a coin that handled Leon's five for that round, and then got another quest to actually fish and work with the pair there, but decided to be on the safe side. Apparently the Mithril Sea has a wee ecosystem that lives in it and it fights back. They spend about three or four days out collecting before they haul for home. Unless they got hit by a few waves one too many times, something about ropes fraying."

"They're sticking around?"

Illy gave him a thumbs up. "They said they'd try their best. All thanks to you for volunteering some of your junk from that backpack you left us, we used it as a bribe. Should have seen 'em, happier than seagulls with a stolen chip. "

Wade hissed, eyes narrowing down.

"You weren't extracting with anything anyhow bampot. Finders keepers."

Wade took a breath to start arguing, but Illy kept going as if nothing had happened at all. "Main point is that the boat's sticking around here till we come back. We had to tell the pair we could get in and out of the Nathir city, though they'll keep it a secret for now. Apparently that'll bring way more attention than the two of them want to deal with. And speaking of attention, we should get you in contact with Leon soon. The bloody bastard managed to get a mana crystal back to earth."

Wade blinked.

He what?

If that was the food boon, mana crystals didn't have any kind of nutritional value. The System wouldn't consider it food.

... So what had that Russian done to weasel his way out of that?

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