It was a lot to think about. I was sitting on the windowsill and trying to not focus too much on what Russel had told me. I needed to let the knowledge sit and marinate. I hadn't bothered changing out of my uniform yet. That was normal though. I usually didn't until it was curfew and we were basically locked in the Tower for the night.

Despite being a formal uniform, I never felt a strong urge to change as fast as possible. It wasn't stiff or uncomfortable, it was actually pretty warm. Besides, I liked the red. And the weight of the coat was nice. I had the hood up, putting a barrier between my skin and the glass.

I closed my eyes and tried to not think at all.

That's when I heard the sound of shifting furniture and distant voice. I opened my eyes to see nothing moving, which might have been concerning if this wasn't Dragon Tower. Just another Echo.

I shifted my position to have my back to the glass. The sound stopped after a moment and I almost closed them again before I heard a very familiar voice. One I knew and understood what it meant.

"Are we alone in here?" Red's voice, my voice. A question from my past self.

I remembered when I asked it. Our first night here in Dragon Tower. Back when we still thought Red might have been a ghost. Back before Death's Echo and wraiths and worries of doom.

I didn't want to stand up. I didn't want to go over there and answer her questions.

But….

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. If I was going to set my past self on the right path to be ready for what was coming for us… I had to answer her questions. At least some of them.

I needed her to trust me. Or at least be curious about me enough to follow through on stuff I give her.

I took a deep breath as I pulled the hood down lower and stood up from the windowsill. I could do this.

I couldn't see the others, not at first. But as I stepped closer to where I knew she was sitting they came into view. It was a little weird, mostly because the furniture was clipping into them a bit. There was a reason we moved stuff that night.

Past me was sitting there, no furniture in the way thankfully. I came up behind her slowly. Stepping cautiously as to not shatter my own confidence right now. It was the only thing keeping my strength in place.

I was going to need both to get through this.

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I knelt down onto one leg next to her. Close enough that I could reach the planchette. I needed her to trust me and I didn't have time for comprehensive answers here. I just needed to tell her the truth.

The board was right there. Clear as day. Just as I remembered it. Echo Blue just like they all were. It was also good to not have to look at her. The less I had to face this, the better.

She'd asked if they were alone. What she really wanted to know was if I was there in the room with her. M wasn't in the room with them either. Technically.

I reached for the wooden planchette. They all jumped back from it.

I thought about speaking, but I didn't trust my voice. If she heard the sound of my terror at her being here, it would be chaos. The others would know who I was instantly.

I moved the planchette to 'yes'. I wasn't really in the room with them. Which is what she wanted to know. Besides, my presence was what they all really wanted.

I kept my head down, I didn't want to see the looks on the other's faces. And I couldn't risk them seeing mine.

Not when my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. It was hard to even breathe. I needed to focus right now.

"Do you have a name?" Past me asked.

A silly question, in hindsight. An attempt to learn the name of what I thought was a ghost. I couldn't tell her my name. Not like this.

I tapped the planchette twice, an attempt to tell them that it was still a yes.

Please don't ask it. I can't answer you. Please. I'm barely holding it together right now past me.

"Are you going to tell us your name?" she asked anyway. Not hearing the silent pleas.

I moved the planchette to 'no'. I wouldn't tell her my name. If she found out, she wouldn't be able to do anything that she needed to right now. She had too many things on her plate as it was. And she couldn't do anything to change my situation.

"Are you a ghost?" she asked. The question that had seemed so obvious at the time. What else could Red have been? A glowing person I could see through and talk to. What else could she have been but a ghost?

The truth would be too much for her. It was too much for me.

The planchette vanished under my hand. Along with everyone around me. It was just me on the floor struggling to breathe and find my voice.

I wanted to sob. Or scream. Or something.

This was real. Too real. I wasn't going to be able to hide or run. And it matched my memory of that night.

Red was really my future. And it wasn't looking like I could change it.

My throat was clogged with all of the thoughts and feelings flooding me. Could I tell the others about this? Would it change anything?

Was my fate set in stone? Unchangable as the past?

I wasn't ready for any of this. Nowhere near ready. Would any amount of time for me to be ready?

I wanted to throw up. I could feel the shaking in my hands and my heartbeat was drowning out all sound.

I needed to be strong. For the others and myself.

Get it together Serafina. Breathe. In. And out. In. And out.

I needed to process. To let myself feel this now so I could focus later.

I took another deep breath. Just enough to steady myself and get to my feet. I leaned my head back and ran a hand through my hair, the hood falling on my shoulders.

My hair was still up. Hers was still very short.

It felt like a lifetime ago. Not a few months ago. That had been the last day of August, it was the middle of January. What was time? Where had it gone?

It didn't really matter anymore.

The past wasn't something I had control over. Not right now.

I clenched my fists and went up the stairs to my room. I doubted I would get much sleep that night, but I needed to try. There was still a lot of school year left and I couldn't lose steam now.

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