I had wanted to learn about the world.

Not just the world itself, or the humans… but the true world beyond the trees. The world that didn't exist in stories. The world my gentle father avoided to speak of. The world my mother cursed. The world the protector… protected us from.

But I had not wanted to learn about it this way.

Kneeling down, I felt strangely weak as I stared at Slip's still face.

"I'm sorry Branch. So… so sorry…" Klime whispered behind me. The large man shifted, and the wet ground made odd sounds as he did.

Taking a deep breath, I sighed it out as I reached over to touch the woman's face.

She was cold.

But at least she looked at peace.

"Who else…?" I asked softly as I glanced around. Slip wasn't the only body lined up here in this mud. There were dozens, and not a few were covered in sheets or blankets.

"Sammy. Plieter too, and his sister. I… don't think anyone else from our group fell, but…" Klime went quiet, as if embarrassed. Likely was.

I sighed again, and this time it hurt a little. Sammy? Naft and her brother…? They had died with Slip…? I wonder where their bodies were.

"Anyone else hurt bad?" I asked. If we had this many deaths in one battle, there would undoubtedly be those who had survived… but only that, and only for now.

I heard the large man nod his head, since he still wore his thick leather armor. It made strained noises as he moved and shifted his upper body. "Several injuries. Welp lost an arm, and they don't think Vivi will survive the night. They're the worst. The rest have normal injuries. Broken bones and whatnot," Klime said.

By the dead gods, it was that bad…? It would have been faster to have been told who had survived unscathed then, from our little group.

For a long moment I sat there, staring at Slip's face. It was a little dirty, and she had a dried up cut on her cheek… but it was relatively unharmed. A rarity amongst such battles as this. I knew the reason many of the bodies nearby had been covered with blankets was because of how gruesome they had been, not because anyone here actually wanted to be pious or respectful.

Her cause of death was obvious. A half broken shaft from a spear was extruding out of her chest. I knew if I stripped her of her armor and clothes, I'd see that it lodged near her birthmark. It was one of those thick javelin-like spears, ones that were not thrown but shot from artillery equipment.

She had likely died quickly. If not instantly, at least in moments. A good death and likely why she didn't have a terrible expression frozen on her face as so many usually did.

Klime stayed quiet, but remained standing behind me. Even as people ran past, barking orders. The battle was over, we had won, but now it was time to secure the prisoners and gather wounded and dead. Usually people lingering, like we were, got yelled at.

No one did though. It was likely because of Klime. The large man was unmistakable, even at a distance. It made me wonder sometimes if he had non-human blood flowing in his veins. It was crazy such a tall, broad shouldered, man went battle after battle without getting hurt too badly. Usually men like him were targeted first by arrows and the cocky looking to make a name of themselves.

He was just that strong. That lucky.

Like me.

Patting Slip's head, I felt tired as I glance again around her. At all the bodies nearby. This was just one of the many places they were being gathered and placed. Some men were heading this way, pulling a horse along behind them. One that undoubtedly had a sled-like thing behind it, with bodies stacked upon it.

What was the point of winning if it cost this much to do so…?

It wasn't even as if we had been fighting for some great cause or reason.

We had simply been employed by one noble, to attack another. We had been hired to settle a petty dispute between two powerful families.

I wasn't even sure what the dispute was about. Likely something stupid. Honor or something.

"Go check on the wounded. Get them anything they need," I said as I slowly stood.

Klime didn't answer, or step away. I turned to find out why, and found him frowning at me.

"Klime?" I asked. Was he disobeying me, or something? Not something he did. Ever.

"You… going to be okay, sir?" he asked gently.

Oh.

I nodded. "Yes."

His frown deepened, and I knew it was because he hadn't believed me. I could read him rather well, which was rare for me. Usually it was hard for me to tell what a human was thinking about.

Actually… I'd gotten better at it, hadn't I? Likely thanks to the years with all of them, in the Silken Band.

How many had it been… anyway…?

Glancing back down at Slip, I hesitated as I realized she did look older. I hadn't noticed originally, thanks to the grime all over her face… and of course, how peaceful she looked. But I could see it.

She was old. Far older than she had been when we met.

"Klime…" I spoke up, as I tried to remember how long I'd known her. How long I'd been here, a member of the band.

"Boss?"

"How old was she?" I asked.

"Slip…? I… don't know, sir. A little older than you, I'm guessing."

That was no help. I wasn't as old as he thought I was. I was older than most of them combined.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"When'd we join…? How long ago?" I asked instead, choosing a different path to my answer.

"About six years ago…?" Klime answered.

Six…?

That was all…?

Maybe dying aged you quickly, or something.

Why had I never noticed before…? How many hundreds of people have I killed? How many thousands have died around me?

I really should pay more attention.

While staring at Slip, I noticed an odd blurriness. I blinked a few times, wondering if something had gotten into my eyes or not… but realized after a moment what was wrong.

Reaching up, I wiped the spot under my eye near my nose that I had felt it sliding down… and then stared at the glimmer of a tear on my fingertips.

Right…

Lowering my hand, I nodded. "She was one of those pagans, wasn't she?" I asked Klime.

"Yes Boss… From up north. Think they like to hang their bodies in the trees or something, but I don't know the actual process," Klime said gently.

I nodded. "Find someone who does. We'll at least honor her… and the rest too. How about the others?" I asked.

"I'm… not sure about Sammy. Never talked about such things. The siblings though, they had been part of that church in that nation to the south. The singing church one," Klime said.

Ah…! I knew that one. That was the Society's.

Those ones got buried proper. That'd be tough to do in this mud; we'll have to take them a bit away from here. Not too big a problem. "We'll… bury them properly. Let's do the same for Sammy, just in case," I said.

"Sure Boss," Klime said simply.

I noted his tone. He was unsure of himself, but not willing to argue or question. Either he found my sentimentality odd… or was just stunned and emotional himself.

Either way didn't matter. Ever group in the Silken Band was allowed to subscribe to their own beliefs, and perform their own rituals. As long as they didn't interfere with the jobs assigned to them. Now that the war was over, and the battles won, we wouldn't need to worry. I'd be able to spend time and resources on our dead and wounded without hesitation.

Turning to face Klime again, I nodded at him. "Go get someone to gather up their bodies. I want them gathered before they just start burning or burying them," I said.

Klime hurriedly nodded. "Right Boss," he said and then turned and hurried off. He kicked up the slushy mud as he ran towards the tents nearby.

I watched him run for a moment, to see if I had not noticed any injuries. I didn't see any. He ran fine, even seemed to not be exhausted at all.

He definitely was not entirely human. Though not a non-human himself, he undoubtedly had our blood in his veins... no matter how thin it were.

Oddly enough I'd been keeping an eye out for others of my kind. I had expected to run into more of them out here. Maybe not on the battlefields, but at least… somewhere. Yet as far as I was aware, I'd not met any non-humans lately. At least, none that weren't members of the Society.

It made me wonder if I wasn't as astute as I hoped I was. I mean… sure, I didn't notice a lot of things. Such as Slip's aging. But that was for human stuff, wasn't it…?

Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

A part of me wanted to think I was strong. Wise. A good leader, and an even better soldier. But the reality was I didn't hold a candle to my mother.

Not as good a warrior as my mother. Not as wise as my father…

Maybe I was as bad as my siblings, maybe they were right. Maybe my way of life was wrong. Maybe I myself was wrong…

"Boss…?"

I blinked, and then blinked again when I realized my eyes were blurry once more, and turned to find Klime and a few of the other guys. I was glad to see familiar faces, ones that weren't cold and peaceful looking. A few had grimaces of pain or displeasure, but at least they were alive.

"We'll gather up Slip and the rest. If… you're ready for us to do so," Klime said, gesturing to her.

I gulped and nodded. "Yeah… yeah."

Stepping back, I felt oddly unsteady on my feet… for what was likely the first time since I was young. The last time I felt this dizzy was when Vim had been dangling me over a cliff, holding me by my ankle as he did. He had been upset that I had broken my sister's toy.

Somehow this was scarier.

Klime and the rest had brought some kind of stretcher and a bundle of blankets. They were respectful as they gathered up Slip, putting her on the stretcher. Once they got her away, they went a few dozen feet to the right and gathered up another body.

Sammy…? They had been that nearby and I hadn't noticed?

Jeez something really was wrong with me.

Once they got both the bodies situated, Klime walked over to me and nodded. "We'll take them to our tent, and then get a proper cart and take'em to that forest we passed on the way here. The one a day or so away," he said.

I nodded. Yes. "That sounds good. Thank you, Klime."

The large man shifted, glanced at our fellows… then looked back at me and nodded back. "Alright boss…"

He lingered for a moment, and then stepped away to join the rest and take the bodies away. I didn't join them, even though I felt as if I was supposed to. It took actual effort to not step forward, to walk alongside them as they quietly carried Slip and the rest towards the tents.

While they left, I glanced around… feeling suddenly lost.

Slip was gone.

She had been the only one to know what I was. Who I actually was. Being a pagan, and since I had felt… responsible for her, I had opened up to her more than I should have. And she had repaid that loyalty until the end. Not only had she kept my secret all this time… she had did her best to always help me. To sit and explain stuff to me, stuff I couldn't ask anyone else about since it would have revealed I was different.

Although not the first human friend I'd gained… I had no choice but to admit her death, her loss, was hitting me different.

But should it have…?

Not only did humans die quickly, aging faster than we owls… this was war. We lived as mercenaries. A lifestyle that didn't allow one to grow old in the first place.

If anything her lasting as long as she had…

"Didn't she… want to find a home…?" I whispered as I remembered.

She had. That had been the whole point. It was why we had joined the Silken Band, originally, back then. I had wanted a steady source of income, as to keep us fed. But the real goal back then was to have earned enough to buy her residence rights to a town.

Some noises drew my attention from Klime and the rest, so I turned… to find a cart being pulled over to the pile of bodies. A bunch of younger men hurried to unload the cart. Although they rushed, and looked scared and exhausted as they did, they didn't just toss the bodies onto the pile. They carefully laid each one down next to the other, respectfully.

I noted their insignia on their backs, dedicating it to memory. Their group was a good one, to treat their dead fellows like they were. No one would have been able to complain even if they had tossed the bodies like sacks of dirt.

Watching them for a moment, I wondered… how old was I?

To me they looked young. Almost too young to be doing the job they were doing. Most still had baby-fat around their cheeks. Usually such fat was long gone by the time they reached these types of battlefields. The lack of constant food took care of that usually, then the stress and heavy labor took care of what survived that.

Yet… honestly, was I any older?

I mean sure, I was over a hundred years old. To humans that was ancient. They spoke of their great-ancestors as if forgotten legends sometimes, and when you did the math you realized they were talking about people younger than me half the time.

But… what if one compared our ages in a certain perspective…?

If I could live a thousand years, or more, like my parents… then wasn't I in theory the same age as those boys there?

A child.

A genuine child.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly let out the air that tasted of metal.

"I need to distract myself," I decided.

Stepping away from the pile of bodies, I went to rejoin Klime and the rest. As to help them with the last rites of our fallen comrades… and also to busy myself.

There was no one left to swing a sword at, regretfully, so it would have to do.

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