I sighed, tucked my cloak underneath myself and sat down, leaning against the tree.

I was right, I really should try to be more introspective.

Err, well, not 'I' the other 'I'. The first 'I', not the second… Wait, did that even make sense?

"Before we talk about anything serious, we really need to give you a second name. Because this is getting confusing and hard to track who's talking," I said to my other self, who was inhabiting a doll.

I could have sworn there were two dolls earlier, but maybe she had the other one doing something else.

"You're not just asking to avoid the discussion?" she asked. Which was fair, because I was definitely doing it to delay it.

I indicated 'nope' using a Rootgesture. Which was the only term that made sense because Rootspeech had speech in the name—

"You're getting distracted," she said.

"How would you know? I hadn't even followed that line of thought for more than a hundredth of a second."

"Whenever you start a train of thought, the Mana consumption within the part of the Core that performs executive functions increases by sixteen percent... Novi," she replied while looking at the ground.

"Sorry, what was that at the end there?" I asked.

"I like the name Novi," she said. Her thoughts radiated embarrassment over our connection.

"Aww, it's cute! What did you base it on?" I said, picking the doll up and squeezing her.

"Ca—bre," Novi squeaked out.

"You know we don't need to breathe, or to even speak out loud," I replied, squeezing harder. I felt something pop inside her body due to the pressure,

[It's Latin]

"The plural form of the novus, so 'many-new', I presume? Because we wouldn't choose novi as in 'I know' that would be an odd choice," I muttered using a Rootspeech word to attempt to express the plural version of the word 'new', and finally let her go. "Also, what the hell, Latin? Did you revert to us at the age of fifteen, trying to come across as smart? That's incredibly cringy."

"Do not kill the part of you that is cringe," Novi began.

"Kill the part of you that cringes. Yeah, yeah, alright, little sage, what wisdom dost thou have to bestow unto mineself?" I grumbled, but she was right; that didn't mean the advice was easy to follow, especially considering how we learned to mask.

"And you called me cringe," she said with a shake of her head and a chuckle. Novi sat down right on my lap and leaned her head against me.

"You knew Nyxie was going to react negatively," she said, and if I had a heart, it would have skipped a beat. Instead, my fibres all clenched together for a moment, which was an odd sensation.

Right, she's me. She knows me more than anyone in the multiverse. I forgot.

"Yeeeah, sort of," I replied. "Like, yes, I knew the moment I started getting annoyed, but I didn't really internalize that fact."

"Why did you do it then?" she asked.

Why did I?

"We've… Hmm," I started, then failed to find the words. I didn't need to speak in words, though, so instead I sent over that vague feeling of frustration I was feeling to her.

"Yeah, this world certainly hasn't felt very empowering," Novi replied to my nonsense ball of feelings, her voice like the quiet rustling of leaves.

She didn't say anything else for a bit. Just sat there, leaning against me. For a moment, it felt like I wasn't really alone. Except I was, and I was talking to myself.

I let out a breathy huff at the thought.

"Here, how about an easier one. Why did you head in the direction of the heart of the Malificarum infestation instead of away from it?" As I opened my mouth to speak, Novi continued, "Don't tell me that you were following the mental compulsion. We both know that you could have ignored it if you cared to."

"Because… It doesn't matter what I do. If we die, we die. If we survive, we survive. With the forces in play, why should I bother tempering my actions if an errant thought from one of the gods could lead to me being atomized?" I replied, an uncomfy feeling welled up within my chest. Before I continued, I sent a quick prayer to any gods listening in on me right now, and after I confirmed no Mana loss went on, "Nothing I do matters, I'm going to end up in hell one day anyway. In the incredibly unlikely chance I don't, then I'll be sold as a slave to some god or another, living the rest of my life as their puppet until someone or something finally kills me and I get sent to hell anyway.

"The last thing I do in this body will probably be slitting the throat of the person who ruined it. Either that or some kind of massive fuck you to every god involved in this whole thing. I haven't decided yet. Obviously, immediately after whatever I end up doing, if I even make it that far, my soul will be sandblasted off the face of whatever Plane I'm standing on by every divine entity paying even the slightest bit of attention."

"You haven't touched on the third option," Novi said in a quiet voice.

"What's that? Find a way to destroy my Soul fully? Kaelzar mentioned a True Soul existing. That sounds like something that would finally let me escape. From everything." I realized I was clutching Novi hard and loosened my grip.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

They nestled into me and whispered, "No. I don't think that's a productive line of thought to follow."

"You're right. What's the chance someone with the capability would actually be interested in destroying my Truesoul?" I replied, just as a notification forced itself into my vision.

Li Wei has become the Lord of the City of Humanity, Fateswatch. Would you like to receive citizenship and be subject to the relevant laws and charters outlined in…

I hit no without even reading the full message. Figured that guy would become important somehow. I wondered how many times he'd done that. It didn't affect me in any way, though, so I didn't care.

I wondered how Hazel was doing. I hadn't heard from her in a bit.

"You're getting off track," Novi grumbled, which was fair. I was trying to do that, yes. She knew me… Or I guess in this instance I should say she knew the exact amount of Man—

"Ellie."

"Yeah, okay, that was my bad. You know I don't like thinking about myself. I don't have whatever alteration allows you to handle introspective meditation."

"It's not that I don't find it miserable. We diverged a bit when I was created, obviously, but not that much. I just realized I needed to push past it if I wanted to help you." Novi said, turning her wide eyes to look up at me. "Sometimes you gotta prioritize. Find what you love and let it kill you and all…"

I blinked in surprise, "You're saying what you love is… Yourself? Me? That doesn't make any sense. I hate myself. How?"

"Every version of ourselves came with a change, you noticed that," she half replied. Then faked clearing her throat and looked away. "I guess mine was that I saw you as precious."

I felt woozy, and my vision blurred. I tried to flicker my eye sensors, blinking repeatedly, but they wouldn't clear.

With a shuddering breath, I asked, "So the third option then?"

"There's still a way out." Novi replied, "Claim divinity yourself, and escape from the grasp of whoever tries to stop you. You already know it's possible, and you have the motivation. Can you… pretend that we're going to achieve that? Don't throw your life away. I'm disposable. My body can be used in place of yours."

I had a sudden realization. "Your other doll!"

"Oh, right, I forgot. I have something for you. But before that please, can you promise me that you'll pretend like you aren't completely helpless to fate?" she asked, her little hands dug into my legs.

"Hrhnm, fine," I mumbled. She didn't move but her hands dug deeper into my legs, "Okay, geez, no need to tug my heartstrings. I promise I'll act like I'm in control of how my future plays out."

Warning: Oaths are binding

"Wait, you cheeky little brat, you knew—" I was cut off when she dumped her entire exploration of the concept of Winter into my head.

The world went white around me as a vision burned itself into my mind. I saw reality crystallize itself before me. Nothing could change unless I willed it. The world was absolutely silent, and an endless night descended over the world. And then I accidentally shattered it.

Not on purpose. Not even consciously. A flicker of thought, 'there was no way I could maintain this,' and a fracture formed.

The Oath caught it and re-centred me to pretend like I could maintain it, before the crack could annihilate everything I saw. It felt like I very nearly broke the conceptualization. This then happened hundreds of times in less than a second, but every time my mind began to wander, the Oath pulled me back into step. I had to pretend it was real. Metaphysically, I couldn't act like it wasn't.

Winter was control, Winter was MY CONTROL.

The illusion vanished, and everything returned to as it was. As if what I had experienced had just been in my mind. I couldn't even tell if it had been or not.

"Oh," I peeped. That made sense.

"Oh, indeed," Novi said, hopping off my lap.

"You manipulated me!" I grumbled, "For my own good, too, which is the worst part."

She flashed a grin at me. "Gotcha bitch! Now you're gonna live and enjoy it."

"Both of those qualifiers are still to be determined," I said, mostly to myself.

"Doesn't matter, if either is in doubt, well, I'll make sure we fix that."

"Dick."

"Love you too!"

"I swear to all of the heavens above, and the hells below, I have no fucking idea how you managed this on your own without an uncoerced Oath to help you. How the fuck did you even find out that the Oath has to be made freely and in the interest of another party?"

Every time I almost failed the Oath, a sliver of knowledge about what I committed to the process was fed into my mind as a reminder about what I promised. The details simmered in my mind as the Oath failure cascade was blocked by reality itself, which in totality coalesced as an explanation about what the Oath fundamentally meant.

"How many Oaths do you think I made on my own, testing the limits?" Novi asked, her hands crossed behind her back as she looked into the treeline.

"I don't know, hundreds?"

"Twenty-six thousand-ish tests," she replied. "But how many worked?"

"None," I replied.

Novi hummed, "One."

I groaned, "The one you made with me. That was also a test. You didn't even need it, did you? Not with the way we think."

"Rena."

I flinched.

Before I had even allowed myself to finish subconsciously reacting to the thought, I had excised it, then deleted the processing requirement, and encased it in a layer of Winter. It was perfect, automatic control over my mind.

I began giggling, "Oh, you don't even know what you did, do you. I would never let a loved one—"

I couldn't even complete the sentence as I broke down into laughter.

"What?"

"Nah, it'll be funnier if you don't know. I'm in control, remember?" I said. I had achieved supreme victory over her. Her entire position collapsed, and I won both a moral and intellectual victory. I expressed this through Rootgesture.

Novi eyed me suspiciously, but let it go. Instead, she just commented on my gesture, "I understand what you're trying to say, but you realize you're just T-posing at me, right?"

"It's supposed to symbolize an eternal tree—Oh, whatever, the nuance is lost on you," I replied, and maintained my frame successfully.

"You're thinking something fucking stupid, aren't you?" she prodded.

"No, I have no idea what you mean," I replied, suddenly glad I didn't have sweat glands. My frame was one step away from folding like a piece of paper.

"I'm not going to even dignify that with a response. Also, I had to give you this."

Class Level (Neophyte Conduit) Increased +13 (47) +26 Wit, +39 Spirit, +26 Fortitude, +39 Arcana

My frame faltered and collapsed, "Wha—I thought we didn't restrict levels from each other anymore."

"Nope, it's a toggle. I think that description just means we don't need to re-merge. The Skill selection is still available for you, of course." I leapt to my feet and pulled her into a sweeping hug.

"Oh, you didn't! My favourite present! A new Skill," I said, twirling her around in place on one foot, my body completely ignoring friction as I removed outside control over it using Winter.

Then I released control, stopping on a dime. Damn, this was fun. I couldn't wait to play around with it.

I opened the Skill options.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.