Misadventures Incorporated

Chapter 513 - Of Perverts and Lightning


I felt like I was losing motivation. My bovine life was the first in which I'd seen a faint glimmer of hope, but the hunter had appeared and ended it prematurely.

Still, a look from her was all it took to reignite my passion.

I stepped right into the world anew, as a blob of eyes, a metal golem, a floating microphone, and a living flame. It took me over a hundred tries to get past the first four stages. As a parasitic wasp, I was finally able to break past the mortal barrier on a world where the system applied in full force.

I could practically taste victory.

My build had come together, and I was nearly at the point of becoming powerful enough to resist. My tiny size had even allowed me to escape the hunter. I flew under his radar and avoided him like a plague of locusts.

But then his jaws closed.

Around the world in its entirety.

And again, I was denied.

___

"Miss Penhorn is no longer capable of combat. The winner is Sir Graham!" The announcement was met with a roaring cheer, both for the battle itself, and for Cadria's victory. Having lasted only seven seconds in total, the duel was of a level that few were able to process. Even many of the crowd's more experienced fighters were left completely stunned, unable to keep up with the lightning fast exchange.

But that was precisely why they were cheering.

Their inability to understand the battle only excited them further, because it was undeniable proof that it was a truly high-level fight.

Cadria and Vel'khan had both delivered. Both sides had declared that their participants were champions, and the earthshaking battle had proven just that. The crowd couldn't wait to see it slowed to a perceivable speed. And it was to that end that the cheers eventually quieted, for it was only then that Octavia flashed a smile and continued.

"That was one of the most exciting battles I've ever seen," she said. "It was so awe-inspiring I don't know what to say. Thankfully, we have people for that." A giant display came to life and showed a pair of familiar faces. "We will once again be joined by Tiberius the Undying and Throgg the Left, both of whom will scrutinize the fighters' techniques, explain their actions, and otherwise evaluate their performance. But that isn't all. Today, we happen to have a very special guest. Please put your hands together for Pirate Queen Tessa Penhorn."

A third person, identical to Lana in almost everything but hairstyle, joined the other two up on the board.

"Tessa is Lana's myraen pair and lifelong companion. Though not quite as powerful as her sister, she is a veteran of many battles herself and an expert in naval warfare. She will be providing further insight into Lana's fighting style and supplementing the other two's explanations." Returning to the VIP box, Octavia sat next to the tiny wolfgirl. "Miss Penhorn, do you have any opening remarks?"

Tessa clasped her hands together and frowned. "Yes. First of all, I must begin by apologizing to everyone present. My sister was unable to exhibit her best performance."

"What do you mean by that, Miss Penhorn?"

"We'll have to begin with a little bit of a lesson on myraen biology. The form that Lana and I are currently in is our primary, energy-saving form. In that sense, we are somewhat similar to werebears, who are able to shift between their hunting and gathering modes. However, unlike werebears, we cannot shift on a dime. The only time that we are at full strength is at the peak of our heat cycle, during which our bodies temporarily return into their ancestral forms. At present, Lana is only capable of using approximately half of her power."

"That is a very interesting insight, Miss Penhorn, thank you. Do you have any comments on the state that your sister was in when she first entered the ring?"

"She told me that it was the result of her training. There was no foul play at work, and I don't believe her performance was significantly impacted."

"I'm glad," said Octavia. "We would have readily launched a full investigation had there been any foul play." The centaur flashed a toothy grin. "Now, with that out of the way, why don't we move on to our analysis."

The display shifted to the moment that the battle began.

"I want to start by taking a moment to talk about their opening moves," said Throgg. "If you follow Lana's line of sight, you'll soon notice that she's focused on Graham's lower half, whereas he spent the whole sequence watching her hands. Both fighters started slow and decided to test the waters. That much is normal, but you have to notice just how slow this is, compared to their top speeds. It really makes me wonder what they're thinking."

"That's a good point, Throgg," said Tiberius. "Graham is a little easier to read. I suspect it's because he isn't too sure how many resources to commit. Much of his speed came after he broke his arrows, so it's likely a temporary bonus, and he needs to nail the timing. Lana seems to be focused on preserving her stamina, which comes as no surprise with how the battle concluded."

So on and so forth, the two chatted away while Lana exited the arena. She stumbled down the hall with her jaws clenched and her hands balled into fists. She was frustrated enough to burst into a tirade of curses, but too tired to do anything but collapse.

Her body had started to regenerate. Her muscles were slowly piecing themselves back together, and her torn up tendons were finally reconnecting. But it was too little too late. She hated it. If she were just a little better at fixing herself in battle, she just might have come out ahead.

"Stop giving yourself shit. You did fine." When she looked toward the source of the voice, she found that most of the brigade had come to greet her. Jules, the speaker, was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed, while the rest of the party stood a few steps away. Only Krail and Chloe were missing, likely because they were watching the replay and preparing for their upcoming duels.

Lana was half expecting the others to be cross with her, but found no disappointment or anger on their faces.

"I lost," she said, quietly.

"Yeah, and?"

"I could've won."

Jules shrugged. "Shit happens. I probably would've gotten my ass kicked too."

"We need four wins."

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"There is no need to be so concerned," said Arciel. "We've another six opportunities yet."

"Yeah! We'll be fine!" said Sylvia. "It's just the first round."

Though Lana wasn't exactly inclined to agree, she eventually nodded and forced a small smile. "Thank you. And sorry."

"There is hardly a need to apologize," said Arciel. "Win or loss, you have demonstrated to Cadria that we are not to be trifled with."

"Yeah. The VIPs were shitting themselves silly," said Jules, with a grin. "Barely any of them could keep up."

"Yeah! Even Claire's dad's weird moth friend was complimenting you!" said Sylvia.

Lana smiled and nodded. She still wasn't happy about the loss, but she had to admit, she was feeling a little better already. "His regeneration was unfair."

"Yeah, it was totally crazy!" said Sylvia. "He was literally coming at you without a body! I didn't even know that was possible!"

"There are a few that can do that, but not many," said Claire. "Durham does it. My father does it. The colosseum's champion, Tiberius, can do it too."

"I'm not sure how I was supposed to kill him. I don't have big hits." She looked at the rest of the brigade's members, each of whom answered in turn.

"I don't really think there's anything you could've done," said Allegra.

"Yeah, I dunno, you were kinda fucked there," said Jules.

"Unfortunately, I haven't any answers," said Arciel.

"Maybe you weren't supposed to kill him," suggested Sylvia. "You could've tied him up or something and won that way."

"I don't think that'd work."

"Mmnnn… yeah, probably not." The fox scratched the back of her head and stuck out her tongue.

With all the other speakers done, everyone turned to Claire, who simply shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know either. I had the same problem until my last ascension."

"Oh." Lana breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought it was just me."

"Claire struggled with it for like ever," said Sylvia. "And she's always had like three times as many ability points as anyone else. But I guess that probably doesn't really matter since she never spent them."

"I heard it's a pretty common problem for rogue types," said Jules. "But I guess it's bad even for warriors, if you're up against Cadrians."

"Or giant monsters," said Claire.

"At least I know what to work on now."

"That's the spirit," said Jules. He patted her on the back. "Now, whaddya say we get out of here? We might as well do some festival shit while we've got the chance."

"I don't know," said the wolfgirl.

"There'll be a fuckload of snacks."

"Snacks?" Lana perked up. "Okay. Let's go." She took a breath and put on her very best smile as she telepathically informed her sister about her plans and ventured out into the city.

She might not have won the battle, but that wasn't about to stop her from consuming every morsel that the city had to offer.

___

Not all of the foreigners in Cadria were quite as happy-go-lucky as the Vel'khanese. While they were out roaming and tasting the city, the alliance's members were practically shitting the bed. They'd sent thousands of spies. There were enough alliance members present in Valencia to populate a small town. And not one of them was happy with the absurdity they'd witnessed.

Two such people sat in a small room beneath a local tavern, both with grim frowns across their faces. Lit by firelight, the room was a perfectly soundproofed meeting place where they could speak without running the risk of discovery. The candlelight too was a measure against discovery. Kept alive by magic alone, it ensured that the space was devoid of oxygen, and that only those with countermeasures could enter and remain. Admittedly, it was a low bar to entry, but against the Cadrians, they needed every bit of security they could get.

"He's a fucking monster."

The man who broke the uncomfortable silence was a young dristle by the name of Hemlik Raja. He furrowed his hairless brow and toyed uncomfortably with his tentacled beard as he reviewed his subordinates' notes. They had, unfortunately, all come to the conclusion that there was no fakery at work. The slowed down recording was real, and though he was more or less stuck at the 850 wall, Graham was powerful enough to match a hero in single combat.

"This is bullshit," he continued. "He wasn't nearly this strong during the qualifiers."

"He was also a lot more distracted." The woman sitting opposite him was a kollondite. Though she'd ascended three times, Esperanza looked exactly like the average member of her species. She had a large, bulky frame with incredibly muscular limbs and a barrel-shaped torso. Though densely packed with muscle, her midsection was fairly round, courtesy of the energy stores that she needed for extended combat. She had a large snout for a nose, a pair of incredibly large ears, and two membraned wings sprouting from her wrists. Functionally, she was a bipedal bat-pig.

"I know, but still." Hemlik buried his face in his hands. "I didn't want the plan to hinge on the army's arrival."

"We'll be fine," said Esperanza. "Hrefna's already copied that portal spell of theirs. We'll be in the clear the moment she figures out how the two doorways are placed."

"Hrefna… Are you sure we can trust her?" asked Hemlik.

Hrefna Ellrun Eirsdotter, the Hero of Witchcraft, was one of the alliance's trump cards. But at the same time, she was one of their most uncertain factors. She was the only hero who was neither born in Obloyd lands nor summoned from another world. Her homeland was Kryddar, and she was technically in the line of succession. Her father was Anders Ivar Ragnarson, the prince who had most recently rebelled against the throne, only to be slain by his father's hand.

The Kryddarian Spellweaver-turned aspect was mainly after her grandfather, but she also wanted Virillius Augustus' head for the part he played in her father's death. She was liable to losing control and throwing the whole operation out of whack.

"Don't worry. Mila is keeping her in check." Mila Morales, The Hero of Petals, was the only other hero who had traveled to Valencia. Specifically, she was one of Kollond's natives, and the alliance had tasked her with befriending Hrefna and giving her more reason to fight on their side. As far as the higher ups could tell, the operation had gone perfectly. Hrefna never realized that Mila had only become her friend on account of her orders, and had ultimately developed a one-sided bond.

"That's not the part that has me worried," said Hemlik. "You're assuming she can finish in time. That spell was cast by an aspect, and honestly, it's probably an original. Have you even heard of a spell that can instantly move whole armies?"

"It can't be that complicated if they've been keeping it up for days. Vel'khan's queen doesn't look the least bit strained."

"Right…" Hemlik scratched his hand with one of his tentacles. "Does that make it a physical phenomenon then?"

"Probably," said Esperanza, "but let's leave that to Hrefna. We're getting sidetracked."

"Right." Hemlik sighed before pressing his hands together and twisting his fingers into a symbol of power. The old wooden table between them morphed as he channeled his mana, its grains rising and sinking to form a rough map of the city. It was far from complete, but they'd managed to fill in most of it over the course of the past week.

Several key locations were marked on the map, with most either in the noble district or in the air around the edge of town. The place that the pair was focused on, however, fell in neither group.

It was a small tavern, the interior of which was fully modeled by the dristle's spell. It wasn't exactly accurate. Hemlik had only spent a few moments inside, and it wasn't like he was allowed in all of the rooms, but he didn't really care. The only thing that really mattered was that he'd identified the place their target was staying.

"We found nothing. The plan is looking like a go."

"Really? There seriously aren't any guards?"

"None," he said. "I know what you're thinking, and I was baffled too. But it looks like the Cadrians are just that confident."

"All the better for us," she said, with a smile. "Let's keep it short and sweet. We'll head over tomorrow night and have him dead come morning."

The target that the two were discussing was none other than Cadria's second champion. All in all, their plan was simple. They would kill the Silverthorn elf, set up the crime scene to frame Vel'khan, and thrust the two nations into an all-out war.

Cadria was a tough nut to crack, but the alliance was confident.

With all twelve heroes in play, not even Virillius Augustus would loom overhead forever.

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