Dear Diary,

Y'know, maybe I've been thinking about this whole 'different perspective on the world' thing wrong this whole time. Specifically when it comes to Mimic. Ever since I really accepted that I am in fact a Goddess, and that means that I've got to detach myself from the entire 'shit pyramid' scheme that the rest of the here and now Deities seem to be employing, I've worried that I'm going to accidentally trip, swallow laxatives, cop a squat atop the top tier of the pyramid, and add another brown stanky layer to the world. Hopefully adding a metaphoric layer to shit pyramid, because what with my ass covering a substantial portion of the North American Tectonic Plate, I could easily wind up doing so literally.

I mean, hopefully in terms of 'I'd rather fuck up society than cover the world in literal shit', not 'hopefully I do that'. Which honestly is kinda fucked, when I think about it. I'm sure Mimic shit is no worse for the world than any other kind of shit, and once you clean it off the bits that shouldn't be covered in shit, it might work as decent fertilizer. On the other hand, another metaphoric layer added to shit pyramid helps no one. Not even me, because there are people I care about who are not gonna avoid getting coated in metaphoric shit if I do that.

That always got to me, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. People are people, and people have value, but so many people only value people who are somehow connected and valuable to them. Somebody getting assaulted shouldn't be horrifying because they're your sister or daughter or wife. It ought to be horrifying because somebody's gotten assaulted. Our value as humans shouldn't be based on what we can do for other people, it should be because we are, in fact, people.

Thing is, some people really do have a different perspective. Like what I was talking about yesterday, with some being all words and others being all pictures and some being everything all at once and some being nothing at all. The Kraken are something else entirely, and the more I meditate and focus on my tentacles I'm realizing that her perspective, my perspective as her, is going to be even more alien than the Kraken. They're different, but they're still biological things from the Mortal Realm. That part of me is, well, purely a Mana construct based in M-Space. Like, still a person, and maybe might have been there since before biology if the tales are true, but wildly alien in outlook.

Thing is, there have been times when I feel that urge to cop a squat on shit pyramid. Because I'm only Human. Human-adjacent, whatever, but still, my outlook and everything is fundamentally Human. The other Deities here and now are pretty much the same, even though some of them just aren't quite Human at times, like Pyevatar. Thing is, I don't remember any of those hierarchical impulses during that ride along. So maybe if the Mimic part of me is alien enough, I'll have no impulses to do unto others as previous Deities have done.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying that I'm just gonna lay back and let Mimic take the wheel. That bitch would have me popping my ladies into my Maw like popcorn, and from what Saffron tells me that is not something survivable in the Mortal Realm. Or for Mortal bodies or Souls. Yeah, some part of them goes wandering in dreams, and that bit shows up at my Maw, and that gets fed to me, but thus far I've not seen a detrimental effect on any of my ladies from that. Given Mads literally exploding last time I Reveled with her, yet being up and moving the next day, I'm not gonna worry about that. Okay, not in any kind of 'there is a legitimate reason to be worried about this' way, the way I do about the remaining kaiju out in the Atlantic.

Speaking of the kaiju, some part of me felt a little, I dunno, weirded. Anxious, maybe. So when everybody else went to bed, I collapsed down to just one of me atop the West Tower in M-Space, sat down tailor style, closed my eyes, and focused on my tentacles. Specifically on the ones as far east as I could feel. Oddly enough, that far out the awful slimy goop down near the base wound up feeling different. Not better, just different, although it also felt almost like there was a sort of motion to it. Not sure on that, because like I said before, alien sensations are alien, but still it felt different to the tentacles growing from shallower waters.

I also thought it was kinda weird that there was any kind of silt or mud or slime on the floor of the ocean in M-Space, but it's not like I had any kind of reference for that. I guessed maybe once all the kaiju and their cosmic shit stain of a leader got dealt with, I could maybe ask the Kraken about it. I figured maybe they'd know.

Spent all night doing that with the sounds of my ladies watching yet another highlight reel of Saffron demonstrating her utter mastery of everything bedroom related filled my ears. Honestly, I might have been better able to focus on my tentacles if I blocked that out somehow, but I couldn't bring myself to. My Kitten whispered shit to me while she worked, and hearing those sounds again, hearing my own responses to them, then the audio of her doing unto me and me responding in whatever way she let me lit a fire that kept me warm even in the icy cold at the pinnacle of the M-Space West Tower. Not just a fire in my loins, either, but one in my chest as well.

Co-Located to bed as I heard them all waking up, specifically to watch my Kitten's boot up sequence. While we lay there, in that quiet morning time before the kids started waking and needing direction and help, I murmured, "you're too good to me."

She chuckled. "I was going to say the same thing."

"Who's the one who got her world rocked for eight straight hours the other night?"

She snorted and snuggled into me. "I hope you felt my world rocking right along with yours at least a few of those times, Goof."

I smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, but you were recreating your demo on 'making woman go ping', only just for me."

"Mmm... Do you remember that time you broke the bed?"

I had to think about that, and the recollection wasn't exactly clear. Like, I remembered in general, but the general memory was one of giving in to utter animal instinct. "Um, I think so?"

"Yes. Well. You destroyed our hideaway bed, and were I one whit less durable, I think you might have destroyed me as well."

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Despite the quiet satisfied happy noises that accompanied her murmuring, that still worried me. "You mean I hurt you?"

She shrugged. "Some of those things might have hurt. Possibly. Are you telling me none of the positions I put you in the other night hurt?"

My face heated as I started purring without thinking about it. "Um, yeah, but I like that kind of thing. Also, y'know, one part pain and nine parts pleasure is still gonna be awesomesauce on the happy scale."

She nodded into my cleavage, and I had to quell the impulse to shrink and do the same to her. "Mmm, exactly."

"Huh?"

"You were savage and unrestrained and while you gave not a single errant thought to pleasing me, you did so anyhow. To make it clear, that experience lives in my memory as one of the most pleasurable and intense series of sexual climaxes you've ever delivered unto me in a single session, my Goddess." Her purring had hit a point where the kids and kits around her started stirring, so I knew she wasn't just making shit up, but I still didn't quite get it.

"Um, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Did you enjoy yourself while you did that to me?"

I couldn't help the goofy grin that stretched my lips. "Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep. Um..."

"As soon as I'm sure you've gotten my point, you may."

Yeah, as always that spurred my desire to know more. "So, what's your point then?"

She raised her lips and smiled up at me. "I enjoyed myself just as thoroughly giving that demonstration as you did being the object I demonstrated upon."

"Oh? Oh. Oh!"

She giggled a little. "She has comprehension!"

One Co-Location and bit of Shapeshifting later I looked down at her, brain going a little bit fuzzy. "And you?"

"And me."

Fortunately Conrad builds for the ages. Also, kind of odd, but the mirrors enhanced even that. Maybe I'm growing up, because even at my most unhinged I still watched her, directly and in the mirrors, and knowing she enjoyed me enjoying her made me enjoy it even more. I think the thing that will stick with me most, as some part of me tried to form words, to ask her if that same kind of feedback loop made things better for her, she just looked up, bit her lip in an effort to focus, stared into my eyes, and nodded. Then nodded again as if to say, 'crank the feedback up to eleven, Goof'.

Had to explain why to the kids why Mom vanished suddenly, but fortunately we've been open and honest enough with them that my simple, "she got distracted by something she needed to focus on, she'll be back in just a bit," answered their question and placated them.

Even if, after sniffing Saffron when she showed up a few minutes later, Isnomi declared us both silly again.

Not sure what to think that the kits saw that, imitated her sniffing, then all nodded and agreed with her diagnosis.

Okay, really not sure what to think of the single exception. Hailee, as she was wont to do, had stayed with Siobhan while everyone else got up and cycled through the water closet. If we'd been in a hurry, we could run up to the toilets in the Bath, but none of us felt the need, so we all just did morning waking up and getting ready for the day things while waiting our turn on the toilet. I mean, they all waited for a turn on the toilet. Not sure what it means that the kits use the toilet as much as Isnomi, even though Marie and I don't. Maybe it's a kid thing, but so long as they come up Healthy, I'm not gonna argue with it.

But Hailee, snuggled in with Siobhan while the two of them waited for everyone else to be clear in case Siobhan needed to sprint for the toilet the moment she got vertical, sniffed, then murmured, "good."

Not sure what to think of her being the first kit to openly disagree with Big Sister Isnomi, and equally unsure what to do with the information that the Menace herself heard, frowned, stared at Hailee like that for a minute, then shrugged, nodded, and said, "twoo".

Some part of me is very, very worried that I will need to find some kind of bribe for Pyevatar and Ilmatar when my horde of hellcats hits the age they want to discard their innocence like an ill fitting childhood haircut and kidnap poor Lemmy for a month. I'm not even speaking to the part that connected that fact to how the kits had caught up to Isnomi in size already.

Nope. Not. No. Nein. Just to be clear, I'm not denying their eventual desire to do so, nor their Agency to do so once they hit a size to defend themselves and a maturity level to understand their decisions. I'm just denying my own need to think about that right now.

Instead, for the rest of the morning I thought about my anti-Poseidon plan. The bits I understood were in place. The information I needed I wasn't ready to go get yet, although some of it I knew would be easier to ask for than find myself. So while a bunch of me swam north of what I thought of as Maine, then east, and others did the same from Jackville, only heading south before east, looking for shit I knew had to be somewhere, the rest of me kept up with my whole daily routine. Because somehow that helped me with the weird sensations of my tentacles feeling their way along the continental shelf one at a time, both in M-Space and the Mortal Realm.

Of course, the weirdest part of the day had to be when one of those tentacles felt something not just brushing against it, but gently wrapping around and squeezing. The sensation of alien flavored, yet strangely familiar Worship clued me in to who or what it was.

I Co-Located one of me there, Mimicking a Great Kraken as I did. I shouldn't have been surprised, but still was, when thoughts slipped into me without tentacles doing so. Chosen-Goddess.

Hey there. Didn't mean to interrupt, just wanted to make sure you were okay, didn't need anything.

Delivering-Request.

That didn't quite make perfect sense, although I realized right then that the Great Kraken in front of me looked subtly different to the Keeper and the ones I'd seen before. Not, like, different species different, but definitely something along the lines of differing ethnicity, maybe differing language. Which Blend should take care of, but as I'd recently been thinking about alien perspectives, I realized that some thoughts, translated as well as they could be, might still be a little wonky.

But they stretched out their tentacles, opened their siphon, and upon seeing that I did the same...

...a shadow flowed across the surface, blotting out the source of warmth, the Goddess' conquered realm...

...a huge surface dweller clambered over the edge up to the floor, leaping upward toward the surface, tendrils streaming behind it...

...a relative of the Great Enemy surged through the water, laughing as it consumed most of a pod of Hunters in a single bite...

...a thing with too many limbs scuttled over the edge, chasing after the Kraken who saw it...

Scene after scene, a dozen in all, played out before the Kraken slipped away from me. I couldn't be sure, because Kraken weren't super good at telling human shaped things apart, but it looked like somewhere between six and a dozen kaiju had just entered the relatively shallow waters of the continental shelf. As I thanked the Kraken and collapsed back to myself, I realized two things, both of them equally disturbing.

First, the weird anxious feeling I'd been dealing with all night long, the funky not-rightness, now concentrated entirely on the tentacles along my eastern edge.

Second, and this wasn't as urgent, but threw me entirely off my groove, because somehow I felt I'd realized it before, and the deja vu was not doing my sense of not being alien any favors. I recognized the weird, alien flavor of the Worship that Great Kraken blasted me with as I left, and continued to blast my nearby tentacle with. It tasted just exactly like my old psychotropic tadpole buddies, specifically the ones who would nibble my toes when I lay along the beach in my dreams. Only now I was awake and aware enough to feel one of them doing it.

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