DAY 632

"Greetings, Master Doorman. We have returned from our journeys in order to report on our progress."

Doorman raises a wooden eyebrow as he looks over the group in front of him, surprised in particular by the tone of voice coming from the bowing man at the lead. "Greetings to you as well, Prince Worthy. I knew we'd see you again, although to be honest I wasn't sure if it would even be this year or not. From the sounds of it I'd say progress was made, however."

The door can't help but notice that the man has one more arm than he had the last time Doorman saw him, although it's hard to say if it's much at all the same as his old one. Instead his left arm appears to be covered in some sort of metal sleeve, coated in plates and tight-woven chainmail, which is notable considering the man isn't currently wearing any other armor. The rest of his party looks rather the same as they did half a year ago, save for the imp Tizzy, who seems to have given up on using a magical goblin disguise and now presents herself as her purple-skinned self. Behind them stand the remains of his followers; with the orc warrior Nalain, the dark elf mage Hylii, and the human fencer Reed filling out the group. That does surprise Doorman a little, as he wouldn't have laid bets on the entire party returning as a single group after everything they had been through together.

"Some, yes, although I'm sure I still have far to go. For that matter, there's no need to call me by my royal title. I've set that aside until I feel deserving of it once again." Thaddeus stands back up straight and looks Doorman in the eye - title or not, while he may have been humbled, the man still retains at least some of his noble dignity. "Even so, I wouldn't want Xenia to believe that I'd abandoned the task she set me on, and so I thought it suitable for us to return for at least a time. Especially now that winter is passing and travel is easier again."

"I'm sure she'll be happy to hear what you've been up to - head on in to the inn on Floor Five, and someone will be there to meet you soon enough."

Tizzy lets out a surprised chuckle. "Not gonna make us do a riddle to get back in again?"

"Harumph, and tell Xenia I'd sent her family packing because my riddles were just too fearsome? Today, at least, I shall show some mercy."

Thaddeus gives the door a nod. "Much appreciated. I hope 'grandmother' is in a good mood of her own..."

Indeed, the party only has time for a single drink and a bit of a rest before a rabbit-eared waitress directs Thaddeus to a conference room, although to their surprise the group is informed that several others will be getting individual audiences of their own shortly. For now though Thaddeus makes his way into the unoccupied room on his own, and the man just barely manages to hide his surprise when he takes a seat and notices that Xenia herself is now sitting in the chair across the table from his. "Ah! Xenia - or, grandmother - I must admit, I haven't been entirely certain on how best I ought to refer to you."

Xenia smirks, amused at his formal discomfort. "I suppose there would be too many 'great's to tack on if we were being fully accurate, yeah? I definitely don't need that 'honored ancestor' stuff, I can say that. Eh, let's be honest - we're probably so many generations removed, you may as well just call me Xenia. Might not be the case for the others though. I'm glad everyone else came back, actually, I've been meaning to talk to Tizzy and Hylii about our relationship as well, even if I know I sure wasn't in the right mood for it last time around."

"Ah, about that." Thaddeus clears his throat and shifts in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. "We've, ah...investigated a few things, and as it turns out, Tizzy is not your granddaughter. Her mother and grandmother claimed the relationship, but it seems that it was only a claim and nothing more."

This particular turn in the conversation manages to surprise the dungeon master. "Oh really? Why'd you bother looking into that - and how, exactly?"

"Well..." The awkward man chooses to answer the second question first. "Hylii is of your line, as was Linda Cogswell, and we still had some of...her effects in our possession. We were able to acquire certain magical tests that showed that Hylii and Linda were related, but that Tizzy is related to neither. Hence, she is not related to you."

"I see...well, I guess that saves me some time, but why did that matter, again?"

"It was a trifling matter, really, completely unimportant in most respects. The Hero Xenon Worthy and Prince Xenon Darkstar may have been two men with the same soul - yours, of course - but by blood they were entirely different individuals. And Xenon Worthy is such a distant ancestor of mine that even if you did share the same blood across realms, we'd be extremely distant cousins at most - "

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Xenia cuts him off there with a laugh. "Ohoho! So you're dating, is that it? Well, I applaud you for double-checking I guess, but you're right, I don't think you'd be physically related in any meaningful sense even if she was my grandkid. Hope that works out for you, though."

Despite her approval, Thaddeus's discomfort hasn't faded a whiff. "Actually, we're not dating. And we are related. Now, that is." Xenia raises an eyebrow, and the man swallows before continuing. "...Two months ago we were wed, and became husband and wife."

That response leaves Xenia's jaw left completely hanging before she eventually manages to recover. "Married!? Well - shit, congrats, but damn, I didn't even get a postcard? I could've put on a real event for you two here, you know."

Thaddeus nods. "The thought did occur to us, but...to be honest, neither of us has the fondest memories of this place. While not everyone in our expedition was the closest of friends, there is still some grief over some of those who fell here. I suppose I should also say that Sevastion and Yulia remain...unpopular in the opinions of most of the party. As for sending a letter, well...delivery times in the midst of winter are slow, and Tizzy and I were...eager to proceed."

Xenia has to chuckle at the understatement. "I'm guessing so! So, I know you don't like the title any more, but technically this does make Tizzy a princess now, right? Not worried about how the folks back home will take it?"

The man nods again, but almost imperceptibly slowly. "To be honest, I could only think of reasons why it didn't matter. My reputation is already likely quite low, and besides, thinking of my family first, and what I consider to be our royal responsibilities, is what got us into this mess to begin with. It seemed that perhaps I ought to start considering what I want for myself, for once."

"And what you want is a little purple shortstack, eh?" Xenia leans back with a grin, clearly enjoying the way the question makes Thaddeus squirm in his seat.

"I'll admit, it's, ah...not the pairing I might have once imagined. But once we began, ah, courting, well...it's not as if we were starting off as strangers, you understand. We've been comrades in arms for quite some time by now, and she'd long since been one of my most important officers. Things just...became lit under a new light, I suppose. That and the knowledge of how close we'd come to death perhaps helped encourage us to...accelerate the courtship somewhat."

"Well, congrats, and I might wanna have a short chat with her about family stuff after all, it seems. And if you're looking for a place to start on a family, well, you sure picked the right inn."

The blood nearly drains from Thaddeus's face at that remark. "I...I'm sorry?"

"Oh yeah, shit's been getting wild since you've been gone. A couple of kids got born with some pretty apparent blessings from Kahlia, and ever since word got out our status as a pilgrimage site has quadrupled. More, even. The Church of Bounty has even started organizing Conception Caravans to bring in folks from out of town who want to try getting pregnant here."

"That...that can't possibly be an actual thing."

"Well, I'm not sure what they actually call it, but they're basically bringing in tour groups of young couples to stay in the inn for a week, and, well, get their business done." She glances off to the side before continuing. "Even had a couple single ladies asking if they could 'rent a bunny man' for a night..."

"I'm...assuming the response to that is a no?"

Xenia scoffs. "For now. Haven't had a meeting with the big lady upstairs for a while now, but I wouldn't be surprised if that changes at some point. Anyhow, that's your business if you wanna go for it!" She pauses and narrows her eyes. "In fact, now that I think about it, I'd probably have to watch it as you give me more grandkids, so on second thought go rent a room at the Lucky Bastard if you're going for that. Otherwise you're fine to stay here for a bit. And I assume you are staying for a bit?"

"We planned for it, although of course it is up to you. I thought we'd report in on what we've been doing and then see what you had in mind for additional...training, or challenges, or whatever else you would like to lay before me."

"Fair enough. For starters - " Xenia tilts her head at Thaddeus's new arm. "Gone ahead and got that regrown? I feel a little bad now and again that we didn't help you reattach the old one, but it seems like you've managed alright."

"Actually, no, it's not been regrown. Not more than a small amount, anyways. This is actually a prosthetic, one which we purchased in the capital. Very highly enchanted and somewhat modular, so it can be modified between battles. The forearm contains a spell for a barrier shield, and the thumb and first two fingers are effectively wands." He frowns at his own explanation. "We, ah...used some of the equipment from Linda's possessions to help put it together. What we could salvage, anyways. With the mana in this realm not being entirely compatible with our own equipment, many of our lesser items have already been discarded or dismantled for parts. Fortunately my Boots of Speed are a Worthy family heirloom and powerful enough to last for years, even without Tizzy's help in recharging them."

"I see. Does sound pretty cool. And what've you been using it for?"

"We did attempt one other dungeon. Fire Sands, very popular in this kingdom apparently. It was...a very different experience delving a dungeon that we had no personal quarrel with. Also, I've repeatedly heard that the other dungeons in this realm are mostly not as...aware as you are, and your dungeon guardians, and it certainly holds true there. We weren't insulted by a single floor guardian! Although to be fair, we did not fully clear it, it is also one of the kingdom's oldest dungeons."

"I might be interested in hearing more about that - but my avatar time is limited, so let's keep it to short stories for now. One dungeon didn't keep you busy for half a year, so what else have you been up to?"

"Mostly, we decided to focus on things that were more directly beneficial. Protecting villages from monster attacks, for the most part." Thaddeus pauses, and frowns. "We did have one particularly unusual encounter though..."

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