Cards.

I loved cards.

The comfortable weight of them, the glass-slick feel, the perfect images, capturing for a frozen moment the essence of who or what something was. They were beautiful, and not just in form and function, but in what they represented: a chance for us to steward those who had come before, and in turn, receive their insight and aid. One of my earliest memories was my father summoning two Guards when I admitted to him that I was frightened of the nightly shadows that waited in my rooms. He listened to my concerns seriously and then promised me that the pair would stand watch over me all night long. Lying in my bed, seeing the steady Souls at my side, so vibrant and dedicated to the task at hand, I had fallen into a deep, peaceful slumber, and the shadows troubled me no longer.

And yet for all my love of cards, now I found myself drowning in them. I thought Felstrife would only have familiarity with Death and perhaps a smattering of Water, but she was considerably more well traveled than I expected, her wealth of knowledge assaulting me with a myriad of Sources, including her very opposite.

Had she visited the Elf lands? I questioned as more cards skittered across my sight. Fought one of them? She must have done something of the sort to have seen a Legendary.

I felt myself burp and then smelled the acidic scent that rose from my lips. This was a common precursor to the violent nausea I often experienced during these sessions. I didn't know if the reaction was because of the speed with which the cards flicked by, barely a second spent in view before being replaced, or if it was my Mindtrap ability taxing my body beyond its physical capacities.

I had quickly learned that closing my eyes or shaking my head provided no relief, and I couldn't reach my temples to rub – the helmet covered most of my head, leaving a narrow section of my face free but little else, and I was never allowed to take it off. Steady breathing let me last a bit longer but only a bit. Inevitably, I found myself curled on the floor after having heaved my guts out, my fingernails scrabbling at the cursed helm I wore, even though I knew I couldn't dislodge it. Begging Felstrife for release was always a possibility – even with my throat raw, I could push the words out – but a hard part of me, a calcified dark center that I don't think existed before I lost Esmi, refused time and again to break so completely.

Today though, the pain and sickness grew so terribly intense my body was trembling uncontrollably, and I could feel my fingernails bending backward as they scrabbled uselessly at the helm.

I'm sorry, Esmi, I whispered to myself between the stabbing images. I'm so, so sorry. And then, suddenly, it was her card that hovered in my mind's eye instead of all the others.

I hadn't let myself use Mindtrap to see this version of her again, fearing it would break me, just like all the other people and worries I wasn't allowing myself to linger on. Even so, when the card went to slip away, I held onto it like a lifeline. Stay with me, I begged her instead of Felstrife. Never leave. And she did, her presence somehow keeping the other cards at bay.

Floating alone with my love, the shaking of my body gradually slowed and my hands stilled on the helmet. I'll fix this, I promised her, looking into her hazel eyes so deeply I could almost believe that they saw me back. I'll hold you again in the flesh, I swear it.

I stared at her for I don't know how long, but eventually my eyelids fluttered, and I saw the dark room I lay in instead of a kaleidoscope of cards. The helmet under my hand had not only stopped buzzing, as it did when transferring images from Felstrife's mind to my own, but it was cool to the touch, meaning it had been unused for some time now.

I pushed myself upright, my head feeling unnaturally heavy as I moved, but I knew the cause of that. What I didn't know was if the trick I had just stumbled on would delay my elevation. Did cards "seen" but not focused on count as activating Mindtrap? I had been force-fed so many cards over the past few days, I had no way to tell exactly when I had experienced each of them. "Twins, please be kind," I mumbled to myself. While I was just as curious as Felstrife to see what abilities my soul would possess at Epic, it was hardly worth it if Azure assassinated me moments afterward.

"What's that, lad?" the elderly man, Geb, asked. His gnarled hands never stopped working the metal rope he held, but he didn't move them as quickly as he had the first few days. All of us were leery of leveling ourselves now, and none of us had since the girl from Burlon had her neck brutally snapped.

"Nothing," I said, not wanting to give away what I had discovered just yet. "Felstrife?" I asked, when a look around showed me her ever present minions but not the lich herself.

"Off on one of her hunting missions," Justine, the armored woman said as she passed by, moving at a steady walk instead of her previous run.

I nodded in understanding, the bulky helmet nearly straining my neck as I did. The one silver lining of Azure's merciless attack the other day was that it created an opportunity. While Hull's mother seemed unconcerned about a potential enemy in their midst, Felstrife had taken it upon herself to find the intruder, and whenever she was gone, my tortuous training was delayed.

What's more, instead of leaving any of her powerful Souls behind to watch over us – presumably because she wanted them on hand for when she faced the person she was searching for – various high ranking members of the Undead army were given that task.

The first had been a surprisingly talkative wight named Calbrin, who enjoyed philosophy among other things and knew the name of the girl we had lost: Esda. It was a strange thing to learn only after she was gone, but at least now we could mourn her better should we choose. Calbrin and Geb had gotten on rather well, reminiscing about days long past, though the wight's were from considerably further back than old Geb's.

My hope, of course, was to speak to someone from the necromancer faction again. While I desperately wanted to get the King's Vault key from Hull's mother and Esmi's card from the vampires, those two things would last in ways her body would not. The one necromancer had said the first wave of zombies would be raised using corpses from the Palace, but that had been days ago now, and I was becoming increasingly concerned.

To lose Esmi again after I had discovered a way to bring her back was a possibility I wasn't even willing to entertain.

"Where's our watcher?" I asked Geb since Justine's long legs had already taken her a fair ways off. I didn't bother with Bessamun because he still wasn't speaking to anyone, hunkered down behind the books he had been given like they would protect him from the creaking Skeletons and Zombies that were stationed all around. I couldn't imagine Felstrife leaving us without a higher-ranked guard in place, and I was surprised I couldn't see them. Were they some sort of ghost or other ethereal creature like those Ice Specters she used?

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"Outside," Geb answered, motioning with his head so his fingers could keep working the knot. "Mean looking fella. Wouldn't go near him if you were paying, and I'd suggest you stay away, too. You can tell the really vicious ones, eh? Wide as a barn, he is, but playing at being a gentleman. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing, if you ask me, what with those fine shoes and –"

"Suit?" I finished, my blood running cold.

"Aye…" the old man said, his tone having gone wary. "You know him?"

"I'll be the death of him," I swore, getting to my feet and marching on unsteady legs toward the door. The dozen lesser Undead who were our constant caretakers watched me go but made no move to stop me. As long as we didn't leave the ballroom, they didn't care much where we went in it, like Justine and the laps her collar made her do.

They did however begin to groan and scrape their way toward me as I neared the exit, so I slowed to a stop. I would have loved to use my Souls and Spells to sweep them all away, but in addition to being my near constant torment, the helmet I wore blocked me from accessing my deck. Whenever I tried, I could feel the cards on the edge of coalescing in my hands, but it was only a sensation – the cards themselves never manifested.

"Are you there, vampire?" I asked the empty portal.

There was a low chuckle on the other side of the Ballroom entrance that raised the hackles on the back of my neck. Then, the vampire who was burned into my mind without the need of any ability stepped into view. He was precisely as smug as I remembered, the broad shoulders that strained the fabric of his jacket nearly filling the grand, arched doorway.

My body was involuntarily propelled forward at the sight of him and I covered the remaining space, the Skeletons and Zombies be damned.

"Do you have her on you?" I practically growled, my chin only inches from the puffed cravat he wore at his chest.

He gazed down at me, recognition alighting in his red eyes. "Ah, the human with the weak hands."

I balled my fists at my sides, which he saw and smirked at, revealing one of his elongated canines.

There were so many things I wanted to shout at this creature, so many unspeakable things I wanted to do to make him howl in pain, but none of that would get me what I wanted, what I needed. "I have cards for trade," I hissed in a fair imitation of Felstrife.

"Do you now?" the vampire asked, though he sounded bored as he did.

"I wish for the card you showed off near the wall. A Rare for a Rare, and I can even make it a Soul if you like. A perfectly even swap."

He leaned closer to me. "And do our situations seem… even to you?"

"Come now," I said, fighting myself to not rise to his bait. "What use can you possibly have for a mixed Fire and Order Source card? I'll give you two Rares, netting you twice as many shards."

He seemed to actually consider the offer for a moment before leaning on the doorframe. "No, feeble human. My love is having too much fun with her for me to consider trading her away."

Each word was a strain on my heart and patience. His love? Fun? What did that mean?

"Ah," the vampire said, smiling wider, "there's that face I saw before. Care to try and strangle me again?"

There was a clatter, and I turned to see that Geb had dropped his ever-unspooling rope. He jerkily picked the metal coil back up, looking at us and then sharply away.

"No," I said, turning back to the vampire, though that was exactly what my twitching fingers wished to do.

"Pity," the vampire said. "This time I'd let you leave a bruise, if you could. Alexi would be so furious."

Alexi might be his love, but if so, I had no idea why the vampire would wish to antagonize his partner. "There must be something you two desire," I pressed.

The vampire lifted an eyebrow, perhaps because I had decided to include them both in the statement. It was the obvious choice; the more parties involved, the more likely a suitable match could be found.

"There is something," he eventually said, "though I doubt you would know." He spoke slowly, and from the crook of his lips, I could tell he was having fun drawing this out.

I didn't care; I would grovel if I had to. "What is it?"

"A blood-kin of ours arrived before us and spent time in this city," he explained. "What became of her?"

My throat tightened. He had to mean Lustra. The question was, would telling him that she was deceased upset him? Would I be better off lying or simply withholding what I knew? Those possibilities were discarded as soon as they came to me. As much as I loathed this creature, I needed to build goodwill between us – without Esmi's card my plans were impossible.

"The only vampire in Treledyne I'm aware of participated in the Rising Stars Tournament," I answered matter-of-factly. "She acquitted herself well, even making the top five. But then she tried to kill the Sun King during the winners' ceremony and died in the attempt."

The vampire nodded, as if he had expected as much. "And where is her card?"

"I have already provided you some information. What is more worth?"

"Hmm, I shan't rip your head from your neck if you keep talking."

I saw Justine pale as she did a faster lap past us.

"Only if you wish to truly die," I shot back, not budging an inch. "Felstrife was none too pleased when we lost Esda. I think she would eviscerate you should she return to find me dead at your hand."

The vampire considered me for a time. "The card of my kin is important to us. We take our deaths quite seriously, you see."

For the briefest of moments, I was back in the trees with the elves during their touching ritual and then the image of Esmi's card floated before my vision again. Seeing it, I couldn't help but scoff at him. "Are you trying to make me feel badly for you and yours after you killed the love of my life?"

I couldn't say for certain, not with the spike of anger I was riding, but the glimmer in the vampire's eyes seemed to flatten. "Ah…," he said. "Was that what she was?"

"Most certainly," I ground out, daring him to question it.

Instead, he tilted his head, hearing something I could not. "Ah, it seems my replacement has arrived. Until next time, frail human." The vampire turned and strode away, the heels of his shoes clicking on the stone floor. A sallow faced woman wearing black passed him by, giving him a small sneer, and then she walked past me as well, as if I was just a mere fixture in the room.

In truth, I practically was: rooted to the spot, wondering if I had just blundered my only chance at getting Esmi's card. "I have an idea of where your blood-kin is!" I called out, half desperate now. "Speak with your Alexi and then come see me again if the knowledge is truly important to you." I thought I saw the vampire pause briefly in his stride, but that may have just been my deep wish. Then he was around the corner and out of sight.

With a haggard sigh, I turned back to the ballroom to see the newcomer inspecting one of the Skeletons like a horse breeder would check his wares, inky Death Source floating above her. A summoned Soul wouldn't need such attention, but the lighting in here was poor, only a quarter of the candles and sconces lit. Were some of these actual skeletons? If so, that would explain why they could stay summoned so long with Felstrife gone. It also meant that I might finally have the type of visitor I wished; the woman might be pale, but having seen two vampires now, I didn't think she was one of them, and her garb matched that of the Epic necromancer, though it was not nearly so fine.

My steps were eager as I approached her. "Good day to you," I said by way of greeting when I reached her side.

She stiffened but didn't say anything back. She quickly finished whatever it was she had been doing and then moved past two zombies to another skeleton on the fair side of the room. I didn't hesitate to follow.

"Might I know your name?" I inquired when I reached her the second time.

"Why are you speaking to me?" she snapped, not bothering to look up from what she was doing. One of her Sources dimmed as she felt a rib, though I had no idea why.

"You are a necromancer, yes?" I asked. She didn't answer but neither did she deny the title. "If so, you have something I very much want."

"Freedom? Death?" she scoffed. "You will get nothing like that from us. Not until the lich is finished with you."

I was shaking my heavy head through half of her speech. "Nothing of the sort. I want a body in your possession. Someone dear to me."

Her hands stilled on the lowest rib she was tracing her fingers over. "I'm listening," she said, resuming her work.

I provided Esmi's description and when the necromancer said it sounded somewhat familiar, I could have wept, and would have, if doing so wouldn't have given away how much this trade meant to me. "I have cards to barter," I offered, my voice thick. "What are you in need of?"

She waved the suggestion away with her thin fingers, stepping closer to me. She smelled musty and vaguely of rot.

"You see what's in her mind, don't you?" she half-whispered. This near I could see that her rheumy eyes were gold-flecked, like mine, and they darted between me and the helmet I wore.

I could only presume that the 'she' referred to Felstrife. "Yes," I answered, not sure where she was going with this. "Would you like me to describe the cards I've seen?"

"No, no," she said, talking faster. "Can you look beyond the cards? See other things in her head?"

I had been at this long enough to know when the truth needed stretching in order to see a deal done. "Somewhat," I answered carefully. "What do you wish me to see?"

"Her past. How she became what she is. Manage that, and we shall have a bargain."

My eyes widened in realization of what the necromancer was asking. She wanted to know the secret to Felstrife's lichdom. "Give me three days," I said, having no idea if I could accomplish such a thing but hardly caring; for my lost love, I would find a way. "And keep that body safe for me until then."

"Two," she countered. "We're doing another raising in three, and I doubt you will survive that long anyway."

She could have said one and I still would have agreed. "It is a deal," I said, lifting my hand for her to shake, something I had learned from Hull.

She looked at the offering in disgust and then marched off to another skeleton tucked in a corner by Bessamun. This time I didn't bother following, not when there were so many other things to think on.

When Felstrife finally returned she was gnashing her teeth, obviously having failed to find Azure. She worked me twice as hard in her anger, not letting me sleep, and I welcomed the opportunity. As the excruciating hours bled by, instead of hiding behind my memory of Esmi, I tried to push past the cards that poured down on me like a waterfall. However, just like falling water, there was a weight to them, and it wasn't until I realized that I could pull them past me to make them vanish faster that I started making progress. Faster and faster I shoved them to the back of my mind, but quickening the pace of the images had the unfortunate side effect of making me even sicker. So I spat and heaved, until my stomach was like twisted wine skin, wrung of every drop, a fiery knot of cramped, pulsing pain.

But through it all I didn't relent, and by the time Felstrife finally moved the amber ring away from her head, I had seen a glimpse of something – a place without metallic borders, a place of ruddy brick and drifting smoke. It was only a glimpse, but it proved that there was indeed something beyond those countless images; something I would find even if it killed me.

Felstrife left me practically comatose on the floor, spittle dribbling from my lips, but the tiny part of me that could still think hardly cared.

I had hope now, real hope, and that filled me to the brim like nothing else could.

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