Cæ found himself gazing into Serulia's intent eyes that bore into his with a deep affection, before shaking his head. She couldn't possibly convey her emotions for him more clearly and straightforwardly, and yet it was precisely because of how clear it was to Cæ that he understood what was happening.

"No."

His voice was heavy.

Her eyes widened as her expression grew hurt. "…What?"

"This isn't love, Serulia." Cæ's tone was calmer than he would have expected from himself in this situation. "This… this is attachment. You don't know who I am."

"That… that is not true!"

Cæ's expression grew heavier as his stormy, gray eyes bore deep into hers. "Tell me, what drives me in life?"

She gazed at him with a dumbfounded expression, stunned into silence.

"What has much of my life been like?" He asked another question.

"You were in the Colohen Slums up until the age of—"

"I'm not asking you to recollect what you have read of me in your intelligence reports," Cæ interrupted her. "I'm asking you what my experiences have been. I'm asking you what kind of person I truly am under the mask that we all wear before those who have yet to earn our highest trust. I'm asking what I've been through and what I intend to go through. What do you truly know about me as a person?"

Her expression loosened as her pupils dilated with dawning realization. Even as she gazed into his eyes, she came to understand that she didn't know anything about him. She didn't even know what he fought for. Why did he go through all the effort of creating businesses one after another? Why did he seem so intensely driven despite being guaranteed a prosperous life with his talent and potential?

She knew nothing about him.

Her head lowered as her hair covered her eyes, hiding the tears that welled up for reasons she didn't understand. She rarely cried, and yet, she found that she was unable to stop her stinging eyes from shedding them nonetheless.

Her throat choked with emotion as she remained silent, unable to trust herself to speak cogently in the unfamiliar state in which she found herself.

Cæ's expression softened with a rare hint of guilt emerging in his eyes. His hand reached out, gently patting her on her shoulder with a soft caress. "Serulia…"

His voice was unusually warm.

"We've known each other for less than a month," he continued, trying to coax her. "On top of that, you've just recovered from a rather traumatic event. You might seem calm, but just because you're calm and composed does not mean that the event has not affected you."

She heaved a deep, shaky breath as she lifted her head up, gazing into his eyes.

What he saw within them was a hint of relief.

Almost as if a weight of sorts had been taken off her shoulders.

"You are right," her tone was one of gratitude. "I… do not know who you are. I do not know what you have been through, nor do I know where you are going. I do not know anything important about you beyond impersonal third-party background checks. My feelings…"

Her tone hesitated. "They made me blind to the fact that we are strangers who recently met."

That was exactly what Cæ wanted to hear.

In truth, he didn't want to get closer to Serulia at all. In fact, he would rather she just move on, and then they simply maintain a cordial relationship as members of the same team. The entanglement with her family and the Miranda criminal trial was troubling in that regard, but the latter was unavoidable, and the former came with too many benefits.

However, he hoped that she would get a bit embarrassed by this situation and then just move on with her life.

He didn't want her to remember.

He didn't want her to remember the impossibility that she had seen.

Indeed, she had said that she would do anything for him, even lie, and he even believed her, but it wasn't enough. He would much rather she simply didn't remember to minimize risks.

This was his life that was at stake.

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Cæ nodded. "I'm glad you understand—"

"However," she interjected, gazing at his eyes with a determined expression. "Just because we are strangers, does not mean that we cannot change. If I learn more about you. About who you are. About what you have gone through and what you intend to go through. About the emotions that you hold within your heart and the drive that pushes you to do what you do. Then… would it not be love if I still feel this way?"

Cæ simply stared at her before closing his eyes. 'I might be doomed after all.'

He heaved a deep breath. "That is your choice, Serulia. However…"

His tone grew more serious, "…don't simply expect me to open my heart and pour out all my feelings in an interrogation or something. I don't do that. And if you expect me to, then I'm afraid you understand me even less than you might think you do."

"I do not intend to take such a crude approach," she huffed lightly, regaining her composure. "Rest assured that I will do it the proper way."

Cæ heaved a sigh, nodding his head.

"By shadowing and stalking you with my invisibility magic to learn everything there is to know about you. Indeed, in such moments, Father says that I should make the best use of my skills." She nodded with a 'just so' expression on her face.

Cæ simply stared at her in silence, closing his eyes. 'I'm definitely doomed. No question about it.'

"What is the matter, Cæ?"

"Please do not stalk me, Serulia. It's deeply inappropriate."

"…Fine."

He heard a little 'tsk' from her as she huffed, turning away.

Cæ heaved a sigh that was half-amusement, half-exhaustion, before gazing at the watch in his hands. "We should return. I'm not really in the mood for a banquet. I would like to sign the contract and then get back to the magicademy, I have a lot to do tomorrow."

She nodded. "I am sorry that I put all of this on you out of the blue just like that… I just… could not control myself."

"…We feel the way we feel and there's nothing we can do about it," Cæ remarked as his eyes grew hazy with thought.

He might as well have been talking about himself. Long after she was dead, he was still in love with Lilia. He saw her every night as if she were just alive, temporarily soothing a wound that never healed.

It was nothing short of an addiction.

Not to Lilia herself, but rather his experience of her, his memories of her.

The truth was that even if Serulia came to understand him to his very depths, he would likely be unable to reciprocate her love. Not as long as Lilia remained in his heart.

It was especially chilling when he knew exactly how… dark what he was doing was, but still made love with her in his dreams as if she was real. Something that was so ugly that even he felt a deep surge of shame well up within him whenever he woke up.

Perhaps his only consolation was that Lilia in his dreams would call him out for his behavior without any filter or care for how it made him feel. Blunt as always when it came to what she thought of others. It didn't stop him by any means, but the active confrontation made it feel not as bad about it as he should have.

And yet, it was the kiss with Serulia that made him realize just how empty all of it was.

It was not real intimacy.

It was an addiction.

An attachment to a specter of the past.

He was no better than Serulia, who mistook infatuation for love; he was, in fact, worse as far as he was concerned. At least, her feelings were fixed on someone who was alive and real.

It made him feel worse about himself.

The two of them returned to the luxury suite, where Serulia's father was, who frowned at the two of them returning just ten minutes after they left his room. "What is the matter? Why didn't you go to the banquet?"

Cæ shook his head. "I don't have time, sir. We… spoke a bit about some rather profound and important matters in relation to ourselves and relationships with each other, and, well, that has been exhausting. I have a lot of work, not just tomorrow, but also in the coming future, with not just being a target for assassination, but also dealing with the criminal trial and my research project that has now found an investor in you."

The head of the Vritra Clan gazed at Cæ with serious eyes before heaving a sigh. "You are correct. I have a demand for your time in an undue manner. You have my apologies. My men will transport you back to the magicademy along with Serulia with maximal protection so that your lives are secured against that psychopath of a woman. But before you go…"

He gestured to the contract.

Feel free to skim it over or have it screened by a lawyer, whatever you wish. I would like to finalize the agreement as soon as possible so that there is no ambiguity on it," he remarked. "Be sure to take a copy with you."

"Thank you, sir." Cæ accepted a file containing the agreement. "I will be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Well then…"

"It was good meeting you for a second time, Mr. Cæ." He nodded with a head of respect in his eyes. "I am happy that we have come to a verbal agreement on the matter, and I do look forward to seeing what you accomplish with your project. I will likely be departing from Elendir and returning to the Durmen Principality. I will have a trusted subordinate of mine liaise with you on the matter. Be sure to keep yourself available at all times. I do not like to be kept waiting."

His last words were domineering, but Cæ accepted them without fighting back. The simple fact of the matter was that the sheer gap in power between them meant that he could get away with treating Cæ patronizingly. Unless Cæ was willing to heavily lean on his testimony for the criminal trial and pointlessly anger the powerful man and master mage, it was simply best to accept the words and move on.

He bid the man farewell as he and Serulia were escorted by numerous guards back to the Elendir Institute of Magic. There was an air of silence between the Cæ and Serulia. Serulia didn't ask him for cute gestures like holding hands under the pretext of protecting her honor, although she did continuously steal glances at Cæ.

Cæ found himself growing more conscious of her for more than one reason now. She not only carried the secret of his ruination within her mind, but she also had developed an intense attachment to him. One that he didn't quite understand, but was cautious of.

An attachment was intense, but not necessarily durable. It was possible for that attachment to become a darker emotion, like obsession or even hatred, because he did not reciprocate her feelings.

That was the worst outcome as far as he was concerned. It would make the knowledge in her mind about his secret that much worse. Of course, he didn't think it was particularly likely for someone who had struck him as level-headed, barring the trauma from her near-death experience, to become that maniacal, but it didn't hurt to be careful.

He would have to navigate his relationship with her very carefully.

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