Regulus was the first to crack. A deep, belly-deep laugh burst out of him, shaking his whole frame as he smacked a hand against the table.

"You lost her?" he wheezed, barely able to get the words out.

Milo pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing like a man who had just realized he'd have to redo an entire day's worth of work. "Unbelievable."

Across from them, Kaiser sat frozen, staring at Mia and Ivan with an unreadable expression. His drink dangled loosely from his fingers, his red eyes hazy and unfocused. The sheer deadpan look on his face made the twins stiffen. "…You lost her," Kaiser repeated flatly.

Mia and Ivan stood stiffly, like two kids who had just broken their father's most prized possession. A long, painful silence stretched between them. Then, suddenly, Kaiser snorted.

And just like that, whatever tension had been building snapped. Kaiser leaned back in his chair, head lolling, and let out a full-bodied, drunken laugh. "Pfft—Hah! Hahahaha!" He nearly tipped backward, slamming a hand on the table to steady himself.

Regulus, still chuckling, wiped at his eye. "Oh man, I needed that."

Milo exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "You're both ridiculous."

Kaiser ignored him, grin wide and stupidly smug. "Let me get this straight. You two," he pointed at Mia and Ivan, barely holding back his laughter, "Ran all over the city for an hour, probably looking like absolute lunatics, only to come back empty-handed?"

Ivan bristled. "It wasn't our fault! She ran off like a ghost!"

Mia groaned, rubbing her temples. "And she had all our money."

Regulus cackled. "That's just insult to injury."

Milo, however, was more focused on something else. "Hold on. What was that about a woman?"

Mia and Ivan straightened, remembering the eerie encounter. Mia glanced at Ivan, who nodded, letting her take the lead. "…While we were searching, we ran into someone," Mia explained. "A woman. Black-green hair, really weirdly long neck, pitch-black eyes. The second we looked at her, we knew she was—"

"—dangerous," Ivan finished.

Reguluse's amusement faded slightly. His grip on his cup tightened. "Go on."

Ivan hesitated, glancing at Mia again before continuing. "She was… off. We've seen killers before… Hell, I've Kaiser covered in blood, but she—"

"She was wrong," Mia muttered, brow furrowing.

Ivan nodded. "Mia told her that Aria was dangerous to throw her off."

Kaiser's eyes darkened when he heard that. Then, with a deep, slow exhale, the grin finally slid off his face. The air around them shifted, turning heavier. His once loose, drunken posture straightened, and his crimson eyes, still clouded with alcohol, but sharper now, only narrowed.

For the first time since the twins had walked in, Kaiser looked dangerous again.

Then, Kaiser turned to Milo. "What are the laws for murder in this city?"

Milo's eyebrows lifted. He swirled his drink lazily, tilting his head. "Are you planning on hunting her down?"

Kaiser scoffed. "No, not for her." He gestured vaguely toward the twins. "For them. I just wanna know what'll happen to me if I accidentally kill them right now."

Mia and Ivan shrieked.

Ivan immediately backed up, nearly tripping over his own feet. "Waitwaitwait—hold on!"

Mia threw up her hands. "It wasn't our fault!"

Regulus let out a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kaiser, buddy—"

Milo, still mostly unfazed, let out an amused hum. "Huh. That'd be quite the trial."

Kaiser sighed, shaking his head. "Never mind. Doesn't change their punishment."

Before the twins could react, he grabbed them both by the ears.

"OW—HEY!"

"Kaiser, let go!"

He in fact, did not let go.

With zero hesitation, Kaiser yanked them toward the exit, dragging them like two misbehaving puppies caught tearing up expensive furniture. Their feet barely kept up as he stomped toward the door, forcing them to stumble along, arms flailing.

"This is abuse!" Ivan cried, kicking at nothing.

"We have rights!" Mia yelped, trying to pry his fingers off her ear.

The entire bar was watching now. People turned in their seats, murmuring among themselves, but nobody made a move to help. It was as if this was just… another Tuesday. Even the bartender, the same kind woman who had been so warm earlier barely glanced up from drying a glass.

Milo took a slow sip of his drink, not even pretending to intervene. "You'll be fine, kids."

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Regulus winced as he watched Kaiser jerk them down the stairs, both of them yelping in protest. "Uh. Will they?"

"Define what you consider fine," Milo muttered, taking another look at the show, Mia and Ivan thrashing the entire way down.

"We said we were sorry!"

"Yeah, don't you believe in second chances?!"

Kaiser's red eyes flicked down at them, utterly unimpressed. "I do. But not for you brats."

Ivan kicked wildly. "This is tyranny!"

"We have committed no crime!" Mia added.

Regulus leaned toward Milo, voice low. "Should we—?" Milo shook his head, taking another sip. "Nah. They'll live."

Halfway out the door, Kaiser suddenly grinned, a smug and devious smile that immediately set off alarm bells. Without breaking his stride, he turned his head just enough to shout.

"Milo! Thanks for covering my tab!"

Milo choked mid-drink. "I never agreed to that! HEY!" But Kaiser was already out the door.

Mia, still dangling by her ear, growled and punched Kaiser in the arm. "Ow!" she snapped. "You can let us go now, jackass!"

Kaiser didn't even flinch. Didn't acknowledge her. He just kept dragging them forward like a mother cat hauling two disobedient kittens by the scruff. His only response was a calm, almost absentminded: "It's getting late."

Ivan twisted his head around as best as he could while still being held like a misbehaving child. "Yeah? And where exactly are you taking us?"

Kaiser didn't hesitate. "To the only place that can salvage what remains of you when I'm done."

Ivan gulped. "You mean like… a graveyard?" Kaiser sighed as if they were morons. "A hospital, dumbass."

"Oh," Ivan exhaled in relief.

"Wait, why is that better?!" Mia hissed. Kaiser ignored them, his eyes flicking toward the city streets. "Now. Tell me exactly where you last saw Aria."

Mia huffed. "Around twenty stores east of the pub."

Ivan groaned. "We lost her early on, but she's too damn fast." Kaiser exhaled sharply, eyes narrowing. "Tch. Useless." Before they could argue, he suddenly picked up the pace, his strides doubling in length.

"WAIT— SLOW DOWN!"

"OUR LEGS ARE SHORT!"

Kaiser, completely deaf to their suffering, kept walking faster, forcing the twins to sprint just to keep up. They stumbled, tripped, screamed, and hurled every curse they knew at him. By the time they reached the hospital, Mia and Ivan were panting, hands on their knees, dying, and Kaiser finally let them go.

Mia groaned, rubbing her sore ear. "Goddamn monster…"

Ivan flopped onto the nearest bench. "I hate you."

Kaiser barely even looked at them. "Wait here." And then, without another word, he turned and walked into the hospital.

Mia and Ivan exchanged glances. "…So do we run?" Ivan whispered. "Where?" Mia muttered. "He's everywhere."

A few minutes passed. Then Kaiser reemerged, holding two small pieces of paper. He walked up to them and thrust a paper at each of them.

"Stretch your arm straight out in front of you."

Mia blinked. "…Huh?"

"Parallel to the ground."

Ivan hesitated. "Uh. Okay?" They both did as he asked, holding the flimsy sheets at arm's length.

Kaiser crossed his arms. "Now hold it."

Mia squinted. "…That's it?"

Ivan snorted. "What kind of punishment is this? This is easy."

Mia grinned. "Yeah, are you serious? What's next? Breathing exercises?"

Kaiser smirked. "Oh?" His grin sharpened, eyes glinting like a wolf about to enjoy a show. "I'll be back in half an hour," he said casually, turning to leave. "Don't you dare drop it. No matter what." The twins watched him disappear into the streets, then looked at each other.

Mia raised an eyebrow. "…Dumbass really thinks this is a punishment."

Ivan laughed. "Yeah. This is nothing."

Meanwhile the once-busy streets were starting to quiet down. People retreated into their homes, windows glowed with warm light, while cleaners shuffled along the roads, gathering debris. They worked in silence, occasionally bending down to pick through scraps, keeping any coins they found. Kaiser smirked while looking at them. 'Smart.'

Then, something in a random shop window caught his eye, specifically, the display case, where a familiar sight sat behind the glass.

'That's Kralak!'

The wooly, cottony, cloud-like treat that Glunko had once stuffed down his and Aria's throats. Kaiser chuckled at the memory, shaking his head. That dumbass Glunko and Arias food obsession… Good times.

Still smiling, he pushed open the door, stepping inside and freezing at what he saw. There, in the middle of the store, sat Aria, or at least, something that used to be Aria. She was twice her normal size, belly round and bloated, looking like she had single-handedly consumed an entire kingdom's sugar reserves.

The store owner stood behind the counter, pale, eyes wide with sheer, existential horror. Aria groaned. "Uuugh... I can see the universe…" The store owner slowly turned his head toward Kaiser, his expression the absolute definition of shell-shocked.

"...Sir," he whispered. "What is this girl?"

Kaiser blinked. "I'd like to know the same thing."

The man gripped the counter as if it were the only thing keeping him tethered to this world. "She ate it. All of it. Every single— goddamn—piece."

Kaiser rubbed his temples. "Start from the beginning, if you don't mind." The owner took a deep breath, visibly trembling.

"She came into my shop, radiating confidence," he said. "She started ranting about Kralak—how it was the best thing in the universe, her favorite dish, how it should be a worldly treasure—she was passionate."

Kaiser slowly turned his head toward Aria. "…Sounds about right." Aria weakly lifted a hand, as if to confirm.

The owner continued, his voice shaking. "I told her we had a sale going on. But then I thought—if she really liked Kralak as much as she claimed—" His hands trembled as he gestured to the crime scene that was Aria's swollen stomach. "—I'd give her as much as she could eat if she could beat me in a contest."

Kaiser narrowed his eyes. "You challenged her?"

The man nodded solemnly. "I am a connoisseur of sweets. Kralak is one of my favorite dishes, and my record was ten plates."

The man clenched his fists. "I was a fool."

Kaiser pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, no shit." Then, Kaiser asked the dreaded question. "…How much did she eat?"

The owner's expression darkened. "…A full wagon." Kaiser's soul shattered. His mouth opened. Closed and opened again. He made a sound, one that didn't seem human. A mix between a wheeze, a gasp, and a dying animal.

Aria, looking absolutely stuffed beyond all reason, lazily pointed to herself and slurred, "Champion…" before groaning again.

The store owner clutched his head. "She… she didn't stop. I thought she would break at twenty plates, and she laughed at twenty plates! Then it was thirty! Forty!" He gripped the counter. "I— I stopped counting at fifty!"

Kaiser put his hands on his hips and stared at Aria like a disappointed father. "…A wagon," he repeated, as if trying to comprehend this level of madness.

Aria let out a weak, blissful sigh. "Kralak is divine…"

The store owner slammed his hands on the counter. "SIR. SHE HAS DEFEATED ME. I HAVE LOST." Kaiser burst out laughing. The defeated look on the man's face. The absolute state of Aria. The sheer insanity of this entire situation. He doubled over, gripping his stomach, his laughter echoing through the shop.

Meanwhile, Aria slowly slid to the side, collapsing onto the floor like a beached whale. "Uuggh…" she groaned. "Kaiser… I… I don't think I can move."

Kaiser wiped a tear from his eye, catching his breath. He crouched next to her, resting his elbow on his knee. "You do realize what you've done, right?"

Aria groaned, waving a very unenthusiastic hand. "I know, I know… I bankrupted a man…"

The store owner's eye twitched. "You have ruined me."

Kaiser patted Aria's bloated stomach and smirked. "Well. At least you got your money's worth."

The owner groaned, rubbing his temples. "I'll be recovering from this for years…"

Kaiser chuckled, standing up. "Alright, alright. I'll take her off your hands."

He reached down and realized something. "…How the hell am I supposed to carry her?"

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