Tanya had never been more glad to have a sentient hand tattoo.

Ian was waiting outside, ready to go, and Tanya was begging at this point.

"Pretty please?"

Assistant stamped 'no' in mid air. It sent it into a smooth spin, intentionally facing away from her, and its fingers were laid on top of each other in what could only be crossed arms.

Tanya picked up some paper and a pen and tentatively offered it. "We could make a deal?"

Assistant took it, scribbling the words down faster than usual.

Why do you get to go and see the cool stuff?

Tanya racked her brain for any response that wasn't 'cause I want to' or 'cause I say so.' "You helped Mrs Eceer make 'em, yeah?"

Yes. I understand them better than you.

Tanya narrowly avoided saying 'ah, fuck' out loud. Assistant had a point.

Tanya changed tack. "What will it take?"

Assistant paused, seeming to expect it to have taken longer to get to this point.

Tanya's eyes flicked between Assistant and Ian through the gaps in the battlements. He was waiting patiently outside, but she didn't want to keep him waiting for long.

Assistant started writing, and Tanya circled around it to read from behind.

A tattoo of my own design and execution, where you get no say and three nail varnish colours that can't include any shades of black or gloss.

"The tattoo has to be on me, and I'll hunt for nail varnish, but you'll have to gamble on the number. Could be one, could be an entire set."

Deal.

"In return, you're gonna watch the shop and flash me Interface when Marcy or someone else arrives. Get a sign ready to explain what you are and that they need to sit and wait. If you freak someone out enough they leave, then the deal's off."

Assistant wrote a slightly more reluctant deal.

With that sorted, Tanya pulled on her leather jacket and stepped out into the spring chill.

"Sorry 'bout that," Tanya said.

"Is your assistant always that spirited?" Ian asked with a smile.

They began the walk to the east side of the wards, where Mrs Eceer was keeping watch.

Tanya laughed. "You heard then?"

"Were you bartering to take me to the wards?"

Tanya scratched the back of her neck. Her laugh became more awkward. "Pretty much."

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

Tanya worded it carefully. "We have information that there might be another Boss on the way, and right now our Wards can't handle that. It's not a huge rush, but what you do here today could be a big deal for us."

Ian adjusted his glasses, face ashen. "So no pressure then?"

Mrs Eceer was in her normal green fold-up deck chair in the same place as she always was, right in the centre of the street. She was alternating between holding the binoculars to her eyes and taking bites out of some kind of homemade sandwich.

The entire scene looked ludicrous if you didn't focus hard enough to see the shimmer of the wards a couple of feet ahead of her. Without that, she was just an elderly lady sitting on a lawn chair in the centre of the road, putting all her focus into staring down a random street in Whitechapel.

"Hey, Mrs E!" Tanya yelled as soon as they were in hearing distance.

She looked over her shoulder and rose to her feet, but stayed by her spot next to the barrier.

Mrs Eceer was far more patient than Tanya, and waited until polite conversing distance.

Tanya led the charge, with Ian following behind her.

Mrs Eceer leaned around Tanya to look. "And who might you—aha—you," Mrs Eceer said, not unkindly.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"Ian Barrow," Ian said, holding out a hand.

"I remember now," Mrs Eceer replied. "Mrs Eceer."

Mrs Eceer raised an eyebrow at Tanya. "And what do I owe the pleasure?"

From that line alone, Tanya could tell Mrs Eceer thought Ian was a complete wet blanket.

"I'm sorry to intrude," Ian said meekly. He was growing greener by the second.

"Ian here wants to do us a deal," Tanya said, trying to make up for the lack of pep in the other two.

"Hm?" Mrs Eceer replied.

Tanya continued. "He wants a tattoo from me, which either needs me to work on makin' tattoos for folks without a Class, or for us to help him get one."

Mrs Eceer adjusted her glasses, peering at Ian as if he were a rare specimen.

Ian gulped.

"No Class, hm? Have you not come across any monsters since we last spoke?" Mrs Eceer asked.

"You said to stay local, and, w-well, I'm inside the wards—uh—on the west side," Ian stammered.

"Hm. I did."

Ian looked at Tanya with a 'help me' in his gaze.

Tanya was incredibly amused by the whole situation. She understood why people found Mrs Eceer intimidating, but found it hard to imagine with all the times they'd shared together. That gave it a familiar feeling to seeing a friend from school being super polite to your parents.

"And what did you offer in return?" Mrs Eceer asked.

Tanya grabbed Ian by both shoulders from behind, pushing him a step further forward and leaning over his shoulder. "Ian here was a circuit safety guy."

Ian adjusted his glasses, looking everywhere but Mrs Eceer's face.

"PCB Design and Quality Assurance," Ian added.

"We know that the wards work with Earth logic," Tanya explained. "So even though he doesn't have a Class, I thought maybe Ian could help us work on 'em. Perhaps he sees some logic in them that we don't."

Mrs Eceer nodded slowly. "I also want the dead body of a monster."

"P-pardon?" Ian stammered.

"What?" Tanya said.

Mrs Eceer sat back down in her chair. It creaked under the weight. "It can be any type of monster you wish. I want you to kill it and bring it back to me. Then I want you to look at the wards with me to see if you spot anything. Then Tanya will look into giving you a tattoo."

Tanya leant closer and hissed, "What are you doing?"

Mrs Eceer just gave her a look that said either 'trust me' or 'don't mess with me' or both.

"It'll be fine," Tanya said, still reeling from whatever Mrs Eceer was playing at. "We can go together. I'll help."

"No," Mrs Eceer said. "I want it from him."

Tanya's mind boggled.

"Is she t-testing me?" Ian whispered. He was now white as a sheet. Somewhere between being told that his circuitry knowledge could keep the entire street safe and being told he had to single-handedly kill a monster, Ian became a statue, only capable of blinking and stammering.

"Yes," Mrs Eceer replied.

"She can hear really well," Tanya apologised.

That only made Ian's eyes wider.

"Well, thank y-you for the, um, opportunity," Ian said, turning to walk away with the grace of a creaky robot.

"I have no idea what you're doing," Tanya said to Mrs Eceer as she turned her annoyance coming through. "He has a daughter to get back to."

"You will," Mrs Eceer replied, not even turning her head. Then: "I know. He told me about her. Her name is Kaylee."

Tanya didn't know what to say to that.

"Sorry, she's not usually like that," Tanya said.

"It's alright," Ian said, his stiffness lessening.

Tanya could see the anxiety on his face as he tried to work out how he'd kill a monster.

All she could think of was that Mrs Eceer wanted Ian to prove himself as worth the trouble of the tattoo effort—that he wouldn't completely freak out. Perhaps she didn't see him as capable of helping her with the wards, and she really did want the monster corpse she was sending him for. Or maybe there was something special about a monster killed by someone without a Class; that would explain why she didn't want Tanya helping. It wasn't common that they met someone without a Class. Tanya guessed Ian had only made it because the wards had been set up; otherwise, a mini boss would have made mincemeat of his door and taken him already.

That one feels the most likely so far.

Mrs Eceer studied everything in painstaking detail. She volunteered for most ward watches, keeping one eye on the street and the other on her Interface. From a few off-hand remarks, it seemed she had even optimised the Interface for easy processing alongside visual input, so she never had to look away from the street.

Whatever she was doing, she had a reason for it.

I wonder why she couldn't tell us the reasonin'. It must change the outcome, or she'd have explained.

"Do you have any advice?" Ian asked.

"You're going to do it then?" Tanya replied.

"I don't think I have a choice, unless you'll give me a tattoo anyway?" His voice turned hopeful.

Tanya wrestled with it inside her head. It wasn't long ago that she would have immediately gone behind Mrs Eceer's back over a decision like this. To Tanya's memory, Mrs Eceer had never made a wrong decision when leading their group.

Tanya sighed. "I don't think so, sorry." She cracked her knuckles, trying to get the tension out of her body. "She might be strange, intimidating, and annoying as shit, but she isn't impulsive."

Ian raised his eyebrows. "You think she thought this through?"

Tanya laughed. "I know she thought this through."

Tanya pondered for a second.

"The System gives us these Ability Scores," Tanya said, staying with the Dungeons and Dragons comparison.

Ian looked over.

"They don't quite line up, but Mrs Eceer has this really high Intelligence Wisdom mix. She can think and read so fast that anyone else is incapable of keeping up."

"Even someone else with a Class?" Ian asked.

"Unless that someone else dedicated every waking moment to the pursuit of knowledge, they'd have no chance."

"I really hope she knows what she's doing," Ian said. It started off as a joke, but the end fell flat. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

They walked back into the shop. For a second, Tanya imagined hearing the bell ringing that used to be above the shop door. It had been one of the first things to go. They didn't want to declare to any monsters on the street that they were there. Tanya missed it.

Assistant flew over with a questioning aura.

"No wards. Mrs Eceer has sent him on a mission to kill a monster."

Why?

Tanya decided to tell Assistant her theories later. None of them would help Ian. "No idea."

The deal is still on?

"I get to go back when he's ready to look at the Wards, and I'll throw in any wrist jewellery I find," Tanya said.

Acceptable.

Tanya walked over to the counter, mind racing. She slapped her palms against the top of it. "Most of the monsters around here are easier to slash than stab. The most common are these dog ones that work in packs. I've also seen these huge kangaroo jumpin' ones and heard of flyin' ones. Anythin' that has a ball in its chest, you should avoid."

Ian stood there, mouth agape.

Assistant offered Ian some paper and a pen.

Tanya nodded towards it. "You should start makin' notes."

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