I had some time before my training with Vivian, so I went back to Dragon Tower by myself. It wasn't a ton of time, but it was enough that I didn't want to get busy and lose track of where I needed to be.

However that left me with all the time to think about what I'd just seen.

I hated what Russel's duel revealed. I couldn't even keep up with the fight, and it wasn't even a serious one. It was more flirting than fighting. And I was left in the dust.

How was I going to catch up in time?

Could I?

I was starting from so far behind and unable to sprint. What chance did I have?

I couldn't think like this. I knew I shouldn't. It was just going to make me feel worse. I didn't have time for feeling bad about myself. That clock was ticking down and I couldn't know for sure how much longer I really had.

I needed to focus on what I could do now.

Come on Serafina, get it together.

I took several deep breaths and after a few moments to gather my thoughts and feelings I left Dragon Tower.

I could do nothing about the past, even less about the future. So, I was going to take control of the present.

(*********)

We were back to the clearing in the woods. Our usual haunt for these things. It was nice to be back in a familiar place with the stress still bubbling in my chest like magma.

"Lucinda mentioned something to me, is it true you can feel the flow of mana in your body at all times?" Vivian said. There was no setup for any kind of specific training. No pile of sticks or other target for to aim at.

"I do. Is that strange?"

"Extraordinarily rare, would be more accurate. Too early to tell if it's going to permanent. Likely a side affect of your body being used to no flow at all."

"Mom said the same thing."

Vivian smiled slightly at that. "She was always smart. Studying Magic is more of Ruby's thing, but Lucinda paid attention."

"What does…" I didn't know if calling her aunt was appropriate, but Jarec called my mother aunt so it was fair game. "Aunt Ruby research?"

"Magic and the role it plays inside the body. She wanted to know how someone like her happens. I don't know the exact reasons myself, but I'm grateful that she came into our lives."

I didn't know Ruby that well, but I was glad to have met Jarec. "Sensing my own mana is rare, but it's not concerning or unique to my situation?"

"It's not unique to the curse, according to Ruby it's something that happens to one in one hundred thousand people. She hasn't found any correlation between difficulties casting and the sensation. She mention something about sensitivity once. What that means for you is anyone's guess."

That was something. A not helpful something. But something. "So what's the plan for today?"

"You want to train in healing?"

"Self-healing. So I can manage some of my…symptoms better."

"Hopefully you won't be suffering from them forever."

"That's the hope." I didn't want to tip her off that I might be stuck with these for the rest of my life. Or what I really wanted the healing spells for.

"You can move the energy through your body at will?"

"I can."

"Hmm. That's usually the hard part for people. Focusing energy in one spot. You're going to have to learn how to do this backwards. Making that energy do what you want is what we need to focus on."

"Okay. Sounds like a plan."

How were we going to practice this? There was no way she was going to have me cut myself somewhere to heal.

"Self-healing however, is easier than most. Your energy will want to heal. The truly hard part will be keeping it from leaving your body in the form of a spell."

"It's basically just helping my body do what it wants to do naturally." Like drinking orange juice when you're sick.

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"Precisely. You may lack the practice, but you do understand what all of this is about."

I needed the practice though. Desperately. No amount of theory was going to save me during the wraith attack.

"How do I practice?"

"Here," Vivian reached into her pocket and pulled out a branch with a few green leaves on it. She held it up for me to take.

"What is this for?" I asked as I took it and held it up. It was a holly branch. No sign of flowers or berries.

"I want you to channel energy towards it. Through your right hand, I've been told going through your curse mark causes problems."

She had no idea the full scope of problems this curse has caused me. She probably would never truly know. No one but me would. I wondered if even Merripen knew the full list of ways this had hurt me.

If I ever met him, I would have to tell him.

That 'if' seemed very shaky right now. A vague possibility that was snatched away before it even had a chance to happen.

I would never be able to confront the person responsible for all of this. Once, I thought that was for the best. But now knowing it wasn't my choice made me want to puke. I didn't want to meet Merripen, I wanted to choose if I did or not.

I was probably going to be dead before ever getting a chance.

If I didn't have the curse, I might not need all this extra training. I would be able to defend myself against one stinking wraith.

"Yep. That pretty much sums it up," I told her.

So I closed my eyes and focused. The simmering feeling of heat in my chest, reminding me of tomato sauce bubbling on a stove. I took a deep breath and let that feeling move through my heart, past my shoulder, down to my elbow, up into my right hand. Avoiding my left side entirely.

No pushback for now.

I stopped my energy right before the branch. Not sure what it was going to do. Would it make it flourish? Grow more leaves? Flowers?

I let the energy enter the branch.

I didn't notice anything until something burned my fingertips.

I dropped the branch as I flinched back and opened my eyes. It was still burning. Smoldering with a pink glow. It wasn't a roaring flame. It was like a piece of charcoal pulled out of the fire.

The leaves on the branch were untouched, but the wood was glowing with heat despite falling to the ground. It wasn't even hot enough to melt the snow.

"Was that supposed to happen?" I asked as I looked up to see Vivian.

She was frowning. "It's nothing to be worried about. There's definitely lots of Hearth in you."

I was about fifty percent Hearth. Since Mom was only influenced by that coven. All my magic came from the Hearth side.

As faulty and barely working as it was.

"What does this mean for me?"

"I would say it means that your power has a very hard time taking shape. Raw energy leaving your body. You have a summon, right?"

"I do. I managed to summon it once since the semester started again."

The look on Vivian's face confused me for a moment. She was surprised. Like she knew nothing about that. Even though Jarec was there. Did he not tell her about that? Why?

I should maybe talk to him after this was over.

"That was quite a creature, can you handle it being out for long?"

"I don't know. I didn't keep it out until I got tired. I just wanted to see what the shape was clearly. I uh…don't really remember the first time I saw it all that clearly."

Vivian flinched a little. Probably remembering the sight of me collapsed and bleeding.

Not a fun time for anyone involved.

"Can you summon it now?"

"I can try. I did it once, why not?" I was a little more tired now than I was that previous attempt. But if I didn't push myself I would never get better at magic.

I needed to try. I wanted to try.

I brought my hands together, the world's slowest quietest clap. No sound at all in the quiet snow. I closed my eyes and counted to five.

I focused the heat in my veins into them. Avoiding my left arm, of course. I pulled my hands apart and turned them outwards.

My body shaky and extremely cold. Like my teeth were about to start chattering and a blizzard was blowing all around me.

But I stayed on my feet and let the energy leave my body. Focusing on the image of my summon. On the crystalline fur and alert ears.

Come on.

Come on!

I heard Vivian gasp.

I opened my eyes to see it sitting there. Just like the last time I summoned him. Massive tail resting on quickly melting snow. He glanced down at the stick that was still glowing but dimming fast.

I reached over to give him scratches on the back of his right ear. He leaned into my hand and started wagging his tail. He didn't look any better fed than the last time I saw him. All skin and bones.

Poor thing.

"See?" I turned to see Vivian looking at my good boy like he was going to try and claw my arm off again. "I think he was just trying to tell me about the curse."

"That's certainly a theory. Do you know what kind of…thing this is?"

Right. No one here knew what a werewolf was. At least if Jarec and Fethris' reactions were any indication.

I tried to think about how to explain. "It's…like a creature from folklore where I'm from. Lots of stories about them."

I had to remember most people on this island had never seen or heard of movies before. It was as close to the truth I could get without trying to explain things they probably wouldn't understand.

It was okay though. The big thing she needed to know was that it probably wasn't going to hurt me. Might hurt my enemies. Maybe.

If I learned how to cast it faster.

"Folklore. Huh. Humans have all kinds of strange myths."

"They do. I'm not an expert but there's a lot of stories I grew up with."

I wasn't sure if I wanted her to ask for details. She hadn't said anything to me. But I wasn't sure how she would react to talking about human stuff.

The worst of the folklore I grew up hearing I knew with certainty I couldn't tell her. I grew up less than an hour from Salem, history classes brought it up every October.

That would not help anything.

Please don't ask.

"In your stories, are these creatures good or evil?" Vivian asked.

"Um…neither? Like…they're people who got cursed. And sometimes they keep most of who they used to be, sometimes they don't."

"A curse? Maybe that's the connection."

"Maybe." I agreed because I didn't want her to try and examine why I might feel a connection with a creature that was part human and fighting between the human and wolf parts of themselves.

Nope. No thank you. That's too many complicated thoughts for one day. I was too tired and I doubted Vivian would be a good person to have that conversation with.

"What's this creature called?" She sounded very contemplative and calm.

"A werewolf." I told her the truth despite the risk of her doing her own research. Maybe it would be better that way.

"Werewolf," she repeated it slowly. Enunciating it like she was trying on a new pair of glasses. "Ruby's summon is a piece of where she came from. A story about a weasel with blades for feet."

That wasn't a myth I had heard of before. But I wasn't exactly an expert. And I knew nothing about where Ruby was actually from.

"What gives a summon it's shape?"

"That depends. There's a dozen potential reasons. It's about how you feel about yourself and magic. The only one who can tell you why your summon is that shape is yourself."

I looked at my summon. With it's jagged teeth and massive claws. My strength was fading fast so I probably needed to recall it soon.

I knew a lot about werewolf lore. Silver bullets to cleanse the curse, killing the one you cursed you to free yourself, the struggle between the two halves of one's self.

Yeah, I could guess why it was mine.

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