Anath struggled to cut through the monster's hide and flesh. It was as though it had dense skin and muscle, like Klaw. It likely did, thinking about it. The frustration of it had almost made her want to scream. What didn't help was the… others.
She could feel them. Lisa and Pote. He was washing her wounds and applying some sort of cream. She looked more annoyed than in pain. They might as well have been staring at her.
All day, she had been stiff. It felt like she was pressed against a window. On display, feared and hated. One push away from cracking the glass and ruining everything. Again.
Daggat was the one holding her there. Pushing her metaphorical face right up against it. He pulled her along, ignoring her discomfort and, even though she wouldn't admit it, fear. It wasn't his fault. Anath said nothing. He didn't understand. She wasn't SUPPOSED to be seen. And as his second in command, Anath had to be strong.
Yet, they were so… present. Not so much the dwarf. He was fine. Quiet and unassuming. But Lisa. She was frightening. Not just her brutality or strength. But the quick glances towards Anath. Her eyes betrayed greed, disgust, lust, hatred, and everything else Anath was taught to fear. The woman had tossed her aside like she was worthless, just to get the final hit on some monster. Like a thing that was worthless or should be owned or killed for experience.
That was how everyone saw monsters. How they would see her, if she let them. That was why her father locked her away. So they wouldn't see and hate.
Anath noticed her hands shaking. She took a steadying breath and told herself to be strong. Anath continued cutting away at the monster.
A few minutes later, she had removed the heart and core from the beast. Monster cores were not at all like she expected them to look. Almost like a small stomach with strange, silvery sinews forming a lattice inside of it. A mix between an organ and a cage.
She wiped sweat off her brow, leaving a smear of blood. Then she noticed Lisa watching her. Shame and anger fought each other inside Anath. The result was a blush and awkward shifting.
"You done?" Lisa asked.
Anath managed a nod. Her shoulder still ached.
"About time," Lisa mumbled. She wandered down the hole Daggat had disappeared into.
Anath let out a breath. She hated how much one woman affected her emotional state. In truth, she was only the fourth or fifth human she had truly met. Sixth, if she considered the man who shot her. That didn't give her any time to get used to it. Sure, Hunter was a mortal. But he was an ogre. Something from her storybooks. So were the goblinoids, the lizard man, and the gremlin. Real, but not… REAL. They were stories she could be a part of.
This was a childish way of thinking, she knew. But it helped. Most of the real people she knew were dead. The spider had killed them all.
Even her father. While not deceased, her presence had worn away at his soul until he was only the shell she left behind.
"Um," A voice said, taking her out of her spiraling thoughts. "Sorry about her."
Anath looked at Pote for a long moment, then she gathered her wits.
"It's… fine. I've got ruder friends."
"It's not fine. She's rough. Good at heart, but careless. Brash. She has trouble seeing things from other people's perspective. And she can get… carried away."
"A bully."
"Yes." He admitted. "But, not for the sake of being a bully. She just sees the world in her own way."
"Are you her, friend?"
"Her only one, I think. I, too, see the world in my own way. So, we get along. Just don't let her get under your skin. And sorry about the shoulder. She… doesn't like to share."
Anath gave him a faint smile. Her roughhousing wasn't the issue. But, she couldn't say what it was. He wouldn't understand. Nobody would understand. Pote's eyes moved to something behind her. Lisa had returned.
She felt her attic walls fall away, once again. Exposing herself to prying, hungry eyes.
Stupid… Anath. She thought to herself. She was an adventurer now. Strong. Deadly. She had friends and a home. A family. It was time to put away her storybooks. Steeling herself, she turned to face Lisa with a smile.
"Hey, um, good work back there," Anath said as Lisa walked towards them. She had been trying very hard to get out of her shell lately. Taking Elyndris's advice to not shy away when meeting new people. It had been hard, but it was also paying off.
"Thanks. You too. It was pretty slick, how you crawled your way up its back. Like a real spider." Lisa flashed her a grin. The same look the goblinoids had when they spotted a weakness. Or… was it just a normal smile? Anath couldn't tell. All she saw were the eyes.
Anath's breath quickened, and her face flushed. "I'm not a spider." She hissed.
"Right, right, sorry." She said. "Touchy subject." Her voice took on a mocking tone.
Anath glared at her.
"Relax. I'm just toying with you. Seriously, though, how did you get so strong? I've got a class thing that gives me strength, even when I'm not raging. A variant thing?"
"Class thing. The more I hit, the stronger I become." Anath said, confidence coming back. Lisa was uncomfortably close, but something kept Anath from moving away. Some instinct told her Lisa might chase her.
"And you DON'T want to use your legs all the time? Are you crazy? That's so cool."
"I can't"
Pote backed off slowly. He could see a confrontation coming, but he wasn't the type to step in.
"Why not?"
"Because I can't!" Anath growled.
"What, are you too good for them? Holding back because you might be too dangerous? Here's some news for you, out here, you aren't that strong. Use your advantages." Lisa crossed her arms and looked down at Anath. She was a few inches taller than Anath.
"I won't use the spider unless I have to. And it doesn't always listen." Anath felt her chest tighten. She looked around for an escape. For help. Daggat was nowhere. Pote had run away.
"Listen to you? 'Unless I have too.'? She mocked. "Or unless you get mad. I bet you do it when you're not thinking about it, don't you? Attack with them. I've seen you block with them. Don't be a fucking hypocrite and just… let go, girl. Be the beast."
"Shut up," Anath whispered halfheartedly. Lisa didn't seem to hear her.
"I bet you've used that venom of yours too, haven't you. I assume you've got venom." Lisa noticed Anath taking a shaky step back. "You DID. That has to be a fun story. So, what's the problem?"
"I didn't bite anyone! I didn't stab anyone! It was the spider. Not me. THE SPIDER." Anath's self-hatred bubbled over into raw hate. She drew her swords.
Lisa looked surprised, then grinned. Slowly, she widened her stance. "The spider… the spider. You are like a drunk blaming the drink. The spider. Here's some wisdom for you, girl. Those legs… those fangs. Even the RAGE inside of you. That's you. Ain't no such thing as 'the spider.'"
Anath couldn't say anything. She knew. Of course, she knew. It was written in the status screen. Nobody else had problems controlling their biotraits. Knowing didn't make it go away.
Every part of her wanted to lash out at Lisa. To make the thoughts stop and crawl back into the attic. Yet, she remembered what Lisa did to the bear. Anath didn't want to become the next thing in a long line of things hunted for experience.
Lisa, oblivious to Anath's inner storm, went on. "Do you know what I have to do to just get a taste of your potential? I have to seek it out, risk my life. YOU are given power on a silver platter. You can become anything, with biotraits." Something dawned in Lisa's mind. "Oh. I get it. You're not just some girl with a monster soul, are you?"
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"I am," Anath said with a cold rage. She stood still. Too still.
"No… You are just a monster pretending to be a girl. It's obvious when you think about it. Variants are born that way. Means you were born a monster."
"I'm not the monster. I didn't kill them." Anath said. Tears were obscuring her view.
Lisa stepped right up to Anath. Looked her directly in the eyes. "Them? Oh, I bet you did. But that's okay. It's not a bad thing to be a badass monster."
And that, finally, was enough. The window shattered. Her attic crumbled.
The spider struck… no. Anath knew the truth. Lisa was like Daggat, in a sense. She pushed and prodded. Brawling Anath with words until she would put up a challenge. It was clear she just wanted the thrill of the fight, no matter the form.
But she was right. About everything. And that pissed Anath off.
ANATH struck with her spider legs. All four, spearing forward. Memories of brutality flooded back into her. It was she who shredded the zombies, not the spider. Who nearly killed Zuss, one of her dearest friends. Anath killed those boys.
She was the one who broke her mother.
Anath snapped out of her rage with a gasp. Lisa had jumped back. Her arms raised in a defensive posture. Glee evident on her face.
"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"
Four deadly blades hovered in the periphery. Anath seemed to see her spider legs for the first time. The almost smooth metallic chitin. Pitted by subtle marks, but still sharp as a razor. She wriggled her mandibles. It was as though parts of her had been returned. It felt right.
Maybe all it took was to admit it to herself. For somebody to finally say it directly. A direct attack on the fabrication that was "the spider". The final step. Or the first.
She snapped her attention back to Lisa. She didn't see a fearful, hateful gaze. That was Anath's fabrication. She saw a child excited for play. A puppy with razor teeth. An innocence that didn't know how reckless it was being.
Lisa was trying to be her friend in her own, selfish way.
Anath decided to let her live. For once, there was no spider to strike for her. She finally allowed herself to make the choice.
"Shut up." She said coldly. "I'm not a monster. That's the end of it."
Then, she turned and ran.
"Oh, come on!" Lisa called after her. "I was just having a bit of fun. Don't be so dramatic. Come back!"
Anath ignored her. She just needed to get away. To think and process.
After a while, she stopped and took a breath. How far she ran, she didn't know. But she could find her way back to the village for sure. At least, now, she was confident she could face it. She wasn't as scared. The apprehension was still there. The difference now was that she knew if Anath accidentally killed one of them, it would be her fault. Nobody else's. There was a certain liberation to that thought.
She laughed to herself as she sat on a fallen tree. Listening to herself was ridiculous. If she killed someone? Letting Lisa live? As if killing were easy and normal.
It was, now that she thought of it. Since she left the attic, her life has been nothing but killing. For survival, mostly. But… not always. They could have let the orcs go. Or walked away from the manor.
Maybe… maybe that was okay. When someone died, they got to try again, right? The orcs would come back as gremlins or larvae or something. Even the boys she killed. Even…
"ANATH!" Daggat called. His voice was amplified by his biotrait. She didn't want to deal with him right now. It was a bad time, right in the middle of her mental break. A bit rude, now that she thought of it.
Anath giggled at her joke and wiped snot from her face.
Stepping up to a tree, she moved her spider legs to climb it. It was awkward. When she used the spider before, it just sort of… did its thing. Now she had to manually control the legs. It was a bit like manually breathing.
Once she got into the rhythm, however, the climb came easily to her.
At the top, she settled into an Anath-sized nook in the branches. For a while, she just breathed and took in the view.
It was a bit past noon. A green tide of lesser treetops spread before her. She could even see glimpses of the human village.
Daggat continued to call. She would find him when she was ready. Anath closed her eyes, remembering someone.
She opened them again in the status void.
There, as though stuck to a wall, hovered the spider. It was silent. The assistant knew what Anath was going through. It knew everything she did.
"I'm… sorry." She said with a shaky voice.
"For what?" It said, skittering closer to her.
"For ignoring you. I… blamed you. For everything."
"I know. I know. But I can only help. Not hurt."
"Well… then can you help me? I have a biotrait and skill to spend."
The altar was somewhere at the back of her mind. But it felt important to spend the biotrait now, before she grew cowardly again.
The spider was silent for a moment, then practically vibrated with joy. It skittered back and forth, running circles around Anath. She laughed. How had she not noticed how cute it was before?
"Yes! Yes! Biotrait to help! Carapace armor? Upgrade the legs? Yes, yes, you can have two more. Or something new. Gills? Gills? You swimming soon?" It continued to rattle off ideas for biotraits. "Evolve, yes? Yes?"
Then everything crashed back down. The freedom she felt. Liberation from the spider. The boundaries she had broken through with rage and the sledgehammer that was Lisa. It seemed to leave in an instant. She suddenly felt small and alone.
Evolving. Becoming something other than human. That was too far. Another box she was hiding in. How many were there?
"No. No, I'm human." She told it. She had a taste of freedom from her own mental chains. Only a taste. The shame sickened her. Shame that she put those chains on herself.
The spider stopped moving.
"Anath. I am not THE spider. No, no. But I am Spider. And Spider is here to help. Maybe evolving will hurt more than help, yes? No?" It crawled onto her lap, despite having no substance. "Spider is sorry."
Had it named itself, or was that Anath's subconscious?
"Baby steps." She said. "One trait at a time. Okay?"
Together, they went through several options. Spider was careful not to suggest anything too inhuman. Her skill point could wait until she asked Daggat. He would be mad, and that could possibly soften the blow.
They settled on something defensive. Maybe it was a tad too different from other humans, if she learned anything from her friends, it was to push boundaries. Push until they broke, and then come back stronger if the boundaries broke you.
[You have selected Exoskeleton. Accept? Yes/no]
Anath
True Name: Anathema Soul: Monster/Mortal Genseed: Human [ 3 Str, 3 Dex, 3 Con, 3 Int, 3 Wil, 3 Cha; Standard Size]
Monster Level: 5 Berserker Level: 6 [+3 Str, Dex Con, -1 Int, Wil, Cha; Berserker's rage, Great Vitality]
Attributes [0/7]: Strength: 12 Dexterity: 11 Constitution: 13 Intelligence: 10 Will: 8 Charm: 7
Feats: Encounter: True Angel Knowledge: System Knowledge Act: Vile Concoction Act: Devotion [layered feats]
Skills(1/9): System Aptitude: 1 [Source: System Knowledge] System Assistant: 1 Skill Boosts: Survival (1) Savage Legs: 1 Berserker's Spirit: 1 [Synergy: Warrior's Spirit (Burst of Strength + Burst of Alacrity + Burst of Vitality) + Berserker's Rage] Purge Poison: 1 Great Vitality: 1 Blood Rhythm: 1
Notable Natural Skills: Survival: Apprentice Savagery: Apprentice
Biotraits [0/5]: Disease Resistance [Mutations: Rot Resistance; Source: Vile Concoction] Extra Limb (Arachnid), x4 [Source: Variant] Venomous Mandibles [Source: Variant] Multi-eye [Mutations: Magnified, Night Vision; Source: Variant] Hardened Chitin Exoskeleton
Transformations: Night Stalker form: +2 strength +2 dexterity Claws Dark Vision
Notable Gear: Blade of the Dessert Flower
Other: Variant: Arachnid Traits
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