I took a deep breath of fresh air as the gentle sunlight warmed my face and snowflakes drifted down onto my nose. My body's first reaction was too tense. I had to fight to keep my eyes from dropping to the ground. Usually, snow just meant that training would be extra wet and cold, but after a day of rest I had gotten back on my feet again, and even the snow somehow seemed a pretty white, instead of a cold grey.

I tilted my head back and slowly exhaled, my breath carrying my worries along with it in the wispy vapor. Another deep breath of cold fresh air filled my lungs as my body began to relax. Giant snowflakes slowly descended like an angel's feathers. Light glinted off of them as they danced through the air, their size making the lattice structures easy to see. 'It really doesn't take much to make me happy anymore does it…'

My hand grazed against my chest, feeling a soft fur lining press against my skin. Its soft fur lining covered everything but my arms. Which was still a huge step up… But not perfect. The other one was being washed or something, so I was borrowing one of Lu's in the meantime.

'From what I heard, my old clothes were so ruined that they might as well not have existed anymore.' The thought made me a bit uncomfortable, thinking about how exposed I probably was after getting spit out of the monster's mouth, it wasn't like that was what anyone cared about at the moment…

'A day off… It's surprising. I'm almost at a loss, but there was always one thing I promised myself I'd do if I ever got the chance…'

My small footsteps snuck through the house to the kitchen where Jerrie's wife was making us all lunch. "Elsie?"

She first turned to her daughter, much younger but the same size as me, but when Effah shrugged she finally realized it was me who had called for her. "Oh, sorry. Did you need something?"

I flinched back as she not only turned fully towards me but stopped kneading the dough and got down on her knees to meet me at eye level. For a moment… I completely lost track of what I was going to say. "F-flour…" Without even realizing it I was white-knuckling my dress… To be honest, I didn't know her that well. I was comfortable around the soldiers… But… I hardly knew her since Mara cooked for me, and nothing was scarier than not knowing something…

She smiled softly and turned to Effah who all too eagerly raised her hand, hopping up and down for a moment before running to presumably go get it. "What do you need flour for? Are you baking something special?"

I looked to the side, scratching my cheek. "Well… I suppose you could call it cooking… In a manner of speaking…"

Effah brought me the flour, but as she handed it to me the weight of the sack toppled me over, leaving me on the ground, with the flour spilling across me like sand, even getting under my clothes. My body didn't even feel it when I hit the ground, and instead of pain, there was just an overwhelming sense of 'huh… This is fine… I'll just stay here awhile… Well, it's actually kind of hard to breathe.'

I suddenly felt a trickle of water and a soft rag cross my face, washing it out of my eyes before I began to start thinking clearly again. "Are you ok? Can you hear me? Did you hit your head?"

"I-I'm sorry mom. I-I–"

After a few coughs, I let out a long groan. "No, no I'm fine…" I rubbed my eyes for a second, finding myself confused by her worried expression, and feeling pity for the little girl before me who was in tears. "Hey, don't cry, it's not your fault. I just… Slipped, that must have been it." Breathing easy again I let out a soft sigh as Elsie helped me to stand again. "There are a lot of good things that came out of this ironically."

Elsie's worried expression somehow only intensified, confusing me more. "Like…"

'I said I was fine… What's with her? Even her daughter is calming down now and she's like 6…8? She grew up fast. She's so big she can't really be 6 right?' Rubbing my eyes again I reached out to her. "I-I'm… Can I have more water… My eyes…" I felt my hands shake as I asked for it… The only thing that was good about the body I was given was my eyes… They were my single greatest tool and strength, and gave me the ability to rapidly take in information and react… If they ever got damaged…

"Here."

I ran more water over them and rubbed them again… Though I doubt it actually helped, it did ease my mind, when I was finally done I answered her question. "At any rate. The flour sack is lighter now, so it'll be easier to carry…"

"What?"

I stared back at her. "You asked…" My eyes slowly looked down and I closed up the sack of flour. "You asked how it was good…"

"Right…"

Her silence made me uncomfortable, knowing in all likelihood she was thinking about me, and not knowing in what way… The last thing I wanted was another enemy, and friends had never done me any good, so there was no point in us not continuing as strangers. I quickly picked up the flour and left out the side door, forgetting to even say goodbye. Though, instantly regretting the fact that I had left at all. It seemed fitting that I would be greeted by the cold air of winter…

I was just a few hops away from my destination, and so without delay, I skittishly crossed the halls to the herb room, a dry, dark, and admittedly a bit of a scary place… I was always afraid of someone locking me in there… But it had never actually happened as of yet, so it was just a bit of anxiety. 'Now… Which ones are they? I have to be careful in case the organization has changed.'

Sorting through the pots and urns I carefully looked inside each one, taking advantage of my scarily good eyesight, even in the dark, and along with the feeling of the crushed herbs, identified each one. 'That's strange… They are all the same… But why is this one out of place? The only thing that would have changed recently would be Catherine coming back right? Did she need this for something?' I sighed. 'I guess she isn't the type of person to put things back how they are supposed to be…' Taking a deep breath in, I pinched my nose. 'I should be fast so I don't get caught…'

Though it was the herb cabinet… There were poisons in there too, ones I had taken before, and others I hoped I never would. Not all, but most of them had something in common though. They all happened to be white, and close enough in texture to flour that I could mix them without anyone knowing… In theory… So, that was exactly what I proceeded to do. Obviously, I couldn't replace it entirely, or if someone used it and it had no effect they would get suspicious… So, since I didn't really feel like taking Mara's word for it… That we would never do that type of training again… I devised a little plan to make sure It wouldn't suck as much. When I was done I caught myself smiling. 'That was… almost a year ago now.' I sighed again, folding up the flour sack and hiding it in my dress to be less suspicious. 'Even the air in here makes me sick… I wonder what normal kids do on their days off?'

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

I let out a sigh scratching my head with a dull chuckle as I walked outside again. 'Well, it's over now at least.' A small part of me wanted to play, spinning around, laughing, and jumping into snow piles, trying to see how deep I could sink as it compressed under my weight. Even the thought of it filled me with a sense of nostalgia, but just the thought, the action itself somehow seemed less appealing. Especially since in my past life, I had actually dislocated a hip jumping into a snow pile… One leg sinking, and the other hitting ice, instead of snow… It was the main reason I wasn't fond of heights…

'It's been over 20 years… it seems almost childish…' The sense of wonder the girl in my memories once possessed seemed so far away like it wasn't even mine, but someone else's entirely a strong disconnect forming between us… But I still smiled as I managed to catch a giant snowflake in my hand without it cracking. 'I am a child though… So… Shouldn't it be ok?'

The snow scraped against the bottom of my feet as it compressed under my weight. Light sparkled off of it as it perfectly covered the castle. A gentle frost stuck to the trees, and for the first time, it seemed more like a winter wonderland than a frigid deathtrap. Even my feet, which were still feeling the bite of the cold, felt hot as the snow melted underneath them.

I squatted down and gently scooped up a handful of snow, compressing it into a ball. It was wet and cold, but it was also the perfect consistency for making things with it. Snowmen, snow forts, snow caves. My sister and I would have so much fun every year just by ourselves.

I crushed it between my fingers and sprinkled it out over the ground like sand in a desert. 'I wonder, will I be able to find someone like her in this world? Guess I have to survive first.'

Falling on my back, I spread out my arms, letting the snow catch me. Then I made a snow angel. It wasn't fun like I remembered, just tiring.

My eyes blankly drifted from cloud to cloud, staring at the sky and watching the snowfall. 'It's as beautiful as the day Mara tried to kill me.' Of all the distant memories, that was the freshest in my mind, having just relieved it. But despite that, my feelings hadn't changed and remained dull to it all.

I raised a hand to the scar I still had on my neck from where she had cut me, my fingers cold against my skin, further reminding me of the feeling of steel pressing against it.

'It doesn't even bother me anymore. I wonder what that means. Have I forgiven her? No… I guess it's more like… I just don't care anymore?' I raised my hand up to the sky, looking at the sun between my fingers. 'I'll do my best to recover, and then I'll do my best to grow stronger. If I fail and die then I fail and die, and if I succeed I succeed… But those are all just meaningless thoughts, aren't they? From now on I'll try my best to live…'

My arm fell back to the ground as the snow around me continued to melt from my body's heat. 'I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. She never tried to kill me again. I don't hate her for it. I mean realistically, killing me would have probably been the smart choice from her perspective. Still, I can't forget it.'

The cold snow finally began to chill my body as I got lost in my own thoughts, gradually numbing the warmth I had felt from waking up covered in the fur blanket. "Siya?" A Soft and distant voice pulled me from the labyrinth of my own mind,

I opened my eyes and tilted my head up to see my brother standing over me. "Airsidh, It's weird seeing you here."

My reaction was emotionless, as my mind slowly regained conscious thought from having drifted so far away.

"What are you doing?" He asked, ignoring my question. Despite having approached me, his voice maintained its calm and lax tone I was familiar with. It was detached like he didn't care about anything, but unlike mine, it was also relaxed and carefree, almost… Happy… That's what I would call it.

'What am I doing… I'd like to know too…' "I'm…" 'Does this count as playing in the snow?' "Honestly… I don't know. Playing maybe?"

"Playing huh…" His gaze grew distant like his mind was taken to a different time and place. "Well if you're not busy, do you want to come here for a moment? There's a fire."

"There's a what!"

I sat up quickly, my eyes wide, but instinctively calmed by his lack of urgency. "O-oh… You meant like…" 'like as in to warm me up…'

He just rolled his eyes and stepped over, giving me a hand up.

I stood up, brushing the snow off of myself and readjusting my dress. Since it was too big, especially in the upper body, it had a habit of sliding off one shoulder. 'Knowing him there's only one place we could be going. It has to be the archery range right? But why does he want me there?'

I struggled to keep up with his pace, as he started walking through the deep snow "Hey– can you – slow down?" I asked, already running out of breath. 'Not just my muscles… But my lungs and my heart feel weak too…'

He stopped for a moment, turning to look at me. "Sure, I can do that."

'He actually slowed down?' When I finally caught up I took one last big step to arrive at his side… Causing me to slip on an ice slick and fall.

With thinking I grabbed onto the hem of his long tunic, managing to somehow catch myself as my feet slid apart. He didn't say a word, just stared at me silently.

I quickly got my feet back underneath me, still holding onto his tunic with a death grip out of reflex. 'He's so close.' He gave off a similar presence to my father. It was different to be sure, but I couldn't place how exactly… Although, intimidating, and a little scary, were certainly still true in both cases.

We blankly stared at each other, neither of us speaking. His body was turned towards me, and his hands were inches away from me in the direction I was falling. 'He was going to catch me? Why?' I felt chills go through my body. 'Wait… Wouldn't it be weird if he didn't?' I let out a long whiny groan. "Sorry," I mumbled, letting go and straightening my dress again as he averted his gaze. 'It's not like it's falling down, why is he having such a hard time looking at me?'

A small sigh escaped my lungs. "What are we doing anyway? Did you need something?" He looked back down at me, his eyes piercing through me, leaving me feeling exposed somehow and prompting me to pull my arms in close.

"Isn't it obvious, we're shooting?"

"Ok…" I stopped, letting my mind catch up to my mouth before I stumbled over my own words. 'I guess that's fair, we're at the range.' "Why though?"

His eyes grew distant again, but they never lost contact with mine. "Why were you lying in a snowbank?"

"Fair enough… Because I could… I guess…"

He nodded, entering the door without another word. 'There's something wrong with him…' I walked in behind him to feel the familiar quiet atmosphere of the room. He was the only one who specialized in archery, and even he rarely practiced. Even when he was there he was quiet as a dead man. In other words, even if I wasn't alone there, it still felt like it. It was the perfect place to clear my mind and find a bit of peace.

"Grab a bow." His words were directed right at me, but they still seemed so distant, like he was speaking to me from the other side of the river of the dead.

"Alright then Mr. Dark and enigmatic…" It was starting to make me nervous. Still, I grabbed a children's bow from the wall and strung it with a bit of effort.

I may have been confused, but he wasn't asking all that much from me. Even if I couldn't draw a normal bow very well, if all that mattered was that we shot together then it was easy.

He stretched his fingers, making a fist several times to loosen the stiffness brought on by the cold. "One arrow in each target, points determine the winner." After a glance he walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a war bow, easily stringing it and handing it to me. "Try this one."

"Each target…" I muttered, repeating after him as I hesitantly took it. my eyes fixating on the ones in the far distance. 'That could be… Difficult.' I knew the range like the back of my hand. The dojo where we shot from was small, and decorated with paintings and racks for bows. It had braziers for heat, and a soft tatami mat for footing. The firing lanes bled out from one side with 14 targets… 3 of which were over a hundred yards out… Not to mention… I had only ever drawn a real war bow three times, straining my shoulder after the third…

"Just do your best." He said softly, a faint smirk crossing his face. "If it's too hard… You can go back to the other one, no worries."

His feet didn't make a sound as he walked to the back wall, grabbing his custom-made bow from its pedestal. 'He's really using that one… But he only uses that for important things. He doesn't even use it in most monster hunts… Because there would be practically nothing left…'

I heard the tension and power of his massive limbs bending as he strung it. The wiry string screeched like a crane cable that was holding too much weight, and the limbs creaked, sending out a bone-chilling echo.

'It's supposed to sound like that… Right?'

Even after stringing it, it was well over his own height, and each limb looked like it was made out of the trunk of a young tree. It was intricately carved and treated, the soft blue and white wood almost emitting a faint glow as the limbs stretched with a palpable force.

After a few arm circles with his right shoulder and a crack of his neck, he gave it a small pull to test the feel of the weight. "I'll go first," he said. His voice was soft and quiet. Still, it left a faint echo as if it carried the power of the wind itself. My heart skipped a beat as he stepped up to the first lane and the wind blew through his shoulder-length hair that faded to white like a fire in the snow. I hated to admit it, but I couldn't look away.

My thoughts stopped still as I watched him pick up an arrow with a tip as wide as my head and effortlessly knocked it into his bow, getting ready to shoot.

It was my first time ever seeing his custom bow actually strung, much less seeing him use it, and when he tightened his grip on the string and his muscles bulged from the intensity of the draw it sent chills down my spine. The match was on.

'Here we go… The game is on.'

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