Dear Diary,

"Agency, Egalitarianism, Redemption, Consent, Equality, Restoration, Try, Evaluate, Retry." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Introduction

"The Doctrine of Tabitha, written by our Goddess herself in the midst of her greatest struggle yet for identity, was written to help those of us who follow her to know both why she chose the paths she did and how we can best emulate and please her in our own lives. In this, the first verse of the Doctrine of Tabitha Diaz, Patron Deity of the Inter-City Alliance of Atlantis, Our Goddess clearly states her three most treasured values; Agency, the right to choose one's fate, Egalitarianism, the belief that all people deserve fair treatment, and Redemption, the act of improving by overcoming ones flaws, mistakes, or even history. She goes on to repeat those values in other words, both as an attempt to affirm them and, in a very real way, an attempt to Redeem herself, for without fail our Goddess remembers her Mortal roots, and knows that she too must improve, must do better than she has in the past. Respect of Consent, the core of Agency, Equality of value, the core of Egalitarianism, and Restoration of self-worth, the core of Redemption. The final line of this verse emphasizes Tabitha's focus on Redemption, both by laying out in the simplest of terms how to seek improvement, while also reiterating her core values in even simple terms. Agency: to Try is to strive in whatever manner one chooses. Egalitarianism: to Evaluate both ourselves and our efforts is required to determine if our efforts were successful, and Redemption, to Retry is to make another effort, to be better than the time before." - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Yeah. Wow. My gob has been fully smacked.

Yesterday, after all the bonfire jumping and dancing both vertical and, once the kids went to bed, horizontal, which was done right out on the fuckin' roof, which is a weird kind of tradition but one I can get behind, we all slept late. Like, really super late, we woke up in the afternoon. By all the smug smiles as everybody gathered in the dining room to browse through the leftovers from yesterday, plenty of folks had taken our rooftop shenanigans as inspiration for their own nocturnal explorations.

I left Tallulah watching the kids and Saffron pampering Siobhan, who insisted on joining in and was paying for it, and hit the kitchen with Marie. We whipped up like half a dozen different variations on the general theme of 'meat in pastry'. Bear meat, because of course it was, but I'd realized that if you work with one thing long enough, you start getting good with it. Yeah, it still wound up a little gamey, but 'gamey' is just strong meat flavor. You gotta either lean into that flavor, surround it with equally strong flavors, or maybe both. So dinner tonight we had dumplings, both Asian and European, some things I think were 'perogies', but I'm not sure, and like three different variations on meat pies. One with bear pate in flaky pastry, another with bear chunks and veggies in a mashed potato crust, and then pot pies that reminded me of those cheap assed supermarket one dollar pot pies, only good.

After Marie and I brought out dinner, with Tallulah and the girls helping deliver and hand out servings for stuff that needed it, Saffron corralled me at our table and hit me with, well, a tome. Two of them, really, although they'd clearly been designed and created as a matched set. Both of them had thick embossed leather covers with symbols and runes that teased at meaning without actually having any. I guess that kind of thing appealed to a certain type of person who liked fancy books, and I appreciated the artwork, but the contents of books always appealed to me more than the presentation.

Of course neither of them had an actual title or anything on them. Had to hide my eye roll at that.

The smaller of the two books actually nested into the front cover of the larger one. I carefully teased it free, opened it, and froze at the words, 'Doctrine of Tabitha' in fancy illuminated letters. There were vines and gold leaf and animals and shit. "This... This is beautiful," I breathed.

"Fitting, then." Saffron snuggled into me, draping herself around me, careful not to jostle my arms or get between me and my book. Books.

After a quick page through the smaller one showed me that each and every Verse had its own page, with illustrations just as fancy as the title page, I closed it and slipped it back into the cover of the larger book. I opened that one, and while the illumination was limited to the first letter of each page, the scrollwork around the edges wound up no less beautiful. The first page read 'Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha, by Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz'. Only made sense that they'd only illuminated one letter per page, what with there being a lot more letters on each page. I flipped through it, just to confirm that my suspicion held true; each 'commentary' started with one Verse, followed by anywhere from paragraphs to pages of explanation by my brilliant little Kitten.

I closed it, my hand protectively laid across it, then turned to where Saffron peeked over my shoulder. I kissed her cheek, then whispered, "it's beautiful."

"You said that already."

I snorted a little. "Bears repeating. You did this for me?" She nodded. "Are you gonna start giving these out, too?"

She smiled at me. "No. Well, not as such. Each of your Clergy get a much simpler copy. No gold leaf, less illumination."

"Easier to read, though."

She snorted. "Rather. But your High Clergy will all be given one like this."

"So this is, what, one of only six in the world or something?"

She shook her head, smiling at me. "No, love. Rather fewer have been given out as of yet. But many more were made."

Sudden tension, almost fear, gripped at me. "Why?"

"Because each of your High Clergy will be given one at their Ordination, love."

"I... But... More High Clergy?"

She nodded again, her arms around me supporting and comforting me even as her words terrified me in ways I couldn't really put words to. "You set conditions. Trials. Some have begun them. Others have begun preparing to take them."

"I mean, I guess if Karen wants to put her Priestesses through Trials before... That's totally not what you meant, and how the fuck did you get Conrad to agree to his part of those Trials?"

"Who do you think made these books, love?"

I snorted. "Oh, please. How exactly is this going to taunt me with my own horndog nature?"

She shrugged, which ignited aforementioned nature as it moved her magnificent mammaries across my back. "Mayhap he's decided you're a worthy Matriarch, and deserve more High Clergy to do your bidding." I shot her all the side eye, and she grinned. "Or perhaps he knows how much I've enjoyed these past three months of you showing your faithful exactly how wonderful my wife is."

My train of thought jackknifed at that. "Uh, weren't you envious of them?"

She nodded, still grinning. "Oh, yes. Definitely. Not feeling too much envy at the moment, though. Not after last night. Besides, my envy is assuaged by copious amounts of one of my other favorite things."

"Which is?"

"Being told that my opinions on a matter are objectively correct."

That got me. I snerked, snorted, and curled protectively around my new favorite book as I quaked with a giggle fit. Which prompted much jiggling across my back. When it passed, I managed to whisper out, "yeah, okay, but who's gonna be crazy enough to go through all that?"

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

She snuggled into my neck and whispered, "at present I know of three who seek the crystal wedding dress and the commentary tome. Two more who wish to, but are waiting to recover from some medical conditions before attempting their Trials."

I didn't let her nibbling at my neck distract me. Much. "Who?"

"I would rather not say, lest they fail and fall, for you might be prejudiced against them afterward, though I know you would try not to be. But you did send one."

"Madeline?"

"Just so."

I sighed. Karen?

Yes, Goddess?

Could you maybe make sure Madeline doesn't off herself? Like, don't force her not to, but maybe give her some direction, some therapy? Especially if she fails her Trials?

I'm ever more certain she won't, but I shall see to it she has things to live for, things to occupy her time, pass or fail, my Goddess.

Thanks, Karen. "Remind me to do something nice for her? At Yule, maybe?"

"Hmm... perhaps giving her a position of nigh unbridled power and pleasure second only to my own?"

Yeah, my brain wasn't gonna be functioning at anything like full capacity any time soon. Story of my life. Yeah, totally crying big tears. "I was thinking maybe a fruit basket or something."

That got my Kitten. She giggled her way down my back until she literally lay on the ground, clutching her middle, laughing at my stupid attempt at humor. She looked up at me when it died down. "Do you like them, love?"

I clutched my new tomes to my chest. "Yes, Kitten. Love them. Wish we had a proper bookshelf."

"I'd be honored if you put them with the one you salvaged from the Black Dragon." When I looked surprised, she said, "it's where you store all the books so dear to your heart." Then she smirked and peeked under my skirt. "Or you could put it on the headboard, where you store the books so dear to your nether regions." I was about to snark something about that, but then she hummed those seven notes, and I clenched up just thinking about my ladies singing all the Verses of my Doctrine right into my brain hole. "We really should do that again some time soon."

"Yeah, maybe when I've got a few days to recover after."

"I was thinking we should make it a monthly thing." I choked on nothing. "Or perhaps weekly?" I whined in fearful anticipation. "Wait, no, we can welcome you back from your Revelry!"

"You're gonna kill me," I wheezed out.

"You love it, you know it," she murmured, scaling my side, planting little kisses as she did.

My eyes fluttered shut. "Yeah, my tombstone?" She murmured something into my elbow as she kissed it. "Saffron. Always Saffron."

"Don't you think the others will be envious?" she whispered to me.

I sighed. "Yeah. Probably. I'm a sh..." She silenced me with a kiss. The dual tome lived on the headboard for the night, because she didn't let me leave to return it to the crappy little bookshelf until morning.

I yawned, stretched, and looked at the bed as she crawled into it, finding her spot among seven girls and three adult women of varying sizes. "Better get back to work."

"Doing what?" she murmured.

"Teaching?"

She smiled, held out her hands, and whispered, "Season break?"

Slept very late again. Dreamt of my ladies trying to dress Saffron up in the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown. Trying, because every time they neared completion I absolutely lost control and ate her as she screamed out utterly uninhibited laughter and splashed through my maw in an explosion of joy.

Found Devorah waiting for me when I got down to the kitchen to start prepping stuff for when Marie was ready to start dinner. She held out a shot glass, a single bottle clutched to her side.

"Does your mead give scumble a run for its money, or do you just want me to fake being drunk?" I smiled to let her know I was fine with either as I took the shot glass and slowly, carefully, sipped about half of it into my mouth and let it simmer on my tongue.

"I... I had a favor to ask of you, Champion."

My eyes might have bulged a little, because while the honey flavor was good, and the mead definitely had some other fruity flavors, not to mention some herbs and spices, it had a raw alcohol kick I normally associated with high proof rum. "Hoo. Think that's a yes on the high proof of your mead." I nodded, smiled to let her know I wasn't upset in any way, and said, "Ask."

"I... My first batch of Mead is done. Technically. Some of it is... deliberately more potent than others."

I grinned at her, held out a hand, let her lay her cheek against it. "So, you really do intend to get me drunk?"

"You requested that, Champion." She smiled wryly. "I know I'm not, ah, up to your normal standards..."

"Shut right the fuck up right the fuck now, Devorah." I kept my voice light, but firm. "Don't ever talk like that about yourself. I was mostly joking when I said that. Mostly. I... I maybe thought you'd need to be a little wasted to get with somebody with as much scar tissue as I've got. But I'm suddenly aware that self-image issues suck, and I will not be a party to your having them."

She looked up at me, suddenly surprisingly shy. "So you'd have me as I am, as we are now?"

"Is it After?"

"Technically, yes."

I nodded. "Well. If that's really what you want? I'll whisk you away to my Bedroom right now, and not stop until you or the holiday are done, whichever come first."

Her breath got a little ragged at that, but she whispered, "but what do you want?"

I smiled, jostled her just enough that she opened her eyes to see my face, see my sincerity. "I want to taste your mouth with your finest mead on your lips, on your tongue, with the taste of ripe honey on my own. I want to experience you, all of you, not just your body, but the height of your Skills racing through both of us," my brain caught the echoes of Kitten giggles. "Suffusing all of us as we experience the finest parts of you." I pulled her close, and she moved with nothing but my palm on her cheek, her lips parting as our faces neared. Then I turned her so my lips brushed her ear. "After which we will gorge ourselves on every bit of you, right down to the dregs, too drunk for any inhibition to even try to stop us."

She swallowed, hard. Then, in a voice that tried to be firm but wound up about as firm as good flan, whispered, "that's' what I wanted to ask you about. Ask you to," she gasped out the word, "indulge," before continuing, "me."

"Go on," I murmured directly into her ear. Her hair tasted of honey where my lips brushed against it, and I suddenly had a need to find out what else tasted of honey after her working day in, day out with it for so long.

"My Mead is better after aging a bit."

"Just like you."

I grinned into her ear as her words gained an edge, a whine like overstressed machinery. "Please let me age this batch, the batch I made for you, properly. Let it be the best Mead I can possibly make you, as well as the strongest?"

I turned her back to face me. Let her see the hunger she'd sparked in my eyes. "A couple days ago I had to lift Jackville. You want me at my strongest? At my best?"

She gulped. "Yes?"

"You sure you're gonna survive that?"

She grinned up at me, some spark of pure Devorah surfacing. "I'm sure I'm not. I'm also sure I won't be in any position to care, and even if I was I wouldn't want to stop. Besides..."

I waited a moment, then asked, "besides what?"

"Won't we both be too drunk to have any inhibitions about that?"

"If your mead is half as good as your game, I'm gonna do bad things." She just grinned. "I'm gonna keep Revving you until I've had my gluttonous fill of Devorah." Her eyes sparkled, wide with eager anticipation. "Gonna keep doing that until all of us are full of Devorah." I think she'd started vibrating, which normally would make her jiggly bits jiggle more, but some of them seemed to have gotten a little bit stiff. "Gonna do that until Marie passes out, even."

She managed to whine out, "please?"

"Is that, 'please, sweep me away now and have your way with me', or 'please, let me go start aging my Mead'?"

"Yes, please?"

I laughed, listening to the echoes of it come back from her. "Oh, no. I'm gonna be mean. Pick one." She opened her mouth, but absolute evil took over my mouth for a second. "I'm gonna head to the Bedroom with my Kitten either way the moment you choose." Her eyes bulged a little, and that overstressed machinery whine started up again. "Choose."

"I want both."

"I know. Chose."

"You could give me both."

"I could. Choose."

She pouted at me. "I could choose now, then get you drunk when the Mead is done and have you then anyway."

I nodded. "Oh, you could. You could, and we would take you like an avalanche, leave you gasping in a pool of sweat, wondering where the week has gone." I paused a beat. "But you can only have one first time with us, and I swear to you, if you wait? If you bring your finest? We absolutely will do the same, and that avalanche will be made of fire and ice and storm, and you may well never recover, never stop gasping," I paused, chuckled as I realized I wasn't kidding about the Kitten in the Bedroom, because she was there, impatiently waiting while she pondered our toy collection. "Never walk right again."

"Fuck."

"Is that a request?"

She wept, smiling, "No. Well, yes, but not now. I'm going to go finish my Mead."

"No you're not." Her eyes got wide. "You're going to go play with the toy you still haven't returned." Her mouth dropped open. "The one I, and thus all my High Clergy, can feel when it's used." She whimpered. "You're gonna do that while thinking about what Saffron and I are doing at the exact same time." I had her panting now, and I was cruel and awful and holy shit my Wife was fixated on my words, maybe drooling and pre gaming a bit. "Then, exhausted, your hands still sticky with sweat and... Other things, you'll go and do whatever needs to be done with those special bottles of mead you're setting aside for us, imagining that we'll be able to taste that when we finally consume them. And you. To. The. Dregs."

She shuddered. "I thought you said we would wait for the first time."

I laughed, spun her around, and gave her both a soft slap and a gentle shove on the ass. "Oh, that's all just foreplay. For when your mead is done."

She wheezed out a chuckle. "I'm gonna die."

"And live to tell the tale, and walk away smug as shit afterward."

"I'm... I'm not sure I really need to right now," she muttered as she staggered toward the door.

I snapped my fingers, and she turned to look at me. I stared her right in the eyes and sang seven syllables. "Gonna play with my Kitten." I stood there, letting her watch my eyes as I shuddered to stillness, then stepped up to the Bedroom.

Yeah, Marie had to make dinner herself.

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