"What is even the point of this!?" I whine as I run laterally, another metal ball shot by the runic contraption glancing from my shield. Its face – if you can call a rounded block of runesteel with a tube protruding from the center a face – continues to track me despite my efforts.

The teacher chuckles in a way I can somehow hear over the din of metal on metal, not alone in my predicament on the large practice field.

"You are practicing blocking projectiles," he finally answers, "both training you will need for the exhibition matches and that you are sorely lacking."

I grunt in pain as one of them finally slips past my defense to tag me in the shoulder, punctuating his words.

And then I drop to the ground in a heap, my body stiffened by the paralyzing magic it held.

"And no resistance to lightning magic either," the teacher tuts.

"W-w-w-w-well," I force through the convulsions, "y-you t-t-t-tr-t-try it-t-t? J-j-jackass."

Ignoring my words he gestures to another bystander, who leans in and smugly grins.

"Why don't you just stay down there for a while, hmm? Ah, I know. Where is your lunch? I owe you a lot of payback."

I glare as best I can up at Lyra, though I struggle to produce a response through the pain. But I'm sure she knows.

She knows that I know better! No, my lunch is in my dimensional storage where she can't reach it!

Apparently hers was too, considering the small bottle of brownish-red liquid she retrieves from nowhere before removing the stopper, both accurately and unceremoniously drizzling it across only the white parts of my field uniform.

Mustard. Of course it's mustard, she knows I hate it, but not just any mustard… it's that awful, smelly stuff she uses. The kind I can stand the least.

And now I get to smell it for the rest of the day.

That's when I remember the teacher behind her.

"Ahem. That's quite enough. Dispel the effect, if you please?" he says, his eyebrow twitching.

"This is especially effective team building though, Mister Fellows! Shouldn't we continue for at least a little while? It could… convince her to trust and depend on me more."

I don't miss the dark smile she shows after turning her head to conceal it from our supervision.

"No. Now. If you please."

The mage finally sighs and raises her book, flipping it to a dogeared page that she's used a lot thanks to me and Joy. Arguably she could have already had it open, considering she knows exactly why she's here with me now, but there's no doubt in my mind that her intent is to make me wait a precious few seconds longer like a worm on the ground.

And she takes her time too, even with the incantation.

I finally have enough control of my body to push myself up on my arms, every muscle in my body shaky and sore.

"B-bitch," I grunt.

"Asshole. You deserve worse, 'party bleeder'. Get up."

My teeth continue to chatter as I struggle to get my legs under me. The mage only bothered to blunt the effect enough that I can move, not gain full mobility. No, she hasn't bothered with that at all during today's practice, insisting that it'll be better practice for me to shrug off the pain.

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Gods I hate her.

"I'll give you two minutes to regain your composure and then we continue."

I only barely resist glaring at the instructor. There's no point in being angry with him… I'm the problem. I'm not fast enough, and I'm not good enough with a shield.

Practice.

I need more practice.

A few minutes later I'm once again face down on the ground groaning while Lyra gloats over me. Because of course she is.

"You need to step into that kind of attack angle or it'll just knock you off balance every time," Joy offers unhelpfully.

"Yeah," I grumble through a mouthful of dirt, "you already said that. I'm not as strong as you, alright? And not as fast. I didn't get trained for years and years by some super swordsman that works for my evil 'divine parents'.

"Hey, my mom isn't evil!"

He almost shrivels under my flat stare before stammering, "W-well, the one isn't. Probably!"

"Well, 'her highness' supposedly committed mass atrocities, right? What about the other one?"

"…"

I nod back. "Yeah, I thought so. Evil Stop denying it. At least you haven't, I don't know, slaughtered entire orphanages after eating their ice cream in front of them or something."

"You know I wouldn't do that!"

"Wouldn't you?"

"Shut up. All you ever have to say is more inane, hostile bullshit and I'm sick of it. Gods, if you didn't know how to read the fucking books-" Lyra interjects before I interrupt her.

"-You wouldn't make any progress at all, yes, I know. Too bad the dumb hostile one isn't as dumb as you, right? Hm? Maybe you should shut up instead."

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Stop it!" Joy cuts in, his hand already traveling down his face. "By the gods, Shaya is right! You don't stop, do you? Never, never, never! If it's not the one, it's the other, or both! I'd ask why the hells she picked you of all people, but I already know!"

That gives me pause.

"Woah, wait. Why did she pick me? Tell me. Tell me there's some kind of reason for this stupidity."

…

…

"Well? I'm waiting."

"Ah, it's j-just…"

I level another flat stare at him and he only holds out for a minute before answering anyway. He's a pushover.

"She, um. She didn't. Pick you, I mean. She just kind of started playing the game thing she made, to make the other gods leave her alone, to distract them from picking on her, I think."

***

Random chance.

All of it.

Losing my home.

Losing my friends.

Everything.

All just because of random chance.

…

I have no idea how to process any of it, so instead I simply went home.

Or, to the portal thing at least. It's not home, it never will be… not really. Mom isn't here either, she's at her job.

...Actually, she works a lot now, doesn't she?

…

…

I hope she's not avoiding me.

After tossing another frog into Lyra's room I head for the bath, already starting to strip off my uniform before I've even entered.

And once I do, I'm met by a very surprised wolfman.

"Woah, hey, what? I'm in here! What are you-"

"Oh shut up," I interrupt without slowing down one bit, "it's not like it matters."

I drop into the water without another word. It's not like I have much to say anyway.

Apparently neither does Joy, although he is angling his head away, but I can't bring myself to care. There's far too much on my mind.

After a while of sitting in silence in the nearly-scalding water the door opens again to reveal Shaya in a towel, who immediately gasps and almost drops it.

"Come on in, the water's fine," I drawl dryly, signing a gesture of greeting before pointing down.

…

And she's fidgeting… and it looks like she's changing colors again too. Is that a forest elf thing? At first I thought maybe she was blushing but there's no way… her kind regularly practice communal bathing so I'd immediately dismissed it the first time I'd seen it, but it's still happening.

Huh.

A moment of visible indecision later, she drops into the water next to me and ducks tightly down, blowing bubbles under the surface and refusing to make eye contact. Actually, I'm surprised she can fit her entire body to the water level without stretching out her legs and laying back, considering her height.

Well, whatever. It's better than her just standing there being weird.

Joy meanwhile just gives me a sheepish grin and chuckles uncomfortably before getting up and saying, "I, uh. I've been in here long enough, I think I'll give you two some space maybe?"

For some reason the archer gives him a quick glare but he just gives her a knowing smile and a thumbs up before leaving the room.

...Leaving the two of us alone again. Which is fine.

She's more or less become my best friend, and I hope she feels the same way.

Or, well. Maybe the closest I have, even if not 'best'. I'm not sure I have that many friends anymore.

Or any.

I sigh at the thought but don't miss the quick glance Shaya sends me before looking away again.

So I tap her on the shoulder and she flinches. She's been doing that a lot lately now that I think of it…

「What?」

She doesn't answer, instead quickly looking away again and laughing awkwardly. So I grab her by the cheeks and forcibly turn her face toward me, giving her a concerned expression before again signing, 「What?」

Instead of answering she pushes away from the side of the bath and heads for the door while offering a clumsily pronounced, "Sorry!"

…

She… wasn't even here long enough for a decent bath…?

I wonder what all that was about.

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