Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Day Eight Hundred And Thirty-Three


Dear Diary,

While I may have remembered that we, and by we I mean the expanding circles of trust around me, starting with my immediate family living at the Homestead, expanding to include both my Worshippers and close friends like the younger generations of Lancasters, and stretching to encompass the Alliance as a whole, have allies, I kinda forgot something.

Our allies, whether ones I mostly trust like Muscogee, or ones I trust as far as I can throw like the Deities of Boltophsberg, do not have Saffron. To be clear, 'as far as I can throw' is not some kind of code for not trusting them. I'm not sure exactly how far I can throw something, but given that when its not coated in Cold Iron I can lift a seventy thousand ton battleship like it ain't no thing, I'm pretty sure I could throw any of Boltophsberg's Deities into space. A low, decaying orbit, at the very least. To be honest, I think part of why I can trust them is that they absolutely know that there's none of them that I can't manhandle if I need to, which means none of them are gonna do shit they know I'm likely to find out about that will piss me off.

Trust issues aside, my Kitten is the Imperator, and her ability to set a goal, make a plan, organize shit in support of that plan, and execute that plan is kinda awe inspiring to me. I think it makes my panties bunch up in a good way that while she enjoys her job, it's not the power itself that she enjoys. I know, it might seem like that at first glance, but she very deliberately let Tallulah set the System Spell in place Globally. Yeah, some part of that was tying the Spell to an immortal being who can tweak it as needed, and more, which I'm kinda awed and embarrassed and touched by in equal measure, was making sure that at least one of my partners is as likely to survive in the long run as I am. But I realized at some point between then and now that she very likely could have done both Spells that night, and what with just the new Status Spell making her Archmage Title Legendary, doing both might very well have catapulted her straight into Demigoddess territory.

I'm not sure if she avoided that because if she had to give up being Imperator whoever replaced her wouldn't be as focused on making things better for everybody, especially in the 'nobody left behind' sense, if she avoided it because she really loves her job, or some secret third thing I'm unaware of motivated her. I am sure that she avoided it deliberately. I am also sure that at some point in the distant future, when the Alliance is fully at peace and any remaining Gods are focused more on making their Worshippers love them more rather than fear them more, I am so gonna steal that woman away, either turn her into a Demigoddess or make her come so hard her Soul pops out, then spend the rest of eternity with her in that cottage by the sea.

But as I said, our Allies don't have a Saffron. Which is, I guess, why they're not really the major political force in Atlantis now. It also is kinda silly to say, because 'oh, they don't have a teleporting super-genius who organizes shit for fun' isn't really as big of a flex as you might think.

I got a first hand demonstration of how that plays out yesterday as I went to contact the Alliance's allies. Which might wind up being weird, with them being 'allies', but not part of the Alliance, but given my Tiny Tyrant's desire to eventually have them ask to join us as one big happy family, I'm not gonna worry too much about that.

Huh. I remember that day Saffron talked with the refugees about that back in the bath at Lancaster House when she talked about 'putting people in their place', and I realized, she kinda did right then. She's like, uber-mom of the Alliance. Organizes everything, shows up wherever she's needed, knows everything. Shit, her first big appearance was when she literally ended a battle with her shoe.

At any rate, Muscogee is absolutely an organizational shitshow. That's not really the diss that it sounds like, because the reason they're an organizational shitshow, specifically, is that they're not an organization. They're more of a culture than a nation. An interconnected cosmopolitan culture, really, because it really feels somehow like the First Peoples of the East Coast of Atlantis who weren't offed by Sengann, wound up either intermarrying with Europan immigrants or moving in with the Muscogee folks.

Compton isn't disorganized, but they definitely don't have anything like our potential rapid transit or communication. Which I guess is sort of more me than Saffron, but still. I wound up sitting around there talking with the Yakky while waiting for the Mansa to show up. Still, the food there is absolutely top notch shit. Hot, and I'm talking spicy hot to a degree that I kinda wanna nom some milk and bread afterward. Which, wonder of wonders, they actually have bread pudding there. Not my favorite, but after the kind of heat that their cuisine brings, the sweet and soothing from that is better than ice cream.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

That leaves Boltophsberg. From what I read in the Marshall's brief, and the vibe I got from him during their constitutional convention, Vyenemoinen is in fact a chess master like Saffron. Unfortunately, where the Alliance started with Saffron and Lancaster fully allied and behind the idea of making the thing work, not to mention Mrs. Driver and George backing whatever play Saffron suggested they back, which kinda roped Ophelia into buying in or getting frozen out, Vyenemoinen doesn't really seem to have anybody he considers an ally. Not really.

Okay, maybe Baba Yaga. Which is weird, yeah, but something about how he knew where to bring me when he masqueraded as V to get a read on me tells me the two of them are not exactly enemies. Maybe frenemies, maybe rivals, maybe just deep, deep, deep cover allies, but I don't think either of them plots against the other except in a kind of 'keep the wits sharp' kind of way.

Because holy shit there is nobody else up there who qualifies as 'sharp witted' by my standards. Yeah, I think Vyenemoinen could probably outmaneuver Lancaster, and very definitely Ophelia, but I'm not sure he could do that to Tallulah, and of course I'd bet on Saffron in any kind of battle of wits.

I was reminded forcibly of that when Lemonkyenin met me at the edge of the docks, right before I stepped onto the waterfront, puffed out his chest and said, "couldn't stay away, I see!"

I sighed. "Look, Lemmy, I'm kind of on a mission at the moment. Is your boss around?"

He puffed up bigger. "You mean my rival?"

I shook my head. Rolled my eyes. Fuck it, I was in a mood. I reached out with a tentacle and patted him on the head. "Yeah, sure Lemmy. Can you take him a message for me? It might be really important, and it's also maybe urgent."

"I am no one's messenger boy!"

I sighed again, shook my head. "You realize I'm kinda pent up, right? On edge? Not in the mood to banter?"

Y'know, I'd never really realized how much 'swagger' and 'sashay' had in common until he swaggered up to me. "So, we just fuck then?"

I couldn't help it. I snagged him with one arm, spun him around in a full three sixty to get both his arms behind him, and pulled him to my side. He leaned in, but I put one finger on his forehead and said, "Do. Not. Move." Then stepped us both to Vyenemoinen's Palace.

Credit where it's due, Vyenemoinen responded nigh instantly, stepping out of the front doors of the Palace within seconds of my arrival. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Given that he totally ignored the struggling Lemmy in my arms, not to mention how he had what amounted to robe and slippers on, I said, "have you heard about the berserk Jotnar-Titan Hybrids that have been attacking the coastline?"

If he hadn't, he sure as shit kept his cool well. "I had not received any official notice of such, but I had wondered about some odd tides recently."

"Yeah, probably that big bird one hitting the surface. She splashed hard." I had to slip my finger back and forth to keep Lemmy from getting his mouth any closer to me. I dunno why he didn't say anything, but maybe he thought I was hiding him, or thought that because he couldn't see Vyenemoinen behind him Vyenemoinen couldn't see him.

"Are any likely to make landfall near here?"

I shrugged. "No fuckin' clue, man. Just figured I'd swing past and let you know, just in case one does. Maybe put some guys out on the peninsula with signal fires, just in case?"

Vyenemoinen pursed his lips. "We've men there already, helping with the watchtowers the Imperator requested we allow her to build."

"Okay then, so just let them know to keep an eye out, and give them some way to let you know. They're 'really tall' fast, not 'Pyevatar tryna get home before dark' fast." Vyenemoinen frowned, and I remembered. "Oh, hey, let her know I owe her one for the other day, okay? Have somebody send a message and I'll meet her when she wants to talk it out."

He nodded. "Generous of you. Might I ask...?"

He hadn't acknowledged Lemmy's presence other than that, so I shrugged and said, "can I borrow him for a little bit? I've got some tension to work off."

He shook his head, but said, "I'll let the others know we'll need someone else to stand watch for the moment. Thank you for the warning."

"No worries. Let me know if you need any help with anything!"

I stepped the two of us to that vast undulating field in M-Space, dropped Lemmy, and stepped far enough away that I had a few moments while he got his footing. "Okay, ground rules. I'm not gonna get special mad if you try to cop a feel or any dumb shit like that, but this is gonna be full contact, so expect some broken fingers if you waste time doing that shit. Ready?"

He drew himself up. "Why would I spar with a woman who will only erase the evidence of my valor when I am done?"

I shook my head. "Okay, I promise not to Heal any wounds below the neck. Might do some heavy duty Stabilizing, but that won't prevent scarring, just keep you from dying from excessive stupid."

He frowned. "I still see no reason for us to fight. We are allies, are we not?"

I shook my head. "Spar, Lemmy. Full contact, yeah, but I'm not looking to do unto you, not really. Both of us walk away when I'm done." He still look unconvinced, so I said, "fine. You need motivation. How's this; if you're still standing when I'm done, or when I have to leave to deal with incoming kaiju, you get one," I held up one finger. "Kiss."

Yeah, I've put up stupider bribes. Still, his next word was, "done!" and he said it as he came at me swinging.

So that was my day. Watching tourist trap 'true story' plays in Muscogee City, gossiping and eating with the Yakky in Compton, standing watch atop the Black Dragon's mast, and going toe to toe with Lemmy all fuckin' day long.

Fuck it, he's very pretty. Might give him that kiss even if he's unconscious when I'm done letting off steam.

Might not wake him up to do it, though.

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