"You deserve this," Shaggy growled around a mouthful of taco.
Vlad gave him a glare over his sludge-ridden hands. But otherwise he quickly went back to counting his ill-gotten goods. Shaggy pulled back a little on the hotel room chair as more sludge spattered across the table. A set of towels were thrown about the floor. Their once beige color now marred with flaky green chunks of whatever the frog villain had done to the credits. Vlad pulled another credit chip out of the bag and began slowly de-sludging the thing.
Shaggy finished his taco and reached into a separate bag for another one. Fast-food tacos were the greatest, but at least the place was open. A few blocks around, the hotel had been placed on lockdown and nothing was open. They had to wait until they were back at their own roach-ridden motel before Shaggy spotted an all-night taco place. Which went a long way to filling his stomach. Even if their blend of spices left a lot to be desired.
"Spicy should be the easiest flavor to nail," Shaggy grumbled as he doused his taco in sauce. "Just make the damn thing hot!"
A snort came from nearby and Shaggy looked up to see Ren sitting at the edge of the motel bed.
"What do you want? They're fast food tacos. You'd be lucky if that was real meat. It's not. But you take my meaning."
The big rhino-alien shifted slightly, making the bed creak loudly. They all froze for a second to see if the thing was going to collapse. But nothing happened, so Ren finished settled himself before he looked down at the mess Vlad was leaving. Ren had collected every towel from their room, Slink and Dave's room, and even Levy's. But the vampire was going through them fast.
"What even is this green shit?" Ren asked, toeing a soiled towel before kicking it across the room.
"Some kind of hardening acid or something. It's irritating the skin of my hands."
"And why aren't you helping him, Shaggy?"
"Cause the dumbass stole the money himself so he can deal with it. We came within inches of being caught and this idiot rushed in to steal some money."
"It was a calculated risk, Shaggy. Everything was under control. My blood bats blocked the drones while I snuck in and grabbed the important shit."
"A big burlap sack with the credit symbol on it?" Ren said, pointing at the bag on the motel table.
"Exactly." Vlad cackled as he removed the hardened sludge from the next credit chip.
Shaggy rolled his eyes and devoured his taco. It was late, and they needed to get to sleep soon. They had a convoy to chase down. One that was hopefully devoid of any military shipments. The others would check in the morning. If the convoy looked clean, then they'd move out. He still needed to get Tom to contact Maya. Maybe the Supe gunslinger would hear something that would be useful.
He finished his next taco and went back to the bag for another. But all he found was a stack of burritos. Exhaling angrily, he wrenched one out of the bag and tore it open. They had ordered twelve tacos, and he'd eaten ten. The fast food place had shorted him two tacos. He was making plans to rob the place on their way back when Vlad brushed the sludge off something that wasn't a device to hold credits.
The slim metal tube beeped loudly as Vlad uncovered it, a red light switching on at its top. Ren shouted in alarm as Vlad dropped the thing to the floor. It beeped again ominously and Shaggy jumped up, burrito still in his hand. Without thinking, Shaggy tossed himself onto the thing as the beeping got louder. His body covered it just as the red light flashed to black and a minor explosion rocked the room. Shaggy's body contained the majority of the blast. But he was shoved violently into the ceiling.
Shaggy's body came crashing down, barely missing the slightly on-fire bed. Vlad and Ren were quickly dealing with the carnage, so Shaggy took a few seconds to get his bearings back. The concussion of the blast had thrown several items in the room back, but nothing looked to be too damaged.
BOOM BOOM BOOM "Shut up down there, you fucking kids! Some of us are trying to sleep!"
Shaggy rolled onto his back in time to see the ceiling reverberate slightly. Whoever was in the room above theirs was hitting the floor pretty hard. He wanted to flip the ceiling the bird. But when he raised his hand, he spotted his crushed burrito. His grip had unintentionally tightened around the soft food when he was blown up. The loss of his burrito blunted the pain Shaggy was feeling, and he leapt to his feet. Gathering some napkins, he tried to save as much of it as he could. Behind him, Ren and Vlad were still putting the room back together.
The two of them managed to get the small fires out quickly enough. Now they just needed to reset the room. Although Shaggy thought there was a bigger issue.
"What if there's another one in the bag?"
Ren dropped the bed he was moving back into place as Vlad stopped adjusting a cracked mirror. The loud thump of the bed made them all jump as they turned as one to the burlap sack. Vlad was the fastest, reaching the sack as another set of thumps came from the ceiling again. All three of them ignored it as the pale vampire overturned the sack.
"It was covered completely. So we should be able to find something similar." Vlad reasoned.
Shaggy glared down at the mountain of small green rocks. A few of them had the ends of credit sticks, chips, and even chits sticking out of them. But there were many more that looked like solid green rocks. He shot Vlad an angry look, but the vampire was already digging through his pile. Ren, on the other hand, was backing away from the table. When he saw Shaggy's questioning glare, the big guy shrugged.
"I don't have your healing! Sure, I'm tough. But explosions hurt."
"I KNOW THAT!" Shaggy shouted, pointing down at his exploded chest.
He had been wearing one of his plain white t-shirts and the front of it was absolutely shredded. As he waved his hand at the damage, bits of burrito flecked onto his chest, but he ignored it as he turned back to Vlad.
"Just put the unknowns in the bag and dump it!"
"But they could be money!"
"We've got money at home!"
"This is my money!"
"Then you can take the exploding bag outside and blow your own dumbass up!"
BOOM BOOM "IF YOU TWO DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M GOING TO COME DOWN THERE!"
Shaggy barely looked up as he flipped off the ceiling and returned to his argument with Vlad. The vampire was hurriedly picking up and examining the green rocks. It was pretty much a sure thing that the frog villain had hidden more little surprises in the bag. Maybe there were more explosives. But maybe they were also something else? Shaggy wasn't keen on standing around and taking trap after trap just for Vlad to be richer.
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"Dude! Stop this already. This shit is unnecessarily dangerous. We can steal more money later."
"I can't just stop!"
"Why the fuck not!?"
"Cause I NEED a win, Shaggy!" Vlad shouted, slamming his fists onto the table and breaking off a piece of it. The vampire's fangs were extended and his eyes were going fully red.
"My vampiric family is shit, my abilities just make me a lesser version of you, and in Under-Town, I spend my days playing negotiator! This was supposed to be my vampire fantasy, damn it! And it sucks!"
Shaggy stepped back a bit as Vlad fell into his chair, looking defeated. He shared a look with Ren, who just shrugged, looking confused. All three men sat in silence for a bit until thumping sounds came from above again.
BOOM BOOM BO-CRACK!
The ceiling, already weakened from Shaggy hitting it, came crashing inward as their upstairs neighbor screamed. A large alien with broad shoulders and dark-blue skin landed feet-first into their room. The alien stopped screaming when he hit the floor and looked around. When he spotted the hole above him, he grimaced slightly before turning to Shaggy and Vlad. He rolled up the sleeves of his pajamas and pointed a meaty finger at them.
"You two little shits are going to pay for that. Then after you've explained to the motel why it was your fault. I want you both out of here so I can fucking sleep!"
Shaggy looked at the sitting Vlad before the two of them looked back and the large NPC. Unplanned, they both started cracking up at the absurdity of the man's request. Which seemed to make the NPC even angrier.
"Stop fucking laughing! I'll kill the fucking both-"
Ren's foot slammed into the back of the irate motel room occupant. The blue alien soared straight past Shaggy and Vlad, right over the table full of credits. Crashing through the window, Shaggy heard the man skid to a halt in the parking lot. Ren walked to the door of the hotel and swiftly yanked it open.
"I'll handle this. You two figure out the bag situation."
Ren slammed the door close as Shaggy wiped a tear from his eye. He needed a good laugh and that had been a doozy. Looking over at Vlad, the two of them shared a smile before the vampire appeared to grow morose again. Shaggy, sighing, set his fucked up burrito down and took his seat before looking across at his friend. Vlad had been having with trouble with his vampire for a while, apparently. But the man always seemed to enjoy dealing with the other gangs of Under-Town on the Legion's behalf. So what changed?
Seeing that Vlad wasn't going to be forthcoming, Shaggy prompted him. "A lesser version of me?"
"Yeah, I know. It's apples and oranges. I'm just upset and needed something to bitch about."
"Good. Cause you know I can't summon small red wolves, right?"
Vlad cracked a smile as he shook his head. "I know. It's just the vampire thing isn't working out how I imagined."
"What happened? It seemed like you had plenty of them buying into the whole blood and nobility thing." Shaggy said as the sounds of fighting came through the broken window.
"A few still do. It's just the others that are being a pain in the ass. At the start, I had a cadre of vampires ready to do my bidding. Enter my dark service as my thralls!"
"Ready to play along?"
Vlad shot Shaggy an ugly look, but it eventually faded. "Sure. Ready to go ahead with what I envisioned a vampire should be. Now, though, I've got a bunch of whiny thugs who have no clue how a vampire is supposed to act."
"They're not robots, Vlad. You can't just program how you want them to act."
"But they're NPCs." Vlad whined slightly. "Shouldn't they cater to my expectations?"
His words were slightly undercut by the sounds of heavy fists hitting someone's face. Judging by the cries of pain, it was their upstairs neighbor.
"I don't think this game works that way, dude. You have to put in the work to find your people. Just like everywhere else. You were doing well at the beginning. What changed?"
"I got excited." Vlad blew out a breath as he nodded. "I grew too fast and started accepting everybody instead of being more selective."
"Also, you didn't get to know your people. When I first marked my pack, we went and hung out. I got to know my NPCs and figure out how they all operated. Sure, we wound up butting heads with the Phreaks. But that was all part of the fun."
Vlad glared at Shaggy. "Not all of us have that kind of time, Shaggy. I have to broker treaties with the Big Four, y'know?"
"Do you?" Shaggy asked as their neighbor plead for mercy. His cries were followed by another bout of punches.
"What do you mean?"
"Dude, fuck the other gangs. The Legion is big enough that we don't need them, right? Plus, I bet most of them are dealing with their own shit too, right?"
"Yeah, the Player's are pushing in from all sides. It's been making our meetings shorter and shorter."
"Well then, there you go. Now you can focus on your own fun. Which should be the whole point, anyway."
"I could use the time to restart my Family. Get some people who treat vampires with the noble respect they deserve."
Shaggy did his best not to roll his eyes as the fighting outside stopped. Instead, he gave Vlad a small nod. "Sure, and maybe you and Ren can argue about setting up the next satellite base."
"Our next what now?" Vlad asked as Ren opened their room door again.
The big guy rubbed his knuckles and looked over at the table before asking. "What are we doing with it?"
Vlad glanced between the bag and Shaggy for a second before sighing and stuffing all the solid green rocks into it. He handed up to Ren, saying.
"Pass it to our neighbor and tell him to get the fuck out."
Ren nodded and took the bag. Turning to the still-open door, he tossed the bag out and yelled.
"Pick your dumbass up and go the fuck away. If you're still out here in five minutes…"
Ren trailed off, but the sounds of someone getting to their feet and rushing away were obvious through the broken window. Shaggy raised an eyebrow at Ren as the man continued to rub his knuckles.
"Dude had some kind of personal armor. It grew from his skin and then receded when he didn't need it. Made kicking his ass that much more fun."
Shaggy nodded as he reached for the fast-food bag again. He panicked momentarily when it wasn't on the table. But he found it just outside their window and reached down to pick it up. Checking inside, he found the stack of burritos were still intact and gave thanks to the Gaming Gods. He picked one up and unwrapped it as Ren tapped Vlad on the shoulder.
"You doing better?"
Vlad looked between Ren and Shaggy before he pulled his pile of credits toward himself. "Yeah, we talked things over. I was just aggravated with shit. It's no big thing."
"Hmm." Ren nodded. "Don't bottle that shit up next time. It's not good for you. Now pick up all this green shit and burn those damn towels. It's time for us to sleep."
Shaggy nodded in agreement as he scarfed down his burrito. Vlad was looking around for something to hold his credits when something seemed to occur to him.
"Wait, what was that about a satellite base again, Shaggy?"
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