Cooper looked at his companion from the corner of his eye. George was unbothered by the scrutiny. The same way he was unbothered by anything that happened around him. Cooper had no idea what to make of the man. He was at an odd place with the sect. Not in the inner circle of the sect officers, but too advanced, too foreign, and too absent to be part of their little cadre of initiates.

Part of that might have been Cooper's fault. They were close in age, but George's experience was so vastly different than his, common ground was hard to find. How should he open conversation with someone that had been press-ganged into a magical secret police, and then fled across two continents to escape? And how would that guy not look down on Cooper, the rich kid who still didn't know what he wanted from life? But maybe this was a good opportunity to try.

"You didn't have to come with me." It would have been nice if the first members of his sect that saw his family home were his friends. But when George had asked Laurel to join Cooper on her quest she hadn't hesitated before saying yes.

"I don't mind. I'm a country boy at heart. Feel cooped up when I'm in the city too long." He turned and looked expectantly at Cooper.

"Was…Was that a pun?"

"I'm getting better at Meristan."

"How have you been liking the sect?" Cooper immediately cringed at the awkward question but didn't retract it.

"I love it," came the reply.

"Wait, really?"

"It's the best place I've been… as an adult. I'm safe, and I can pretty much do whatever I want. I'm even getting better at magic."

"Wow, yeah I hadn't really thought of it like that. I guess it's different with my parents."

"I'm not saying this right, it's more than that. It's not the first time I've had a purpose, but it's the first time that purpose hasn't been poison, seeping away any joy or morale. The sect is my second chance, and I'll fight for it."

Cooper wasn't sure where to go from there and they walked in silence the rest of the way from the stagecoach stop to his parent's estate. It occurred to him that George's reticence might have had more to do with a language barrier than any natural disposition.

The drive was carefully designed to give the full effect of the manor house to visitors, and it didn't disappoint. The Sarsenne estate sprawled for kilometers in all directions, and the house was the jewel in the crown. Cooper knew it took an army of staff to keep the white stone facade gleaming, and the grounds in the wild, windswept aesthetic that evoked the classical romanticism his mother was so fond of.

George whistled and Cooper remembered he was technically the host in this situation. He dredged deep in his memory for the lectures on the history of the estate, and tried to spin that into something entertaining on the last kilometer of the walk.

After the housekeeper brought them to rooms and forced a meal into them, the duo were left to their own devices. Cooper had been right, two of his brothers and their families were in residence. Luckily they still had time to brace themselves, as the whole group had ridden over for a house party at the neighboring estate, and wouldn't return until the following day.

"What first?" He looked at George for opinions.

The older man shrugged. "Your show."

"Right, yes. Umm, let's start with the Core in the village. Get that out of the way so we can focus on the rest."

He cursed himself for an idiot the entire walk, realizing they should have just done it before heading to the estate. But he didn't turn them around. That would just make him look even more foolish.

Despite himself, Cooper perked up when they arrived back at the village. This place, with its ivy-covered cottages and picturesque gardens, held some of his fondest memories. His steps slowed as he thought back to the highlights of a picture-perfect childhood.

He was stalling. Either not knowing or not caring about Cooper's nerves, George led them unerringly to the local pub. It was still early for the evening crowd, and the owner was wiping down the tables, only a few other patrons present and facing off over a game of byd.

"Two ales, please, Jyles. My friend and I are in town and looking to relax for a bit."

"Right away Master Cooper."

They settled in threadbare but comfortable armchairs, in front of an empty hearth. Cooper pulled out one of the Core Management texts he'd checked out of their library. Laurel was remarkably free with the books in the sect's collection, only restricting access to the magical tablets or the Legacy Stone, which he'd yet been invited to even see, let alone touch. Cooper had learned the hard way to route any requests to take things off sect grounds through her rather than Adam. While their Loremaster was gone, he was taking full advantage of the privilege. The instructions were straightforward, and he'd had them memorized before leaving the sect. He looked them over again anyway. Maybe he should wait and do this later, after more practice sessions. There were some other books about Core's he hadn't read yet either, and he should probably review everything possible to make sure he did it right.

"I'll keep an eye out here." George interrupted Cooper's downward spiral.

His choices were to look like a coward in front of the man who'd killed more monsters in the beast wave than anyone except Martin or Devon, or follow through. Cooper nodded to George and tried to get comfortable. He crossed his arms. Then placed them onto the arms of the chair. Hand in his lap. Legs crossed. Then straight. Finally, sensing Jyle's attention he pushed himself off the metaphorical ledge.

Eyes closed, Cooper opened himself to the world. It was less revelatory than he'd been led to believe. Laurel's descriptions of Verilia were of vast oceans of energy, pouring in from outer space and twisting around the planet. Any unwary cultivator that attempted to explore would be tossed into the depths, unlikely to find their way back out. What he found in Yvelon was like splashing in a stream on his parent's estate. Perfectly safe and a lovely way to spend an afternoon.

Confidence growing, Cooper pushed his mind further into the flows. There were small rapids and snarls, but he mentally smoothed them out with little trouble. It was fun! He reached even deeper. He wanted a chance to see the Core.

Hands shaking his shoulders jolted Cooper back into his body. George's face was hovering over his, eyes darting between Cooper's. A small smile broke out from behind the taciturn mask, and he backed up. With the extra space came the realization that Cooper was exhausted. His limbs were hanging like lead weights and all he wanted was to sleep for a day and a half.

"Everything alright over there lads?" Jyles' gruff voice said.

"All set. Cooper just drank the ale too quickly and got a bit sleepy is all."

Cooper gaped at George. That had been a perfect Verilian accent. Not a trace of Laskar to be found.

"Good lad. Travel'll take it out of anyone."

Having assuaged his concerns, Jyles went back to the bar, where Cooper was surprised to see a small crowd waiting for service. A glance at the window and the angle of the evening sunlight as it traced across the floorboards told him it was past time most people in Yvelon quit work for the day.

"How long?" he asked in a low voice. While he had fond memories of Yvelon, he didn't think having discussions about the local magic in the middle of the pub would go over well with the locals.

"Couple hours. When you started shaking a bit I woke you up."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Should we head out or is dinner at this place worthwhile?"

"Unless you want to carry me back to the manor, we're staying."

**********

"Keep up Cooper!" Jean shouted from where he was cantering ahead.

Cooper shared a look with George, who just raised an eyebrow. "Yep."

"Your friend has a good seat. Where did you find him?" Phillip said. His oldest brother was keeping his horse to a more reasonable pace beside the cultivators. The look he aimed at George was full of suspicion. Mortifying. But Phillip was his favorite brother and actually cared about Cooper enough to be wary of new people hanging around.

"George is a member of the sect. He does a lot of work partnering with the Hunter's Guild, tracking monsters."

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The man in question nodded along at Cooper's description, but kept his eyes peeled on the surrounding countryside. While Cooper had been dead to the world the previous evening, George had put his time in the pub to good use, asking around about sightings of spirit beasts. Those tips had brought them to this section of rolling hills, where rumors agreed something had taken up residence. No one could agree on what it was exactly, but they had given their word that they would investigate. They had set off that morning, saddlebags packed and older brothers in tow, but so far they hadn't found anything.

After another hour of riding, and leading questions from Phillip, George turned the group sharply to the left and led them off into the hills. They dismounted and tethered the horses, George motioning the rest to silence. Jean and Phillip actually listened to him, to Cooper's faint surprise. Both were avid hunters, and looking forward to the bragging rights for taking down something with magic. Guns in hand they crept towards where Cooper could hear a stream passing merrily through the countryside.

They crept forward as a group until a pack of spirit beasts came into view. His first impression was that there were a lot of them. The second was that they were adorable. If dog-sized rabbits existed, and could grow tiny racks of antlers, that would be a close match for the herd in front of them. Pelts ranged from snowy white to the dull brown of a field bunny, with a few more exotic options mixed in. The largest was a deep forest green, with jet-black antlers crowning its head. It surveyed the rest of the herd drinking from the stream, and the kits frolicking to the side.

"Do you know what they are? Dangerous?" Cooper whispered to George.

"They're in one of the bestiaries. The Alrasian doesn't translate but they're not that much worse than a regular rabbit. Can do some damage with the antlers and small claws, but not aggressive by nature."

"So do we just leave them?"

"I'm taking one," Jean shoved himself between George and Cooper to join the conversation. "It's Samira's birthday soon and a stole made from one of the furs will be the perfect gift."

George considered for a moment. "Just one. An adult, and far from the little ones." He turned to bring Cooper and Phillip into the instructions as well. "They'll probably scatter, but spirit beasts are more aggressive than mortal ones. So be ready if some of them charge at us."

It was over quickly. Jean was an excellent shot, and he practiced regularly. There was a loud crack, and the rabbit slumped to the side with a bullet through the head. The rest of the animals bolted off. Before they were out of sight, the green alpha turned and surveyed the party. George tensed, stuck for a moment in a standoff. The moment broke and it ran off without a confrontation. It was a bit of an anticlimax after a morning hunt but Cooper was not going to complain about not having to fight for his life.

"Is that it?" Phillip asked.

Jean was busy field dressing the rabbit, careful to avoid any spots of blood on the luxurious fur.

"Nothing else nearby that I can tell," George answered.

"How much do you think those furs will sell for? If they're this close to the estate then we might be able to relocate the herd and harvest later."

"You want to farm spirit beasts? Really?"

"They're rabbits, Cooper. I think we can handle it."

"The big one seemed clever," George interrupted the argument. "I'm not sure you'll be able to domesticate them without a fight."

"I guess you might be right."

"Isn't that what I just said? Stars above, Phillip I'm not an idiot."

"We ready to head back?" Jean asked. He had rejoined them with the carcass held carelessly in one hand. "I think I'm going to see if we can do something with the antlers too. Maybe finally finish the application for the Hunter's Guild."

"Mom will kill you if you try," Cooper warned.

"Hardly. What did you kill for your application George?" A successful hunt was reason enough for his brothers to discard any hesitancy toward the quieter man.

"The sect has group membership. My performance in the defense of the city during the horde beast wave was considered sufficient for an additional personal license."

"Oh you fought in the defense? Tell us about it, we weren't in town at the time or we would have helped out."

"I told you about it months ago," Cooper said.

"I know, I just want to hear more."

George looked distinctly uncomfortable under the combined scrutiny of the Sarsenne brothers. By this point they had reached the horses and George the excuse to drop that thread of conversation. Instead they were treated to a litany of Jean's favorite hunting trips, and the prizes he'd found in each.

Cooper couldn't take any more. When they got back to the estate, he saw a familiar oak tree, standing guard over a bend in a stream where he'd spent afternoons hidden away from his brothers with a good book. The temptation to resume the practice was too much to ignore. He sent George a silent apology before speaking up.

"Part of my assignment here is to meditate in different environments to figure out what speaks to me. Alone. I'm going over to the black oak, I'll be back for dinner."

Giving his brothers a chance to argue was always a mistake, so he said the last over his shoulder as he directed his horse to the grassy bank of the stream. George looked conflicted but ultimately got caught up in the undertow of his brothers and was dragged off. Probably to look at the hunting rifle collection.

He picketed the horse to graze and relax, and settled himself in his favorite hollow at the base of the tree. It had been years since he'd spent time here, but it was still the perfect cozy nook to settle in. With his brothers getting farther away, he was able to relax into the right state of mind. Meditation was easy for Cooper, at least after months of practice. His breathing slowed, and his thoughts calmed down.

Birdsong and the gentle rumble of the stream washed over him as he focused on cultivating. Cooper tried to feel a connection. To nature in its entirety, to the earth beneath him or the sky above, to the horse or the birds still standing nearby. The longer he tried the more frustrated he became, and the harder it was to continue. Admitting temporary defeat, he leaned back and dropped his meditation with a sigh. It was simply impossible to tell if he felt a connection, despite Laurel's assurances. Maybe it was just a pleasant day outside. And maybe he would feel a better connection with some other ideas, and regret the choice for the rest of his life.

"Aaaahhhh!!!"

The calm summer air didn't acknowledge his outburst with so much as a faint breeze. Cooper wondered how long he could reasonably get away with lying around feeling sorry for himself. Life would be so much easier if Laurel just looked at him and decided what aspect would fit best. He let himself doze off, not quite asleep but just enjoying a lazy afternoon for what it was, since an aspect was so obviously still out of reach.

Something sharp pinched in his ankle. He got halfway to sitting up before the agony struck.

Cooper screamed. His back arched while his whole body seized.

Something was inside his mana, forcing its way through his meridians. Every muscle shook and spasmed as he fought for control. It wasn't enough. Drip by drip, his mana was taken over. Cooper had just enough control of his neck muscles to turn his head. Coiled by his foot, tongue tasting the air, was a snake. Glittering green scales wrapped the thing in waving patterns, perfect to hide amongst the grass. And topping it all off, two fangs, a drop of blood still visible.

With every ounce of energy he had left, Cooper grabbed control of his leg and kicked the snake as far as he could. He choked out a sigh of relief before everything went black.

********

He woke with a whimper, while some cruel soul banged around next to him. Eyelashes fluttering, he forced himself into a sitting position and focused until the blur squatting in front of him resolved itself into George. He blinked a few more times before realizing he wasn't blind, and it was now fully nighttime.

"Snake?" he managed to croak out.

George handed him a flask which Cooper snatched and immediately tipped back. Only to come up coughing and sputtering when it turned out to contain whiskey, and not the water he was hoping for.

"Yeah, we found it off that way a bit. Not sure what you did but it couldn't slither away. I put it out of its misery."

"Good. It bit me! I thought I was dying. Wait, why are you making that face? I'm not dying am I?"

The gunslinger rubbed his chin before responding. "I don't think so. But your mana feels wrong."

Cooper shoved the flask back and turned his mind inward. His mana was still flowing. Sluggishly but it was there. He looked closer. George was right, something was different but he couldn't understand what exactly was happening. It felt off, other, somehow. Cooper had a horrifying thought.

"The snake. Do you still have it?"

From a bag on his hip, George produced a small Core and a pair of fangs. "Your brother wanted the skin."

Ignoring that for later, Cooper sent his senses into the Core. They were still clumsy most of the time, but he could tell enough to recognize the flavor as the same thing in his mana.

He was going to be sick. Cooper was going to have to go back and explain that during his self-discovery vacation, where he was meant to finally understand what path he wanted to walk, that choice had been taken away by his own inattentiveness.

"I think my mana is aspected. To whatever the snake had."

"Huh. I guess that makes sense. Any idea what it is?"

"Umm, how do you tell? Is snake an aspect?"

"Don't know. But I didn't totally understand my own until Laurel and Martin explained it.

His brothers mercifully let up on the racket they were making and came over to join the discussion. Phillip wasted no time, hooking his hands under Cooper's arms and hauling him to his feet. Cooper swayed but stayed upright. That earned him a hearty slap on the back, almost toppling him over again.

"Time to head back or do you need to nap some more?" Phillip said.

"No." Cooper answered. "No, we need to go back. Then we need to get to the sect as quickly as possible."

"You just got here!" Jean said.

There would be a time and place when Jean would be able to read his younger brother's mood, but it was far, far away from that evening and the family estate.

"I need to figure out what just happened to me," Cooper bit out through gritted teeth. "We're leaving in the morning."

"Oh, I'll come with you then. Now's as good a time as any to get that Guild application in. And the capital has the best clothiers to work with the skins."

Cooper sighed, long and deep. "Fine. Just, fine."

*********

The two of them shuffled into Laurel's office like little boys getting ready for a scolding. They stood in front of the desk, avoiding eye contact and waiting for Laurel to speak.

"Huh. Not sure I would have guessed you would choose poison."

"Poison? Is that what it is?" Cooper blurted out.

Laurel raised an eyebrow, looking back and forth between the two of them. She rose and gestured them towards the more comfortable sitting area, couches centered around a hearth dancing with heatless flames.

"You'd better tell me the whole thing."

It came pouring out of Cooper then, far more than he intended to say. How his brothers were getting on his nerves and he wanted some time alone to recharge, the frustration when it didn't work, and the mind-consuming terror when he thought it was too late. George had little to add, factually describing the search when Cooper failed to turn up for dinner, and then finding and harvesting the snake.

"Fascinating," Laurel said when the story was finished. "I've heard of venomous spirit beasts before, where the poison works on a spiritual level rather than physical, but never one that forced an aspect. Maybe because your mana was still neutral. Consider your report done. George, you're free to go, but I'll say you should be proud of how you handled yourself. Cooper, stay and talk for a minute."

Their resident hunter left on soundless feet, leaving Cooper alone with the sectmaster. He fidgeted and shifted his weight to try and get comfortable. Laurel was always a little intimidating, even when she gave good advice.

"The situation is nowhere near as dire as your face says it is. Why do you look so upset?" she asked him.

"I mean, poison? No one wants to hang around with the poison guy."

"It's a strong aspect, and not one most people can safely gain without spending years building up resistances to different toxins. It's good in most fights. Maybe less helpful in a natural disaster or something but you're clever enough to work around that."

"Yeah, but…" he trailed off.

"Tell me what the real problem is. If you hate it that much, we can give it a few years and remove it. The process is…let's say not for the faint of heart. It's painful, and it will be a couple years after that before your cultivation is back to where it is now and ready for a new aspect."

"But what about all the stuff you said! About choosing my destiny and taking control of my own life. I waited too long and now I'm stuck with this."

"Tell me this. Next time you are at a crossroads, is the indecision going to paralyze you again?"

"How can I know that?"

Laurel laughed. "You can't. But look at it this way. You learned a lesson. Next time, I think you'll be able to get where you need to go. And it's not like you can't get another aspect in a few years if you want some flexibility."

Cooper felt the stress of the last week start to fall from his shoulders. Permission, even retroactively, made him feel a lot more settled. Now he could actually feel the excitement that came with aspecting his mana. And the no-longer-restricted section of the library.

Reading his mind, Laurel ripped him out of the pleasant fantasy. "Training is going to be a bit more difficult for you. I'm not sure we have many poison techniques in the archive, but we can take a look. Obviously no practicing on the others until we're sure you can reverse anything you do."

"How am I supposed to train then?"

"I hope you and George got along on your trip. Because you'll need to hunt monsters. And get him to show you how he infuses his mana into a bullet. Other cities are going to have beast waves too. I was already planning on sending you all around when possible, but for you it will be critical. Don't worry, there are ways. You aren't the only one with a dangerous aspect." She punctuated the last remark with a small bolt of lightning twining around the fingers on her left hand.

"Now go tell the others. It's time to celebrate."

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