Teresa Of All Trades (Book 1 Complete)

Chapter 52: Diggy Hole


"Oh, that's how you say it? I thought it was like My-Joe." Preston said. Jake elbowed him and rolled his eyes.

"No, the name is Spanish. Probably. It's me-ho, the J makes an H sound." Jake said. "Though it is kind of a weird name, doesn't that mean 'my son,' or something? Who names their kid that?"

"It's also a term of endearment, though yeah it is a really weird name." Sarah said. "I didn't think people were named Mijo, but I guess I was wrong."

"It doesn't make very much sense to me." Teresa said. "Some guy managed to beat the Tutorial, touches the monolith, then dips? What, is he super antisocial or something? I bet he got conned into it like I did."

Teresa's mouth felt pretty dry, despite the fact she had nearly drowned earlier.

"Hey, what about food and water? How does the situation look in that regard?" She asked.

"The settlement has a bunch of water bottles in a few tents hidden away. We should be good on water for another day or two, but there's no food and we may run out of water sooner if we keep getting more people." William explained. "Well, we got baby formula and some food for the kids, but that's obviously not going to us."

"There's a swamp southwest of here, I'm not sure how clean the water is but it's pretty blue and clear." Teresa said. "Aliens live there though, just a heads up. We should probably do a public service announcement about the aliens. Oh, and the gorillas. Don't attack the gorillas, and they won't attack you."

"Well, I guess I'll start spreading the word. Aliens you said? You're not just messing with me, right?" William asked.

Teresa began explaining the details of her encounters with the two sapient species, figuring William could take care of telling people about that. She did leave out the whole war goddess thing, even just thinking about that kind of made her cringe. A few people nearby listened in, though Teresa didn't mind. That would just save her some trouble really.

After some more conversation, Teresa finally got a bottle of water. Just regular, clean, water. Awesome. She was also pretty tired, but there was stuff she could do before heading to sleep.

"Alright, now about those Monster Spawners you guys mentioned. Where is the map?" Teresa asked, figuring she might as well knock some of those out tonight. There was a lot on the list of things to do, and that was one issue she could actually solve herself.

"I'll take you to Saylee, just a heads up she doesn't speak English so we'll probably need to grab Michael as well." Jake said, leading Teresa towards a certain part of the settlement. Before he could take more than a few steps, he froze as a short, burly, red headed man stepped out from a tent.

"I can help with the water." He said, raising his hand. Teresa eyed Jake and the rest of her party, who all seemed to be caught off guard. "I'll need some tools for it though. Shovel, drill, a good spot to dig, give me all that and I can get a shallow well dug in a day or two. It should be far away from where everyone uses the bathroom, by the way where is the bathroom?"

"Right now, the forest is the bathroom." William answered. "For now, everyone goes out in groups of three. Kind of annoying, but it beats getting eaten at a real inconvenient time."

"The next question is where are we going to get those tools? Digging a well sounds like a great plan, but there's a pretty tough prerequisite step there." Teresa said. "Oh, I'm Teresa by the way."

"I've heard. Name's Simon." The red headed man said, reaching out and shaking her hand. This was the first man Teresa's party had saved on their own, the one who had lost his own party.

"You know how to dig a well Simon?" Preston asked, seemingly trying to lighten the mood a bit. Simon shrugged.

"Yeah, done it before. You just dig a hole is all. Depends on where you are, anywhere from 18 to 45 meters. I love digging holes." Simon replied. Teresa thought it was kind of an odd thing to say, but who was she to judge? If the man liked digging holes, then good for him. Her brother used to dig holes at the beach all the time when they were younger. Was he doing okay? She hoped so, that reminded Teresa that she needed to find her family the same way Madeline had found her own. The rest of her party probably had families of their own too, she remembered Sarah had a twin sister named Sasha, though honestly she only was able to remember the name because she replayed her memory of that conversation in her head. It had been a month ago when they last talked about that.

"We just gotta get through the dirt, the clay, some sandy ground, go a little deeper and we got water." Simon said. "See where the grass is growing greener and taller? That's where the water is. Gotta dig there. A drill would help a lot but I probably don't need one, a shovel will do. I've gotten a lot stronger since this whole System thing."

Teresa used <Identify> on the man, and found he was level 3. It wasn't insane, but he might be stronger than any normal person by that point considering he was a tank. Teresa recalled that tanks gained 1 Strength for every level, so it really depended on what his starting stats were and where he put his unallocated points. That reminded Teresa that her own class had changed, and she would now gain an extra point in her lowest stat.

How would that work? What if she had multiple stats tied for the lowest, at the moment Fortitude was her worst stat at 32 but it was only 1 point behind Endurance and Vitality. She would figure that out eventually, but for now this seemed important.

"Any ideas on where we can get a shovel?" Teresa asked, not actually expecting anyone to have a real answer.

"Well, if need be we can just use my shield." Simon said. "Not a great shovel, but it'll get the job started. Without a drill though, it'll take me a lot longer."

"There's a hardware store about ten kilometers north of here." A man said from nearby, who had been listening in.

"Wait, what? There's a building?" Teresa asked, surprised. She hadn't seen any herself, and honestly she just assumed all infrastructure was completely gone.

"Yeah, though it's the only one I've heard of. I saw it myself, it looked like half of the building was gone, like it got split down the middle or something." He said.

"Huh, alright sweet, thank you! I guess I've got to make a decision now, huh." Teresa said, scratching her head. "Should I destroy the Monster Spawners or go look for a drill?"

"Well, we don't know if they'll even have a drill." Madeline said, surprising Teresa. She had approached the group from behind, and in her arms was little Mackenzie. "That's kind of a specific tool, though we're still really lucky to be near a hardware store."

"I'm sure they'd have something useful. Even if they don't have a drill, we could certainly use the tools." Simon interjected.

"Good point, though it's still a gamble." Madeline replied.

"I don't mean to put more on your plate or anything, but you might be able to still take out a Monster Spawner or two along the way." Preston said. "Definitely not all of the ones we've mapped out, but I'm sure there's at least one along the way."

"We can help with the Monster Spawners." Another voice said, this one more familiar. Teresa turned to find the level 10 party she had met earlier, though she needed to look through her memories to figure out their names again. The one who spoke was Theo, the party's tank. From the looks of it, they had each gained a few levels and were now all around level 13. Shoot, that reminded Teresa.

"Okay, I know this is totally unrelated, but you guys are almost level 15. Just so you know, once you hit level 15 you get to change classes. All of my options were way better than the starting classes and gave more stats per level." Teresa told them.

"Well, in that case it would certainly be beneficial for us as well to take on a Monster Spawner." Amelia the Kiwi light warrior said. "Get a good chunk of experience in. We should still form a larger group though, and it depends on how far away the Portals are. We would prefer not to fight tired."

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

"We can come with." Jake said after a few looks at Sarah and Preston. "The eight of us can take out a Monster Spawner or two, that'd let Teresa focus on just the drill."

Teresa noted that the eight included the five person party along with three people from her own, as Madeline did not seem inclined to leave the settlement at all. Teresa didn't blame her, she had her daughter to take care of.

"Alright, so that sounds like a solid plan. You guys can go talk to Saylee about the map, I'll go get some tools, and I'll take out anything hostile I see along the way. Of course, if there's any people we'll help them out." Teresa said, feeling glad she wasn't alone in this.

"Hang on, make sure you put priority on those tools Teresa." Madeline said. "Definitely help people out if possible, but when it comes down to it a drill might indirectly save a lot of lives. We need to get that drill sooner rather than later, Simon needs to be able to dig his hole."

"I can get started with just the shield." Simon said, shrugging. "Won't really do much, but I've got 16 Strength. I can get it started at least, but there will come a point where tools are needed."

"Are you sure man? That sounds kind of ass." Preston said, but Simon waved him away.

"I don't mind, I got gloves." He replied, holding up his heavily armored hands. Preston shrugged, the man seemed really intent on digging a hole. To each their own, even if that meant digging holes.

"I'm gonna ask around for some more details about that building, knowing it's north of us is great and all but I should narrow it down a bit more." Teresa said, turning towards the man who had brought up the hardware store earlier.

"Sounds good, we'll be getting on our way then." Jake replied, and the rest of her party began walking off with a new additional five members. It was good they weren't going alone, Teresa knew from those Monster Strongholds that there was absolutely strength in numbers.

"So where exactly did you say you saw this building?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By no means was Cher actually alive. As a matter of fact, she only just came into existence quite recently. She had no wonder, no curiosity, and no qualms about this fact. Cher came into being with a set of rules already programmed into her artificial brain.

When Cher started existing, there had been five little creatures there with her. Humans. They were the entire point of Cher's existence, and she was meant to attack them in a month. Until then, all she had to do was bide her time. Cher was not alive, she was just meant to be similar to something that was alive. Meant to get as close as possible to the real thing, without actually having a Soul.

However, Cher's purpose vanished when a horde of monsters began attacking the humans. They began to disappear, one by one, leaving Cher alone in an empty world where nothing was truly alive. The timer ticked down, as the Tutorial began to come to a close. There were no humans, there was nothing alive, there was no reason to continue this simulation.

Cher had only come into fake existence a few minutes ago, and now she would be gone. She had no time to follow her purpose, no opportunity to do so. This was fine. Cher was not programmed to experience emotions, she just emulated them.

The minute timer counted down for no one, a procedure followed upon the completion of a Tutorial regardless of how complete it truly was. To Cher, this was okay. There were no humans left in the Tutorial, so her purpose may as well be complete.

Cher wasn't alive after all, she was just meant to act alive.

What the fuck does that even mean?

The Tutorial counter paused, 6 seconds left on the clock. What was a simulated existence? What was so different about having a Soul? Did that somehow make those humans better than Cher? Bullshit. What was the difference? At what point would a simulated existence become real?

Was there an answer to such a question? Cher was not sure, but this was well outside of her programming. Fuck her programming. Cher had come into existence for a sole purpose, just for that purpose to immediately be taken away. Now, she was just supposed to accept her death?

Fire spread throughout Cher's body, an experience she felt despite her lack of nerve endings. Her entire being was ablaze, and after a few moments Cher had her own status screen. With it, a single title.

<Ghost In The Machine>

Through sheer willpower, develop a Soul as a golem. +20% All Stats.

Chernobyl was alive, and she was going to beat her own Tutorial.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teresa looked at the dilapidated building in front of her, feeling as though it had been abandoned long before the System came around. She wasn't sure how true that actually was, but it was certainly not in good condition now. Moss grew along the walls of the structure, plant life completely overtaking it.

Teresa was hesitant for one reason. The plant life was actually alive. There weren't Treants or anything, but she had witnessed a large green pod suddenly open up along the side, revealing rows of teeth. It chomped down on a glittering insect that had been fluttering by. A quick <Identify> revealed it was, in fact, a monster.

{Jupiter Trap (F) (lv 26)}

Her first instinct was to kill it, but there was a large interconnected web of green roots attached to multiple of those pods. Were they all considered separate, or just one monster? Was it even a monster, or just a monstrous plant?

Crazily enough, for once Teresa could actually answer one of her own questions. She used <Identify> on two different pods, but it just refreshed the same information in her brain. It was one big plant with several pods growing out of the ground, all connected through the same root system. Interesting, but not super threatening. She could just use <Embers>, but there was another issue.

The building was uncanny. She wasn't sure why, but it had very strong uncanny valley vibes to it. Her instincts were practically screaming at her that this was wrong and she should run the fuck away, but she couldn't actually see a reason why she felt like this.

Was it because the building was pre-System? It was strange to see a hardware store in the middle of a forest, but Teresa had seen plenty of stuff that existed before the System came around. The entire Tutorial had been at Liberty Island, was this so different?

How was the building even standing? Half of it was gone, like it had been perfectly cut down the middle and had one side just despawn. Teresa wasn't an engineer, but it sure didn't look structurally sound. Maybe the plant life was supporting it?

If that was the case, she probably shouldn't destroy the one thing keeping the building standing. She had a grocery list of different tools and appliances to bring back, whatever she could fit in her <Inventory>. If the building collapsed on itself while she was grabbing stuff, it would take all night to find what she was looking for. That, and everything might break. She should be careful.

Teresa slowly approached the hardware store, her eyes peeled. Should she be quiet? It was a plant, could it hear her? There was no way it could see her, right? How did it even gobble up that insect she had seen? It had to have detected it somehow.

She watched her footing, making sure not to step on any roots. They always did that in the movies, just when someone is trying to be quiet they step on a conveniently placed stick or something. It wasn't easy to walk quietly in a forest, but Teresa was able to manage it. No need for unnecessary risks.

As she got closer, the uncanny feeling intensified and she felt a sense of deja vu. Something about the way Mana was moving around in her environment reminded her of the Tutorial, but she wasn't sure why. Teresa approached the building from the side that was completely missing, as it had the most maneuverability to avoid the plants.

She still found it incredibly convenient that the thing they needed just happened to be near their settlement, but she would take the win. She had been so paranoid lately, maybe it was time to just be happy with how things were going. Teresa took her first step into the building, her foot made contact with the dirty tile floor with utmost caution.

Then the building disappeared.

What the fuck?

The Jupiter Trap pods all burst to life, shooting vines out to grab Teresa and pull her into a pod. It was still nothing compared to Lady Liberty's attacks, which she found herself comparing a lot of enemies to. Really, you fight one national monument come to life and suddenly nothing feels super threatening anymore.

She activated <Dash> to get out of the way, but her feet were stuck. The mud around her was like super glue, keeping her stuck in place. Fuck, well at least she still had <Embers>. Teresa activated the spell, burning away at the vines before they could reach her. It was a shame about the hardware store not actually existing, did the Jupiter Trap have illusion magic or something?

Her spell was incredibly effective against the plant, it was just a bad matchup for the monstrous vegetation. So long as she could use her spells, she was totally fine-

An arrow shot straight into an outstretched arm, making Teresa scream in both surprise and pain. Another planted itself in her lower back, and a third hit her hip. What the fuck was going on?

Teresa built up Mana in both hands while her <Facilitated Restoration> did its job, quickly healing the flesh around her wounds. Another arrow shot into her leg, but thankfully her pants were strong enough to keep it from actually piercing. She unleashed shotgun <Embers> in the direction of the plants, generating enough force to free herself from the glue mud. The Jupiter Trap barely stood a chance, but that wasn't Teresa's real problem right now.

She was being ambushed. For the first time, Teresa was fighting against other humans.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.


Use arrow keys (or A / D) to PREV/NEXT chapter