Idiot’s Paradox: A LitRPG Apocalyptic Adventure [Book 1 Complete]

B3 - Chapter Two: A Shrewd Idiot


After he'd completed his Build an Empire Quest in New York, Logan had rushed back to the cabin, assigned his Idiot's Vassal title to Lara, set up the array, and then promptly scarfed down the ribs he'd grabbed in New York, chugging down his long sought, precious beer, before he'd promptly conked out.

Who knew that despite having [Undead Stamina], running around non-stop for over 24 hours would take him down for the count? Regardless, Logan felt refreshed, energized, and ready to tackle whatever came at him.

Preparation was key. He needed to take advantage of his new [Dominion Building] options and then work on his number one priority.

Leveling up.

Logan could spend time helping Lara search through the books he'd obtained in New York, but by his calculations, he had less than four days before the System would suck him into Pied's Integration Tournament. Logan hadn't forgotten that the System ranked him number two, not number one.

Back in the trial dungeon, [Foresight] had shown him a vision of the Man in Black using his black leaching skill to kill thousands of people. The man had appeared skinny, weak like Matt, but who's to say that he didn't have advantages like Mia or the Rattuspede? The Rattuspede had repelled Logan's strongest skills, sending a rebound effect at Logan that had acted like an attack on its own.

On top of that, according to Pied, this was an Integration Tournament pitting world against world. That could mean anything. Users who were way overpowered than humanity; users with alien-like characteristics that gave them an advantage. The possibilities were too endless to count.

Logan needed to get strong. And quickly.

The first step had to be his stat sheet.

Name: Logan Hart [Hidden Name: Idiot]

Rank: 2 out of 5,700,989,010

Level: 186

Class: [Epic] Fabled Creation

Grade: E8

Species: Human

Skills:

Idiot's Paradox Lv. 32

Idiot's Inspect Lv. 10

Deepwater Explorer Lv. 3

Regenerate Lv. 18

Mimicry Armour Lv. 5

Undead Stamina

Foresight

Dominion Building

Liche Devourer Lv. 1

Life Fabricator Lv. 3

Threshold Shift

Titles: Eager Beaver; Mass Murderer; Audacious Corpse; Run Until You Drop; Malicious Meat Sack; Forerunner

XP Progress: 123,000/372,000

Karma: 3,888/3,888

Intelligence: 648

Constitution: 169

Strength: 365

Agility: 381

Dexterity: 302

Endurance: 683

Perception: 141

Wisdom: 587

Luck: 120

Free Attribute Points: 0

Private Market Access Points: 10

Lordship Status: Community

KarmaCoin: 4,001,300

At this point, he wished he had an instruction manual from the System that gave him leveling up strategies. Logan knew that his physical stats were high compared to most users due to his stealth player status, but how high? To that matter, what would the stats of the high rank users on the other worlds look like? Although he'd made improvements to his constitution stat, it was beyond annoying to keep having to prioritize it to protect against mental attacks when [Regenerate] took care of everything else. Perception was also his lowest stat, which wasn't ideal when Logan was trying to protect himself against hidden attacks.

But at the same time, in an ideal world, a world in which he could forget about his perception and constitution attributes, he would prioritize strength and wisdom. Wisdom impacted his Karma regeneration rate, which was important for [Life Fabricator] and [Mimicry Armour]. Increasing his strength attribute would allow him to continue to prioritize physical attacks and overwhelm everyone around him. Strength would be important to get a leg up on pure Karma based users, people like the Man in Black.

But first thing's first. Logan broke into a slight jog and then left Jack's property behind, moving to his beaten-up cabin. Although people were outside and nodded when Logan passed, Logan's cabin looked deserted. More than likely, no one had wanted to brave the soggy, drug saturated ruined interior.

The leaves of the willow tree rustled in the wind, the trunk fat, swelling to the size of a house. Logan couldn't be certain, but it looked bigger than the last time he was here, its limbs drooping into the shoreline under their sheer weight. More than even his monster carbon trees, there was something hair on your neck raising about this thing.

Well, then again, anything the System created was creepy.

Logan rested his hand against the lodestone. There was a sensation of cold, as if he'd touched bare ice, before his vision lit up with text.

[Welcome, Idiot! Entering the Karma Lodestone Menu.]

[What would you like to buy?]

As expected, just like last time.

"Show me all the options."

[Would you like to view F grade or E grade options?]

That's right. Now that he'd advanced to E grade, there should be additional items. The Tree Fridge leveled as he leveled. Logan was already on the cusp of D grade, which meant he'd have access to even more options soon.

Logan held his breath. This better be good shit. He hadn't forgotten that there was a catch 22 with this Tree Fridge. Although the green beans had appeared to be a godsend at first, left to their own devices, they could have smothered the planet. Not to mention that his Cursed Rope, while valuable after he'd gotten a handle on it, had influenced his emotions and caused him to almost lose the plot.

He couldn't take anything at face value.

"Show me the F Grade options first."

[…. Conditions met.]

[F GRADE FOOD MENU:

1 dandelion seed: 50 KarmaCoin

5 spinach seeds: 500 KarmaCoin

5 potato spuds: 1000 KarmaCoin

F GRADE WEAPON MENU:

1 paperclip: 400 KarmaCoin

1 ballpoint pen: 800 KarmaCoin

F GRADE CLOTHING MENU:

1 knit cap: 500 KarmaCoin

1 pair of self-cleaning swim trunks: 1000 KarmaCoin]

Once you bought an item it disappeared from the menu, since the Pink Sock, spatial storage cat collar, green beans and the length of rope were missing from the screen.

Wait a minute.

Logan could have sworn that he could buy a 'large fork' last time, listed right next to the ballpoint pen. There was no way it would disappear. Unless….

Matt. That little bugger.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Matt had stolen his Pink Sock from his Tree Fridge; had he bought the fork as well? And yet, when Logan had looted his body, he hadn't found anything other than…

Huh.

That shard of metal.

With a blink, Logan removed it from his spatial storage collar.

At first, he'd assumed it was shrapnel. Regular shrapnel. The metal was thin and about ten inches long, the width the size of a large kitchen knife. It was sharp on all edges, but on one end, it was jagged, with rough ridges. Logan squinted. If this were the fork, it was the wackiest fork he'd ever seen.

Holding it in his hand, Logan deployed [Idiot's Paradox]:

[Fork of Agony. C Grade. This fork is made from Lithuate Meteorite Metal. Sourced deep from the chasm of a meteorite belt orbiting around the Lithuate Galaxy, its edges can cut any material known to the System. It subjects users to unmanageable agony.]

That little fucker. So, Matt had stolen the fork as well. Let that be a lesson to Logan. This Tree Fridge was tricky as hell. What appeared useless at first glance could turn into an item that kingdoms would wage war over. After all, it was Asthea who had taught him the value of his S grade spatial storage collar.

If he were smart about this, he'd buy as much as he could.

Logan studied the KarmaCoin prices with a sense of nostalgia. Back when the Integration started, 1000 KarmaCoin had seemed like a fortune. Now, it was barely a drop in the bucket. If he needed to, he could buy the contents of the entire F grade menu at once.

Then again, did he want to buy more seeds and spuds which had the potential to sabotage the world? Logan wasn't low on food. He could grow what he wanted with [Life Fabricator].

For now, he disregarded the food options.

His eyes lingered on the 'weapons,' especially the paperclip, but then he decided to wait. He was going to buy them, that was a given, but first, he needed to view what was available in the E grade menu.

"Show me the E grade options."

[…. Conditions met.]

[E GRADE FOOD MENU:

1 bunch of herbs: 100,000 KarmaCoin

1 can of cat food: 200,000 KarmaCoin

1 rack of ribs (of indeterminate source): 1,000,000 KarmaCoin

1 can of beer: 2,000,000 KarmaCoin

E GRADE WEAPON MENU:

1 chunk of metal: 100,000 KarmaCoin

1 toenail clippers: 200,000 KarmaCoin

1 dagger: 1,000,000 KarmaCoin

1 curse: 2,000,000 KarmaCoin

E GRADE CLOTHING MENU:

1 enhanced pair of self-cleaning swim trunks: 100,000 KarmaCoin

1 bonded companion hat: 200,000 KarmaCoin

1 form fitting suit: 1,000,000 KarmaCoin

1 waterproof wetsuit: 2,000,000 KarmaCoin

*unlock further options at higher grades]

Logan's excitement transformed into rage as he studied the E grade options. A can of beer for 1 million KarmaCoin?! A rack of ribs? Logan glanced up at the sky and glared. Although the System's messages were no longer snarky, he had to wonder if the glitchy AI minion was lurking within the AI, laughing at him. The System had been monitoring him, paying special attention to his cravings and then mocking him by offering them at an astronomical price.

Logan growled and then paced before taking a deep, steadying breath. This was nothing new. Hadn't the True Fridge menu options mocked him when he'd first seen the menu? And even with that, he'd managed to obtain an S grade spatial collar and the Cursed Rope.

Besides, if he looked past the food options, there were possibilities. It was like the lottery though. One luck of the draw would give him good shit, and the other would result in a curse or a world-ending item. But come on! Toenail clippers?! And yet, for all he knew, it could be an S grade weapon of infinite value.

The dagger was odd though. Why offer a regular dagger that cost 1 million KarmaCoin? Not to mention the 'Curse.' Just looking at it and thinking of the possibilities gave him the creeps.

As for the clothing options, Logan wasn't excited about the swim trunks. It was just an enhanced version of the item available in the F grade menu. 'Enhanced' – whatever that meant.

Oh well. If he bought it, it didn't mean he had to use it. The other items were way too expensive. And yet… his eyes drifted to the bonded companion hat. Logan worried the inside of his cheek with his tongue. At only 200,000 KarmaCoin, it was a distinct possibility.

With these horrendous prices, he would need to prioritize what he wanted the most. The F grade items were so cheap that it would make sense to buy them in one swoop, but he couldn't afford to buy everything in the E grade menu.

In addition, he hadn't explored [Dominion Building] yet. According to the System, the skill gave him access to System markets on other worlds. There could be something there that was more valuable than the items in his Tree Fridge.

With a blink, he toggled through until he activated the options within [Dominion Building]. With the enhancement of the skill, he no longer had to be close to a lodestone to access his private market.

He'd already discovered that the skill gave him better control of his private market than before. Now, he had the ability to remove an item if he decided that he no longer wished to sell it, or if it wasn't selling at all. And the most valuable upgrade was control of the loan system. Logan no longer had to worry about killing people if they bought food on loan. [Dominion Building] allowed Logan to restrict buying items on loan for only specific items.

[Please select from the following actions:

Add or remove items.

Designate or change Idiot's Vassal title users.

Adjust loan and pricing options.

Access System markets.]

Logan mentally hovered over the fourth option and then gasped as text rolled in like the tide.

[Please select which market you would like to access.]

[Abrali Clan

Assuaga

Azticitzli

Bedrock

….

….

….]

Logan kept scrolling, scrolling and scrolling. There were so many options he couldn't count them all. Yikes, why couldn't the System create just one market consistent between every world?

[Each planet has unique characteristics which make universal System markets unviable.]

Logan froze and then disregarded the response like brushing away a fly. He was no longer shocked when the System communicated directly, but he'd thought it had stopped with the death of the glitchy AI minion. By now, Logan had given up on beating the System. While a lofty goal, the AI was all-powerful. That's not to say that he hadn't given up on beating the civilization who had created it in the first place. But how could you fight something that could read your mind at the drop of a hat?

Logan hunched his shoulders and then scrolled through the options, selecting a name that looked more linguistically similar to Earth. He was betting the System had translated these names into English; otherwise, they would have been incomprehensible.

One after another, options popped up. Similar to the Tree Fridge, the System had put them in categories: food, weapons, clothing. However, unlike the Tree Fridge, there was something else.

Defense.

His heart racing, Logan mentally hovered over that option.

[DEFENSIVE MENU:]

[Compact Defensive Array – F Grade. Protect a small area. This array protects everyone inside the perimeter against entities F Grade and below. Cost: 2,500,000 KarmaCoin.]

[Medium Defensive Array – F Grade. Protect a small dwelling or cave. This array protects everyone inside the perimeter against entities F Grade and below. Cost: 5,000,000 KarmaCoin.]

[Large Defensive Array – E Grade. Protect multiple dwellings in one area. This array protects everyone inside the perimeter against entities E Grade and below. Cost: 10,000,000 Karma Coin.]

[Community Defensive Array – E Grade. Protect a one-mile area. This array protects everyone inside the perimeter against entities E Grade and below. Cost: 50,000,000 KarmaCoin.]

Logan stared, blinking, and then stared more, waiting for what he was reading to make sense. 50 million KarmaCoin?! Holy crap! Pied's array had been D grade. What the hell would that have cost? He only had 4 million KarmaCoin, and that wasn't accounting for everything else he wanted to buy.

Crap.

Okay, okay. It was an achievable goal. He was earning 400,000 KarmaCoin with each monster carbon tree. By his calculations, that meant he would need to grow 125 trees. Not an impossible task. And even better, knowing that he could buy an array that would cover one mile made protecting the shoreline much easier.

Logan ran a hand through his hair and wiped sweat away from his forehead as he paced, his mind going in a million directions at once. There was money to be made here. Not now, but in the future. He was the only one who could buy items from the System Market and then put that same item up for sale in his private market, making it available to anyone who had access to a lodestone.

There had to be a ton of people out there who wanted to protect their loved ones. Hell, protect themselves. All he had to do was buy the Compact Defensive Array at 2.5 million KarmaCoin and then put it up for sale in his private market for 3 million. One to start, to see if it worked, since there couldn't be many people with KarmaCoin that high. But as the weeks passed, people would figure it out. Humanity was an enterprising species. Logan knew that better than anyone.

But for now, that strategy would have to wait until he raised more KarmaCoin.

Logan closed the defensive option menu, then toggled through to the food. It… was nothing he recognized.

[FOOD MENU:]

[20 blooming spines. Cost: 100 KarmaCoin.]

[10 hobligant. Cost: 300 KarmaCoin.]

[5 elphantiy root. Cost: 500 KarmaCoin.]

The hell? Shit. Logan supposed to the species who used this System Market, the food would make sense. But to an outsider, it could just as easily be toxic to humans. Heck, if you put apples up for sale, it would make sense to a human, but not to someone who hadn't seen an apple before.

Logan closed out the System Market and chose another world's, navigating to the food options, but it was the same problem as the last.

So. Food was out.

Shit.

Logan picked another System Market and then navigated to the weapons. Although his sword had been an excellent weapon and he knew it must be System sourced, there was nothing magical about it. It didn't award him with extra attributes just by holding it or boost his confidence. It wasn't alive. Not like the Cursed Rope which had the ability to level up as Logan leveled up. Did the System Market allow you to buy enhanced weapons?

[WEAPON MENU:]

[Regular Metal Pole – F Grade. Cost: 500 KarmaCoin.]

[Utility sword – F Grade. Cost: 2,000 KarmaCoin.]

[Leather Whip – F Grade. Cost: 2,000 KarmaCoin.]

[Large Axe – F Grade. Cost: 2,500 Karma Coin.]

Logan stared at the items, his shoulders drooping. Well, if everyone could obtain a mythical sword from a System shop, they wouldn't be rare. He was starting to suspect that the System gave out the rare items as rewards for completing quests, or by things… like his Tree Fridge.

Still, there was money to be made here.

Logan did the mental math, running the numbers through his head, a trickling of an idea filling him with excitement. Although the items in the weapon shop wouldn't benefit him personally from a combat standpoint, they could benefit him financially.

[Please confirm your purchase of [50 Utility Swords], [20 Large Axes], [100 Regular Metal Poles], and [20 leather whips] at a cost of 240,00 KarmaCoin plus a 10% processing fee?]

[Yes.]

[No.]

Logan mentally confirmed his selection.

[….Confirmed. Enjoy, Idiot.]

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