Act 47: Penultimate Preparations

--- Joshua Durand ---

He would like to say that upon opening his book on drawing that he found some kind of profound lesson that taught him all sorts of new things, inspired him to new artistic heights, or perhaps unlocked some hidden talent of the old boss that allowed him to draw things beyond the simple doodles he had thus far.

This would be complete bullshit that even he could not pass as a convincing lie however.

Instead he learned a bunch of random things about body proportions and circles that honestly did very little for him given how most cartoons didn't actually follow these rules instead going for style over classical proportions. Still… (I guess I've got to start somewhere…)

(Even if it's mostly just tracing other people's drawings?)

(Shut up.)

Scene Consequences

-Gained 2XP to Drawn To Life thanks to Library Book.

--Currently: Lv. 1 (3/4)

---

Given his pending performance, and all of his recent bouts of training -some of which was more substantial than others- Joshua decided that it was best to try to go on a walk and find some… inspiration for his next show. A search that eventually led him to one of the oldest centers of comedy, a gag shop full of sorts of comical devices and prank gifts. Or at least the gag section of a store containing a bit of this and that of every genre.

(Let's see… whoopie cushions, joy buzzers, both classics but no… fake shit, which never got why that's funny…)

(Actually, why are so many of these things about grossing people out? Where is the actual comedy? The subversion of expectation and piercing of mental preparations! Where is the set up? Where is the joke?!)

As a sophisticated and comically inclined cartoon he found himself taking some level of offense to these gross out gags that used immature humor for a cheap laugh.

He was about to turn away, ready to call this whole thing a bust when he noticed a box sitting atop several others, almost like a lost treasure held up upon a pedestal. A treasure that as he stared at it he realized was a classic amongst the gag arsenals of comedic clowns the world over. The kind of thing that anyone would recognize in its use.

(Now this is what I'm talking about!)

He lifted the box into the air taking in the form of a classic squirting flower, something that he could easily slip onto his coat without losing in style to his suit while also functioning as a quick distraction in close quarters.

"Yeah… I can work with this." He nodded with a grin, before looking around the store for any cameras and promptly stuffing the box into his hammer space so that he could sneak it out of the store without paying.

Because, you know, super villain.

---

Once a safe distance from the store, he withdrew his gag flower. Unpackaged it, threw the box away, paused, moved said box one bin over because the recycling bin was like right there and he was a villain not a monster, before finally holding up his prize and humming the sound effect from zelda… If slightly offkey.

With the gag retracted, he went ahead and did the first thing he did anytime he got an idea to add a cool thing to his kit. Namely Toonifying it and seeing what happened.

As the flower turned monochrome with a grey flower and black clip, he found the actual spray mechanism retracting into the flower proper, until he just had a little clip on he could attach to a pocket on his coat.

"Okay… now, how do I get you to spray?" He frowned, once the flower was in place over his heart. "Like do I just pinch the base and-" A jet of black ink shot out of the flower and onto the wall in front of him. "Huh, not water, but maybe more thematically appropriate all things considered… especially if I can…"

He shot off another spray of ink, feeling an ever so slight drain on his reserves, before trying to will the ink to do… anything related to his powers. Something he failed to do even after depleting a fair amount of his Ink Well to do it.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

"Alright… If I can't do it naturally…" He popped a vial of Malice, before shivering as that sweet sadistic symphony began singing. "Second verse, same as the first."

He popped his neck to either side before continuing to practice with his ink sprayer, only instead of trying to will the ink to act he instinctively reached out to the ink, trying to feel its presence, only to not feel it at all. (Meaning I don't have any connection to the ink beyond refilling the gag sprayer.)

(Disappointing, but not something we can't work around… especially since.) He aimed and fired off another burst of ink, knocking over and pushing a nearby trash bin. (It still packs a bit of a punch.)

Additionally, whether because of the ink actively flowing through the gag flower, the malice vial, or just from his continued experimentation with his powers he found that his Toonification of the flower was lasting a fair bit longer than it usually would. A pattern that held firm even when he began to experiment on Toonifying some other objects in the alley he was playing around in.

(Yeah, alright. I'm willing to call this one a win.)

Scene Consequences

-Thanks to Malice Vial gained additional perk progress, and retained training XP.

--New Perk: That's Not All Folks (II)- Increases Duration modifier to Level x3.

--Current Level: Toonification Lv. 5 (6/12)

--For maintaining Malice Chain, gained 1 Malicious Madness.

-Gained Ink Gag Flower.

--Ink Gag Flower: (Costs 1 Ink) As a quick action deal Stun damage and apply both Ink Stained and Blinded to a target in Melee range.

---

"So you think you can make this subtitle thing work?" He checked once more as Avery sat next to the projector above fiddling with it.

"Sí, porque preferiría no ser utilizado como conejillo de indias si puedo evitarlo." Said Cabaret Chef noted as she watched the Cabaret Manager with a wary eye.

"Yep, in a few moments… we will know exactly what that meant… I think." Avery assured them both as he began mess with several bits of Madness that he pulled out of a toolbox the Boss Dream had gotten from… somewhere. "Just uh, you might want to close your eyes for a moment boss?"

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-"

(Hundreds of hungering eyes watched him in amusement, their gaze waiting for the next joke to land so that they could let loose chuckles from their many mouths.)

"-yyyyy?" He blinked before looking around the Cabaret. "What… What was that?"

He felt like something very big just happened in a blink and you'll miss it kind of moment.

"That should've done it." Avery nodded, looking satisfied.

"No, seriously what the fuck was that?!" He asked the Dream, panicking eyes darting everywhere as he felt a certain… awareness that hadn't been there before. As if there was some kind of glass… wall in his head that he just tapped against.

Avery and Dulcinea shared a look. "Any idea what he's talking about."

"No." The candy skeleton answered with a shake of her head.

Avery looked around, his face scrunching up a bit. "I… I think it might need a bit more than that to uh, to trigger the thing. Since that word is kind of English and Spanish… I guess?"

"Bien, entonces…" Dulcinea coughed int oher h "¿Probando? ¿Probando? ¿Me entienden?"

"⸮em dnatsrednu owt uoy naC ?gnitseT ?gnitseT ...os ,thgiR"

They both blinked at the words floating awkwardly in the air off to the side of them all before slowly fading away.

"Um… what?" He frowned trying to parse the words.

"¿Eso fue al revés?" Dulcinea asked, sounding just as confused as he did when another line of text appeared.

"⸮sdrawkcab taht saW"

"I… I sort of…" He shook his head, his attempts to read the text giving him a headache. "Avery? Why are the subtitles coming in backwards?"

"Oh… Um… That's probably for the viewer's sake?" Avery shrugged, before frowning. "H… Hold on…"

"Wait, viewers?" He repeated in askance.

A question the Cabaret Manager didn't catch as he began to once more fiddle with something on the projector. "Try talking now?"

"Por favor, díganme que ustedes dos no arruinaron esto." Dulcinea sighed.

"Please tell me you two didn't screw this up."

"It's uh… It's still coming in backwards…" He called up.

"That's weird… the settings all look right…" Avery grumbled as he continued to mess with the projector.

"Look, um, that can wait for later… What did you mean a second ago about 'the viewers'?" He had to ask.

Avery looked down with a confused expression. "You know the viewers, the audience?"

"The audience?" He repeated turning towards where the subtitles kept appearing, a place where the Cabaret shadows formed an abyssal darkness, that only now did he realize was truly darker than black. So much so that it left him wondering, "Am I in a cartoon?"

The dark abyss was silent, even as he could feel eyes watching him now.

"Because that would be fucking awesome!"

He'd be so disappointed if he knew the truth.

Scene Consequences

-Joshua now has translation subtitles when listening to people speak different languages.

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