Dear Diary,

"Don't escalate to murder, But clear, present danger to, Agency Justifies it." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Justified Homicide

When Tabitha tells us not to escalate to murder in this Verse, she is making it clear that we are not to add mortal threat to a situation where it was not previously. She is not a Goddess of Murder, despite the title of 'Homicide'. Her Domain is contained within the subset of killing Justified by threats. She clarifies as well what is the core of the sole Justification for Homicide. When Agency is threatened, and per the last Verse, no other response will prevent it from being diminished, that is when Homicide is Justified. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

What kind of an idiot am I that I just now realized that 'Justified Homicide' is a rhyme? Seriously, I'm not sure if I realized that before, or if I mentioned it, but at this point I can't remember doing either one. I am in no way fuckin' qualified to be a Goddess writing a Holy Text when I can't reliably do Kindergarten level phonetics. But then, I guess that ship has sailed.

I definitely have never been more thankful for Saffron coming along behind me and cleaning up my mess. Fuck, she's not just doing that, she's turning it into an actual book with morals and logical arguments and life advice and all that good shit. I have no idea what I did to deserve her, but whatever it was, I really think I still won the romance lottery. Like, nothing I've done justifies a brilliant, driven, beautiful, sexy woman like that being with me. No way, no how, nope, nope, nope.

Of course, it's just more proof that I'm not exactly the greatest of Deities, even here and now, that I absolutely am not gonna give her up. Nope. Somebody tries to take her away, I'm gonna duct tape their ass to the tentacle nearest The Morrigan for a couple days, then come back and see if they're still gonna choose the path of pain and suffering. Stupid pain and suffering, too, because even though this surprises me more than anyone, I'm fully willing to share my tiny tyrant, whether I'm talking about long term sharing like I do with Marie and Siobhan. Also with Tallulah now, I guess, which makes me feel a little bad that I didn't remember her as part of the list to begin with, but also makes me feel good in that I have absolutely no compunctions about adding her to that list. I'm also totally willing to share the way I have with Lily, Linus, or Lachlan.

Lotta people with L names getting all up in my fun sized führerin's business. Then again, most of them have done the same with me, and the only long term side effect on either of us has maybe been some carpal tunnel from repetitive hand motions. The only change in our relationship has been me realizing exactly how fuckin' hot she is. Weird, but honestly without a whole assed mirrored room, which yes, I know we have one but that's not the point, it's a little difficult to see exactly how sexy your partner looks while doing the deed. I mean, yeah, you can get one angle, but even with all those mirrors, I miss a lot of it. I'm... a little distracted while that shit's happening. Like, either we're playing co-op and she's distracting me, or I'm doing unto her and totally focused on what I'm doing, which oddly enough can preclude observing the natural and divine work of art that is Saffron climactic.

Yeah, little bit on the brain at the moment. The past twenty four has been more than a little like that.

So yesterday after everybody had a good laugh about Isadora deciding turnabout is fair play and nomming Bonnie's boobs, Mrs. Driver and Saffron brought dinner up for everybody. Crepes and whipped cream; I'd never seen Mama Driver in the kitchen at Drivers', so I was kinda surprised that she knew how to make those. Stupid of me, but i guess they've been running Drivers' long enough that they have plenty of experience doing each other's jobs. Which left me giggling thinking about Mr. Driver in a waitress uniform, but I decided not to tell anybody about that. Especially Saffron, even though I'm pretty sure she knew what I was giggling about anyway. I swear that woman will not be satisfied until she's crawled up in me and run me around like some kind of powered armor suit.

But after dinner everybody split up a little to do their own thing. Not, like, everybody everybody. Saffron drafted Linus and Lachlan into taking the dishes back down to the kitchen. Liam and the girls wound up 'playing with the kittens', which amounted to combing them, snuggling them, and most importantly for purposes of bribing me into not worry about the combing and snuggling, changing diapers. Apparently Lindsey of all people knows the Mom Origami Magic trick. I need to ask her about that at some point, but right now I'm not opening that particular can of worms. Bonnie and Larry had another pair with them along with Lucas, who had decided that our kittens made the very best cuddle buddies. Mrs. Driver and Sigyn sat facing one another, a pair of kittens between them, helping them squirm around and discussing how shit like Divinity and Human Adjacency affected developmental milestones.

Loki, best Dad and Grandad that he is, spent most of the evening carrying one kitten a time from group to group, trading them back and forth. He also took over swapping kittens from Marie to me, and both of us were almost half asleep after a huge dinner and all the feeding.

Right about then, as I drifted in a pleasant haze, I got the full sensory feed from my Kitten and the himbos, who'd retired to the Bedroom. Mirrors good.

You could come watch, you know.

Gotta feed the kittens, though?

Yeah, I was more energetic than I had been, thanks to Diana leading the Temple Congregation in some really intense remote Worship, but I still wasn't firing on all cylinders. I realized that when she replied, Co-Locate?

Yeah. That divan is absolutely perfect for spectating. Kinda funny, while Linus is some prime beefcake, and probably Stronger than most Heroes even without being more than a Cadet himself, he's apparently not got the Endurance Lachlan and Saffron do. Even funnier was the absolute bro-thankful look he gave me when he stumbled over to the divan, thumped down next to me like he was done for the night, then was the recipient of a very special Stabilize. I mean, Lachlan's a great guy, but Saffron was in a mood, and I absolutely will not leave my lovely Kitten unfulfilled when it's in my power to fulfill her desires.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Midway through the night, when everybody else in the bedroom had been asleep for a couple hours at least, Saffron swayed over to me, leaving the boys panting on the bed. "So, love. Are you ready to take a turn?"

I snorted. "Don't think I could really focus on it properly all Co-Located."

She leaned in and kissed me, the taste of her mouth definitely making that whole becoming what I beheld far more appealing. Then she pulled away and said, "haven't been paying super close attention to the bedroom, have you?"

That's about when I realized that for the first time in days, I had zero kittens attached to me at the tit. I leaned to her ear and whispered, "kinda wanna spend some alone time with you, though?"

She whispered back, "oh, we will, never fear. But for now I think it best if one of us is, ah, less engaged. Besides, we've guests over for just this purpose."

I pulled back and looked her in the eye. "Really?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "You don't mind, do you?"

I kissed her again, then whispered into her lips, "why would I mind?"

She chuckled, flopped back onto the divan, then pushed me to my feet and gave me a gentle shove toward the Bed. Collapsing into myself, I reached out, lay a hand on each of my buddies, and said, "you guys don't mind an encore, do you ?"

As they lit up, literally, from the Mana I poured into them, Lachlan laughed and said, "a gentleman never leaves his hostess unsatisfied."

Yeah, that motherfucker is smooth as shit when it comes to rizz. After... I'm not sure how long, but the sun was due up soon, I was completely distracted, and Saffron whispered into my brain, do you mind if I borrow your office, love?

Huh? Sure.

Kinda weird, I'm not sure if I really felt the sun rise this morning, or if the boys' timing was just perfect and distracted me, or the sunrise made their timing even better. As I laid my head on Carruthers' shoulder, panting out, "that was fuckin' awesome, you two. Thanks," the mischievous part of me thought about conning them into kissing or some other kind of live action yaoi stuff. I hadn't gotten enough time to decide whether my intent was innocent gremlin naughtiness, creating images for spank bank storage, or throwing some gasoline onto the currently smoldering embers of my libido when a sudden growling from the divan made both of my guys tense up.

I turned to see a very un-saggy Marie sitting there, Saffron grinning at me from beside her. I rolled my eyes. "I'd ask who's watching the kittens, but we've got like all the moms in the world in the bedroom right now. Also, you could have told me you were gonna do a Sparagmos on her."

She shrugged, impish smile undiminished. "Yes, but then you would have spent the limited time we have doing silly things like arguing with me or worrying, rather than losing yourself to hours of unmitigated pleasure provided by our friends here." I rolled my eyes and nodded, realized I was slipping a little as the boys exhaustion caught up with them, and braced myself, gave them each a quick kiss on the cheek, and then realized that Marie had the same look in her eyes that I'd had a few hours earlier, and Saffron had a few hours before that.

I cleared my throat to pull their attention from Marie, then asked, "so. You gentlemen ready to go a third round with Marie?"

Lachlan tried to save poor Carruthers. "I'm not sure we're up to..." I pulled him around by the ears and dropped a Stabilize into his tonsils.

Then I turned to Linus. "Scared? it's okay if you are. Marie is a lot. Which, to be clear, I love, but she is." He nodded, eyes flickering over to her. I also was in the unique position to realize how much his terror did not stop his interest in the slightest. "You want to anyway?" He nodded hesitantly. "Or do you want to because?" Some part of his brain obviously short circuited at trying to parse that, so I pulled his face around to look into his eyes, sang, "that makes it even better!" Then did unto him as I'd done unto Lachlan.

Then I dismounted, walked over to Marie, pulled her to her feet, ran a hand across her belly, said, "lookin' good, Murder Mittens," before I pulled her down and kissed her as well. I might even have goosed her a little when I finished and gave her a gentle shove toward the boys. I flopped down next to Saffron, ready for the here and now version of Netflix and chill with my wife, only to be horribly disappointed.

"Sorry, love, but we really do need to be getting back. Everyone's waking up, including our little ones."

She pulled me to the showers, and we set a speed record for going from extra funky to damp and clean. Sadly without any of the chill part of Netflix and chill. Then we hopped down to the bedroom, where Mrs. Driver and Bonnie had arrived with a shit ton more crepes, these with fruit and honey. I blinked when I saw Marie lying there with half a dozen kittens attached. At that point Saffron chuckled and whispered in my ear, "her Co-Location prohibition has been lifted, love. Or did you forget?"

"Well. Shit. When... wait..." I looked at Marie as Saffron handed me Erato and Borysthenis. "Are you feeling up to the Academy, Murder Mittens?"

She just snickered at me. "Already Am."

I blinked. "You sure? I don't want you overdoing it, Marie. I love you too much to want you hurting yourself."

She just ran her claws across the kittens nursing on her, smiling softer than I thought possible given her dentition, and said, "I Won't." Then she reached out, tugged me over to her, and kissed me. Vlickies.

With that in mind, I got a little sad as I pulled Saffron down to sit behind me. "I take it you're going back to work as well?"

She shrugged. "I'm a little too focused here to make much progress on testing my new Inspect, but the Grand Council needs its Imperator."

I pouted at Marie. "You're back to watching over her?" I swear I heard her giggle in my head when she nodded. "Sorry. I was enjoying having you all to myself."

"Jealous?"

I shook my head, smiled at her. "Nah. Just greedy."

That's when I noticed that Larry was chatting quietly with Loki, and got a sudden bout of inspiration. "Hey, Larry? Dad?"

"Commander?"

"Yes, Daughter?"

I smiled at the two of them sort of talking over one another without thinking about it or doing any kind of slapstick routine about doing so. "It's been a couple days since I was in any kind of shape to take the girls outside, and the weather's been really nice. Would you two mind taking them, and Liam, and maybe any of the Homestead kids who want to go outside and do some riding, or gliding, or whatever else?"

The two of them shared one of those guy looks, nodded, then Larry turned to me and said, "we'd love to, Commander." Then he turned to the girls, who were all still finishing breakfast, and asked, "so, ladies, what would you like to do today?"

Yeah, any moron who worried about the future of Lancaster House, most especially the Lancaster line itself? Need. Not. Worry. Once they've had a rectal craniectomy, the Lancaster men are dangerously smooth and rizzful.

...And my daughter's already claimed one. Dammit.

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