"You're off for the big show tonight

So fly em' wing to wing

You're angels of Hell and you fight

For country and for king…"

The Radio was playing a song called Captains of the Clouds, which was a rousing ode to murdering people from the air. We weren't going to murder anyone. Not directly, anyway. Not at first.

The main dome of the Feast of Fools had been parked off the coast of Harrigan's island for some time, but it had been rebuilt a while ago and had the power of flight. It rose, trailing flowers, vines, roots and wisps of waterfall. The permanent cloud of multicolored Gardeners and Big Smart Bees stuck with it.

Everyone else was aboard, Humans, Cazadores and all the local Makers. The Maker Queen had been notified of Big Doings in the area but apparently she was used to that kind of thing. We still wanted to give her space, so we moved South until we felt better.

We were in the dome, those of us who wanted to be there, which was a lot of people of all sorts. Elanor and Ezra were nervously jamming with Gary, not making music, just noise. Taylor, in his armor, sat alone, isolated while surrounded by his fellow Humans.

We didn't have a bridge, like you see on the big ships in Star Trek/Wars, where the captain could sit in a chair and ponder importantly. It was just the dome. And for want of a better term, I was captain. Well, me and the Radio were captain. Mandy, in her shorty wetsuit, sat with the Humans but would periodically shoot me a thumbs-up or waggle her eyebrows at me.

Cassie was in a mood, striding about nervously, stroking the heads of Phobos or Deimos in their pouch around her chest. "Everyone know what to do?" She would occasionally yell, and everyone did indeed know what to do. "Okay good," She'd respond. Then a little while later: "Everyone know what to do?"

I wandered over to Ezra and Elanor. "This guy giving you a hard time?"

"No," said Elanor. She sighed sadly. "Not even once."

Ezra flared scarlet, and Elanor giggled and I have to say I felt like I was intruding. "He's the most important part of this whole thing, did you know?" I said to her, blushing a little myself.

"I do know that," she said. "I also know you say that about everyone. Mandy's the most important. Gary's the most important. Art and Husband and Taylor." Her face want blank as she and Ezra glared at him.

"Schmendrick's the most important, then," I said. "Radio, can I talk to everyone here please?"

"Owen was on the air!"

My voice echoed through the dome. "I ah…I have a speech."

Groans from all present.

"You can do it, Owen!" Mandy shouted. "Bore the hell out of us!" Laughter.

"Thank you, Beloved Mandy. Alright, amigos, it's time. Nobody's ever done anything like this before. But I do know this: when things get chaotic - and they will - trust yourself. Trust your fellow Fools beside you.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"They say there's no changing Human nature. But look around. Look at what we've become. Every single one of us has transformed into something the old versions of ourselves wouldn't recognize."

"And now we're going to change them. Not because we're better…we're not."

"I am," said Gary.

"--But because we've been given something they haven't: a chance. A chance to be more than what we were born as. Today, we're not just saving our dear friend. We're not even just saving Earth. We're offering humanity what we found here: the chance to become something new.

"Let's bring Schmendrick home. Let's help those idiots. And after that? After that, I need to go surfing because I never get to and it's bugging me."

Not a rousing speech, I thought, but there was a loud cheer. Mandy applauded, looking surprised and pleased. Ezra started at me with something I can only call tightly-controlled hero worship.

"I really am better than all of you–" Gary began.

"Doctor Harrigan was attempting to reach the Feast of Fools," the Radio said.

"All right," I said. "Let's talk to him. Don't boo him if you can avoid it. Go ahead, Green Radio, my comrade, my friend."

His voice rang through the dome. "We're ready for the exchange. Are you ready for us to arrive at Galt's Gulch?"

"What's Galt's Gulch? Hello, Doctor."

"They call the new city Galt's Gulch, from Atlas Shrugged. It's a big libertarian thing rich guys like, where … you know what, nevermind, I tried to explain this to you already. I'm not sure I get it myself. They want to go through all at once so they don't have an excuse to bicker over land rights. Then the helpers, in groups of one hundred at a time."

"The slaves."

"Helpers. They're listening to us, I'll have you know."

"Then you should be more courteous to your employers, Doctor."

"These men are well aware of my deep feelings for them. They're assholes."

No laughter from the Humans here. We all remembered being terrified of Harrigan and his paralysis trick, his ability to kill us with a dirty look, bring us back the next day. Hearing his voice again must have been horrifying for them.

"Your new city is ready, Doctor." It was not. "They'll be able to move in to luxury apartments, the kind of life to which they're accustomed." There were no apartments, luxury or otherwise. "They'll be extremely satisfied." They would not be satisfied. At all.

"I think you have a little trick, Owen. I think you're going to try to annoy us with some stupid little gesture. I think you need to remember that the whole Human population here is my hostage, not just your animal."

I felt it, the effect his words had on my Fools: icy shock. Had they heard his cruelties before? Had they heard, secondhand, of his threats to kill children unless his employers got what they wanted? Yes, they had. But this was different.

Say what you want about Humans: the ones I had in the dome here were stunned by Harrigan's nasty return to their lives. And the shock was leaving, draining away, into methodical fury.

"You need to know something, Owen. I remembered many of the people I brought through with the Isekai App. Not all of them; I'm old, after all. But I remember names and I looked up family members. I have a lot of people in my rolodex. The first ones up, if you follow me. Just in case."

This threat didn't seem to have the effect he wanted. Instead of cooling the rage of the people here, now they were white-hot desperate to kill, to tear and … punish.

"I get it, Doctor. We all do, I think."

"I'm glad, Owen. And whoever else is there. I'm glad we understand one another. Portal opens in one hour."

"Doctor Harrigan had ended the call."

"We don't need an hour," I said to the seething Humans in the dome. "This starts now. Taylor? Ezra? Gary? Mandy? Art? Husband, Armand, Cassie? Everyone. Everyone. Everyone."

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