Zero to Hero: A High Fantasy Harem Romance LitRPG

II-VI: The Count and The Slasher


I woke up on a stone slab. It was cool against my sore back. I tried to wipe my face, but my helmet was still on. Unclipping the strap and pulling it off, I sat up with a groan, opened my eyes, and took in my surroundings.

I was on a stone slab set against the wall of a small stone cell. On the other side of the cell, there was a wooden door. A narrow slit with bars through it was at eye level. Below the slit, two slots with wooded sliders were carved into the door: one at wrist level, and a larger one at ground level. In the corner of the cell, there was a bucket.

That was it.

"What the hell did I get myself into?" I whispered to no one. Standing, I hobbled over to the door and looked through the bars. Beyond the cell, there was a narrow hallway. Similar doors ran either way down the hallway, illuminated by dim glowstones set into the walls. To the left, far down the hall, there was a staircase. The sounds of cheers and shouting echoed down the steps.

"Hello?" My voice echoed down the hallway. I thought I heard a snicker, and I definitely heard someone groan. "Is anyone there?"

"Keep it down, boy, else you'll meet the Goddess sooner than you'd like," a man's voice growled from across the hall.

"Sorry." I cleared my throat and lowered my voice. It grew quiet enough that I could hear his heavy breathing from across the hallway. Someone coughed in the distance, and the sound of someone else relieving themself echoed up the hallway. When they were done, I figured it couldn't hurt to try to talk more. If I was going to die, so be it. "Could you tell me where we are?"

He chuckled. "If those legends from that other world are true, I'm pretty sure this is a place they call Hell."

That wasn't ominous. "I heard the announcer say we were in Galden. That true?"

The man didn't answer for a long time. Someone coughed again, and I heard squeaking that sounded a lot like a rat. The rat's squeaks grew frantic, there was a crack, and the noise vanished.

"Hold on. I like to see people when I talk to them. Good manners and all that." There was some shuffling, then the sound of a bucket being moved, and a wide, bearded face came into view. "Aye. In the Dregs, where no one'll find us."

"The Dregs?"

"Between the mines and the Depths. Hard to find. Harder to leave."

"What happens down here?"

"Crime, mostly. That, and fighting. Lots of fighting. All the castaways and unsavory folk of Galden eventually make their way here."

I took a deep breath. It smelled like sweat and piss. "How do we get out?"

The man chuckled again, then started cackling. "You don't. Did you hear me?"

"But, if you could?"

A voice, shrill and piercing, shrieked from the far side of the hallway. "We go for long walk. Up, up, up! Find portal. Go outside! Breathe clean air!"

Another shriek. "I'll wring every one of your necks. I'll twist and turn and rip until... Oh, just you wait!"

Someone started crying. "Stop it! They'll come for us again!"

A heavy door ground open, and footsteps filled the hall. Everyone got quiet.

"You better keep your damn mouths closed," a voice called out, "unless you're wanting to be cut open again."

I peered out the best I could, trying to find the source of the voice. Up the hall, there were three people wearing those hoods and masks I'd seen earlier. They were marching my way. As they walked, I could make out snippets of conversation.

"... Lost good men in the forest..."

"... Damn elf cut down twenty of us... barely got away"

"... That priestess was worse..."

"... Damn near burned the forest down..."

"... Made a bad call..."

"... Heading to Galden..."

As they got closer, their conversation died down. Then, when they were standing in front of my cell, one of them turned and smacked my cell door with a rod. "Back up. No bullshit, or you're dead. Got it?"

I nodded. "Yeah." Taking a few steps backward, I watched intently as they turned to the cell opposite mine.

"Alright, Khadrel, on your feet. It's time for your match, you damn bastard." The men marched up to the cell opposite mine. Some keys cling, the latch unlocked, and the door swung open.

Inside the cell, a mountain of a dwarf was standing tall, thick bronze armor covering every inch of his body. He had a massive hammer in his hands. "That time already, is it?"

"Yeah." The men didn't step closer. "You gonna pull anything again?"

"Course not. Though, that beating you gave me last time felt good. Like a nice massage. I should do it again."

One of the other people, a woman by the shape of her, raised her hands. Tendrils of black energy snaked around her wrists. "I've got good money on you today, Count. Don't make me risk it."

The dwarf chuckled. "I'd hate to lose you any money, Aerell. In fact, I plan to double it, today. Come on, let's go." He stomped past them and headed down the hallway without another word.

As they walked, they started talking with one another again.

"... Slasher's been acting up again..."

"... Control magic's not working on her..."

"... Time to cull her..."

"... Like to see her on her knees..."

"... Good use for that mouth of hers..."

"... Sharp teeth..."

"... Disgusting bastards... think with your cocks..."

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"... Not what you said last night..."

There was a loud slap, followed by laughter.

Before they reached the end of the hallway, they slipped out of sight. A minute later, a door boomed again, and the hallway was silent.

Sitting back down on my stone slab, I swung my feet up and lay back. Closing my eyes, I tried to sort out my thoughts, but the only thought that kept popping into my mind was "how the hell was I getting out of this?"

"I'll show them how sharp my teeth are." A woman's voice said nearby.

Her voice didn't sound like it had come from the hallway. No, it was close. Really close.

"Cut 'em tip to throat and feed 'em their guts."

"Hello?"

Someone shuffled, and everything went quiet.

"Is someone there?" I kept my voice low. No use in setting off the guards again.

"You think because I'm locked in this cell, I'll chat with some loser? Keep dreaming." The voice sounded familiar. Where had I heard it before?

I looked around for where the voice was coming from. I didn't see anything at eye level, so I dropped to the floor and looked along the walls. There, at the edge of my slab, was an inch-wide iron grate, and beyond it I could make out two dangling feet. She had long boots on, but the green skin was visible. "I think I know you."

Her feet stopped swinging. "Lots of people know me. Doesn't mean I know them."

"You might."

"Why should I care?"

"I don't know if you should. Still, the name's Alex."

"Alex..." She clicked her tongue, and her feet started swinging again. "Don't know an Alex."

Arden's [Ring of Detect Lies] got tighter around my finger. "You're Vral, right?"

She froze. "Vral's dead. Dumb bitch made some bad choices, pissed off the wrong people, and got snatched up when she tried to skip town. Down here, I'm the Slasher." Her feet swung back up onto her slab. "If that's all, kindly fuck off, Alex."

How could I keep her talking? "Should I call you The Slasher or just Slasher?"

"Idiot." Her feet swung back down. "Everyone calls me The Slasher."

"How'd you get that name?" I asked, despite knowing it was probably a terrible question.

She chuckled. "You can say I'm good with my daggers. They're kind of my thing."

"I remember." She'd nearly taken down her whole crew alone with those throwing daggers of hers. "You were incredible that day."

"I was, wasn't I?" She laughed a pure, genuine, full laugh. Some of the tension between us faded. "Flattery will get you everywhere, you know."

"It isn't flattery if it's true."

She giggled. "Oh, is that so? What else can you tell me about me, then?"

I remembered thinking she was really pretty. That might work. "You're definitely the most beautiful goblin I've ever seen." I mean, I'd only met, like, twelve, and they were mostly men, but still. She was striking.

She clicked her tongue. "The most beautiful goblin, huh? That's not saying much. I'm hurt."

"No! What I meant is, you're gorgeous. In general. As a woman."

"As pretty as that little girl you had with you that day? Because, let me tell you, if she wasn't already taken, I'd have taken her for my own, but I'm pretty sure you two are a thing."

"We are, but I don't want to answer the other part. You're you, she's her."

She laughed. "Good man. Never talk up one girl by putting down another." Her feet started swinging harder. "So, what's the best part about me, Alex? And think carefully. I've killed people for less than you've committed to already so far." She said the words so simply, as if she were talking about the sky.

Shit. I thought back to the day outside the mine. I remember thinking she was beautiful, but why? What was nice about her? How could I keep this ball rolling? I didn't want to sit in silence.

Hair?

Definitely. It was long and black and wavy. My type. But hair? As a winning complement? Come on.

Hips?

Hell yeah, but also, no. What would I even say? Damn girl, you've got some wide, breedable, baby-making hips. No way. I couldn't say that.

Eyes?

That was it. "Your eyes are striking. I'd never seen red eyes before that day, and yours were incredible. Fierce and confident. Like a predator, but also with so much depth. I think your eyes are your best feature."

Her feet slowed and slowed until they stopped moving. Then, she sighed. "You know something? I like that. You did good, Alex. If you'd have said my tits, I would have broken the wall down and clawed your eyes out."

I laughed. "I mean, those are nice, too."

She chuckled. "Bitch, I know what I got."

There was a pause, then we both started laughing. We laughed together for a while, and when the moment died down, I took a deep breath. I'd won her over, but it was so stressful. "What are you going to do? You know, to get out of here?"

She clicked her tongue again. "Not a damn thing."

"That can't be right. When we got back to the temple, the others told me about the Slasher. Word is, she can be anywhere and do anything. Is that not true?"

"It's a good persona, huh?"

"So, what's the truth?"

"I'm a badass, but I'm not invincible, and I can't see everything. With no one watching my back, I was an easy target."

"You left your crew?"

"Yeah."

"That must have been hard."

"Not at all. I never liked a single one of those losers."

I shook my head. She was something. "So, you're really going to do nothing?"

"Yup."

"Why's that?"

"Because there's no point. I'm not getting out. Neither of us is."

I shook my head. "There has to be a way."

"Yeah, there's one."

"Which is?"

"I'm one of the best they've got. Me and that dwarf across the hall. So, they'll keep me alive as a money maker until I fuck up or get hurt. So, the plan is to make some shitty lord a whole lot of money. Catch his eye. Then, maybe, I'll have the privilege of being bought again. I was a kid last time, bought to be some dumb bitch's playmate and bodyguard, but this time I'll be a big girl. Istaeran lords love their little goblin playthings. So, I'll do what I gotta do. That's the plan."

"That can't be your plan."

"Oh, trust me. I'd much rather my future mate beat me to an inch of my life, then offer me his hand like a real man should. That would get him every ounce of me, and then some. Buuut, it looks like that dream's come and gone. Being a concubine to some sniveling shit wasn't my goal in this life, but I'll play the good bedmate. At least 'til I kill whoever buys me in their sleep. That, or I'll die in battle." She sighed. "Either way, I'll be free."

That didn't sit right with me. "You deserve better than that."

"You don't know me. I'm not good people."

Arden's ring tightened on my finger. Not too tight, but just tight enough that my finger tingled. That told me everything I needed to know about her. "I don't need to. Outside the mine's entrance, you took down your own team for doing this exact kind of thing. Said it didn't sit right with you. Say what you want, but I don't believe you're all that bad."

Her feet started kicking again. "Unlike me, you are good people. I can tell. I'll send some curses down to the Dark Father. Maybe then, he'll take you soon."

"And I'll help you escape."

She laughed a bitter laugh. "You aren't shit, Mr. Templar. Don't play."

"I'm not a Templar. Not really."

"At least the one time I saw you, you dressed like one, you looked like one, and you acted like one, all handsome and put together and forgiving. Normal people aren't like that. Normal people are shit."

"Still doesn't make me one. I just ended up with them."

"What are you then?"

"Oh, just a guy from another world who's in way over his head."

"You're not inspiring much confidence in me right now."

"I don't have much confidence to give. Just hope."

"No hope to be had down here."

"Maybe not, but there has to be a way. I refuse to believe this is it. I'm getting out, no matter what."

She laughed. "Yeah, in a body bag or as property. Those are the ways." Her feet kicked back up into the bed. "No use in talking anymore. I'll end up cutting you down soon enough. I don't want to get attached." She paused, then added, "Keep that helmet of yours on. The less they know your face, the better. You can become the character they want you to be, at least until you die."

Reaching over, I picked my helmet up off the slab and strapped it back on. "Okay."

"Good boy." She was quiet for a time. "You're a traveler, then?"

"Yeah. I'm from a place called Earth."

"Like the ground?"

"Yeah. It has other names, though. Some people call it Terra. Mostly scientists and nerds."

"Weird." She took a deep breath. "Is your world... Is Terra a better world than this one?"

"In some ways, yes. Some, no. Right about now, I'd definitely say yes."

She didn't speak for a time. "Do you think someone like me could be free there? Could I make something more of myself? Or would I be destined for a shit life there, too?"

Something about her words made me sad. She sounded so defeated. "It might be hard, but I think you can change your fate no matter what world you're in. You just have to try. I did."

She sighed. "Maybe you're right." I could hear her roll away. "I hope I get to kill you soon. I promise I'll make it quick. It'd be a shame for that pretty face and sweet heart of yours to wither away down here."

"Thank you, I think."

"Night, Alex."

"Night, Vral."

I leaned back on the stone slab and stared at the ceiling, my head swimming with questions and worries. How was I going to pull this off? Because now, I didn't have just one person to save. I'd save her, too.

You receive the quest [Deserving Something Better]

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