"Oh, you're bored? Is the constant fighting and risk of death not exciting enough for you Weeble?" Tess's tone was acerbic.

"Thank you for bringing up my next point for me!" His cheerfulness belied her tone. "First, it's not novel. Even fighting for your life becomes rote after a time, especially when the only break in the monotony is the occasional injury or death. There is only work, work, work, and then after all of that - more work! Who wouldn't fall prey to melancholy after weeks of that kind of torture?"

Another dramatic pause.

"Second, and I can't stress this point enough, WE'RE not fighting and risking death. Tess, I'm bored with a capital B and ORED. You brought us here to fight, yet all we've done is sit back and watch these people do it for us."

Tess gritted her teeth. "I'm sorry that we're not entertaining enough for you, Weeble, but this isn't a game for me. It isn't entertainment. We will lead from the front - I promise you that. When stronger creatures come, we will be on the front lines protecting these - OUR - people. It's our job to keep them safe. Until then, this is a vital training opportunity for them. These creatures are too easy for us to gain any benefit from, and every one that we kill is experience we're stealing from the people on the walls. They need to grow."

Weeble's voice took on an uncharacteristic solemnity, which made what he had to say even more impactful. "Tess," he whispered loud enough for all to hear, "they can't just survive. They need to thrive. A muscle that is always flexed never grows. Rest is important."

"So when are we supposed to rest?" She almost shouted. Heads turned her way and she lowered her voice. "If they rest, they die. Maybe not today, but one day. I can't allow them to be weak. The best way I can protect them is to make them strong enough to protect themselves! Why can't you all see that?"

The team had taken involuntary steps away from her - all but Weeble. He stepped forward and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. She considered lopping it off.

"Tess, you're strong. Hell, all of us are. We Vanguard know what it's like to have to train constantly to stay on top - to survive. But they," he waved his hand around Safehold, "are not us."

"Hey now," Leon stepped forward, shoulders tense.

"Woah, woah, my big friend, I'm not saying they're not great people. We can all see the job they've been doing up here. But not everyone is built to push constantly. If we treat them like they are, we're going to burn them out. I'm with you, my friend - we need to give them something."

There was silence on the wall as they considered. After a few moments Tess replied, her voice having lost its previous edge. "Okay, let's say you're right. What do we do? We can't exactly throw them a pizza party."

Weeble laughed, his mirth returned and reflected in the way he danced in place excitedly. "Oh no, our fearless leader, I have something much more grand in mind! We're going to give them a show!"

"What does that even mean?" Tess felt his smile behind his mask.

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"Allow me to do what I do best and teach my fellow elites how best to energize a crowd. Listen closely, because the lessons I'm about to impart are a magic that was born before The System arrived." His head whipped to the side as the Mehta sisters snorted and chuckled. "Well of course you two know it, you're part of The Climb. But our humble backwoods friends here might think it's magic." If he noticed the looks he was getting he gave no sign.

"Okay, so the deep magic isn't anything truly secret, but there's an art to pulling it off. First, we need to give them a spectacle. Something that is grand enough to take their minds off the problems they're facing, but not so distracting that it removes their vigilance. Ideally the spectacle would be something that enhances their awareness of the risks they are facing, but does it in a lighthearted way. Like a sitcom showing how dangerous, but ultimately hilarious and beatable, a drug addiction is."

In the back Slinky cried out in a sing-song voice "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so… scared."

"Exactly!" Weeble proclaimed. "Serious, but funny. Dangerous, but beatable. By the end of the episode all the danger has been defeated and everyone is perfectly fine and back to normal by the next one. That's what we need to give them."

"Okay, you're talking too much. Get to the end." Tess said.

"Fine, fine. My showmanship is wasted on you anyway." His voice became more serious. "Look, we need to show them that the creatures out there are beatable, that they're in safe hands, that this whole Cryptid Challenge is nothing more than a season's story arc - and we need to do it in a way that's easy for everyone to digest."

Tess waved her hand in a circular 'wrap it up' motion.

"In case I'm not being clear enough, we need to get out there. We need to fight these things. Not only will it show everyone that this Challenge isn't a constant life-and-death struggle, it'll give them a rest. It's true that they won't get the experience for the kills, but let's be honest - how much experience is everyone getting anyway? These are low-level mooks. Let's wipe them out with ease, give everyone on the walls a rest, and show them just how safe they are since they have a badass Vanguard protecting them while they sleep. I get the feeling that a lot of the lost sleep these last few weeks is because they feel like THEY are the Vanguard and that everything rests on their shoulders."

Everyone looked to Leon, who nodded somberly. Encouraged, Weeble continued.

"Tess, they need to feel protected and so far, forgive me for saying this, it just looks like they're protecting us. Other than Madison and Jason, we've all been patently useless, just sitting here on our beautiful asses, talking and talking and talking about shit that no one cares about."

"We've been strategizing and planning, Weeble."

"And what good has that done them? Okay, okay - you're right, it has done them good. It's kept them all alive, but how do you think that feels to them? Do you think they feel like we're protecting them? Or is it more likely that they feel like they're stuck doing all the work while we sit around drinking beer and chatting?"

The realization hit Tess like a slap in the face. Is that what they thought of her? Of them? Surely not. She wanted to believe that they knew how much she cared about keeping them all alive, how much it ate at her during her sleepless nights - but one look at Leon's downcast eyes made her realize her error in judgment. She sighed.

"Okay, you've convinced me. You're right - stop gloating! I can see it behind that stupid mask. You're right that we need to show them our strength. So how do we do that?"

"Oh see, now that's the fun part! We're going to do a little light kidnapping!"

The arguments against the righteousness of kidnapping took another 30 minutes, but in the end Tess threw up her hands and said "Fine! Do what you have to do, but you deal with the consequences," before she leaped from the wall to retreat inside her house. Leon had been given the approval to let Safehold's residents know that something exciting was coming, and that they would get a break from the wall soon enough.

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