Oliver smiled down at the sleeping forms of his family, the pair curled up together with peaceful looks on their faces- thankfully, Poli had rigged up a padded headband to cover the sharp nubs of Jal's horns, protecting them both from accidental pokes and stabs. With her horns covered, the small girl looked surprisingly human... if he ignored the sharp, black fingernails- though that could easily be attributed to being an aesthetic choice.

The simple, happy scene was something he had never experienced before- his own father not really being the warm or loving type... And, for a moment, he was tempted to just curl up with them and enjoy a night of relaxation...

First, he had a little more work to do.

As his mind focused on what he wanted, a small thought flitted through his mind: the Auction was more metaphysical for him, and didn't actually require him to go anywhere or even move. Why couldn't he cuddle with his family while he made deals with people throughout the Multiverse?

Wrapping his arms around the two of them, Oliver allowed himself a moment to just enjoy the warmth and closeness of his family.

With a small smile on his lips, he opened the Auction.

Opening Auction House...

Initiating Virtual Space...

Distributing Invitations...

The MDMS Auction House is now open for business!

The Liasion has joined the auction.

Praetor has joined the auction.

Anonymous has joined the auction.

Anonymous has joined the auction.

Renos has joined the auction.

Lady Moonthistle has joined the auction.

Lanthandor has joined the auction.

Madkitty has joined the auction.

Mad Scientist Imogen has joined the auction.

Unit E4250B1131 has joined the auction.

Anonymous has joined the auction.

Ambassador Toxic has joined the auction.

Kasamuri the Watchful has joined the auction.

Silk(Host): Welcome everyone, and thank you for attending! Tonight I bring to you an assortment of items that I have traveled far and wide to gather- the tale itself worth quite a bit in its own right!

Silk(Host): But you aren't here for stories! All of you are here for the sake of acquiring new things. Whether it is necessity, or simply curiosity, that motivates you, I hope you find what you are looking for among the things I have to offer.

Silk(Host): And if not... There is always next time!

Silk(Host): But, before I bring up the first item...

Oliver took a deep breath, focused on his goals. He knew that mentioning specific things he was looking for actually weakened his bargaining power- after all, if someone had what they wanted, and was smart about it, they could easily shift things more in their favor...

But, if it meant getting what he needed, he was willing to take a small loss.

Silk(Host): There are a few items that would be of use to me, and would warrant my attention. Charms and enchantments for illusions or disguise, translating languages, mental protection, physical protection... Ways to cleanse others of diseases, poisons, or other afflictions...

Silk(Host): And, of course, my usual interest in other oddities and curiosities. There are many things I can find a use- or a market- for...

Mad Scientist Imogen: Oh, Auction! Wonderful! Have you obtained more of that wonderful drug from before? I'm just starting on a new experiment...

Ambassador Toxic: Perhaps you should wait for our Host to explain the items, you blithering imbecile?

Mad Scientist Imogen: Who are you calling an imbecile!? I will have you know, I am a graduate of the Kingsburrow Academy for the Dark Arts and Sciences! Top of my class, no less!

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Oliver wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the budding argument- this was a first for his auctions, as most of the time everyone was too focused on what would be offered to be bothered with each other... Though, this 'Mad Scientist' was a... unique... individual.

But he didn't want to wake the pair sleeping next to him...

And he didn't want this squabble to derail his auction any more than it already had.

Silk(Host): I ask that everyone please restrain themselves during the auction. There is no need for rudeness or hostility, and such will not be tolerated.

Ambassador Toxic: Do not think to lecture your betters, merchant! Just bring out your items- though I do not expect much, this should at least prove entertaining.

A brief hint of anger shot through Oliver at the arrogant person's words. He absolutely hated people that looked down on others- especially people that looked down on him. This asshole may be some sort of ambassador, but what right did they have to be such a dick?

And to the host of the Auction? For a second, Oliver wished he could just ban the jerk-

Ban (Ambassador Toxic) from the Auction?

(Yes/No)

(Ban duration options: 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, and Permanent)

A wicked smile flashed across Oliver's face as he considered this development. He had never had reason to even think about removing people from the auction... but the option was there.

Before removing the asshole, he felt it necessary to give them a second chance- they can't spend money if he kicks them, after all. But he definitely wasn't going to take abuse from some jerk he had never even met.

Silk(Host): Ambassador Toxic, I'm sure that you are a powerful and influential person where you are from...

Silk(Host): But this is my Auction, and such behavior will not be tolerated. This is your only warning: Restrain yourself or you will be removed, and possibly banned, from this auction.

For just a moment, the Auction ground to a halt as everyone waited to see how this played out. The Host had never been anything less than polite and welcoming... But, then again, no one had been quite so abrasive before. Could the he actually remove people? Ban them?

And how many wondrous and useful things would someone miss out on, even with a temporary ban?

But, apparently, some assholes just wouldn't listen.

Ambassador Toxic: You dare threaten me!? Do you have any idea who I am? One word from me-

Ambassador Toxic has been banned from the Auction(1 month ban).

Oliver let out the breath he had been holding. That felt... satisfying. While he normally just ignored assholes, that asshole was on the verge of ruining what was a wonderful day.

He wasn't really surprised that some named Ambassador Toxic turned out to actually be a toxic asshole. Just annoyed.

Silk(Host): I apologize for that... unpleasant... display. I will not abide such behavior in this auction, and I thank all of you for you understanding- as well as for the decorum and positive atmosphere that has thus far been a staple of this auction. I want this auction to be an exciting place, yes, but also one of joy and happiness.

Silk(Host): And, with that out of the way, we can jump into our first lot!

Silk(Host): Our first lot is one I'm sure our excitable Mad Scientist will be eager for. While it is not the drug she has requested- and I do apologize for not obtaining more of that, as that requires outside assistance- this lot is actually an interesting plant with number of interesting properties!

Silk(Host): Found on an alien world during one of my adventures, my local guide had a great deal to say about this plant. Called 'Dream Root' by the locals, this plant is known to cause vivid hallucinations and feelings of euphoria when ingested... And is mildly addictive...

Silk(Host): More than that, though, this plant, when applied topically, serves as a local anesthetic- and, if used in small amounts, does not cause any other adverse effects.

Silk(Host): Though, of course, I should remind everyone that this is based off of the local biology and may affect others differently. The seller holds no responsibility for the use, or misuse, of this plant.

Mad Scientist Imogen: Oooh.... I can't wait to experiment with that! Can I bid now? I really, REALLY want to bid on them!

A small chuckle escaped Oliver. This Mad Scientist was almost as excitable as Jal.

Silk(Host): This lot consists of ten(10) of the Dream Root plants, all of which have been carefully gathered and potted. With proper care, you can have a regular supply at your fingertips!

At first, he had considered just selling some harvested roots while keeping the plants themselves- if he grew them himself, it would possibly be a sustained market... Except he knew that was stupid. For one, Oliver wasn't a gardener. While he could certainly grow a few plants, and had helped his mom in the garden before, it wasn't something he was particularly driven towards...

That, and caring for a garden would keep him home and away from the adventures that he enjoyed.

More than that, though... Part of the draw of his auction, which he had built up so far, was the variety of strange things gathered from all over the place. He wasn't looking to corner the market on one item, but instead consistently bring new and unusual things.

Cornering one market could bring decent, stable money... But he was after the big swings that could only come from the new and unusual.

Silk(Host): Now... I was going to ask 'who wants to start the bidding', but I think we already know the answer to that!

Silk(Host): So, what is our first bid?

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