Something nudges me affectionately in my sleep. At first, I think it must be my cousin's monster cat familiar, but then as I slowly wake up I remember that Burdock is off at Crux Academy and I'm delving the dungeons of Gleam.

I open my eyes to find that the campsite has been overgrown with spooky pumpkin vines overnight and one of them is snuggling me like a cat.

Category: Monster | Type: Plant | Rank: Basic | Class: Spooky Pumpkin Disposition: Friendly | Mood: Affectionate

Okay then. I'm sure this isn't the weirdest thing that's happened to me lately but I can't think of anything off the top of my head.

"Sorry, I don't have any hamburger for you," I tell the animated plant thing, giving it an awkward pat. "Did we leave pumpkin seeds on the ground or something after dinner?"

To make matters worse, I was expecting to wake up with maps of the dungeon in my head, after I sent out a [Ghostly Watcher] when my messenger finished his mission. Unfortunately, this dungeon shifts too much to map it even minutes ahead of time, plus the entire place is a 3D Escher labyrinth with stairs and walkways with gravity potentially pointing in all different directions.

Crossing it is going to be tricky, but my ghost didn't run across anything especially dangerous. A few minibosses, but they have side rooms of their own and didn't go wandering around at least while I was scouting.

We eat breakfast and set off to start exploring. The dungeon shifts constantly around us, sometimes even while we're watching, making [Mapping Step] utterly useless. Twisting tunnels lead to us walking on the walls and ceiling, and we soon realize that every surface inside the dungeon is walkable. If any wall is "down", none of them are, and my [Sense of Direction] skill is too low a level to compensate. My HUD compass has been spinning ever since we left the campsite.

"Whatever you do, don't look up," Rowan says, looking up and trying to tear his eyes away from the view.

A vast cavern opens up over our heads, a heavy mist obscuring the distance. Walkways stretch and branch, all of them neatly meeting only at right angles. The quickest way to cross this space would probably be to fly, but we have no means to do so and can't jump high enough to detach from the walkway's gravity.

"Please stop trying that," Rowan says, voice and aura tinged with panic.

"At least it's not full of bats," Melody says brightly.

"I would prefer the bats."

We continue down the walkway, and soon come upon a four-way intersection. I direct us left first. At the end of another series of walkways, there's a door leading into a side room containing a gratuitous light beam puzzle. Solving it opens up a shortcut enabling us to cross much of the open area by rotating weird orb things to align green light beams along a walkway.

After another small maze of corridors, we come upon a campsite that looks identical to the one we just left, with one small difference.

"Wait, are we back where we started?" Melody asks.

"No pumpkins," Rowan points out.

"We made it through," I say. "When we go up from here, we should come out at Topside somewhere. Let's get camp set up."

"To think this was beneath my feet my whole life and I never knew it," Misty says.

The tunnel leading up from here looks identical to the one we just came from, to be sure, but the series of caverns outside is new to me. Once again, I summon a [Ghostly Watcher] to scout and go to sleep, dreaming of a time when my skills are high enough that I can keep my ghosts working all the time and I no longer need to sleep at all.

"So where are we heading next?" Jade asks while we're munching on a breakfast of roast pumpkin.

"I spent the whole night searching and didn't find an exit to the Topside," I say. "But I did find another dungeon that's closer to the surface, so we'll head there and I can search again tonight."

"Are there different sorts of monsters in this part of the caverns?" Rowan asks.

"Same general types, but chrome instead of brass," I say, sending them the monster data my ghost got from reading their auras. "Everyone ready?"

They all confirm, and we head out. No sooner do we step through the dungeon threshold, a system notification appears in my head.

Warning: Invasive species detected. Eco-guardians have been notified and are on their way to extirpate invasive species: human.

"What?" Melody exclaims. "I am not an invasive species!"

[It suddenly occurs to me why no one is worried about anyone coming through this way,] I comment.

Shiny steel spheres the size of beach balls roll out of a nearby tunnel, three of them. Each clatters to a holt in front of us and pops out a pair of nasty-looking steel scythes on long, jointed arms.

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Category: Monster | Type: Animated Object | Rank: Elite | Class: Chrome Reaper | Disposition: Hostile

The constructs speak in robotic voices, "Extirpate! Extirpate! Extirpate!"

We fight. They're more durable than their brass counterparts, but their joints still break with enough force or magic, and my [Electric Current] skill knocks them out from the inside out.

[Stay alert,] I tell my party. [I'm going to use a skill that might hide us and let us slip through.]

I take a deep breath, and pull up [Chameleon Aura] to make my aura look like a monster.

Warning: Unauthorized monster detected. Eco-guardians have been notified and are on their way to extirpate unidentified lifeform.

I grab the broken-off scythe of one of the Chrome Reapers and use that to copy my aura into that. My party half-watches, alert for more enemies, their auras curious as to what crazy nonsense the weird kid is doing this time. Turning [Chameleon Aura] into an Invocation might take some concentration but I think I can do this. I pull on Subterfuge (Disguise) while I'm at it as well. I start off with [Imbue Item] to channel those skills into the scythe, and feel them resonating with my class as they fuse into a new skill.

Skill acquired: Invocation (Illusory Mask) Description: Enchant an object to give off an illusion that masks the bearer's aura and appearance when active. Others will perceive them to be a being that normally bears the enchanted object.

Rowan cries out in alarm and spins around, his sword crashing into the scythe with a flash of light that causes the enchantment to break.

"Ah... crap, sorry," Rowan says. "I... didn't think your skill would be that effective."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Well, we have five more. Help me get them loose so I can enchant them all. And then maybe I can do something about making us look normal to party members. I've found necessity is the mother of invention, and the best way to get new skills is to need new skills."

Once I've gotten each of the scythes enchanted and distributed, another system notification comes.

Stand down from alert. Invasive species 'human' no longer detected. Resume normal patrols. Chrome Reaper, report to Maintenance Bay 7.

"Where's Maintenance Bay 7?" Melody wonders aloud.

Chrome Reaper, a Chrome Seeker has been dispatched to guide you back to Maintenance Bay 7 for repairs. Do not resist.

"Well, that's not ominous sounding at all," Jade mutters.

"Drake, Chrome Seeker wasn't on your monster list," Rowan says.

Soon, we're intercepted by a shiny floating sphere that's almost entirely eyeball.

Category: Monster | Type: Animated Object | Rank: Heroic | Class: Chrome Seeker | Disposition: Friendly

"Ah, you must be the malfunctioning squad," says the meter-wide steel eyeball, looking at me, looking into me. "I see. You're all missing a scythe and you have disgusting biomass stuck to you."

My illusionary disguise does not appear to completely fool a being a rank higher than me.

"Follow me. We'll get you sterilized and back to pristine condition in no time."

[We're going to need to kill this guy,] I tell my party. [Watch for the eye beams.]

The resulting fight with the eye bot is short but dramatic. Misty conjures a block of ice that partially absorbs the eye beam. Melody's song stuns the automaton, dropping it out of the air. Jade rips its metallic innards out with some ninja pirate move.

"How did you know about the eye beams?" Misty wonders.

[They always have eye beams.]

My scythe was damaged in the fight and my disguise stopped working, so I grab the eye bot and pour my new skill into that instead.

Chrome Seeker, escort the malfunctioning Reaper squad to Maintenance Bay 7.

"Acknowledged, command," I say aloud in a feigned robotic monotone. "Come with me to Maintenance Bay 7."

[I'm going to lead us to that dungeon I spotted,] I tell my party telepathically. [Hopefully it's plausibly on the way. Be ready for more company.]

You have discovered the Lost Factory.

Another dungeon door pretending to be some ancient ruin, in this case an automated factory continuing to run on its own without any sign of human supervision. There's a lobby with a guest rest area off to the side, but I've no doubt we'd be attacked by overzealous industrial robots should we go past the door marked 'Employees Only'.

There are a few couches, a coffee table, and a kitchenette with a magitech sink. On one wall stands a snack-dispensing vending machine, ready to provide small meals for more money than they'd probably be worth anywhere else.

"Would the food from that be okay to eat?" Misty wonders. "It looks like it's been ages since anyone has been here."

I examine the machine and say, "It doesn't store items. It just spawns them when you request them. There's no food inside just sitting around."

"Man, that means I can't break it open and just take some, either," Jade complains.

My companions line up to pop coins into the slot for their choice of treats. The items are all fine and nourishing, but a little bland.

Although they're keeping it together, the last section was a bit nerve-wracking, and there's tension in their auras. They still have faith in me to get them out of this safely, for now, so I had best not let them down. After filling my belly, I summon a [Ghostly Watcher] and lie down on a couch to take a nap.

After searching around, I determine that we're going to want to go up through the factory and into the sewers, rather than back out into the lower caverns where humans will get extirpated. The layer just below the surface is comprised of absurdly spacious sewers, and I wake up with maps and the location of an exit to the surface in my head.

"Alright, I know where we're going now," I say, sharing the information with my party telepathically. "Melody, do you recognize the area I came out at? There's a sign that says 'Crystal Stag Tea & Coffee'. I didn't detect any nearby aether cores."

Melody shakes her head. "No, that's a franchise and they're everywhere."

Jade muses aloud, "Well, that's still a good sign that it doesn't seem to be anywhere near anything sensitive, so we can slip out unnoticed."

"We just have to cross another dungeon first," Rowan says. "And then crawl through a sewer. What sort of puzzles or monsters are we looking at?"

"More automatons with tool arms, plus traps and puzzles," I say. "Nothing over Heroic rank in here that I spotted, but I hope you like chompers and mashy spike plates."

"Oh, goodie."

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