Note: Do not read. A test run chapter because I am about to start uploading after a long hiatus. You can drop a comment in this paragraph.

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In the depths of an abyss, a slender figure with a bent back could be seen trudging forward. It wore a long coat and a black hat that failed to conceal the white hair fluttering with each step. Heavy dark bags hung under his eyes, as if he had been robbed of rest for ages.

"Kuso! Those damn upper gods! Sending me on dangerous errands like I'm some slave. Just wait—just wait until I become an upper god after farming enough misery! I'll send every last one of them straight to the afterworld!" Dark Schneider roared, gritting his teeth as he marched onward.

Then suddenly, he froze. His expression tensed, the hair on his neck rising as dread crawled over him.

"N-Nande… don't tell me…" Dark Schneider swirled his hand in a circle, opening a small portal. Through it, he watched Okun being born, then carried home on the back of a wild dog to a rundown shack. He saw Okun cursing his fate for being born into such poverty.

A crude smile twisted Dark Schneider's lips, but quickly vanished as he kept watching.

"N-Nande… he's supposed to be my misery gourmet… how?" He clutched his temples, a thick vein bulging on his forehead until it ruptured, spilling ichor.

"KUSO!!! DON'T THANK ME, YOU BASTARD!! I AM THE GOD OF MISERY! YOU WERE MEANT TO SUFFER!!!" Dark Schneider bellowed, tears spilling down his cheeks.

Slowly, he rose and began laughing, one palm covering his eyes.

"Interesting… I used most of my divine energy to reincarnate that bastard into the worst place imaginable, hoping to get triple the divine energy back. He was supposed to be my gourmet, my guinea pig for misery… yet here he is, living life to the fullest, even thanking me for it, hahahaha!" Dark Schneider cackled, standing tall once more.

"This human is far more interesting than I thought. I overlooked him because of that errand Aphrodite dumped on me. That fucking bitch. Well, I'm almost done with it. Human, prepare for the calamity about to befall you, kekeke!!" His laughter grew unhinged, his expression turning manic.

Without realizing it, the god of misery was slowly losing more than a few screws.

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We boarded the carriage, and after a few final exchanges with my wives, I gave them my last goodbyes. Leyasu and I were both a bit down about leaving. Honestly, it's hard walking away from my comfort zone when I could just keep burying my dick in different hoes.

But that's like exploring only 0.1 percent of this world. Besides, with Prime Minister Honest's insanity and Esdeath's battle–crazed bloodlust, it wouldn't take long before my village got caught in their massacres. I can't sit back and watch my loved ones die. I finally have people I care for, people I must protect. My fists clenched tight.

"Okun-sama, you look troubled. Is everything alright?" Tatsumi asked, tapping me on the arm.

"Everything's fine. I'm just worried about everyone back home," I replied with an unreadable expression.

"Me too," Leyasu added quietly.

"Hahaha, sokka… I'm actually excited to leave the village," Tatsumi said brightly. "Of course, I'll miss my mom and Roku, but I've got nothing to worry about since I have you all with me. I believe they'll be fine. Neru-sama is called the best hunter for a reason, even Mr. Greg vouched for her."

As expected, he's thrilled about leaving the village. Just like in the series, he easily forgot about his village and quickly moved on from his two best friends' deaths. This is the same guy who also cut ties with his father. If you ask me, Tatsumi is stone-hearted.

Sayo, on the other hand, seemed indifferent to our chatter, only humming to herself.

I let out a sigh and lowered my back on the bed inside the carriage. It was a large carriage with two mini beds and a curtain that could be rolled down, splitting the space and shielding the view of the other side.

As I laid there, my mind wandered, trying to recall the major plot of the series. Over the years, the memories had grown vague, and I could barely piece things together. Still, I remembered the key events.

"I'll lie down beside you. No… I'll lie on top of you," Sayo suddenly said, throwing herself onto me.

"W-What are you doing, Sayo!?" Leyasu stammered.

"Huh, what kind of question is that, virgin boy? Of course I want to get intimate with my fiance," Sayo replied.

"M-Me… v-virgin boy?" Leyasu choked, an invisible arrow piercing his heart.

"Oi, don't let Sayo tease you. There's a reason Okun-sama rented such a big carriage. Let's just drop the curtain and head to the other side," Tatsumi said, grabbing Leyasu.

"Eyhhhaa! Why are you holding my hands? You're not a girl!" Leyasu yelped and kicked him, sending Tatsumi rolling.

"What do you mean I'm not a girl, you weirdo?!"

Sigh, these two… I muttered to myself as I stood up and pulled down the curtain, then plopped back onto the bed.

"Darling, talk to me. Tatsumi's right, you look worried," Sayo suddenly whispered.

"Yeah, I am worried. One day you might face a hard choice, Sayo. But no matter what you decide, you're still mine," I said, leaving her confused.

"W-What do you mean? I'll never leave you. Even if you turned into a bad guy, I'd stand by you. I want to be a soldier because of you, Okun!" Sayo declared firmly.

"I see…"

At this point, I'll let things play out without much interference from my hypnosis. It's better for Sayo and Leyasu to join the revolutionary army under another General instead of Najenda. But how would I make that happen? Guess I'll have no choice but to use my powers. Besides, when will the bandits show up?

A whole day passed with nothing happening, except for the hot steamy sex Sayo and I had in the carriage at night, which made the charioteer, Tatsumi, and Leyasu curse at us. On the second day, we stopped by a river, caught some fish, and had breakfast before continuing on. I was starting to feel disappointed and even confused as we neared the empire when, suddenly, it happened.

NEIGHINNNNHGHHHHHH!!!

The horses neighed violently, shaking the whole carriage.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!!" the charioteer bellowed, only for his voice to be cut short by a grunt, as if struck. A barrage of arrows suddenly hammered into the carriage.

"Okun-sama! Bandits are attacking us, let's run!" Tatsumi shouted, horror plastered on his face. Seeing that fear, I finally understood why the pussy ran off, leaving Sayo and Leyasu in the series.

"Run? Why should we run?" I asked, still calmly composed despite the rain of arrows striking our carriage.

"Why do you look so calm, Okun-sama?! Screw it!" Tatsumi cursed, kicking open the door near the bush (the carriage had two doors) before dashing into the thicket.

Leyasu looked ready to follow but stopped midway, glancing back at me and Sayo in hesitation, gritting his teeth.

"You can follow him if you want, but that's one of the dumbest things to do. Even the charioteer played dead instead of running when he had the chance after being hit by an arrow," I said, and Leyasu sank back into his seat, unsettled by my confidence. Sayo, on the other hand, looked assured, her conviction in me clear.

"H-How did you know?" Leyasu stammered.

"It's simple. Bandits use different tactics. The most common is starting with a barrage of arrows, hoping to eliminate their targets before moving in to finish the job and loot everything. In such a situation, the smartest move is to stay put. Even if you're strong, most of them flee once they see your skill," I explained.

Seeing Tatsumi bolt, I finally understood why he was separated from his friends in the series. My suspicion about his heartless nature was confirmed. He didn't hesitate to abandon his allies to save his own ass. His growth later only came after watching his friends die, then he blamed himself and vowed to change. In truth, Tatsumi is a scumbag, and now that I would save Sayo and Leyasu, I wonder how he'll turn out.

Stubborn pawn…

Abruptly, the arrows ceased raining, replaced by the sound of rushing footsteps closing in.

"Prepare your weapons," I commanded, and the duo nodded. Sayo drew a long dagger, her bow useless at close range, while Leyasu hefted his battle axe. I tightened my grip on my saber.

"Search the carriage and kill anyone alive! Stupid aristocrats deserve death!"

A voice barked from somewhere ahead.

I signaled Sayo and Leyasu silently, and they affirmed with nods. One bandit flung open the second carriage door only to be met with Sayo's dagger piercing his neck.

"URGH!!" he screamed, clutching his throat as blood spurted before collapsing lifeless. Even I was taken aback by her ruthlessness, though it was thanks to the special orientation I drilled into her.

"KUSO!!! THEY'RE STILL ALIVE! KILL THEM ALL!!" a bandit howled, and the mob charged as we leapt from the carriage.

Outside, I counted at least twenty of them rushing us with different types of weapons, with others still hidden in the bushes.

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