Watching the two as they talked, I realized something a little neat.

Lilly and Vim were calm with one another.

Vim looked, and acted, calm with everyone. That was kind of his thing, really, but I knew the truth. Deep down, Vim wasn't comfortable with many people. If not most, or all. Rather I shouldn't say he wasn't comfortable… he just simply didn't get too relaxed with certain people. As if he was always on guard, or something.

With Lilly though, Vim was more like he was with me than anyone else. He might not ever lie in her lap and vent as he did with me, but he was also not annoyed by her either like he was when with so many others. Even Merit was someone he didn't feel completely comfortable with… though that might be more because of her feelings for him than anything else.

And even more importantly, Lilly was likely as comfortable with Vim as she was with her own family, if not more so in certain ways.

"I don't mind Vim. You two can take as long as you want," Lilly said lightly as she blinked lazily at him. She was sitting at the table, like we were, but was resting upon it. She had her head on her crossed arms, and looked as if at any moment she was going to drift off into sleep. It made her look really young. Childish. And it was something I'd never seen her do before. A part of me wondered if the reason she was so relaxed like this was because Merit wasn't here with us, but I didn't remember her acting so like this when she and I had traveled alone back near her home up north.

The cause of her relaxed front was rather obvious, and he didn't seem to notice it at all. Vim's focus was more so on the strips of flesh that Lilly had gotten for him at the nearby plateau. They looked like little flaps of leather, tanned leather, like from a deer or something. But Vim said they were actually the flesh of a god. He had let me touch them earlier, so I had expected to feel something… special about them, but instead they had just felt like dried leather. I hadn't tingled or felt anything odd by touching or being near them.

"I'd rather not, for my own sake. The longer I linger here the more I'll get wrapped up in Light and her schemes, or Renn will. Neither are things I want," Vim said gently as he folded another piece. He was packing them together as to put in one of his monarch pouches.

"Light believes she'll be back before we leave. So odds are we won't be able to leave in the next few days at least," I said.

Lilly sighed, her eyes half-closed as she watched Vim. "Usually that would make Vim just leave right away," she said.

Vim nodded. "Usually. But well… circumstances…" he mumbled a little dejectedly.

"Me or the god you met?" I asked, both to tease him and for specifics.

He glanced at me, his eyes narrowing. He didn't answer though.

Leaning forward a bit, as to rest on the table, I glanced at Lilly and wondered if she was as tired as she looked. Was she about to fall asleep? For real? "I know you want to step down Vim, but you haven't yet. That means you're still the protector. And doesn't that mean you're supposed to be helping them all as much as you can?" I asked, not so much to poke and prod at him but rather to confirm he still believed himself to be the protector. A part of me was worried he no longer did, even though he hadn't officially stepped down yet.

"I know, Renn. Why do you think I've been spending these last few days doing so much for them?" Vim asked back.

"Because you're trying your best to not accept the fact that she'd rather spend time with others than you?" Lilly asked, teasing him.

I smirked at that as Vim glanced at her with a huff. "She kissed me the other day you know," he said in defense.

"Oh wow. Congratulations. A kiss from your wife, quite a feat," Lilly continued her teasing. Vim's eyes narrowed some more, obviously the teasing was working.

I though felt as if the teasing was being directed at me now. I felt a slight blush hit my face as I squirmed in my seat. This was the second time now that Vim had brought up my kiss; the first had been with Merit. As if he was actually proud of the fact that I'd kissed him or something. Maybe he was?

Should I tell her I planned to sleep with him tonight, and not Merit? I kind of wanted to, just to see and hear her reaction, but I knew that I'd just get teased more than I already was over it so decided not to. After all, Lilly would interpret my statement as something other than what I actually meant.

I only wanted to lay in bed with him, and talk through the night. Something we'd not done in a long time. Not since Telmik.

It wasn't his fault, honestly. Lilly was right. It was mine. I could have spent more time with him, but I was instead focused on others. If I wasn't with her or Merit, I was with Brandy or Reatti. Or I spent all day at the new cathedral being built.

Honestly it made me feel a little bad, because Lilly wasn't the only one teasing him over my lack of… paying attention of him. Merit and others had brought it up too.

But… I mean… I had my reasons. And it wasn't just the fact that I worried about leaving, and not seeing my friends again for a long period of time.

The bed we had at the Animalia Guild was nice, and comfortable, and actually smelled perfectly fine. But there was another issue with the room, one that now existed thanks to how well I could hear things. I had noticed it lately while sleeping in Merit's room, since she was only a couple doors from Tosh's. He snored a bit, and I was now able to readily hear it if I focused. Which meant others with good hearing, or better hearing than I once had, would be able to hear into my room too if I wasn't careful.

It was such a silly worry, but I feared being heard. By those nearby. My room wasn't too close to anyone else's, but there were still a few that were close enough that it was possible. And there were people who lived above and below it, on different floors. Last thing I needed, or wanted, was for weird rumors and stories about me and Vim to spread thanks to someone hearing a weird sound or noise, or even worse hearing an important conversation.

Glancing at Vim and his slight indifference to the moment as he finished packing away the god's skin into his pouches… I wanted to sigh at him. Even if he didn't actually deserve me blaming him, as if it was all his fault that I was now able to hear better and thus was scared others could too.

But so many had been telling me lately it was the wife's privilege to be a little selfish… so, well…

So I did.

He glanced at me. "Tired?" he asked.

"Why are you asking me? Lilly's been about to fall asleep for well over an hour!" I said.

"Am not," Lilly mumbled, sounding asleep already.

"Hm… it might be time to return. Unless you'd like to have dinner together, that is," Vim noted as he glanced to the nearby window. It was getting darker.

"I'm fine, unless Renn wants to," Lilly said with her tired voice.

Gosh she actually did seem tired. I wondered if she didn't sleep at all, normally? Maybe she didn't like sleeping here, in this city, alone. Should I offer to stay here for the night…?

"Is she actually tired Vim? I know she won't answer me if I ask, so I'll ask you," I asked.

He smiled and nodded. "Yes. Lilly is one of those types who waits until she's utterly exhausted before resting. Odds are it's because of her injuries and healing after you fought the monarch. She likely had been on edge the whole time while at the Bell Church," he said.

Oh! That made a lot of sense. It had seemed as if she hadn't actually slept, even though she had been in a bed for nearly a whole day after the event.

"Don't look so happy to hear I'm such a weakling, Renn. Sheesh," Lilly grumbled at me.

"I wasn't thinking that! I was actually wondering if you wanted us to stay the night so you can get a good night's sleep," I said happily.

Lilly sat up a bit and blanched at me. "And listen to you two flirt all night long? Who knows what kind of ghoulish nightmares I'd have then. No thank you," she said.

"Ghoulish…?"

"Then we'll go and let you sleep. I have to spend the morning with Brandy and Blasco, but after that I'll be at the company building the rest of the day," Vim said as he went to stand from the table.

Lilly nodded lazily as she stretched a bit and yawned. "I'll be here," she said, speaking a bit before her yawn ended so she sounded cute as she did.

"Are you sure you don't want to just go home, Lilly…?" I asked softly.

"I do. But remember we have to take Lellip up north, and I'd rather travel with you two doing that," she said.

Oh. Right… I sighed as I glanced at Vim. "And we need to help Randle and the rest leave up north too, Vim," I reminded him. Winter was basically almost over…

"I've not forgotten Renn. At all. I plan to use those things as my excuse to leave here in a few days, once I finish the important stuff," he said.

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"Mhm…" I wanted to grumble and complain over that, but knew better than to do so. Lellip, Randle… we had promises with them. To help them. And as much as I liked spending time with Merit and the others here, we had already been here for a few months already…

Usually Vim and I didn't spend so long in one place. The last time I'd been here we had stayed for so long thanks to the ruckus. Fly and those monsters. Now… well…

"Get going already. I'm going to wipe down and sleep," Lilly said, and then yawned again.

"Okay. Goodnight Lilly," I said as I hurried to stand. She really was tired!

"Mhm," she made a similar noise, akin to the one I had just made to Vim. I smirked at that as I stepped away from the table and towards the door, following Vim. I put my hat on and tucked my tail back into my pants as I waved goodbye to the sleepy owl.

We left Lilly's temporary home, and I was glad to hear her lock the latch on the door as we headed down the stairs to the street.

"Is she still hurt, Vim?" I asked worriedly.

"No. She's just tired, Renn. She's likely not slept much since we got here, and then she endured the injuries and healing of Light. Odds are she won't get any real rest until she gets home, she's just like that," Vim said as we headed back towards the Animalia Guild.

"I feel as if I've slept less than she has, yet I don't feel too tired," I said.

"You've absorbed a heart, Renn. A slightly strong one, too. You'll from now on start noticing your new limits, and in some cases will find they're quite drastic," he said.

"Like hearing through solid walls and doors," I said.

He glanced at me and nodded. "More than you already did, yes. Oddly hearts usually just amplify one's innate abilities. You just so happen to have already been… well… you, even before you took one in. So it'll do more for you than most, like Sap for instance. She had been born weak, so the heart had simply made her normal. You had already been strong, so…" he shrugged a bit as he gestured at me, as if my very being was already answer enough and thus he didn't need to specify what he actually meant.

"To this big of a degree though, Vim? It's so bad it startles me sometimes. The other night I had heard Brandy and Gerald talking through his office door, several feet from the room. I had heard them as clear as if the door had been opened," I said.

"We've spoken of this. You'll slowly adapt to it, and be fine. Worry not," he said.

"I'm… not really worried, as much as I am disturbed. Is your hearing this good?" I asked.

"In some ways. I try not to focus too much during such moments. I respect privacy," he said.

"I do too! I just… heard it, is all…" I mumbled as we had to pause a moment. A small cart was in the way, slowly being pulled by what was obviously an old horse. Why'd they make such an old and tired animal work so hard? It sounded like it was struggling, and the cart wasn't even that big or that full.

Vim and I watched the cart for a moment, and then before we crossed the street he grabbed my hand. I smiled at him, almost forgetting all about the tired horse, and we crossed the street hand in hand.

For a bit we walked in silence, making me thankful that it wasn't storming or raining. Although I enjoyed such weather… I wearing heavier duty clothing and rain-gear made it so Vim usually didn't hold my hand as we walked. Since it was either cumbersome, or because he worried about me getting wet.

"I'd invite you out again Renn, but I actually have to go find out what they all thought of Tundra," Vim then said as we rounded a corner.

"Hm… it's fine. Are you busy tonight though?" I asked.

"Tonight?"

I nodded as we passed a shop. One that was just now closing. There were a pair of men talking lightly about their lack of customers as they closed up shop. "Can we sleep together tonight? Or are you busy and I get to bother Merit some more?" I asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Vim smirk, but I didn't turn to look at him. Instead I kept staring into the window of the shops we were walking past. None of them were too interesting, thanks to my having seen them all already, but I pretended as if they were all of a sudden. "I only have a few things to do. I can hurry and finish them up if you'd like to bathe together, yes," he said.

"Bathe too…?" I asked and looked at him, a little shocked to hear it.

He nodded. "I've felt dirty lately, so I should I think," he said.

"Dirty…?" I asked. Him? I mean, Vim did get dirty often… but lately he hadn't seemed so.

"I've been spending too much time in that church, you see," he said with a smirk.

Oh. He was being rude. "It's not even a church yet," I said.

"Funny. Some would say a church can be anywhere and anything, while others would agree with you. That only certain places, blessed and ordained, can be churches."

"Although I find that very interesting, I'd rather talk about our little bath date right now," I said, doing my best to not focus too much on his attempt to switch topics.

He smirked and nodded, accepting defeat. "I'll handle what I need to… do you want to have dinner together too? Or?"

Hm… "I'll eat with Reatti and Tosh, I think, and then we can bathe together," I decided.

"How is Tosh anyway?"

"Wondering why you've not talked to him lately. He's fine though, otherwise. He's not as… chipper? As Merit and the others say. He's a little depressed compared to how he had been last time I was here, or well… after he got back to normal from his weirdness," I said.

"Hm… So he's remembered everything, has he?" Vim wondered.

"Merit says he has."

"Sometimes forgetting is the best thing that can happen. Hopefully this time he can endure it," he said.

I wanted to ask for the details, since I'd only gotten a brief explanation from Vim once, but decided against it. Vim didn't like talking about such pasts and secrets concerning anyone, himself or otherwise.

"Also, I don't know if you know, but Magdalena is going to get married soon. To one of the men, Harrold, who came back with Light," I told him.

"I'd be shocked if not for the fact such a thing is common. Used to be people settled down and mated within days of meeting each other back in the day," Vim said with a frown.

"Doesn't explain us at all," I mumbled.

"As I said, back in the day."

I huffed at him.

"Still I'm glad for her. Even more so that she's settling for one of our own," Vim said.

"Congratulate her, would you? A lot of the people here aren't being very nice about it… you know, since he's part of that group who left so long ago and whatnot," I said.

Vim nodded knowingly. "That'll be a problem, Renn. Maybe one that will never go away. Many of our people, thanks to how long we live, have longer memories. Berri's one of the nicest people I know and even she had some choice words for them," he said.

Speaking of the narwhals. "Are you going to take them up north with us, Vim?" I asked. He had told me that Berri was worried for her daughter, and wanted Narli close to Vim for the foreseeable future… since it was dangerous for her now.

He sighed gently as he nodded. "It's what Berri wants. And although I'd like to think that I solved Narli's possible situation… well…" he didn't finish his sentence as we rounded another corner and the Animalia Guild building came into sight.

It was still slightly busy, even though it should be time for the doors to be getting shut.

"Is there not anyway for you to prove it, Vim? Can't you… sense them? Like you do us and monarchs?" I asked softly. There wasn't anyone else around us, but I wasn't going to speak too loudly concerning such matters.

"Only to a degree. I've begun to ask everyone to keep eyes and ears out for… discrepancies, but I'm not sure how well that will work. Plus that could take years, if not decades, for word of something to reach me," he said.

"Discrepancies?" I asked.

"Gods are noticeable if you know what to look for. They change the weather, create monsters, and perform miracles… fly in the air without wings, and so on and so forth. So listening for rumors of such things is usually a good indicator if there's a god anywhere in the world causing chaos. But, like I said, that's a reactive warning system. Not a preemptive one to say the least," he said.

"So… you have those like Brandy keep an ear out for so called miracles, oddities that can't be explained, and then you go find out if they're real or not…? What do you do about the ones that are always circulating amongst the humans? The restaurant we were in the other night had people talking about some sea monster they saw the other day on the horizon," I said. People had been laughing at it, arguing if it had been a giant duck or a snake. No one had been able to get the story right.

"There are ways. I've been using such a method for thousands of years Renn, after so long anyone would get a certain sense for it," he said.

Ah… right…

Thousands of years…

Slowing a little, since we were about to cross the street as to walk into the Animalia building, I squeezed Vim's hand to get him to stop for a moment too. He did, and turned to smile at me with his patience of eternity, waiting for me to speak my mind.

I tried to choose my words carefully as I gently shrugged at him. "Will… Will I live that long too now, Vim?" I asked softly.

He blinked at me and then frowned. "Honestly Renn, you might. Hearts are conduits to divine power. Real power. What you would consider magic. And… well… whether I like it or not, that power manipulates reality and alters even the physical. It breaks the rules."

I noted he didn't actually give me a genuine answer. Not an actual year amount.

"Rough estimate?" I asked.

"You'll likely outlive your first few children, Renn," he whispered.

Oh…

I blinked suddenly teary eyes as I nodded at his answer. "Why'd you answer like that…? That hurt," I whispered.

"Because it was the truest answer I could give you," he said, whispering just as softly.

Squeezing his hand, he squeezed it back.

Nodding at him, I returned to walking… and although was proud of myself for not crying as we entered the building… I wasn't proud over the sad fact that I now knew one of Vim's fears. Or rather, just confirmed one of them.

Outliving my children would indeed break my heart. Beyond what I could possibly imagine. But… for him to have answered in such a way so readily…

It was clear such a fear has been long in his heart too. Eating away at the back of his mind.

Was… was that one of the reasons he was so hesitant to have children with me? Was it not just because of his disdain for prophecies…?

If so it made so much sense. It was, in a way, a continuation of his fear of his love for me. He had fought it originally, putting up walls and barriers around his heart against me, because he had feared loving me. Because he had feared what time would do to that love; either destroy it completely, or make it hallow and dull.

It had taken me longer than I wanted to admit to break those barriers down. And honestly I still felt as if I was doing so, even today.

Was that my next barrier? If so that was quite a terrible one. Daunting, to say the least. How did one confront such a horrible fear?

Sadly I could think of many in the Society who could probably answer such a question for me, having either experienced it themselves… or were currently doing so.

Glancing at Vim as we entered the building, and were greeted by Reatti and Lawrence, I did my best to not bury such a realization too deeply.

I would need to ponder such a thing. To weigh it, and process it. To better understand it… so that I could not only understand the man I loved, but find a way to help him face that fear. And hopefully do it in a way that allowed me to face it and overcome it myself too.

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