Will

"Wait, so what does all that have to do with upgrade points?" Sam asked.

It was obvious that she wanted to change the subject away from her father as soon as possible. He thought she was taking the whole thing a bit too lightly, having already returned to her usual peppy self. He'd have to keep an eye on her moving forward to make sure she was really doing all right and not just compartmentalizing.

"Well, about that," Will said, speaking slowly and deliberately, "the reason why I wanted us to save an upgrade point is because I was going to suggest that we both pick a passive called True Bond. The effect works a bit like binding a Familiar, except it's a mutual bond between two people. In essence, it would allow us to always sense where the other is regardless of distance, and in some sense our minds would become linked, though I'm not sure about the extent of this linkage.

"The reason why I needed to tell you about your dad beforehand is because unlike the relationship between master and Familiar, a True Bond can't be broken once made. Once you lock it in, it's for life. I wanted to make sure I got my last big secret out of the way so you can actually make an informed decision."

"True Bond, eh?" Sam said in an annoyingly suggestive tone. "That sounds kinda like tying the knot to me. My my, how bold."

"That's not what it means—don't be intentionally obtuse."

"Suuuuuure, dude."

"This is for purely build-related reasons. Do you really think I'd propose to you after less than two months of dating? We haven't even been together in the same place for most of that time."

"Will Greene liiikes meee…~"

"Could you be serious for five seconds, please?"

"Also, controlling much? Wanting to keep track of me wherever I go, so creepy…"

"You're such a brat."

"I'm kidding! Lighten up, old man!" Suddenly Will was wrapped up in Sam's overbearing vice grip and she laughed in his ear until it was ringing painfully. After planting a firm kiss on his cheek, she added: "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Let's do it. Let's do it right now."

"Really?" Will asked dully, grunting as he put up a symbolic resistance against her manhandling. "You don't have any questions about this at all?"

"Nope!"

"God's sake, Sam. You're lucky I ended up having you murdered, or you definitely would have let some guy take advantage of you somewhere down the line."

"Okay Grandpa, I get it."

"I'm not even a year older than you."

She kissed him again, even harder this time. "Yeah, but you're an old soul."

Will wriggled in her arms, found that he was stuck fast, and let out an annoyed huff. "Either way, this isn't a decision to be made lightly. Like I said, once it's locked in, that's it. No going back."

"I'm not making it lightly, though? I already know I wanna be with you forever and ever and ever and ever and—"

"I get it."

"—and ever and ever and ever—"

"Please stop."

"—and ever. I've known that for ages, so what's there to think about?" She finally let him out of her crushing embrace, but still kept a heavy arm slung over his shoulders. "C'mon, hot stuff. Waiting is for pussies."

"No. We'll wait at least a few days—to give this old man some peace of mind, if nothing else. We can make our decision sometime after the party, all right?"

"Boo. You're so boring."

"I'm responsible, you mean."

"Mmmm, nope. Just boring." She began steering him away, back around toward the front of the property if his Orienteering sense was to be trusted. "And don't think I'll let you pass this off as some 'optimal build decision' either. You just wanna keep track of me 'cause you looove me."

"It's not like that's all it does," Will retorted. "At the first rank, sure. But I plan on getting it to the third rank, at which point I'll get extra benefits, one of the most notable being that I will be able to use your AP crystals as though they were my own. Since you won't be using your AP for much anyway, it'll be a good way to increase resource efficiency. It'll also let me pull some tricks like conserving AP even after casting my semblance and so on."

"Wow, what a life hack!"

Will snorted. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. Anyway, that's the main reason why I want us both to take True Bond, so just consider the soul linkage a happy side effect."

Sam laughed brightly in his ear. "Your grumpy old man act is really cute, you know that? But it doesn't fool me for a second."

He didn't have the energy to argue with her anymore, so he just let it go with a long-suffering sigh. She brought him inside, said goodnight to Sunny and ADAM and Ember and Gug as they passed through the house, then went to their own room to sleep. He fell asleep almost as soon as he got sideways, using Sam's unusually soft chest for a pillow.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

* * *

Will continued with food prep in the morning, joining Joe in the busy kitchen. They prepared breakfast for everyone already present and served it outdoors on the long table set up in the yard between the farm buildings. Mongrel's chimps had put it together, and it was meant to accommodate all the thirty-something guests once everyone was present. They had also crafted a large maypole decorated with woven grass and flowers in bright splashes, then raised vertical by a team of helpers so it stood twenty feet high.

Lord Buck and his guests arrived a little before noon with great fanfare. He had a detachment of his ranger bodyguards with him, a heap of civilian guests as well as a group of militia officers; the newly instated Garrison Captain Jawara and Outrider Captain Ferry, along with several of their subordinates.

"Hey-ho, One-Eye!" Buck called, leaping off one of two horse-drawn wagons as Will walked up to meet the second half of attendees on the western edge of the property. The lord wore a poofy fur vest with an open front, several clinking bracelets on each wrist, some very tight-looking pants, and a pair of sharp-toed boots. He was clearly in an exceedingly good mood, practically dancing as he approached. "You beautiful bastard, I can't believe it!"

Will accepted a vigorous handshake. "Glad you could make it, my lord."

Buck gave Will's shoulder a good clap and laughed, saying: "I wouldn't miss a party thrown by Octant Six's most militant pessimist for the life of me! I just have to see what you have planned for tonight." He made a grand gesture toward the wagons bumping to a stop in the tall grass. "I took the liberty of bringing along some party supplies in addition to the alcohol you asked for."

As it turned out, these 'party supplies' consisted of fluttery streamers, decorative paper figures, crates of fireworks, copious amounts of beer and wine and hard liquor, stacks of folding furniture, and several wardrobes' worth of garish clothing that no one in their right mind would ever wear.

Evidently, Sam and Sunny and Gug did not agree with this assessment, as they immediately began digging through the clothes boxes and finding increasingly bizarre specimens to drape over one another.

"Don't you worry, One-Eye," Buck said, moving in conspiratorially, "I saved something nice for you, too."

"Dear god, no," Will protested.

"Oh, yes!" Snickering to himself, the handsome lord fetched a small object from his pocket, unfolded it, and stuck it on Will's face. "These are for you."

Will touched the metal frame resting on his nose and threaded over his ears. "Glasses," he remarked flatly.

"Sunglasses, in fact. The only good thing about being blind is you get to wear shades wherever you want without looking like an ass."

"Noted, but I'm not really much of a—"

"Wow, those look great on you!" Sam said as she jogged over wearing a ridiculously huge coat. She beamed with all the brilliance of a small sun, Sunny riding her shoulders with double fistfuls of her hair. "You kinda look like a human trafficker or something."

Will turned his face to her and arched his brows.

"In a good way, though! Definitely in a good way. Like…" She trailed off, fumbling for the right word.

"Cool?" Sunny suggested.

Sam made a vague gesture with her hands. "Sure! Let's go with that!"

"First I'm an old man—now I'm a human trafficker. When does it end?"

"When you stop being so bald," Sam shot back instantly.

Will was still preparing a retort to that when Sam stepped closer and Sunny leapt between them, wrapping her arms around Will's head and nearly pulling him to the ground as she swung past. She slipped down his back, clambered back up, and seated herself comfortably on his shoulders, then began slapping his head with both of her palms. "Bald! Bald! Bald!" she shouted.

"If you're not careful, I'll Dash you thirty feet in the air," Will said.

"Bald!" Sunny replied.

"Bald! Bald! Bald!" Sam laughed, giving his prickly scalp a few solid smacks of her own for good measure, hard enough to set his teeth rattling.

A ways off, Gug the troll was self-consciously touching his own smooth head with a deep frown.

"All right, that's enough now," Will growled, and reached up to grab the little girl by the back of her shirt collar to haul her off him and deposit her back on the ground. "Don't grow up to be a brat like your Aunt Sam."

"What if I grow up to be bald, though?" Sunny asked with the utmost earnestness, shading her eyes as she looked up at him. "I dun wanna be bald."

"Shush, shush," Sam said, putting a hand over Sunny's mouth and pressing the back of the girl's head against her stomach. Bending down, she added in a lower voice: "'Bald' seems to be a trigger word for him, so let's be nice to the old man, yeah?"

Sunny nodded seriously.

"This is the little lady, eh?" Buck asked, hands on hips as he regarded the girl. "I've heard a lot about you, precious." For once, Will was glad for the Entertainer opening his mouth, since it at least diverted attention from him.

"Who're you?" Sunny asked, rocking back and forth in Sam's secure hold.

"An excellent question. I'm the boss around here, you see. Last name Buck, first name Big Deal, but just Buck is fine." He crouched low and shouted for one of his people, who arrived with a cloth-wrapped package that Buck took off his hands, then promptly handed over to Sunny. "This is for you. Just a small present to welcome you into our big, happy family."

"Thanks," Sunny replied in that bored, petulant tone children sometimes used, and immediately set to work tugging at the ribbons holding the cloth in place.

In the meantime, Sam took advantage of Will's momentary distraction to sling a huge feather boa around his neck. She slapped his hand away when he tried to take it off, then fussed with the outrageously ugly accessory until it lay just so.

"There!" she said, taking a step back to appraise her work. "Now you look more like… a pimp."

"What's a pimp?" Sunny asked.

Sam went still at that, looking between Will and Buck for assistance.

"Yeah, Sam," Will said, crossing his arms and peeking with his one sightless eye over the rim of his shades. "What's a pimp?"

"It's, uh… a person who… uh…"

"It's a person responsible for lending out girls who kiss people for money," Buck supplied. "He is also responsible for providing protection to those girls in case someone isn't happy with their kissing."

"Ohhh, like a whoremaster," Sunny said, nodding absently while continuing to yank at her present.

Sam made a small, strangled sound.

Buck laughed. "Yes, just like that!"

Sunny's present turned out to be a flute of gold-chased dragon bone, apparently Enchanted with Refine [Sound]. As far as Will could tell with his somewhat imprecise vision, the instrument seemed to be of excellent craftsmanship.

"Thank you, boss!" Sunny shouted, throwing the ruined wrapping aside and promptly running off, already blowing into her flute to produce a series of terrible honking noises that only somewhat lessened as she ran inside the farmhouse.

"Jesus Christ," Will muttered. "It's going to be impossible to sleep around here if she takes a liking to that thing."

"Sorry," Buck said, sheepishly running a hand through his perfect mess of thick curls. "Didn't really think that one through, I guess."

"I might have to make sure that thing gets 'misplaced' at some point."

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